JOKES GALORE 2
hell yeah! even more jokes!


The engineer

	A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It
was the 'craziest' thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy
himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow
the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a
secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts,
there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat
appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship,
too?" "Yes, I was," he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?" "Well, I whittled
the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and
made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, what did you use for tools?" asked
the man. "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of
the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said.
"Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter." "To be honest, I've just
been sleeping on the beach," he said. "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman
asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the
island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a
neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm
tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much, but I
call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No,
thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!" "It won't be coconut
juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina
Coladas." Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down
on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have
you always had a beard?" "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I
ended up on this island." "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the
bathroom cabinet." The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the
bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he
showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm
water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the
masterfully carved banister as he walked. "You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll
go up and slip into something more comfortable." As she did, the man continued to sip
his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned
wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds. "Tell me," she asked,
"we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I
mean. Haven't you been lonely, too? Isn't there something that you really, really miss?
Something that all men and women need? Something that would be really nice to have
right now!" "Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is something
I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just...well, it was
impossible." "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said. The man, practically
panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean... you actually figured out some way
we can CHECK OUR EMAIL HERE!!??!"


The exec

	A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he found the CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this
is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said
the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start
button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."


You know it's your last day at work when....

1) You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, 'What's this?', you realize you
just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
2) A woman comes into the store, you turn to another salesman and say, 'I waited on the
last fat ugly old broad. This one's your turn'. Your boss was standing behind you. It's his
wife.
3) While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on
his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
4) You pull into the company parking lot and notice that not only is someone's car in your
reserved parking space, but your nameplate is missing.
5) You come back from lunch and Mike Wallace as well as the entire '60 Minutes' crew
meet you at the entrance, cameras rolling.
6) You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled this week as
vacation, not last week.
7) You take a 'sick' day. The next morning the boss asks you, 'So, how was the fishing on
Rock Creek yesterday ?'.
8) You arrive early at work. Several other employees are scurrying from your work area
with boxes containing your hard won office supplies and other assorted perks.
9) You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear
is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the company's annual 'End of Year' party.


New Computer Virus's

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but complains loudly about foreign
software.
COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known but doesn't do anything. Secretly
you wish it would.
HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later;
in another directory. 
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know its guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't
prove it.
BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a
threat.
STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files reported as the same size.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This virus doesn't horse around, warns you of impending
attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus", but instead refers
to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole
thing quits.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Their is sumthing rong with yur koputer, but ewe cant figyur
outt watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless. but it makes a lot of people really
mad just thinkng about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units,
each of which does practically nothing; but all of which claim to be the most important
part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of the time
(plus or minus a 3.5% margin on error)
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up and the screen splits in half with the
same message appearing on each side. The message says that the blame for the gridlock
is caused by the other side.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: Your in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own
motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your program stops running every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy; then self destructs only to surface
at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and
shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your program can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you
a bill for $4,500.00.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly saying; "Read my docs...No New Files!" on
the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the space on your hard drive with new files, then
blames it on the Congressional Virus.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then
slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus.


Can't get enough

	A guy on a date parks his car and gets the girl in the back seat. They make love,
but the girl wants it again and the guy complies. She wants more and they do it again.
She still wants more and the guy says "Excuse me a minute, I have to relieve myself."
While out of the car he notices a man half a block away changing a flat. He asks the man
"Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've given itto her four or five times and she still
wants more. I'll change your flatif you'll take over for me." So that's what the man does
and he is just getting in the high numbers when a cop knocks on the window and shines a
light on them. The cop asks "What are you doing in there?" The guy says "I'm making
love to my wife." The cop asks "Why don't you do that at home?" The guy answers "To
tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife until you shined the light on her."


Appointments

	One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the
shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've
got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, feeling
rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his
wife again. This time he whispers is her ear, "Are you have a dentist appointment
tomorrow?"


the drunk

	A drunk is standing, pissing into a fountain in the middle of town, so a cop comes
up to him and says "Stop that and put it away!" Thedrunk shoves his dick into his pants
and does up his zip. As the cop turns to go, the drunk starts laughing. "Okay, what's so
funny?" asks the cop. "Fooled you." says the drunk "I put it away, but I didn't stop."

Leprechauns

	A man walks into a public bathroom and begins using one of the urinals. He looks
to his left and sees a very short man peeing also. Suddenly,the short man looks up at the
taller man, and the taller man is completely embarrassed about staring at the smaller
man's penis. "Sorry," says the taller man. "I'm not gay or anything, but you have the
longest penis I've ever seen, especially on a man so small!" "Well," says the Leprechaun,
"That's because I'm a Leprechaun! ALL Leprechauns have penises this size!" The taller
man says, "Incredible! I'd give anything if mine were that long." "Well, what with me
being a Leprechaun and all, I can give you your wish! If you let me take you into that stall
over there and screw you,I'll give you your wish!" "Gee," says the man, "I don't know
about that----aw hell with it, OK!"Soon, the Leprechaun is behind the taller man, just
humping away. "Say,"says the Leprechaun, "How old are you, son?" Finding it difficult to
turn with the Leprechaun humping him so ferociously, the tall man says over his
shoulder, "Uh-Uh, Thirty-two..." "Imagine that, " says the little man, "Thirty-two and still
believes in Leprechauns!"


Drunk driving 

	It seems the gentleman had over-imbibed at a party, was heading home, and was
pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line
any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it
to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important
matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him,drove
home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created
by two more state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" they asked? He admitted that he was.
"Where you pulled over last night for driving under theinfluence?" Again, the man
admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied
that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the troopers
enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the
troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside was the state troopers car.


Booze4free

	Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get some alcohol for free. They only
had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow me." said the first man. They
went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar
and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out
the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."  The second man agrees
to this and they start their rounds.When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer.
The bartender tells them, "That will be 3 dollars." The first man stands up and unzips his
fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog. "You faggots!",
screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!" They run out and go to another bar and
order drinks and when the bartenderasks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the
second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out. After the sixth bar the
second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad..", the first man exclaims. "I lost the hot dog 4 bars ago!"


I can pee

	There's a guy in a bar, it's late, and the guy and the bartender are the only ones left
in the bar. The guy pushes his empty beer glass over to the edge of the counter, walks to
the other end of the bar, and says to the bartender, "If I could pee from here, and get it in
the glass without getting any anywhere else, would you give me $50?" The bartender, not
seeing how this bet could be cheated, says, "Ok, show me." The guy than pees, and
makes it in the glass, without getting any on the counter or the floor. The bartender says,
"That's amazing! You deserve the $50!" The next day, about noon, the guy's in the bar
again, and says to the bartender, if he could do it again, but with 2 glasses side by
side,would be give him $100? The bartender agrees, and the guys pees from across the
bar and makes it in both glasses, without getting any anywhere else. Then the evening
rolls around, and the bartender sticks glasses all over the bar. He than says to the guy, "If
you can pee in all of these glass at the same time, without getting any anywhere else, I'll
give you$200"The guy says, "Sure, but I need a little time to get ready" So after a minute,
the guy comes up, and proceeds to pee everywhere at lightning speed. the bartender,
seeing that the guy has missed ever single cup,jumps up and down for joy, screaming
"GIMME MY MONEY! GIMME MY MONEY!" The guys than pays the bartender, and
says, "I don't see what you're so happy about, I just bet the guy in the corner $500 that I
could pee all over your bar, and you'd be happy about it.


Military bloopers

	"During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunkhad
made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer
barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have
endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered
apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for
target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower
branches. But when twosquirrels ran up my pant leg and I heard the bigger one say, 'Let's
eat one now and save the other until winter' ---that did it."


MORE MILITARY BLOOPERS

	It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing,
and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellows,
"THIS IS A BIRTHDAY SUIT INSPECTION!!!!!!!! I wanna see you's all formed up
outside butt naked NOW!" So, the soldier's quickly jumped out of bed, naked and
shivering, and ranoutside to form up in their three ranks. The sarge walked out and yells,
"Close up the ranks, conserve your body heat!" So they close inslightly. The captain
comes along with his swagger stick.  He goes to the first soldier and whacks him right
across the chest with it. "DID THAT HURT?" he yells. "No, Sir!" came the reply. "Why
not?" "Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!" The captain is impressed, and walks on to the
next man. He takes thestick and whacks the soldier right across the rear. "Did THAT
hurt?" "No, Sir!" "Why not? "Because I'm a U.S. Marine, Sir!" Still extremely impressed,
the captain walks to the third guy, and sees he has an enormous erection. Naturally, he
gave his target a huge WHACK with the swagger stick. "Did THAT hurt?" "No, Sir!"
"Why not?" "Because it belongs to the guy behind me, Sir!"


Chemistry final

	Introductory Chemistry has been taught at Duke for about a zillion years by
professor Bonk (really)...he has been around forever. Anyway, one year these two guys
took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms so much so that going
into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the
final, that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday),
they decided to go to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they
did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they
overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained
to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to U VA for the weekend
and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way
back and didn't have a spare and couldn't fix it for a long time and so were late getting
back to campus. Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the
following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next
day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed
each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem
which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points.
"Cool," they thought, "this is going to be easy".They then turned the page. They were
unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said only...
(95 points) Which tire?


College dayz

	On the first day of college, the dean addresses the students, pointing out some of
the rules..."The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the
male dormitory is out-of-bounds to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this
rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time
will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. ARE THERE
ANY QUESTIONS?"
To this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "HOW MUCH FOR A SEASONPASS?"


The date

	A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together
every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost
everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. .the works. Finally he
asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "But my
Mother's not looking to get laid, either."


It could be worse

	There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No
matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been
worse." One day, two deputies in the Sheriff's Office answered an emergency call at a
farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in
the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they
found the body of a man with a gun at his side. "No doubt about it," one deputy said to
the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his
wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself." "You're
right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you fifty bucks
that when the sheriff gets here, he's going to say 'it could have been worse.' " "No way."
the first deputy challenges, " How could it be worse? There are three people in this house,
and all of them have been shot to death. It couldn't be worse.You're on." About that time,
the old sheriff arrived at the scene. He walked into the bedroom and saw the two nude
bodies. He then walked into the living room and saw the man on the floor with the gun by
his side. "No doubt about it," the sheriff said, shaking his head. "It was adouble murder
and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot
them both. Then he shot himself." After hesitating for a moment, the old sheriff looked
his deputies squarely in the eyes. "But, you know," he said, "It could have been worse."
The deputy who had lost the bet jumped up and shouted, "Sheriff, how could it have been
worse? There are three people in this farmhouse,and all three of them are dead. It
couldn't have been worse." "Yes it could," the sheriff retorted. "You see that guy there on
the floor? If he had come home yesterday, that would be me in there in that bed!"


Hillbillies

	A Traveling salesman stops at a hillbilly farmhouse to sell some wares. While he's
there a fierce storm comes up, and the farmer invites him to spend the night. However, as
there wasn't a spare bedroom, the salesman would have to sleep in the same room as the
farmer's daughter--on the condition that if any hanky-panky went on and the daughter got
pregnant, the salesman would have to marry her. The salesman eyes the daughter, who
has the body of a goddess but has a face from hell. So it's obvious that he figures out that
he's being set up for a shotgun wedding. But he didn't want to brave the night's storm, so
he agreed to the farmer's terms. The next morning, the family is sitting around the
breakfast table.The father asks the daughter, "Did he do it last night, girl?" "Sure did, Pa."
she replies. "Excellent!" says the father. "If it's a boy, we'll call him Johnny Ray." "And if
it's a girl," says the mother, "we'll call her Martha Ann." About that time the salesman
came into the room witha big smile on his face. "Well," he says holding up a condom, "if
the little bastard gets out of this,we'll call him Houdini."


Final Exams

	It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local
university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students,
having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam
booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam
that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student
would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for
an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated
sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied the student. He then
took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and
the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued
writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his
desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam
booklets already there."No you don't," the professor demands, "I'm not going to accept
that. It's late." The student began to look incredulous and angry. Then he says, "Do you
know WHO I am?" "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of
sarcasm in his voice. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again."No, and I
don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority. "ARE YOU THAT SURE
THAT YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" then the professor screams, "NO, I DON'T KNOW
WHO THE HELL YOU ARE, AND TO TELL THE TRUTH, I CLEARLY DON'T GIVE
A FLYING FUCK!" "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of
completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.


Extra Credit

	This little 13 year-old boy comes home from school and his mom asks how his
day was. He replies, "I had sex with my teacher today." "Oh my god! You get to your
room! Wait till your father comes home!!!" says the mom. A  while later the father comes
home and the mom says, "Go up to your son's room and talk to him. he's been really bad
today." Dad goes up to the son's room and asks why mom is so mad. "I told her I hadsex
with my teacher today," replied the boy."Allright! That's my boy!", says dad. "Ya know
son, women just don't think like men. But I'm proud of you. What are you now, about
thirteen, right?Wow. That's my son! Ya know what? I'm so proud of you I'm gonna take
you out and buy you that new shiny bike you've been wanting!"So the dad and his son go
out and buy the nicest, reddest, shiniest bike inthe whole town. "You gonna ride it home
son?" asks dad.The boy replied, "Nah, my ass is still sore."


Three Nots

	An old man, vacationing in Las Vegas, decides to visit a brothel, as ithas been a
long time since he's had any. After paying the madam, he picks out a cute little blonde
girl, and they go upstairs. After the preliminaries, he climbs on and starts humping away,
and hollers out, "How am I doing, honey?" She replies, "About three nots." He says,
"Three knots? What does that mean?" She says, "You're not in, you're not hard, and you're
not getting your money back!"


We got plans

	A little girl says, "Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?" "Why sure you can," her
grandfather replied. As she is sitting on granddad's lap she says, "Grandpa, can you make
a sound like a frog?" "A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a
frog. But not right now," Then girl says, "Grandpa, will you please MAKE a sound like a
frog?" Perplexed, her grand dad says, "Sweetheart, why do you want me to make a sound
like a frog?" The little girl replies, "Cause Grandma said that when you croak, we're
going to Hawaii!"


Leroy's homework

	My homeboy Leroy, is a son of a preacher man. Leroy is an 18 year old ninth
grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system. One
day, Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the
following vocabulary words in a sentence. Here's what he wrote.
1.HOTEL- I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.
2.RECTUM- I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.
3.DISAPPOINTMENT- My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they
gonna send me back to the big house.
4.FORECLOSE- If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORCLOSE.
5.CATACOMB- Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that
CATACOMB.
6.PENIS- I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.
7.ISRAEL- Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No,
ISRAEL.
8.UNDERMINE- There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment UNDERMINE.
9.TRIPOLI- I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't find no TRIPOLI.
10.STAIN- My mother-in-law axed if I was STAIN for dinner again.
11.SELDOM- My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game, so I SELDOM.
12.ODYSSEY- I told my bro, you ODYSSEY the tits on this hoe.
13.HORDE- My sister got into trouble because she HORDE around in school.
14.INCOME- I just got in bed wit dis hoe and INCOME my wife.
15.HONOR- At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be HONOR first?
16.FORTIFY- I axed da hoe how much? And she say FORTIFY.

Mr Baldwin's Class
	Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the
body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the
conditions. "Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate
question, and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down,
red-faced."Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin "The pupil of the eye,
under dark conditions," said Susan. "Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to
you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third,
boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"