Date: 12/17/2000 
From: dgrequeen 
Thanks for the welcome back, Lexxians. I missed you guys. 

We are just back from Florida. MadBetty and I decided to go to Universal Studios this trip, as we've already done the (shudder) Disney thing, and we'd never been to Universal. However, since MyKai has never been anywhere, we did relent and take him to Epcot one day, and well... This is how the whole thing went: 

First of all, despite ghiapet's... um... skill with the Big Wheel, you've never actually been groped until you've been groped by MadBetty on an airplane. It's an experience that will never be forgotten (or forgiven). If the dead could blush, MyKai would have. We had to put him next to the window, by the way, to keep women from congregating in the aisle and chatting him up. The flight attendants got very testy at having to step over the thudders, too. 

Yes, he took the brace. He tried to hide it from me, but he set the metal detector off, and we had a lot of explaining to do. I took it away from him and let the security people duct tape it (while he grumbled and complained the whole time). Otherwise we would have had to leave it behind and there's no telling what would have happened if the wrong people got their hands on it. 

We stayed in a very nice time share called Orange Lake Resort just outside Orlando (in fact, we could see the nightly fireworks across the lake). We were pestered daily by ducks, seagulls, and sandpipers who seemed to think that opening the curtains over the patio door signaled dinnertime. MyKai loved them and insisted on feeding them chips and cookies (we all know the Kais' affinity for animals), but he pouted of course when I said he couldn't bring them in. 

We went to Universal Studios the day after we arrived. MyKai was completely confused at first. Our first ride was the Back To The Future virtual reality ride, and he simply does not comprehend virtual reality. I know now, I should have prepared him better. He kept trying to climb out of the vehicle to attack the 3D dinosaur that was supposedly menacing us. I almost killed myself trying to keep him in the seat, because that's a rough ride, despite the fact that it doesn't actually go anywhere (something I think he still doesn't believe). Same thing for the SpiderMan Ride in Islands of Adventure. He was completely unsatisfied with the laser guns. He was pretty unhappy with me, too, for not letting him wear his brace (MyKai: "mumble mumble menace grumble!" 

Anyway, Universal was very understanding and agreeable to a payment plan for several broken safety bars and the one fiberglass monster that's now missing a face. 

He loved all the roller coaster rides, though. He rode the Incredible Hulk Coaster and the Dueling Dragons roller coasters five times each, and three times on the Doctor Doom's Fear Fall. He would have kept going, but I finally made him quit. He only rode the Flying Unicorn once, though, because they had a mounted display of faery wings on the fence at the end, and I almost couldn't get him to stop screaming. He was very disappointed that we couldn't ride the Pteranodon Flyers because we weren't accompanied by a child. I had to be stern after I caught him trying to borrow other people's children. 

He also loved the water rides. After three of them, MadBetty and I were wringing water out of ourselves, but he wanted to keep riding. Luckily, for that week, I braided his hair in a single braid and skipped the bun, otherwise we'd have had a problem. 

In the Jurassic Park Discovery Center, we saw a full-sized animatronic triceratops (which he didn't like because it looked too real and made him nervous), and we watched an animatronic dinosaur hatch from an egg. I had to do some fast talking on that one to convince him that it wasn't real, and no, he couldn't have one. 

He was fascinated by the Magic Mystery Fountain, because it talked to him, but he got mad when it went off and sprayed him with water. I had to keep him from ripping the top off, and I'm sure that poor man inside (or wherever he was hidden) won't be spraying tall, pale guys with long black hair for a while. 

Also, I had to intervene when he took up with some drunken muscle-bound jackass who was pushing his girlfriend around. The drunk thought he had an easy mark in MyKai (it's that deceptively lean build, I suppose, compared to the overpumped bodybuilder type), and I guess this idiot also thought he'd impress his girlfriend. MyKai didn't break any of his bones (for which I'm grateful), but we had to hustle to the other side of the park, and I had to buy all of us bill caps and sunglasses so we could finish the day without being expelled by security. 

He was fascinated by the educational displays at Epcot, and those virtual reality rides inside the body etc. He also loved the international pavilions. It amazes him that humans are so diverse. We didn't even tell him about the other amusement parks at Disney. That's for another trip in the future, hopefully when he's had more experience and I've had several weeks of strength training. 

A couple of days, MadBetty went golfing, so MyKai and I spent time on the lake beach behind the main resort hotel. MadBetty won't take him to a golf course anymore, after that last time (let me just say that the Kais' uncanny accuracy is a hard pill to swallow for most duffers). MyKai wanted to ride a jet ski, so I let him, and for a while he was OK, zipping around on the lake while I relaxed on the beach. Then I heard people yelling and when I looked out on the lake, I saw the jet ski was floating upside down and MyKai was nowhere to be seen. There was panic among the hotel staff, even though I tried to tell them he was probably OK and would be turning up soon. Sure enough, but not soon enough (as they had already called the rescue squad), here he came, walking up the beach in his muscle shirt and swimtrunks (even though he doesn't swim, he wore them to blend in on the beach). He'd taken his hair down to let it dry, and the rescue squad busied itself with the thudders while I grabbed him and we beat a hasty retreat back to the unit. He'd fallen in, of course, and had to walk back to shore, but ended up on the wrong side and then had to walk around the lake. I didn't think I could have explained that adequately to the hotel. 

All in all, it was a very nice week, we all had a good time, and MyKai didn't cause too much damage. Thank goodness, we don't have to do this again for a year.