In a move that has shocked the nation, the Ellesmere twins, Greg and Paul Dobson have denied any involvement in the activities in the terrorisation of Kingsgrove. In a statement made at a press conference, Greg Dobson claims:

"When they started breaking into those houses, we bolted faster than a chicken hit by lightning. We were scared shitless mate... those idiots are a bunch of freaks."

However friends of the pair, who authorities claim are as close to "evil incarnate", paint quite a different picture. One person says:

"ya know, they were in on it from the start. They reckon they were bein' kewl an' all by bein' presen' with us. We started bashin' windows down, and while they would have seemed shitscared to most observers, I think that's how they normally look."

Paul Dobson, dubbed "the evil one", has also denied any involvement in the activities. He claims that he is a "boring accountant" whose role models are those people in the "H & R Block Advertisements". This particular portrait is backed up by many of his colleagues who know him from his workplace:

"yeah mayte, Paul is a bit of a workaholic. You know, when he has a drink after work on Fridays, he goes all funny... After a scooner he mught start speaking to her Majesty, telling her he'll rescue her from the ATO and the Royal Australian Mint as soon as he does all those tax returns. And you should see him after two drinks. He gets all ambitious and starts sayin 'Hang on Douglas Mawson, I'm gonna do a mercy mission to save you from those greedy bastards at the tax office. I don't care if we have to take evasive action, that's why I'm a fucking accountant.' The funny thing is, he aint really an accountant yet and he's totally obsessed to the point of speaking to the various currency depending on how much courage the alky gives him. It also shows how he likes to stick with the past referring to Mr Mawson rather than the newbies. I reckon people should watch out for this bloke. The UNABOMBER would look like Bambi compared to what Paul is capable of when he gets pissed with the ATO. Needless to say, that's why his clients like him so much."

Most agree that it was Paul who pushed Greg into being involved in the criminal activity, but that once Greg started, he didn't want to stop:

"You should've seen the look on Greg's face. It was like he was possessed. The way he threw those bricks into the windows. The way he swore at those innocent five year olds. The way he belted that 84 year old pensioner with a baseball bat and then spat on her guide dog. I mean, it was nothing short of maniacal. And all of it was due to his evil brother's influence."

Apparently Paul Dobson, after committing the illegal acts with his brother, and also being the calculating one (pun intended), then loudly proclaimed (after sexually assaulting an unidentified object) "I'm leaving. You guys could get into a lot of trouble for this." Hence they exonerated themselves from any responsibility, as witnesses, who heard them (but did not see them in their acts of devastation) would be able to testify to their advantage at any subsequent trial. This has outraged many community leaders. Alan Jones said on his popular breakfast show:

"Not since paedophiles have roamed the back doors of toilets in England has their been a need to legislate against repeat offenders like the Dobsons. They are a cowardly bunch who pretend to be decent, honest, conservative voters. Well, let me tell you, not all conservative voters are deviants on the inside. Just because we proclaim ideals that are against our own deviant and hypocritical ambitions, doesn't mean we contradict them... cause after all, we decide what the law should be, and anyway, we can afford the lawyers to get us out of any of those tough situations. Take me and my Lond (2UE had technical difficulties in the broadcasting of this segment)... and they reckoned they had me! What? haven't they heard of such a thing as a cover u(2UE had further technical difficulties)... hahahaha! Anyway, we need to send a clear and unambiguous message to the government that allows Koori kids to crash our car windows in open moonlight, that allows aborigines to drink in pubs, that allows all Chinese women of child bearing age to have a reason to come here as refugees and destroy the social fabric of our nation... NO MORE CRIMINALS!�

Apart from a late change of heart*** by Mr Jones, the message remained loud and clear over what to do with these dangerous criminals. We can only wonder whether the Carr Government will stop the Nightmare on Ellesmere Street twins, who have spread their evil deeds into the city of Kingsgrove and beyond. Will they be stopped before we can't walk our streets at night?

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*** Alan Jones 39 mins later: "What? The Dob Sohns aren't Asian? Well, the poor things. They obviously had good, traditionally aussie parents, but sometimes the pressures of university get a bit too much and we do things we regret. Obviously, such a good family upbringing and strong community support will help them in their plight to gain some leniency from the Carr Government. Where is the compassion Mr Carr? Sometimes, their need to be exceptions for hard working battlers."