The Jokes Galore RIDDLE BOX Version 1.0 7/29/02 Q: What does "DNA" stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association. Q: How do you get an elderly woman to say "fuck!" ? A: Have another elderly woman yell "BINGO!" Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog. Q: What comes after 69? A: Mouthwash! Q: What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, bang, bang, clip-clop? A: An Amish drive-by shooting. Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? A. K9P. Q: What's the last thing they give Tickle-Me-Elmo just before he leaves the factory? A: Two test tickles. Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? A. Beat it we're closed. Q: What do you have when you've got a green ball in your right hand, and another green ball in your left hand? A: The Incredible Hulk's undivided attention!! Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? A: Beer nuts are a $1.25, but deer nuts are always under a buck. Q: What do you call it when you cross Raggedy Anne with the Pilsbury Doughboy? A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection Q. What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A. Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken Q. What do you call 3.1415927 vaginas? A. Hair pi Q: Did you hear about the new morning after pill for men? A: It changes their blood type. Q. What do you call a lesbian opera singer? A. A muff diva Q. If you're American when you enter the bathroom and you're American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? A. European. Q. What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A. About 25 pounds Q. What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? A. About 45 minutes Q. What happens when you cross a rooster with an owl? A. You get a cock that stays up all night. Q. Whats the difference between a snow man and a snow woman? A. Snow balls Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: Bad Golfer: "Sh*t!!" Bad Skydiver: "Sh*t!!" Q: Why do women talk so much? A: Because they have two sets of lips. Q: If two gay couples, one of fags, and one of lezbos, who would get from Atlanta to San Francisco first? A: The Lezbos, since they'd get there lickety split. Q: How do you make 2 pounds of ugly fat look attractive? A: Put a nipple on it. Q: What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A: Rollaids Q: What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter pounder with cheese Q: Why don't women ever fart? A: Because they don't shut the fuck up long enough to build up the pressure. Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get. Q:What do you do then your washing machine stops working? A: Slap her Q: What does an old woman has between her breasts that a young girl doesn't? A: A navel Q: Why did God create Adam before Eve? A: He didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam. Q: What's a lesbian's favorite food? A: a Klondike bar Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove. Q: What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Wife, Eggs, Blowjob? A: Blowjob: You can beat your meat, wife, or eggs, but you just can't beat a blowjob. Q: What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? A: Getting fingered by Captain Hook