Every once in awhile I'll remember something that I did as a child. Or something that was done to me, by my father or my brother or my cousin. And it seemed like it happened to another person a century ago. I can't even remember if what I remember ever really happened. You can't live your life relying on the perceptions of a little boy....... on the echos of some memory. You gotta let all that shit go. You gotta start fresh. Every single day you have got to start again.
Obituaries. A man or a woman lives their entire life. They work and love and dream and laugh and cry. Then they die. And then somebody, who they don�t even know, who�s never met them once, boils their entire life down to a paragraph or two in a local newspaper. And that�s only if they�ve achieved something some editor thinks is important. Now, if they�re real movers and shakers, they may get two columns. Maybe they get a photo from 1974. And if they�ve achieved nothing, they get buried at the bottom of the page or ignored completely.
I'm not saying drugs are good. But when your past is past and your present SUCKS and your future holds nothing but broken promises and dead dreams, well, the drugs will kill the pain. Listen up America! You ain't never going to get rid of drugs until you can cure pain.
Remember when your high school history teacher said that the course of human events changes 'cause of the deeds of great men. Well, the bitch was lying. Fuck Caesar, fuck Lincoln, fuck Mahatma Gandhi. The world keeps moving cause of you and me, the anonymous. Revolutions get going cause there ain't enough bread. Wars happen over a game of checkers.
When you're playing poker, you can't let anyone else at the table know which cards you have, what you're feeling, what you're thinking. You gotta develop a game face. In life, we wear our game face all day. And, into the night. You wear your game face so much that when you look in the mirror, you're not sure which face you're shaving.
Mari
She leaves her footprints in his garden of love that no one else has yet to set foot
in. They go on this journey into space leaving everything behind. It�s home to them now.
Drinking wine and indulging in this lust takes over their days. Soon the years go by and
yet to them it feels like everytime they meet its like the first time they set eyes on
eachother. All day and night they reach their world. Blue butterflies take them to the gods
and red flowers explode in the sky revealing purple stars that each share a moment on
their visit. One wish they kept thats set in stone is to never leave this cloud where they can
watch the sunrise from the top of a rainbow.
His mentality changed to a twisted misconception. This delusion came about to
end this dream they share. Lies poured out on her table of questions. Copulating
decreased. The blue butterflies changed to green butterflies and one day they awoke
forgetting the path to the gods. Red flowers were no longer red but pink exploding orange
stars that forgot the memories stored of these two beings. She doesn�t recognize the
meaning of all this. Confusion leads her to tears. These teardrops fall in his garden of love
killing the flowers that once was fond of her and now its all forgotten.
He grabs the blade, sharpened to a fine point. Night falls. She sleeps. She dreams.
He follows the sound of her heartbeat and enters the room. He waits for the precise
moment getting closer and closer. At this point he�s right above her staring straight into
her closed eyes. He gives her a single kiss making her stir in her sleep. Wating impatienlty
he kisses her one last time. She wakes up to a single blow going straight through her
heart. The last sight were his blue ocean like eyes. That picture is glued to her soul as she
leaves for yet another journey. Traveling through this golden tunnel she reaches the moon.
This is now her home. Evey minute will be spent watching over the mortal world through
a well that holds life and teaches her the tricks of that other world. She searches to borrow
a life. Revenge seems like a good idea.
She takes over the body of a beautiful woman taking her to the enemy. They meet.
Soon after that they wine and dine and he takes her out to space. What feelings emerge as
he enters her body. She falls for him all over again forgetting the pain he put her through.
Returning to reality she walks to the bathroom. As she opens the door she finds a dead
body in the bathtub. How sad to see ones old belongings knowing you can never get them
back. Without thinking this hand she borrowed reached for the blade running out of the
room and stepping into his presence. His first blow went to the arm in which he used to
kill her. The next blow went to his manhood and the last blow went through his heart. She
left this body and when she returned home her blue eyed lover was sitting in her thrown.
�Get out of my life,� she told him expecting only but the worse. �I�m leaving this place
because you live in it.
Revenge turned out to have no effect on either of them. She spends her days
wondering what if she would�ve done something different. In the end no one won and
what started out as lovers faded into memories that get her mind sick and fury with anger.
For every wrong a person has done, life itself will take care of revenge. For everyone else
lets be worry free. Lifes too short lets live the moment while it lasts.
*This Prose above was written by a close friend of mine. Much Love & Respect Baby Gurl!*
Mari
My False Dream of Affection
My dream is not as simple as I anticipated. You see I always wanted to live in a dream where I can hold the woman I love and whisper nothing but endless words of affection. To hold her oh so tight and never let go as if the world its self is going to dissolve into a puddle of Nothingness. But you see it will never happen. Life always seems to play with my mind. Many times I tired to find Love but only found long hallways of locked doors and dead ends. It seems no matter what I do, No matter what stunts I pull, No matter how hard I try love always seems to lead me down a long and narrow road of hardships and ordeals. Many of those times it seems that we connect even for a short enough moment and all of a sudden a new picture comes into sight and the doors slams shut leaving me out in the cold. Its been three long and painful years since my last relationship. Three very long years I've tried! I've tried so hard and yet love seems to find this funny. People take my kindness for weakness. Many of those times they make me feel insecure about my self and the visions on how love treats me. But you see I tried to pull my self out of the gutter of my incur-abilities but still I just get beaten down into the ground by those who I once called friends. I extended my hand in kindness but in return I get pain and suffering. Is it part of life? Is it a plan to suffer in order to find the disease that is love? I sure hope it is Because I have plenty of scars and tattooed images framed in the back of my mind to remind me that love is the only true thing that I have left to give. In all my years of searching for my true and endless love I have only found Dark Alleys filled with Sorrow and Despair. Kindness for weakness, My life story! You must be strong in this cold and heartless world to survive the tender ways of life. But still I have nothing more than dedication to the feeling that some call love. For some its a Reality! A way to live your hopes and possibilities with someone whom you think is perfect in your own vision. But for me and other its nothing more than a Dream because I know I have tried! I've tried for three long fucking years! I've sat there and watched from the distance as friends all gather in celebration of there own romantic finds. Leaving me to out in the cold slowly decaying from within counting down the days of another cold year. And but of course me whispering into the shadows of the alleys only to find echoes of self pity! for three long years I've sat and watched friends come and go! But my loneliness has stayed with me from since the day of my love lost! My emptiness will eat me up slowly for as long as it takes until I brake down and try to remember the memories and still frames of the one thing I once cherished, Love! But its seems Im still alone left only to find Clouds of despair and emptiness. Kindness for weakness? I think im far past that! Maybe I've forgotten how to love? Maybe thats why I am alone to this very day .....
Land of the What?
As time slowly ticks away we sit and gather watching the desert stars bloom in the night. Like desert warriors� fresh from the pool of doom. They march toward the fiery flames of the desert�s own never ending battle for reason. Silently treading into the valley of the unknown filling their flasks and chambers with memories of a once peaceful nation. With death in one hand and righteousness in other no one really knows what peace is because they never had it! Deathly footsteps with bleeding colors of the Red, White, & Blue spreading its plague of liberal disorder. Sending empty and misguiding pamphlets to a nation of hollow politics. Surrounding its self with its own corroding society blaming other nations for its poverty. But we watch from a far like shadow soldiers disappearing into the morning�s mist. Passing judgement on anyone whom does not follow the beliefs our own broken society. Together we sang songs of chemical warfare. Sitting together around the fires of our own righteous Armageddon. Our bloodied wings are almost dry and free. Walking beyond the walls of those beyond the dead. What ever happened to the country that used to draw nice little pictures of peace and of loving ways? Time is what happened, but as life goes by we watch the colors run. Forming into a puddle dissolution blinding those have seen visions of mass confusion. How many visions must one prophet see before he is blinded by the sinful ways of this country we call the land of the free.
