September must be the month of birthdays. We've already had Ian and Paul and Greg cross over that magical 21 barrier, and now it is Brett's turn. I have known Brett since year eleven, where he was a sort of Ken Starr figure, keeping box loads of secret documents on his potential rivals for the year twelve captaincy. The biggest dossier was kept on good old Rudi and Scotti. You see, Rudolph's communist leanings and fascination with nuclear weapons had to be watched McCarthy style by Brett. Scotti, aka the silent one, had a mysterious past that involved being the local bully (witness the fight between Leslie and Mr Soares) as well as prankster (Shakespeare calls someone like Scott a "clown"). No doubt, when the thirty year "national secrets" period ends, we'll have lots to learn about Rudolph and Scott's early life thanks to Brett's consistent and dedicated spying.

Brett then became Vice Captain of the College. As far as the captaincy went, Brett was obviously more able than Darren Marion was for the job (I mean, it was obvious Brett had better "people skills"), but lost out because his vote rorting scheme backfired on him. While Vice Captain, Brett introduced such unforgettable ideas; like the "student representative council" scheme, which was a resounding success. Towards the end of the third term, the praise for Brett's imaginative structuring reached a high point, with headlines in the Prefect Minutes proclaiming: YEAR PREFECT COMPLAINS �SRC IS BORING!�. Certainly, this highlights Brett's greatest asset, to compartmentalise and analyse situations and resolve them to the benefit of the majority. Brett during his illustrious stint at St Mary's also led the charge for the year twelve present being a Grandfather clock to be put in the school hall, instead of Rudolph's laser printer suggestions (who can forget that missile incident!). That scheme was also a resounding success. The clock is still "being repaired" by "3 votes" according to the press spokesperson for St Mary's Cathedral College.

After gaining an astonishingly high mark for the HSC (I can't remember, but it was around the 95 mark!), Brett took on "advanced science", a degree intellectually similar to creative arts (ie. with a strong physics component). In his early days, he moved away from his strong catholic heritage into dabbling with the black arts. Finally he settled on fence sitting (Australia should trademark fence sitting as a sport - actually, the national sport). Brett met with as much success at university as he did in his school life. Becoming immensely popular at University, Brett had to fend off hundreds of adoring chicks to "concentrate on his studies". Such sacrifices paid off handsomely when it came to exam time.

By third year, Brett has had hundreds of movie offers following his amazing performance in the indie hit CAPTAIN SUPER HUMAN UNIVERSE. He played a complex character, torn between his plantistic devotions and his conventional love life. Many speculated on whether this role was a metaphor for his life, considering his well known attitudes towards amputees, and his love for the human waste process. Of course, Brett as usual turned down the acting offers so that he could yet again focus and dedicate his life to the pursuit of his studies, where he continues to ace 'em. Brett also continues to keep in contact with his cathedral friends, whether it be on IRC or in person. He recently "came out" with a dark secret he had been hiding for years; that he was only "friends" with Darren Marion... and we all thought they were writing those highly improving scripts for the Young and the Restless and Neighbours.

No doubt, others have known Brett longer than myself. They may have different stories. They may have information that blackens and degrades his character. If so, I am always an e mail away. No doubt, the speech(es) that is to be handed down Saturday night will be enough in itself to warrant a further editorial. (beware, I think what's coming up is what they call the 'mushy part') To conclude, I have been lucky to know Brett, to be able to debate him (he's the only one that can convulute a debate more than myself), discuss the meaning of life, discuss the philosophical issues that make not one iota of a difference to the way we live and eat and drink. Happy 21st; and I'm sure his birthday in 2077 will be in the same overcrowded nursing home that the Dobson's will have theirs in (Ian will have had another run in with the kitchen knife by then!).