rant

One thing about knights, nobody ever knew if they truly existed. And I�m not just talking about your average horse galloping, heavily armoured, get damsels tingling with excitement in their nether regions kind. I�m talking about the Knights of Camelot. The kind of knights who had over the generations came to personify for common folks like us values such as chivalry, kindness, respectfulness, trustworthiness, and in every aspect, all kinds of goodness. Knights like Lancelot, Ocelot and Mordred (okay, maybe not) to name a few. Even if they really existed, were they really so hell bent on protecting the helpless and so trustworthy and kind and respectful? Sir Lancelot did try to bed King Arthur�s wife though that was never confirmed for the record. We�d all read stories about their goodness but did they truly exist?

It really gets you wondering sometimes.

Just as it gets you wondering sometimes whether the similar kindness, respectfulness, trustworthiness and tolerance bandied about in traditional Asian values truly existed� in Singapore anyway. Because, at times, it's hard to believe that they really did and that they were truly as good as they were made up to be. Did Singaporeans really helped the blind or old across busy roads? Did they really gave chase to snatchthieves even though the victim was not some pretty, nubile lady? Did they really cleared their pockets of loose change when they saw the disabled on the roadside playing some cheap rendition of Backstreet Boys? That said, if such legendary Asian goodness really did exist in Singapore why was it that we hardly witness such acts anymore?

But why is P.Y onto knights, goodness and such chimerical nonsense? I can hear you ask. Well, it just have this tenuous link to my experience in taking the MRT. Light dawning onto you guys? You do wonder sometimes, especially during the peak hours when you take the MRT if all the commuters are really what they seem. Honest civilians making a living, going about a daily routine using the MRT as a mode of transport. Or if they are diabolical, violent, hardy WWII veterans in disguise.

Have you ever noticed this? How each time an MRT pulls up at a station, hordes of bodies would be pressed against the doors on both sides. Much like a classic pre-battle scene with the commuters on both sides squaring up each other. I'm sure you know what I mean if you've watched enough crap Hollywood war movies like I do. Three, to be exact but that's a different story, a different rant.

Mind you, I�ve been through this before... from the moment the door hisses open, pandemonium started breaking loose, arrows raining down, you keep your head low, shields up to protect yourself, trying to fight your way out, the cavalries charge in, forcing you backwards, there�s shouting and screaming, dead bodies lay mangled all over the floor, and just as it suddenly began, it ended; leaving me trapped inside. Maybe I�m blowing it up a bit but its true! Go on...have a laugh, you piss-taking shower of bastards.

�Hee hee, PY�s a dickhead who doesn�t know when to come out of the rain. Couldn�t even get down at the right station and now he�s moaning about it.� I must be getting old because if I was years younger and reckless as I was before, I would have whipped out my pecker in such situations and released my own acid� uuhh I mean piss and walked my way out. Easy.

While we are on the subject on MRT, just what is it with the guys who revamped the trains and the system? What�s with the irksome flying fart horns just before the door closes? What was wrong with the good o� doorbell chime which didn�t irritate anyone? And who was the genius who took away MRT seats to provide more standing space? Shouldn�t it be the other way round? Why did they take away the efficient, reliable support poles and replace it with three pronged in the middle ugly looking poles that doesn�t look out of place in a torture chamber? So more generals could gather together and discuss strategies for the battle in the next stop? And why must they keep telling us where the train will be terminating at every station nowadays.

Come Yishun, �This train will end at Jurong East.'

Come Sembawang, �This train will end at Jurong East.'

Come Woodlands, �This train will end at Jurong East.'

And it drones on and on like a friggin� broken record. What�s with Jurong East? Why do they keep repeating it? Is it a warning telling us that there's a time bomb onboard and that the train will literally terminate at Jurong East? Because if that's the case then I'm about ready to fight the battle of my life to get out now. All in all, you do get the picture that our 'efficient' MRT system needs serious rethinking and working.

�Oh dear, what have I gone and said?�

Anyway cheers, and watch this space for the next rant.