“Can I take this?”

“No!  For the last time, no!  Quit asking me!”

“Why not?”

dgrequeen threw up her hands.  She’d been trying to pack for the last hour and a half and getting nowhere, largely because MyKai could not contain his excitement at going on this trip to Halifax with her.  She’d already quelled one argument between him and the two FAA clones, who were begging and pleading not to be left behind.  ZenFAA declared dramatically that he couldn’t maintain his serenity if he were left behind to babysit PartyAnimal, as well as, shudder, the possum.  PartyAnimal, for his part, had been wailing and gnashing his teeth for an hour over the prospect of missing out on the greatest Lexxian party of all time.  It went on so long, MyKai lost his temper and threatened to thwack them both, and dgre had to intervene to prevent real bloodshed.

Now, the two FAAs were sulking and sniffling in the living room, and MyKai was dogging dgre’s heels throughout their quarters like an excited puppy.

“Can I at least take the binoculars?  For the whale watch?”

“We don’t need the binoculars to see whales, nobody’s going to really *look* for whales, and it’s just one more thing to take up space and keep track of.”

“But…” 

She turned around with the four T-shirts she’d selected from her T-shirt drawer, and ran smack into MyKai’s chest.

“MyKai!  Will you PLEASE go sit down!”

He immediately put a full-blown Kai pout on his face, and dgre felt her knees go weak, but life with him had given her a sort of immunity, albeit a puny one.  She pushed herself to the nearest chair and sat down, clinging to her T-shirts.

“No.  I’m not falling for that.  Don’t try that on me, I’m not falling for it.”

His eyes, the golden/green color of river water, widened with innocence.  “Try what?”

“What, did my brain just fall out of my head?  Did you just get amnesia?  Do you honestly think I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, and did you forget how many times you’ve pulled it?”

He squatted down beside her, and propped his elbow on her knee, with his chin on his fist, looking up at her with his puppy-dog eyes.  On impulse, he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his, and the T-shirts slipped to the floor.

“dgrequeen, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Some minutes later, when she became fully aware again, she realized he was hauling all her large suitcases into the living room, whistling cheerfully to himself.

“WHAT are you doing?”

“All packed!  No need to concern yourself any longer.  I’ve taken care of everything.”

She closed her eyes and groaned.  Oh, no.  Now she’d have to open the bags and go through it all again, because there was no telling what he’d put in there.  

She had tried again and again to explain to him that it was a four-night stay; therefore, they had no reason to take everything they owned, and whatever they needed should fit into carry-on bags.  For some reason, he could not or would not understand.  Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were going to The Holy Halifax wherein resided the embodiment of his Father Original, and he was too excited to think clearly.

She opened her eyes again and found herself staring into ZenFAA’s dark, accusing gaze.

“There’s no reason we can’t go too, you know,” he said quietly, while PartyAnimal sat beside him, nodding his head vigorously.

“I think we should go with you, Queenie,” PartyAnimal said.  “You need us.”

“Like a hole in the head,” dgre muttered to herself.

“Obviously MyKai isn’t going to be any help to you, Visakha,” Zen pointed out, ignoring the Kai clone’s scowl.  “He’s been bouncing around here like a little kid.  I can at least look after the bags, and make sure your hotel room has all the amenities.”

“And I can take care of your food and drinks while you’re there, and scout out the best parties---“ PartyAnimal said.

“No no no!  I can’t take all of you.  I just can’t!”

“Why not?” PartyAnimal whined.

“Somebody has to stay here and take care of TheKitchenPossum.  The kennel won’t take her.  Not after that last time.  And I don’t trust her with just one of you.”

TKP stuck her nose out of the kitchen and looked expectantly at dgrequeen.

“Take her along,” Zen suggested, earning himself a glare from both PartyAnimal and MyKai.

“What?  Are you crazy?  I can’t take a possum to Canada.  Customs would throw me out of the country before I ever got in!”

TKP sniffed in disgust.  “Yeah, like possums pay attention to international borders anyway!”  She wiggled her whiskers and looked hurt.

“You’re all just going to have to live with the facts, and the facts are these:  MyKai, you CANNOT take your golf clubs, your trading card collection, your wooden practice sword, your computer, OR your brace.”  dgre ignored his outraged expression.  “TKP stays here, and Zen and PA?  So do you.”

She got up and started hauling the suitcases back into the bedroom.  The clones and the animal all looked at each other for a moment, and then gathered and began whispering furiously.
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 2

“It’s understood then?”  MyKai said.  “She’s all mine.  No more of your importunate courting after this.”

ZenFAA nodded.  PartyAnimalFAA hesitated until Zen punched him on the arm, and then he reluctantly nodded too.

“You have our word as FAAs,” Zen said.

“Then I’ll help you,”  MyKai said.  “But while we’re on this trip, I’m in charge.  Understood?”

“In charge of what?”  PartyAnimal demanded, but Zen punched him on the arm again.

“We understand, MyKai,” Zen said.  “As long as you understand that we must do our part to make her trip memorable.”

MyKai thought behind his forelock for a moment, and then nodded.  “Very well.  We will all cooperate for the sake of our queen.”

TheKitchenPossum began dancing up and down on her hind legs, whiskers bouncing merrily.  “Oh, goody, goody, goody!  Halifax, here I come!  Gaaaaaallons of wunnerful margarita!!!”

MyKai and the two FAAs turned to stare at her.  The FAAs both sighed heavily.

“Oh boy,” MyKai said.
 
 
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 3
 

dgre returned that evening from last-minute shopping, feeling like she’d been beaten with sticks.  There was so much to do, and she was stressed.  This trip was turning into a bigger event than she’d planned.  She hauled her shopping bags up the stairs to her quarters, muttering to herself all the way, ignoring the nervous clones and other muttering APEC women who were all doing the same thing.

At her door, she fumbled with her key, dropped a bag, picked it up, dropped another bag in the process, dropped yet another one while trying to pick that one up, and left them all on the floor while she unlocked the door and pushed it open.  For a moment she stood there, completely flummoxed.

The place was dark except for candles flickering everywhere.  The door to the balcony was open to fresh evening breezes, but she caught the unmistakable scent of her favorite incense wafting from the brass burner on the small altar in the corner.  Easy-listening music played  softly on the CD player.  Underneath the incense, blending with it perfectly, was another smell, dark, rich, and tantalizingly familiar, and she sighed to herself, because she knew exactly what they were doing.

“I warn you,” she said into the darkness.  “This isn’t going to work.”

Silence.  She gathered up her bags and pushed them into the room ahead of her, closing the door behind her.  She looked around, but saw no one.

“I mean it,” she said.

ZenFAA materialized out of the darkness.  “Let me take those, my jewel,” he said, taking the bags out of her hands.  He raised one of her hands to his lips, kissed it gently, and then disappeared toward the bedroom.  And there was PartyAnimal beside her, leading her gently by the elbow toward the dining table, where she saw he had laid out an elegant place setting of silver, china and crystal, even a linen napkin.

“Hello,” he breathed into her ear, “My name is PartyAnimal, and I’ll be your slave this evening.”

She looked down.  “PA, what do you have on?”

He brushed her ear with his lips.  “Nothing, Quee---uh, my queen.  Don’t let it distract you.  I’ve prepared the most wonderful meal for you, fit for the queen … no, fit for the empress you are!”

“Eh?”  she squeaked.  Neither one of her FAA clones had ever been so forward before, knowing her passion was only for MyKai (and also knowing that he would thwack them both without a qualm if they tried anything).

“Well,” he said, “ If you must know, it’s a chiton.”

She looked again, realizing with the second glance that what he wore was blue, velvet, lapped over one shoulder, and stopped well above his knees.  He had also curled his long black hair, and was wearing leather wrist bands.

He seated her at the table.  “It was MyKai’s suggestion.  Although I would rather have dressed in something more appropriate to my Roman heritage, instead of the Greek.  I take it, though, you find it attractive?”

“*squeak*”

“Let me begin your meal with this exquisite aperitif.”  He set a small stemmed glass in front of her.  “Your companion will be joining you shortly.”

He walked into the kitchen.  dgre decided she was going to need fortification for the coming argument --- she was sure there would be an argument --- so she picked up the aperitif and drank it in one swallow.

Which was a mistake.
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 4
 

Whatever it was, it went straight to her head.  She licked her lips appreciatively.  Mmmm, Amaretto?  No, not quite that sweet, certainly not as syrupy.  Something with just a touch of almond, though, and an undertone of… was that chocolate? …. it sure was good, whatever it was.  She set her glass down and looked around to see if there was a decanter of it nearby.

As it happened, there was.

It sat on the sideboard, her best cut-glass decanter, the golden liquid inside gleaming in the candlelight.  dgre looked around cautiously, but PartyAnimal was in the kitchen doing something, and she didn’t see a sign of anyone else.  She didn’t want to be greedy, but that sure was good stuff.  She slid her chair back and tiptoed to the sideboard where she quickly refilled her glass and took a sip.  Mmm.  She topped the glass off and went back to her chair.

PartyAnimal came back in, carrying her best china platter, laid with a bed of fresh greens on which rested a scoop of pilaf and a roast Cornish hen cooked adobo, with a side of freshly steamed asparagus.  The smell was intoxicating, and dgre realized she was starved after braving the mob at the Maul.  He placed the platter in front of her and expertly carved the little hen, putting strips of the succulent meat on her plate, with a garnish of greens and a spoonful of the pilaf, topped with the buttery asparagus.  Then he poured her another glass of the goodwhateveritwas.

“Just to whet your appetite a tiny bit more,” he said.

The meal was delicious.  dgre ate it all and licked her fingers, and wondered idly if there were any more in the kitchen.  Meanwhile, Zen had reentered carrying a mandolin, and now sat in a corner of the room, playing and singing softly.   PartyAnimal cleared away the dishes, poured her another glassful and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

“Save room for dessert?” he murmured.

“Um…”  dgre sipped her drink and leaned back in her chair, feeling the room shift ever so slightly.  “Okay.”

MyKai stepped through the open balcony door.  He was breathtaking in the candlelight, dressed in his black velvet Brunnen-G suit, the one cut like the Novia Scotia hookrug, his hair done up in the warrior’s knot, his face and hands pale against the darkness.  He carried a small white box, and dgre’s breath caught as she recognized it.

He approached her with measured steps and knelt beside her chair.  Taking one of her hands, he pressed it to his lips, and then laid his cheek atop it, eyes closed.

“My queen,” he murmured, and she nearly thudded off the chair.

Her hand caressed the scarlet tattoo on his cheek.  “MyKai,” she murmured.  He opened his eyes and smiled at her, then opened the box.

“I have something for you.”

Chocolove.  A whole bar of deep, dark, rich, creamy, smooth Chocolove.
 
 
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 5

My thanks to Andrea Bocelli for “Nel Cuore Lei” from his CD “Sogno”.  I regret I’m not able to put in all the accent marks.
 

A small suspicion crept into her mind, but the food and the marvelous drink had lulled her.  No.  It was ridiculous.  MyKai would never help the FAAs get what they wanted.  She looked into his deep, green eyes above the Chocolove bar and nearly melted from the heat she saw there.  He smiled, and looked down, his forelock trailing across her forearm with icy prickles, as he broke off a piece of the chocolate to touch to her lips.

“There.  Ah!”  He pulled it away as she tried to take it, and then pressed it to her lips again.  Her eyes closed in ecstasy as the rich, dark creaminess melted on her tongue.  Before it was gone, she felt his lips against hers, and his tongue slid in, tasting of the same sweetness, and igniting a fire in the deepest part of her. 

Zen and PartyAnimal began to sing a lovely Italian duet.

Zen:             “E non c’e niente come lei                    And nothing can compare with her
                      E non c’e niente da capire                   There’s really nothing to understand

Zen & PA:    Lei e cosi                                              That’s just the way she is
                      Puoi solo dire                                       All you’ll know for sure
                      Che pie ti fa soffrire                             Is the more she makes you suffer 
                      Piu ancora l’amerai                              The more you find you love her

PA:                finche tu vorrai scoprire                      Until at last that dawning
Zen:               Dentro un brivido che da                     That in the thrill that she alone can give
PA:                Il segreto della sua eternite                  Lies the secret of her eternity
   
Zen:              A lei                                                      To her
                      Regalerai                                              You’ll glady give
                      Quello che restera                                All that’s left
                      Del tuo tempo che verra                       Of the time you’ve still to come
              
PA:                A lei                                                      To her
Zen                Ti legherai, per sempre avrai                You’re as one, with her, forever
                      Nel cuore lei....                                      And she’ll be there, in your heart...”
 
MyKai kissed his way to her ear, and whispered:

“Tonight, my love, I will take you where you’ve never gone before.”

She leaned back to look at him, thumping her forehead into his cheek.  The room slowly spun around her head.  “And where is that, my love?”

“Well… Since you asked…” He kissed the nape of her neck.  “I thought we might pay a visit to the travel agent.”

She blinked.  “Travel agent?”

“Yes, I’ve been thinking.”  He kissed her throat.  “I know you planned our trip yourself, but we may need the travel agent’s help now for extra tickets.”  He kissed her collarbone.  “If you and I are to truly enjoy ourselves, we need to be free of the mundane concerns that…”

“I knew it!” she screamed, startling MyKai so much that he let go of her and she tilted backwards in her chair, crashing to the floor.  Zen and Party stopped singing abruptly, eyes agog.  MyKai tried to help her up, but she was flailing with arms and legs.  PartyAnimal, rushing forward to help, managed to fall over the Possum, who had been hiding under the table and was now trying to get out of the way.  He stumbled forward, grabbed at the table for support, and brought the tablecloth, china, crystal, and leftover food crashing down on top of dgrequeen.  She rolled over and out of the chair like an ungainly fish flopping out of water, and scrambled up.  Broken china and crystal tinkled on the floor around her feet.  

She glared at MyKai, then grabbed the decanter of goodwhateveritwas from the sideboard and downed the remaining liquid with a gulp.

“You are soooo in trouble!  All of you!” she hissed, just before she turned to stomp into her bedroom and fell over the chair again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 6
 

“Now, none of us is going to get to go!”  PartyAnimal wailed.

Zen frowned and shushed him.  “Shh!  Do you want to wake her up?”  He turned to the stoic Kai clone standing in the corner of the room, watching them.  “MyKai, what can we do to fix this?”

MyKai regarded them coolly.  “It’s simple.  If I am denied this trip, I will kill you both.”

“No, no, I mean, how can we change her mind so that she’ll take all of us?”

MyKai tilted his head, retreating behind his forelock so that he could think. “She does not respond well to trickery.  Our best hope was seduction and that… sadly… is no longer an option.”

TheKitchenPossum, lounging on the couch with a cocktail glass full of margarita, snorted.  “You cookie-cutter dopes are so stupid!”

They all looked at her.

“You have a better idea, rodent?” Zen demanded.

TKP eyed them speculatively.  “Maybe.”

MyKai’s brace clicked into his hand and he aimed it at TKP’s head.  “Perhaps you should tell us, then.”

“You don’t scare me, meatsicle.”  TKP sipped her drink and smoothed her whiskers out with the back of her paw.  “Ahh!”  she said appreciatively, savoring the wunnerful margarita.  “Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah, how to get dgrequeen to take you Xeroxed losers to Halifax.  Personally, I think you’ll all be more trouble than you’re worth on this trip, but whatever makes her happy.”

PartyAnimal started to squawk, but he was quickly silenced by Zen.

“All right, roadrat,” Zen said.  “What do you want?”

TKP sat up, eyes agleam.  “Lexx posters, a 50 lb bag of kibble, and margarita on demand.  A ride when I need one.  AND you make sure I get cheese fries every Friday in the Lexx Bar.  They’ve been mighty remiss in that lately.”

“Listen, you moth eaten little pile of fur.  I know what you’re up to.  You want to go on this trip yourself, and the only way you can go is if we go too.”

TKP shrugged and lay back.  “And a bowl of Rocky Road every day.  Take it or leave it.”

Zen sighed and looked at the other two, lifting his eyebrows.  PartyAnimal tightened his mouth and nodded.  MyKai dropped his gaze, thought, and nodded once.

“Deal,” Zen said.  “Now what’s your plan?”
 
 
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 7
 

“dgrequeen,” TKP said seriously, flopped on her belly on the bed, chin propped on her paws, while dgrequeen sat in front of her mirror, judiciously trying to apply makeup with shaky hands.

“What now, possum?”  dgre squinched up her eyes, enduring the mother of all hangovers.

“You love your clones, don’t you?”

“At the moment, no.”

TKP nodded sagely.  “Well, I can understand that certainly, but you do have moments when you at least like them a little?”

Silence.

TKP frowned.  “dgrequeen?”

“I’m trying to remember.”

“Ah.  Well, the only reason I ask is --- have you thought about what you’re ggoing to do while you’re in Halifax?”

dgre smiled at herself in the mirror, and winced at the pain that shot through her facial muscles.  “I’m going to have fun.  Uh huh.”

“No, I mean… have you really thought about going up there all by your lonesome self?  Not that you won’t be perfectly happy tooling around with all the other Lexxians and all, but remember, a lot of them are going to have their clones along.  And they’ll be going back to their rooms with those clones, while you….”

dgre sighed.  “I’ve already made up my mind to take them, possum.  And you too.”

“You have?”  TKP squealed and jumped to her feet, hopping up and down on the bed.  dgre closed her eyes and put her hands to her temples.  

“Yes.  If I don’t, all of you will make my life miserable for weeks afterwards with the crying and the pouting and sulking.  I just wanted to make them suffer a little more for trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  AND for getting me drunk.”

“Looked to me like you didn’t need any help,” TKP muttered.

“What?”

“I---I---I said, it’s going to be such a wonderful trip!”  TKP grew serious.  “Just one thing, though.”

“Anything.  As long as I can have peace and quiet.”

“Well… I’d really appreciate it if you’d… you know… let them think I talked you into it?”

dgrequeen eyed the possum.  “And why, pray tell, would I do that?”

“Well… I kind of made a deal with them…”  TKP’s voice trailed off, and dgrequeen pressed her fingers against her temples even harder.

“I’m going to regret this.  I just know it.”
 
 
 

CT – SOME THINGS ARE INEVITABLE, Pt. 8
 

“All right.”  dgrequeen paced back in forth in front of her little family with her hands clasped behind her back, the very picture of a drill sergeant inspecting the rookies.  “This is the way it’s going to be.”

The FAAs glanced at each other nervously.  The possum fidgeted, seriously needing a guzzle of margarita, and hoping dgre wasn’t about to change her mind.  Even MyKai looked intimidated.

“I’ve had a long talk with TKP,” dgre glanced at the possum, “and much against my better judgment, I’ve decided to let you all go with me to Halifax.”

“YAAY!”  PartyAnimal hopped up and down, punching the air until Zen grabbed him by the back of the neck and made him stand still and shut up.

dgre grimly waited for him to subside, which he did, although he couldn’t stop wiggling excitedly.

“While we’re on this trip,” she said, “you will go NOWHERE without me unless I say so, you will do NOTHING unless I say to, and there will be NO arguments.  Got it?”

“Of course, my Visakha,” Zen said smoothly.  “Whatever you say.”

“Darn straight whatever I say.”  She nodded her head several times, looking very stern.  “And I’m making you responsible for keeping the possum out of trouble.  ALL of you,” she added.

The three clones looked at the possum, and she looked back at them.  Silently, the opposing camps sized up each other’s weaknesses.

“Of course,” Zen said again.  “No problem.”

dgre nodded.  “Good.  Because, I swear, if there’s even the slightest bit of trouble, I will leave you all in Canada.  I mean it."

She stomped off to the bedroom.  For a few moments, while she repacked her carry-on, she kept her ears attuned to the living room, but heard not a sound.  They were in there plotting, she imagined, but she wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of peeking.  Finally, she heard a slight noise at the door.

MyKai gazed at her from the doorway with such sad eyes, she almost couldn’t bear it.   But she refused to soften her expression and kept on packing.

“What do you want?” she said.

“I am sorry, my queen.”

“Sorry?  For what?”

“For trying to deceive you.  It was... unworthy.”

She looked at him, and he dropped his gaze, hiding behind his forelock.  Damn that thing, just when she wanted to see his eyes.  She began to smile.

“MyKai.”

He looked up.

“I think you owe me some chocolate.”  She walked over to him, and brushed the offending forelock out of the way.  “And maybe Zen and PA will sing us that song again.”

He stared at her.  And then, he, too, began to smile.