Day Saga -P.Y
Much like for 'Star Wars'. Or 'Crocodile Dundee' (eh?). Never mind. I'm not going to rant about a shower of twatty Yanks today.
One thing though. Has anyone -besides me- suspected by now that Tolkien�s actually clairvoyant? Speaking of which, I have an ICQ friend in London who�s into all those mystical shite -don�t laugh!- and she recently discovered this psychic who claimed to be able to tell the future by holding on to ladies' tits. But she walked past his shopfront one day and found a sign saying,
�Clairvoyant sessions stopped for the week due to unforeseen circumstances.�
It�s bloody funny and what a fraud but we won�t say the same about old sport Tolkien. He�s the real visionary though he never really walked about in gypsy clothes rambling about the end of the world or other equally depressing stuff that makes you want to commit suicide. He put his foretelling in a big book, divided it into three parts and made a pile out of it. Now that�s a true visionary.
But back to his predictions again. Don�t you think, besides namesake, present day larger-than-life Middle East does take after Tolkien's fictitious world Middle Earth? That old git must had felt it in his bones or had epileptic visions or whatever and translated it into his bestseller. Take a look at the daily papers. The evidence are all there.
Middle Earth had the devil Sauron who wanted to rule them all.
Middle East had and still have the evil Saddam who wanted to rule Kuwait.
Dwarves and Elves were always fighting in Middle Earth.
Palestinians and Israelis are always bombing the pants off each other in Middle East.
Middle Earth had Gandulf the Gray.
Middle East have Arafat the Gray. Or the Senile to some of you.
There was Saruman who was actually a terrifying sorcerer with minions of orcs, trolls and other ugly looking denizens.
Enter Osama the billionaire terroist with his Al-Quaeda network of equally ugly looking citizens.
Mordor was the mountainous dwelling where wickedness creeps.
Tora Bora hide from the world those gutless creeps.
Oh and there were the beautiful Elven queen and princess too.
Umm, give me time. I'll think of something to prove my point...
Meanwhile, what about that beautiful verse from the oracle in Tolkien's world?
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
This was most recently found hastily scrawled across one of the walls along the dusty streets of Arabia.
Three Pigs for the hungry wolf with his rancid breath,
Seven deprived dwarves eyeing demure Snow White's breasts,
Nine stories in P.Y's tales for immoral men,
One of them for you all before they all get banned
In Tora Bora where those vile pigs hide.
One fuckwit to sodomise them all, one fuckwit to foul them,
One fuckwit to circumcise them all and in the darkness with turbans bind them
In Tora Bora where those vile pigs hide.
Now I didn�t cook that up and let nobody tell you otherwise. Its a wacky, wacky world. Next thing we'd discover is how ugly Singaporeans resemble those dark minions. Oh everyone knows that one already.
Its just not bloody funny.