"SHE'S HOT"
Marion's passionate dance with Fat-o-Gram
Darren Marion's 21st birthday family party was set alight by the arrival of one of his old girlfriends, a 185 kilo woman who Darren gave his "back door" key to late last year. Scores of children as young as three years old and triple that number in adults were repulsed by this flagrant display of nudity... however, Darren's initial reaction was "whoa mama... she's darn hot". Darren even proceeded to pull out a paper from within the woman's underwear - and he was shocked to learn that the paper revealed the woman would never see him again. The ex-girlfriend/fat-o-gram was one hour late due to four flat tyres on the way in (as you can imagine - a woman of that caliber coupled with driving on the smooth surface of Canterbury Road). She was also hampered by a traffic jam at the McDonald's drive through - she eats five big macs to "beef up" before any appearance. Darren commented after the impassioned dance that she was so lucky to have him as her subject that she "knocked on wood" while ontop of him.
I love yous all
Before the arrival of Darren's fat ol' flame, the speech was taking a serious turn towards a previous twenty first as Darren Marion copied an AV article in his conclusion by quoting Jeff Fenech's "I love yous all" speech. The speech itself was measured and precise, prepared but off the cuff. He thanked everyone in the room because they "meant so much" to him and the violin music queued in before the reporters could hear the rest. One of Darren's "cuzzes" gave a moving tribute to Darren. Proclaiming Darren as "almost like a brother", he recounted stories of how they shared the same bed, how they re-enacted a star wars laser fight with their penises whilst going to the toilet together, and how they frolicked around the countryside getting high on each others farts. Such heart warming stories resulted in a queue outside the toilets. Other stories eminating about Marion's life include the time he was caught naked in bed by his mother and how his father caught him fertilising the front lawn. The over-all picture that one got of Darren really spoke for itself after these recitations.
Food for all
But the ultimate highlight of the night, was the expansive
buffet that the Marion family had painstakingly prepared. It was
a mix of the best of Mauritian cuisine and modern Australian
dining. The entrés consisted of: * lettuce,
tomato and radishes topped with an olive oil and fig mixed
dressing, * scallops fried in fig oil served with a figflour
dressing, * prawn cutlets doused with fig-nog, * fig leaf
tortillas filled with rice, minced meat and fig seeds, * soup of
the day - creme de la fig.
Main meals were: * fig pamajama, * corn-fed
chicken breast with bacon, fig dressing and swiss cheese, * Roast
beef smothered in a rich fig and red wine sauce, * fig stew, *
Tandoori fig, * Creamy southern cross potatoes, sliced to
perfection and smothered in mauritian herbs, served with fried
fig skin chip dip, * Dory fillets doused in volatile south
mauritian fig oil, fried and served on fire.
The dessert menu was superb: * fig sorbet, *
camembert cheese aged and dipped in fig juice, * chocolate
ecstasy mousse with fig swirl, and * creme figarel.
All set for Friday
As one can clearly see, there's a lot to top for this Friday's joint twenty-first of Dazza and Yakka. While the cuisine is surely not to be at the heights of the family party, there is hope that it will similarly "go-off". One person was so overwhelmed by seeing the 185 kilogram woman an all fours that he yelled out Brandonesquely: "martha! martha! martha!" Such simalat spontaneity will no doubt make Friday's even memorable. The Australian Voice will continue to cover the stories that matter and soon a special tribute to the party-boy will be online.