MIFF - Give me a lot of that
The Australian Voice Sent out the resident film critic to Melbourne for a number of one day visits to Melbourne for the Melbourne International Film Festival. This culminated in a three night visit to check out the films on offer.
WEDNESDAY 24 July 2002
Is Melbourne unusual or what? I'm not talking about the weather, or the people or the wierd urban art pieces the hang off the freeway into the city (something that when Sydney tries comes off as dreary and grey as Melbourne's weather). No, I'm talking about Spruikers.
SWANSTON STREET SPRUIKERS
In most cities, when you walk past
a series of adult shops, you may find a spruiker telling you
about the latest lot of "hot chicks" in a live show
"just about to start mate." Well, walking down Swanston
Street, I went past a few "adult shops" and was not
attacked by one Spruiker. It wasn't until I got to the
"Golden Tower Cafe Bar", which is basically a takeaway
kebab shop with chairs, that I was accosted to sample the goods.
And it didn't end there, two shops down and it was the Swanston
Walk Cafe that also had intimidating men trying to force me in
for a quick Kebab.
Anyway, the reason why I'm here is that
your trusted paper, the paper that more Australians turn to for
their opinions to be formed for them, has flown me over to
Melbourne - in ECONOMY class mind you - on the airline that
Australians still call their own (not for long if that 50% govt
cap is dropped). My brief today was to get in-get out of
Melbourne, watch two films at the festival and make comparisons
to the Sydney Film Festival. Well, from the two films I've seen
today, I can say that I'm very excited (more than Big Kezza)
about what Melbourne is doing. Melbourne seems to have the
screenings very well organised. I mean in the eminent stupidity
of the Sydney Festival, sessions in the two cinemas aren't
synchronised. This meant that if you had two films in two
different cinemas you couldn't go and see both of them because of
clashing times. In Melbourne, the cinemas are very close to each
other, there are four locations playing films, and the movies are
in sync - so you can watch a 2pm, 4pm, 6pm session in three
different locations without having to race over from one place to
another. The two films I saw were real festival type films. They
were both documentaries, both were enlightening, and both will
not end up with a wide cinematic release (they'll be snapped up
by cable television or ABC/SBS).
3pm THE TRAMP AND THE DICTATOR
One of the funniest belly laughs I
ever had was seeing Charlie Chaplin do Hitler in "THE GREAT
DICTATOR", his 1940 film that dared make an issue of the
jewish persecution taking place in Europe. Ofcourse, when he
first proposed it, the extent to which Hitler was disposing of
Jewry was unclear and he thought that using his eminence as the
most loved comic figure in the entire world would be good. Jewish
bosses in Hollywood told him they didn't want the movie made.
They were scared enough of the anti-semitism in their own country
and fearful of making themselves an issue in the USA when Germany
had done so well to get out of the depression thanks to Hitler's
policies. Some very important people in the USA were after all,
trying to make an issue about illegal jewish immigrants the way
we are refusing our very own illegals and for pretty much the
same reasons - except of course, hindsight has proven the Jewish
claims 100% accurate, and we can continue sledging the veracity
of the claims being made by this lot of illegal migrant until we
are proven right or wrong in history's pages. Of course, having
truth or history on your side doesn't win you elections, so it
doesn't matter if Howard looks bad in 20 years, how was he to
know the true extent of persecution illegal migrants faced in
their homelands IF indeed they did face that persecution? And
that is the very heartlesness that existed when the word of
attrocities against the Jewish people spread. And that is the
very reasoning we use to make ourselves feel detached from the
humanity of these "illegals" who are "publicity
seekers" trying to "feed off our good will" and
"take away our jobs."
In this climate of hostility towards Chaplin's plan for this
satire, a hostility which had him having to fund the entire film
out of his own pocket, Chaplin had word that one man did support
his endeavors. That was President Roosevelt! The Jewish studio
chiefs were worried about losing their European income but
President Roosevelt supported Chaplin. If only our political
leaders had as much decency when ample opportunity to stoop to
the gutter existed. "Be good" is part of the cinematic
vocabulary, but the actions of good and just men rescued us from
our own evil. If WWII were hapenning now, I wonder where to good
and just people would be? They would be the "snivel
libertarians" and the "do gooders" we love to
deride so much.
Chaplin's GREAT DICTATOR is a masterful work. It is cinematically
light years ahead in terms of satire. A satire that wasn't
surpassed until Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, Dr Strangelove. It
is astounding because of his capturing of Hitler's very powerful
and accomplished and persuasive speeches and making a mockery of
it. His dancing with the globe proved to be the most enduring
image and one of such truth that its full significance is
revealed at the end of this documentary. Charlie Chaplin and
Hitler were almost cosmically supposed to come head to head, even
though they didn't meet. Chaplin and Hitler were born practically
at the same time and they had striking similar features. Hitler
took acting lessons to make himself seem less like Charlie
Chaplin. Hitler was obsessed with films and like Chaplin had his
pulse on what was going on around him. Hitler understood the
power of film. Hitler's star performance in Triumph of the Will
is still an astonishing work that cannot help but be emulated -
look at Star Wars, Starship Troopers, Gladiator to see touches of
Triumph of the Will coming to light. And it was like there was
this battle between the two in terms of using film for their
purposes. Hitler used film to give him an importance by creating
a new cinematic language (or at least using cinematic language
for his purposes) and Chaplin used all his cinematic powers to
make fun of and undermine Hitler's use of film. Both
cinematically and in terms of history, Chaplin won. Satire &
Parody is a language we understand, cinematic fascism is
something we quote to denote evil (although not all the time -
the victory parade in Star Wars Episode IV bears some
unintentional resemblance to Triumph of the Will). But this
documentary reminds us that vigilance is integral. There was
nothing "exceptional" about Hitler's rise. Hitler
capitalised on the circumstances around him. Thankfully there
were good people who stopped him. Chaplin played his part.
The film was Chaplin's highest grossing film ever, the first film
in which he spoke as Charlie Chaplin and history will record him
as one of the few and brave who spoke up so bravely against a
most evil empire - an evil that should have been stopped when it
first propped up in its innocuity. That's why I'll always support
the ostracisation that occurs when public figures make
anti-semitic comments. Even though it's sometimes better to know
who your enemy is, I think the last five years of this Government
has proved that it's better to have a racist in a closet than a
racist in a position of power. I certainly liked the fact that
people were more open when Howard first came into power. But as
we've lurched more and more to the fascist in us, I wonder now
whether things were better when "political correctness"
meant we didn't intimidate and slur people openly. Howard and
Ruddock's good intentions and legalistic language might not turn
out to be sinister, but as this documentary shows, the seeds can
grow into plants and vicious weeds against humanity.
One final note - this doco is certainly uncimeatic in film style.
Unlike an Errol Morris film, this one would really feel the same
on the ABC as in a darkened cinema.
5pm DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND
A fascinating, sometimes breathtaking documentary about AMISH
youth who are allowed to experience the "english world"
in a period called "rumspringa." AMISH people do not
get baptised when they're very young. That is why they were
persecuted and moved to America. It's not until the children are
adults that they can make the decision to turn away from the
English World and be baptised into the Amish Church. Of course,
when these children, half educated (until year 8) are let out
into the "real world" after years of repression from
that very world, some of them will have an overdose - just like a
kids first visit to a lolly shop. Though the overdose is on
drugs, violence, promiscuous sex and popular culture. You can
only wonder how any of them can adjust to a life without
electricity, TV and the car. And if they do become AMISH and
change their minds, it's total ostracisation. But it doesn't only
take a change. The children are put under a lot of pressure to
remain AMISH. After all, you're talking about many children whose
alternative to everything they've known is the uncertainty of a
gigantic world that brings so much trouble to them. THey
effectively lose their families if they don't stay in the AMISH
church (though I presume there's still a support network there
for those that stay in that pergatory).
Unlike Chaplin, this documentary contains some truly memorable
images as it follows a select group of protagonists, both male
and female. THe strongest story is of Faban, a boy who becomes
involved in the drug scene - an innocent figure corrupted and
ultimately betrayed by the outside world, his story resonates
because of all the news surrounding the drug busts in the AMISH
community in 1999 (i think). But it also resonates because of the
wider implication it has with regards to youth culture, society
in general and religion. But this documentary deals with the
broader issues quite subtly.
The Devil's Playground is surprisingly hindered by its low
budget. The digital camera work gives it a "veritae"
appearance, but some of the scenes captured are so good that you
only wish that it had the broader scope of film quality
appearance rather than the grittiness presented. It's ironic that
film has gone so far that you wish that documentaries were filmed
more like traditional fiction features. It doesn't matter now the
way the film is presented - a fiction feature can appear more
"real" because they employ handicam, than a documentary
film shot by Errol Morris. There are a few beautiful shots, one
of them an intimate shot of Faban and his girlfriend on a bed -
you can feel the intimacy but it sort of sums up a lot of the
issues that this film brings up. However, I should qualify my
statements because Larry Clark is always criticised for being
"exploitive" of teenagers because of the way he shoots
them. This film could have easily become exploitive or even
tabloidish in its presentation, but it does extremely well in
illuminating the issues these teenagers face. And that's not
mentioning the fascinating insights into Amish life and belief.
This was a very impressive doco, and well worth watching it on
the big screen. I'm sure we'll be seeing it on TV in the not too
distant future.
TUESDAY 30 July 2002
Back into Melbourne for the film festival. Was in a bit early so went into South Yarra for a bit of French food at France Soir. Maybe there's a thin line between sophisticated and pretentious, and France Soir is one of those places. Oh ok, I'm being cruel, but I just found it unusual with the waiter speaking French all the time, greeting and delivering the food with French words. This is perhaps the only restaurant I've been to where this happens - and if that's what's needed to make people feel they are eating French food in a place called France Soir, then so be it. For me, the language doesn't add to the authenticity of the dining experience. In any case, the food was fine. After knocking down their king prawns, a steak and a creme brulee (which is basically like my mum's custard with tofee on top), I was ready to watch the film.
5pm IT KINDA SCARES ME
Israeli cinema is often fascinating. There are many people living in Israel who reject their Government's approach in policy - whether it be compulsary military service or their policy towards the "settlements". So, it was really interesting to have this doco introduced by the film maker who said: "It's very hard for me because at home I'm hated (for not supporting Government policy) and abroad I'm hated for being Israeli." This documentary doesn't deal at all with the Palestinian Israeli conflict. Instead, it deals with a big brother style program which tries to rehabilitate juveniles who get caught up on the wrong side of the road. The Government pays older people to give them activities and try to get them out of this life of crime so that they can become productive members of society and join the armed forces. The most beautiful thing about this doco is that the politics is extremely subtle. Why? Because the movie focuses on the relationship with the troubled teens and the documentary maker, Tomer Heyman. Tomer is going to help them put on a play and the documentary focuses on this journey. The relationship is even more complex. The boys sense that Tomer isn't opening up to them completely and they say so on a number of different occasions. They pour their miserable life stories to him and to the play and Tomer eventually feels that he too should, for the sake of the play and his friendship with the boys, reveal that he is a homosexual. It's an astonishing moment in the doco, because here are a bunch of young men, prone to violence, and what you would think as homophobic, stunned by the revelation of the doco maker. Their reaction and eventual acceptance of the doco maker, while still being able to be stupid and teenage about the whole thing is really amazing - and the reaction is a thoughtful observation on the compassion and humanity that reside in even the most lost of souls, the most dejected beings.
The boys themselves are surprisingly honest and open about their life experiences, and the dark side of Israeli urban culture, which resonates deeply with the ghettos of America is something we don't see of Israel. The audience of this film, most probably imagined an Israel that is sophisticated, facing its only problems from its Arab neighbours. I wonder how troublesome things will get for Israel internally if they do achieve peace with their Arab brothers and society begins to focus on its internal problems. Nevertheless, this film was very powerful not only because of its strong human narratives but because of the climate in which the narratives are posited. The director noted the shock of the boys that their stories were being told as far away as Australia. They shouldn't be. The theme for the MIFF is "crossing boundaries" and this film is a perfect example. It Kinda Scares me is like a sequel to the brilliant and tear inducing PROMISES. When the two brothers in PROMISES say "we have our own problems to worry about", It Kinda Scares Me delves into that idea to reveal a more complex Israel than the one we see on our TV screens.
TUESDAY 06 AUGUST 2002
The Australian Voice couldn't get enough of my travel pieces, so I was booked into a flight Business Class to Melbourne to watch a film called MANIC. There are a few bigger name stars in this, including Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Don Cheadle. But the trip into Melbourne was absolutely extraordinary. Arriving at the airport, I saw Simon Crean on a cell phone just outside the baggage screening - he was probably mulling over bad polling figures. But it wasn't until I entered the plane that things got interesting. A man was sitting next to me with a bandage around his arm. He looked familiar, but I didn't pay too much attention. I mean, sometime i'm so lala land that I often pass my best friends in the street and don't recognise them. The plane was taxiing toward the runway for take off, when it turns around and heads back to the gate. The captain announced that the flap that makes us take off was not working and that there is no way the plane can take off without this being operational. It makes you wonder how a problem like this was detected a few minutes from take-off rather than by the engineering crew!
Anyway, the man next to me began talking to me, asking me what I was up to and where I was going. He told me about the bastard who stopped a car right infront of his motorcycle, which left his arm in a cask and bad bruises. We were shifted to another plane and his identity didn't click with me until Dr. Cindy Pan, came up to him and said: "hey John, we're going to be in the same car at Melbourne."... It was John Jarret. Multi-logie winner and ex husband of Noni from playschool. Dr. Cindy Pan was dressed in what appeared to be pyjamas but she still had that strangely attractive quality. Cindy went away and I kept talking to Mr Jarrett until we got into Melbourne an hour later. I didn't know that he had a part in Picnic at Hanging Rock. Amazing. He's had an interesting life and has been mates with that old style but increasingly famous group of men that are part of what is Aussie culture. It was great to see someone who again, was a very honest creation, with none of the pretentions that celebrity can bring. I mean, he was happy to talk for an hour to a total stranger and answer all sorts of questions I asked about his life.
MANIC
Manic was an excellent little film about a juvenile, Lyle (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt),who can't control his anger and is sent to a mental ward as punishment. There, he has to learn to reflect on his anger and doesn't solve his problem. Indeed, it is so enraging to see people that just can't control themselves. It is sad that someone like Lyle, with so much life, must be subjected to an environment which isn't necessarily conducive to the type of reflection he needs. Of course, the shadow of One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest must hover over any film that deals with insane asylums - and we do have our share of cruel and sadistic wardens, but the main psychologist played by Don Cheadle is, we discover, a good person with good intentions and a little troubled himself. There is enough complexity and good film making here to more than hold your attention, and Josephy Levitt proves that he is much more than a sitcom sidekick. Excellent little film.
A CINEPHILIAC'S JOURNEY TO
MELBOURNE
PART I
Thursday 8 August 2002
Thank God I'm in Melbourne - I'm escaping the heat-wave
conditions in Sydney, and feel right at home here with the grey
clouds and true winter temperatures (max 15).
I'm here for the Melbourne Film Festival, for which I'll be
seeing twelve films in three days - if I can catch a non-arty
farty film in a multiplex, I'll try - but four films a day is
taxing. The flight to Melbourne was OK - it was an international
flight running 30 minutes late. Of course, they had an in seat
television which promised 18 channels. Nope. They force fed us
the regurgitated nine news. The on seat telephone wasn't working
either. I really wanted to call from it - Sure, it's $6.00 US for
one minute (which Qantas reckons is a bargain - they're offering
this price for a 'limited time only') - but I really think my
fantasy life will come true when I make a ridiculously pointless
one minute call from a plane somewhere over Mt.Kosciusko.
Anyway, it's almost five to 3pm and another session is coming up.
The films so far have been outstanding - there hasn't been one
disappointing film. This is very unusual for a film festival
because the film makers try so hard to be fancy and say something
new. Usually it comes out conceited or condescending or
colagulated, but not at this festival.
Before I go, let me tell you how weird this whole experience is
getting. Being a film nut and spending three days in Melbourne
with barely enough time to see anything but a cinema screen, I'm
watching a film about film nuts who do the same thing. That's
what the next movie is:
"Are you prepared to alter your diet to avoid the need for
toilet breaks, thus fitting in more movie screenings each day? DO
you take changes of clothes to the cinema to avoid coming
home?... The individuals profiled in this probing and frequently
hilarious documentary represent the most extreme cinephiles (DOM
NOTES: well, they haven't met me have they!)... People for whom
obsession knows no bounds, these New York City movie maniacs run
their lives according to computerised screening schedules and a
voracious appetite for film culture...Compulsive rituals,
disturbing love lives (Bill has joined a dating service to meet
and marry a French woman so as to move to Paris where there are
more cinemas)... etc. etc."
Scary huh?
Anyway, there's one minute 'til the movie starts and you know,
movies come first. chow.
PART II
Friday 9 August, 2002
I'm sitting in the Asiatic Internet Cafe or something like that
at 11:30pm in one of the most extraordinary scenes I've ever seen
in my life.
There are forty computers packed with mainly Australians of Asian
appearance playing an extremely violent and graphic war game -
Quest or Something like that. It's deafening. All I hear is
"fire in the hole", "fire in the hole" BANG
BANG BANG "fire in the hole" BANG BANG BOOM... THREE,
TWO, ONE... BANG, BOOM, "Fire in the hole"... THE
COUNTER TERRORISTS HAVE WON.
It's louder than an action movie in a cinema.
So, it was lots of fun writing up a response to an e mail from
Louise about under what circumstances the Aussie Dollar goes up.
I wonder whether war can make a difference - probably it does -
it goes down the drain (no one invests in a war torn country -
govts would fix the currency). BANG BOOM "fire in the
hole"
Well, where was I. (There is a queue of ten people waiting to use
the computers - can you believe it. I'm the only one using e
mail).
Anyways, Melbourne was thrilling again - not that I saw anything
beyond the hotel and three cinemas. After getting up and watching
a bit of Bert Newton at his best, I went back to sleep. After
waking up and buying a new ALI G video, I went back to the hotel
room and checked out the swimming pool, which juts out over the
street. By the way, since the festival is in Melbourne city, I
chose not to stay at the Como. Instead I'm staying at the Adelphi
hotel in Flinders Lane. If anything looks dodgy it's Flinders
lane. A very narrow street (or dark alleyway), it's the type of
place you'd expect to see white trash shooting up in and
harrassing you for money to buy coffee with. But when you
actually look at the shops in this street, or enter into the
hotel, you realise that Flinders Lane is the epitome of the
classic "derelicte" line of fashion that you see in
Zoolander - where grungy, heroin chic and homelessness become the
essential element of "cool" - no one's poor and if
there is an unfortunate soul trying to muscle in on this version
of derelicte, they'll be "moved along" by the police.
Hotel Adelphi could be straight out of Kubrick sci fi. Minimilist
in the extreme, the hotel thrives off the vibe of those
ridiculous sculptures that burst off the highway from the
airport. You know - those bright red and yellow things that just
appear out of nowhere just as you enter the city. That's the
philosophy of this hotel - and if you went straight from
Melbourne Airport to this hotel, you'd think you were in a
"hip" or "kewl" city that was going places.
I'd have to agree that their film festival is definitely going
places. Not a bad film to date. Cinemania yesterday was fantastic
- I mean, I think I saw my doppelgangeer, except he was into
computers and was working on a scheduling programme to make sure
he didn't miss films if they clashed (I do this manually). The
films following were equally brilliant but I'll leave that to a
review later on.
The noise in here is getting too loud - and now there's this
dance music beat on top of all the shooting.
Anyway, at 2:15pm I went down to Ezards, which is the basement
restaurant of The Adelphi. My God - what a menu. Trying to
decipher what half the ingredients were was challenging enough.
The entre of scallops was interesting, but I don't like
coriander, so I wasn't over the moon. BUT on the menu for the
mains I noticed a mediterranean looking meal which was a surprise
since almost the entire munu was infused with Asian flavours. I
immediately picked it. That was probably the best main course
I've ever had. Three thick lamb cutlets on a base of Tihini sauce
(better than any leb restaurant). On top of the lamb cutlets is
the softest Persian Fetta you'll ever see, taste or touch mixed
with onions and sumak. On top of that is a fried poato that is
still crispy. Around the plate is some sumak and (I'm not
kidding) something like Rasberry syrup. The taste sensation was
incredible. Dessert was just as good. Though I now feel guilty
with all the onion and garlic breath I must've subjected people
to in the cinema.
The movies tonight were fascinating. A real highlight was the
film 'Y tu mamá también'. This will do very well in the art
house box office. In a strange way, it reflects "Dude
Where's My Car" but on a totally sophisticated level, with a
deeply philosophical and political undercurrent that hacks away
behind the frivolity and explicit sex scenes (and sexuality).
There's a lot to be said for the links between this film and Dude
Where's My Car. Of course, I'm not dissing Dude Where's My Car,
because its politics is one-tracked and limited though it is a
lot deeper if you want to look at the film more closely, but Y tu
mama tambien feels important. The narrative feels like it is
saying something. Its politics is extremely subtle and not
ideological. What I mean is that often films are so over the top
in their politics and people assume this to be a good thing. It's
not. Y Tu understands that you don't need to over do the stuff to
make a point. Instead, what the director has done is bring to
life a most brilliant, open, honest script within the context
(played out brilliantly in the mise en scene) of modern Mexico.
In all respects, this film is much more reflective of life than
an overtly political film is. Furthermore, there's a freedom in Y
Tu that is just infectious, its invigorating and almost flies -
it rises above its setting on the journey that the film takes you
on. (P.S. This is an audition piece for a film critics job hehe)
Another standout of the festival are the Errol Morris
documentaries - one about a lawyer to the mob, was as usual
excellent. How does he find these people? The stunning thing
about these docos is that they were shot for a television series.
But Errol Morris is cinematic to the core. He single handedly
re-interprets what documentary form is all about. I've spoken
about the irony of films using "documentary" methods
(cam corders) to achieve 'reality', yet here, Errol Morris, the
ultimate doco maker, uses rich film and cinematic recreations to
tell his real narratives. Reality is becoming cinematic, and
fiction is becoming something that used to be real. Funny huh? I
predict here that camcorder technique, shaky camera work, will
become a thing of the past soon. Quite simply, as home video
quality improves, our perception of reality will more closely
resemble the cinematic realityof Errol Morris.
Anyway, i've written enough and now I'm getting a bit scared. I
realised that Melbourne was this place where two gangs of asian
kids sorted out a fight by producing meat cleavers and Machetes
on each other and laughing while two brothers died in the Yarra
river. I've always said that Asians and Lebs have a lot more in
common than one would think.
BOOM BANG "The counter terrorists have won" " GO
GO GOOOO GO GO gogogogo" "fire in the hole"
Person next to me giving me wierd looks reading my e mail. I
swear, I'm not racialist.
shit.
PART III
Saturday, August 10 2002, 1305
Well, I'm still recovering from the boom bang bang of last night.
I have great faith in the youth of today when all they can think
about at midnight on a Friday night is to log onto a computer and
play fantasy war games. The virtual world really does appeal - I
mean, look at me going to Melbourne to see the big screen - as
the main character in a Clockwork Orange says: "the colours
on the viddy look more real" than reality. Our brains have
2million thoughts per day - those that criticise the speed of the
image and the virtual world, underestimate our potential to
process every thing we see. As you can see, theeffects of the
festival are taking its toll. I'm sounding like a first year
communications student. Anyway, so after this incredible evening
composing e mails, I thought I should add something i forgot in
the last e mail.
EZARD at AELPHI REVISITED
Yesterday, I explained the lamb meal in detail (i'm over the
garlic/onion burps now and had a shower). What i didn't explain
was my grand entrance to the place.
Being a Friday at around 2pm, I walked into the restaurant with a
Filatracksuit top, black jeans, and these blue timberland shoes.
I looked like a clown. Anyway, the waiter thought I stepped into
the wrong place at first - until I asked if they were still open
for lunch. He didn't say: "sure, come on in"... he said
to wait a minute... obviously asking his boss if they wanted
someone like me in the place. After all, everyone else was
dressed in suits and the place was oozing wealthy power lunch
(i.e. wine everywhere, lots of guttural laughing following some
political joke at the expense of the treasurer or the share price
of Macquarie Bank).
God I love the up-market restaurant business. You see, there's a
bit of a recession right now in that industry - too many players
opened up during the stock market boom, and now some are offering
$28 two course lunches with wine. Ezard wasn't doing this, but it
must really gall them to have someone like me accepted into their
hallowed turf. Right now, they'd probably welcome the homeless
(if the bum could pay the bill). And my favourite thing I like to
do when they ask what I would like to drink is say: "coca
cola" - the waiter's reaction is always priceless.
But my thing is - so what if i'm wearing Fila. If I went to
Kelly's suit factory and bought meself a tux for $99.00 and some
cheap black shoes from Auburn Payless Shoes (sadly that
institution has closed), i'd be spending less than I did on my
own clothes. So, I really do think its important for people to
challenge the conventions of expectation. I mean, if I had the
money, I'd wear a suit to the bakery every day. Ofcourse, being a
hypocrite, I would never dare play the organ in stubbies.
Actually, for the safety of myself and the Australian community,
I would never wear stubbies.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
So, after an enjoyable sleep, and an excellent big breakfast
(poached eggs, crispy bacon, hash browns, tomatoes, a sausage and
spinach - what? - spinach - yeah, I know - too healthy but it's
amazing how quickly it goes down if you block your nose and
swallow the stuff), I watched the rest of the Ali G init tape.
The interviews had me laughing like a mad man - I might have
woken up the floor.
At 11:30am, someone rang me up from reception and asked me when I
was checking out.
Dom: What do you mean checking out - i've got this place booked
'til tommorrow.
What a dilemma - they couldn't rock me, because I had sent them
an e mail outlining the dates. I did change room types over the
phone and this is where the error took place. Ten minutes later,
I got a call from Reception, who apologised but they said I'd be
moved to another hotel. DAMN! I thought they'd put me in a crappy
hotel but I was relieved to find they found me a room at the
Grand Hyatt for the night. Sure, it's five star, but what a
hassle huh? hehehe. Unfortunately, I missed the Asian film 'you
shoot I shoot' and couldn't find the Hoyts cinema in time to
catch "The New Guy" - so I'm here writing to you. The
next session starts at 4:45. I'll have to get an early nights'
sleep. The plane leaves at 6am tomorrow! That means wake up at
4:30am. I have a terrible feeling something will go wrong and I
miss mass in the morning.
PART IV
8:55pm Saturday August 10
Well, I'm in between movies right now. The one I just watched was
a doco on a simulator training pilot who was sitting in first
class of a plane from Denver to Chicago in 1990 when the DC-10
(United flight 232) lost all its hydraulics. There is no way that
plane could be landed without any hydraulics - and it's a one in
a billion chance that a scenario like that would happen - so
there were no training manuals dealing with it. Remarkably, he
and the pilots on duty managed to land it, saving two thirds of
the 290 passengers. When United simulated the exact same scenario
using the black box, their top training pilot couldn't land the
plane (i.e. all dead). After trying 28 times, they got him to
show them what he did - and they managed to land it! So the crew,
in one go, managed to work out how to land this plane using all
the skills - and without Danny on board, that would likely not
have been the outcome. An absolutely amazing story - I'm sure
it's on video, so I'll try to get it.
The earlier film was ONE HOUR PHOTO. Robin Williams the comedian,
plays a very creepy character. A loner, who has been keeping
copies of prints from this one family and sticking them on his
apartment wall. He becomes obsessed with them. You don't know if
he's a paedophile or a maniac or whatever. By the end of it
you're not sure - but it's very uncomfortable. Robin Williams is
outstanding in this role - though I worry that he humanises an
essentially ugly character. In a previous film at the festival,
the lawyer in Errol Morris's documentary talked about how he
could get these mob bosses off charges when they were caught red
handed. He made the point that juries would acquit a man if they
believed that the other person deserved it. And Robin's form of
extreme and irrational vigilantism risks being seen as good
because he's committing it against a not 100% good character. The
music though was outstanding. These composers will go a long way
composing Hitchcock type thrillers - some of the best chord
progressions are contained in the main theme.
THE GRAND HYATT
You couldn't get a greater contrast of five star than between
Adelphi and Grand Hyatt. The Adelphi is small but ultra-modern.
The Hyatt is huge, like a train station with reservation banks
and people flooding in. I was given a room on the 27th floor
overlooking the Yarra river - awesome. The toilet is all marble -
indeed, many a wog would drool over the excess - and those white
painted taps. Not even my uncle's new house would be so brave as
to try that one on. I missed that uncomfortable but ultrahip sofa
in my room at the adelphi which has an inverted rectangle for a
back rest (i.e. the top part of the rest juts out at 45 degrees).
But I was getting tired of the inconvenience of modern minimalism
(hey, I'm always inventing these really big words to make me look
like I know what I'm talking about. I can see an architect
reading this and saying "wanker").
FINAL FILM
O.K. well I'm beginning to cry, making a fool of myself in this
internet cafe. The memories of my marathon and herculean efforts
over the last fourteen days (those surrupticious day flights to
Melbourne indicating my secret affair with the festival) are
flooding back as I approach my last film of the festival at
9:20pm. I've had so much fun along the way. I had a deep and
meaningful 2 hour chat with John Jarrett in the plane. He was on
the way to tape the National IQ test in Melbourne and is famous
for his broke up with Noni, the five Logies effort for Better
Homes and Garden, starred in Picnic at Hanging Rock and broke his
arm when some idiot pulled up in front of his motorcycle. I spoke
to Cindy Pan (dressed in pyjamas and strangely attractive without
makeup on), telling her how much I liked her little comments in
the telegraph about the IQ test, I gave a knowing nod to Jimmy
Barnes, bumped into (literally) Roy (John Doyle) from Roy and HG)
and I got to see a few films, stayed in a hip hotel room at a
cheap rate, moved to an ol' fashioned five star hotel, ate the
best lamb racks ever and did I mention this - some of the most
outstanding films you could hope to see in a festival. I was
hoping one in four would be good, but I'm stoked at how good the
festival choices have been. Now I have to work out a way to make
money out of living a life like this. God, I better start getting
serious about that traineeship application. Or better still, get
into law, make a lot of money and retire early.
9:10pm
I should get going. I'm getting hand strain from trying to get
all of this into an e mail. You'll by now hopefully be sick of
the Melbourne experience, sick of my rubbing it in that I've been
on a holiday while you slave away at your desks or at uni,
working out some statistical reason as why according to the fin
review, you seem to lose so many of your managed funds customers
(hey, here's a try - maybe they're not performing well). Sure,
you might be making a buck at it - but I, like the trusty Cicada,
will eat plenty and drink movies while I'm at the prime of my
youth, only to squander all my opportunity in my reclining years
as a janitor at some high school, where in the ultimate irony, I
will be forever reminded of the squandered endless potential i
had as a youth - never able to repeat it again, and resigned - no
trapped in a life cleaning up the refuse of youth.
Dominic
Pray for me so that I can wake up at 4:30am in the morning to
make my flight into Sydney.
GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB
PPS. Excuse all the typos in the last e mails, I haven't had time
to spell check nothing (as you can tell, i don't grammar check
either). I usually don't anyway, but i often read them again
which i haven't done cause i have to be in the movies in 3 mins.
So it's a bit rushed. Remember, I'm doing this to test your
limits of boredom. God, am I still talking. yes you are dom. nah,
i can't be, must be an echo. Yeah right whatever you say dom. No
that's not true nic. shit are you getting all schizo on me dom?
what're you talkin' about willis? Willis, I thought our schizo
personas were dom and nic, who'se willis? Willis - that's like
from a TV show - as if i would be schizo enough to create a new
character. Hey, isn't it cruel to make fun of mental people. Nah,
you always go on about cripples and making funny sounds and
immitating spastics and YOU get away with it. hey, i never admit
to doing that stuff, why would i? well, whatever dude. sweet.
dude. sweet. dude. sweet. Is anyone listening anymore? Am I funny
still? I need affirmation. shibby.
PART V CONCLUSION II
Sunday August 11, 10:30pm
Well, it's back to reality now. The last film was deadly.
Starting twenty minutes late, the movie was 2.5 hours long and
dealt with this Argentinian Lebanese family. The boy had run away
from his family, causing it to rupture over the years. His older
brother goes to find him and bring him back home. The younger son
is set up as a prodigal son. The movie was deadly boring, with
minutes of boringly flowery dialogue more suitable to a text than
a film. Furthermore, WE GOT FROM THE FIRST HALF HOUR THAT YOU
WERE IN LOVE WITH YOUR SISTER. Get over it. That's what I felt
like saying. But when he goes home, he seems to crack onto
everyone of his family. His relationship with his mum is almost
as disturbing as that in A.I. And there's a brief scene that
suggests he has it going with his own bro as well. Then there are
the flashback or fantasy scenes where he basically masturbates
infront of his sister in a Chapel. Now, I might be making this
movie sound a bit Niche Productions or not boring at all - but
God, I was a most in tears of laughter at some of the dialogue.
This type of film is a true Festival film. And trust us lebs to
be in a movie about strict families and incest. I'm surprised
there wasn't a gang rape in the film. The worst thing though was
that by the time i got to the hotel and packed it was 1:30am
before going to bed. It makes it hard getting up at 4:30am.
Thankfully the flight was uneventful, but I did have to gulp
breakfast down. The entire 6am flight was PACKED. I suspect this
has something to do with the wrestling in Melbourne last night. I
couldn't get over how busy Melbourne was yesterday. I think I
would've gone any day to watch the WWF than that pretentious 3
hour piece of turgid film making last night.