The morning was fresh and clear, with just a hint of spring frost.  Birds filled the air with cheery racket, and  HotMama swept the sidewalk in front of her bar, humming a croaky tune to herself.  She was feeling rather light and bouncy this fine morning.  Workmen had come yesterday and replaced her scrolled mirror (luckily the insurance man was open to … um… suggestion), and all the tables were repaired, and her stock had been replenished.  The LeatherAss Bar and Grill was open for business, and all was right in the world.

She heard a rumble up the street and turned to watch with a sinking feeling, as the APEC War Wagon pulled up to the curb in front of her bar.   Out stepped one of those APEC broads, the streaky-white-haired one whose clone had caused so much havoc in HotMama’s bar over SniperKai.  Two Kai clones, one wearing a cowboy hat, and the other in a disco suit, got out with her and went around to the back of the Wagon.

“What do YOU want?” she demanded, fully determined not to let any more APEC into her bar.

“Hi.  I’m dgrequeen.  And I’ve got a proposition for you.”

HotMama’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.  “What kind of proposition?”

“Well, I know you’ve had some trouble here between various factions of Kais.  It must get pretty expensive, always having to replace all that glassware and stuff.”

“I’ve got connections,”  HotMama said, leaning on her broom and looking down her nose at dgrequeen.

“Yes, well, it must still be a pain.  And, you see, I’ve got a little problem of my own that you might be able to help me out with.”

“Why should I want to help YOU?”

“No particular reason.  Except that by helping me out, you help yourself.  Interested?”

HotMama thought it over.  “Maybe,” she said at last.

dgrequeen nodded to the two Kai clones and they opened the rear hatch of the War Wagon.  One after the other, three tall, burly, black-haired men climbed out and stood looking around.  At first glance, HotMama might have mistaken them for Kais until they turned around, and then she saw that while the hair was similar, long and black, it was worn down, and the men were much stockier in build.  These three were dressed in dark suits and wore dark sunglasses, but she could see that they didn’t quite resemble the Kais but were identical copies of each other.

“More clones?”  she said in disbelief.

“Yes, well, these are not Kai clones as you can see.  They’re genetic copies of our own FatAssAssin, who has been overly generous in handing them out.  It seems I’ve… uh… turned up with six of them, which is way more than I can handle.  Not to mention my Kai is about to have a psychotic meltdown.  So, I thought what better home for these particular three than HotMama’s bar?”

“Why on earth would I want them?”

“Oh, they’re sweeties, and they’re perfect for you.  HotMama, meet BruiserFAA, CosaNostraFAA, and the GreatFAA_Hope.”

HotMama took another look at the three.  Well, they were kind of cute.  One of them smiled at her, and said in a silky, John Malkovitch kind of voice:  “Please to meetcha, HotMama.”

Oh, my.

“I simply don’t have room for them at my place,” dgrequeen said.  “It was crowded enough with MyKai, ZenFAA, PartyAnimalFAA, and TheKitchenPossum, but now with these three and FAAcilitator, we’re just piled on top of each other.  Not, “she added, “that that doesn’t have its charms, but for every day living it’s just impossible.  So, I’ve got to find these guys a good home.”

“And you thought of me.”

“Well, yes.  Think about it, HotMama.  You can have your very own clones, not just a bunch of footloose antiKais hanging around.  And they’ll make perfect bouncers for your bar.”

HotMama pinched her lip between two fingers, thinking furiously.  One of the FAAs stepped over to her, looked her in the eyes, and said:  “Nice place you got here, ma’am.”

“Ma’am!  I ain’t no ma’am!”  But HotMama was thoroughly charmed, despite herself.

“I’ll do it,” she said suddenly.  “But just on a trial basis.  If it don’t work out, I send ‘em back to you!”

dgrequeen grinned.  “It’s a deal!  You won’t want to send them back, I promise you!  They’ll dote on your every whim, and bounce whoever you want bounced.  They’re yours, HotMama, and welcome!”

She kissed each of the FAAs goodbye, and then turned to the Kai clones.  “Okay, Cowboy and Disco, good work!  Next stop, SobSister’s Mission Shelter for Homeless Clones to drop off FAAcilitator (he’ll make a great job counselor).  And then, sigh, we can go let MyKai out of cryostasis.”