Hey guess what? There's a Starbucks opening up right next door to you! How refreshing. I can hardly wait. Have you ever wondered what goes into a cup of Starbucks coffee that makes it worth 4 times the price of a terrestial cup of coffee? What's going on here? The best thing is, we actually fall for it! Four bucks for a dribble of espresso that instantly vanishes if you breathe at it. Five bucks for a dirty mug of foam sprinkled with a dash of milk and coffee. And six bucks for a cup of shaved ice. Oh and yes, with whipped cream please. So I can get fat and ripped-off at the same time. And Tall, Grande... Why can't the sizes have normal names? It's small, medium, large! Why do they insist on calling something which is small, 'tall'? I can understand if they use that concept for condoms. Large, King, Elephant size... But coffee? If anything, Starbucks is a Grande rip-off! And "Grahn-day"... as if anyone really knows how to pronounce it properly. It seems the staff are in disagreement as well, the same way they always manage to mangle up your name. Maybe next time you should try "your mother's got a fat ass." Maybe then they would pay attention. And why does Starbucks and Burger King have to coexist in so many places? Think Orchard Rd, Beach Road, Old Market Street... Starbucks is giving Burger King a run for its money with its delicious pastries and cakes! But it makes sense... Mould is much tastier than grease. Then again, who am I to rant on about Starbucks? They are the big-timers. Soon as one of their cogs in their big, coffee machine reads this, their barristas will come running down with writs, pounding on my door. They'll force me out of this space and set up thought-provoking jingles like "You're a StarMug!" But I won't be around will I? I'll be off at some neighbourhood coffeeshop having my kopi-O.
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