MD'S TWENTY FIRST SPEECH

MEMORIAL LECTURE - PALISADE HOTEL, MILLER'S POINT, SYDNEY
(some details may be different due to the divergence from written to said and impromptu recitations)

As you can tell, we have spent many hours milling over the life of our friend, Mason Dow. And when the ideas came, we jotted them down on this luxurious serviette. Some of us came to know Mason in year nine, where we approached him with awe, for he lived on that "jail thing in the middle of the harbour."

In year ten during the camp at the Royal National Park, Mason awoke to the sounds of birds singing and while exiting his tent, was admiring the view of what he thought was a bush pig, which was a couple of kilometres away. He then saw the bush pig squat, and from that far a distance, the pig did its business. As the animal approached the tent area, Mason realised it was no bush pig... it was MISS MANNING. The severe psychological trauma that this event had on him forever forced him to two trends that would forever mark his life:

1. An even sharper wit and sense of humour. It was as though, this skill was further honed in order to fully blot out the ordeal. The crazy antics that we have come to love got better.

2. Placing objects in sinks. After the camp, a pair of school socks were found in the toilet sinks. The initials M.D. identified the culprit, who was dealt with swiftly by Mason's favourite teacher, Mr Millar.

Mason's sharp wit and humour were exercised a number of ways. One of my memories of this is the classic impromptu speech he gave in year ten english on "supermarkets". He began to list all the different things you'd find in supermarkets, and as he listed, the class burst into fits of laughter, because the list contained things you wouldn't normally find in supermarkets. What was even more amazing was that in spite of all the laughter, Mason kept a straight face throughout. The class had no chance but not to laugh as Mason had us in the palm of his hands from the beginning when he said: "Good Morning Mr Brennan and Pupils", pointing to his own pupils. Mr Brennan, the arch-type conservative, twenty five years of teaching at St Mary's blotting out any sense of humour, didn't understand the genius of the speech and gave it a ridiculously low mark (0 or 1 out of 10), saying that he didn't like it when people mucked about with their speaking. But Mason had the last laugh, outlasting Mr Brennan, who left the school after a lifetime of abusing chalk.

The rest of us were introduced to the skinny dude in year eleven. The rebel with a cause became popular, no doubt aided by the special attention he paid to Mr Humphries in the two last years of school. Brett recalled the time when Mason, who had dropped physics, learned that the class was going on a trip to Australia's Wonderland, was able to convince the science staff that yes, he had not really dropped the subject. The plan worked with spectacular success as Mason spent a day 'analysing the rides'. What was so remarkable about this little shifty plan was that the skinny dude had gotten on Mr Humphries' bad books due to an earlier incident that Greg recalls vividly. In class one day, some event had transpired, and Mason feeling a little unsettled, through a paper projectile - the projectile landed on the head of Mr Humphries, who was shocked at this act of terrorism. Humphries vowed that no one would leave until the culprit had owned up. Eventually, Mason owned up to his vicious crime. Of course, Mason had the last laugh with Mr Humphries as a whole group of us stood looking at the previous years YEAR 12 photo - Mr Humphries socks were not all the way up and as we were pointing and laughing, Mr Humphries happenned to walk past - he must've known who we were laughing at.

It has been a privelege to know Mason for all these years and I'm looking forward to many more.

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Delivered on 13-12-1998.