bigredeye

Call me a cynic but one viewing of the movie was enough to have me retching over the glaringly obvious loopholes in the plot and the irritating bits the dialogue contained.
I have some serious questions I want answering from Steven Soderberg(best director '00, incidentally). Why's Brad Pitt always chomping on some stuff in every scene? Ice cream, burger, prawn cocktail, nacho chips... It's like he's saying, ' Hey, look at me. Fuckin' glutton and yet with a cutting figure to boot. Way hey!' Then the appearance of Julia Roberts. Why did she walk like she's got a dildo wedged right up her ass and she's trying to keep it there? I'm bloody serious, go take a look yourself! And not content with turning Julia Roberts into a male accessory, the movie makes her an ugly one, photographing her from angles that make her lips look like a hotdog bun that�s floating in midair.
Then there is the dialogue. Like the 'You're either in or out. Right now.' bit. Yeah, some dodgy looking guy picks your wallet, gets you to meet him in some dodgy pub, asks you to fly to Las Vegas with some dodgy plan and poses you the dodgy line,'You're either in or out. Right now.' and chances are you'll take the job offer. No questions asked.
And my favourite bit. Brad Pitt, feeling reticent about the whole affair asks Clooney for a good reason to pull off the heist.
'The house always wins. Because in the long run, if you play the same bet at the same odds, the house always takes you. Unless the perfect hand comes along and you bet big. And take the house.'
Eh? What the hell was that? I think I may have misheard the Yankee twat. Biggest casino heist in history with a bonanza of more than US$150m not enough to convince Brad Pitt but some crap sentence by a crook who was caught, and convicted before does the trick? Take away Clooney's charm in the show, get some silly hilly billy to reiterate the same lines. Get Bryan Wong of City Beat to do it. See how ass it'll make him look.
Somehow, everything these 11 guys need for this heist is miraculously easy to get. Want to cut off Las Vegas' electricity supply for 30 sec? Just go to a nearby laboratory, walk in, and steal the huge gadget that will do the job. Nobody bothers to even chase down your big white van. Maybe I'm the only guy not getting it. Maybe Hollywood is bringing realism to impossibly, sophisticated heights that I don't quite follow. You never know. What about them fooling the casino's security staff with tricks even a dog wouldn't fall for. Floating a balloon to block the CCTV camera. Of course the man guarding the restricted area will be called into action to investigate because all the other security staff who are standing around, looking pretty beside jackpot machines have more important things to do. And our villain. Introduced to us from the start as a formidable, mean, calculative, ruthless, smart machine. It still doesn't matter because eventually he's still going to cock up real bad and have the all important card-key to the underground vault pulled by an amateur pickpocket(Matt Damon) whose daily practice includes lifting off old men in trains. And yes, he's the smarty pants mentioned above who got his own wallet pulled and fell for the 'You are either in or out , right now' flying shit.
And the reason Roberts dumps Garcia and returns to the embrace of Clooney? Oh please! Could this have been any more trite, or hastily written, mess of an ending?
Kind of sums up the whole show for me, though I reckon I can squeeze in more slate. But I'll leave one or two surprises unturned for when you actually watch the show. Again, you have been warned!