Fan-Fiction Theater 3000 EPISODE: 024 -- Ghostbuster Nibun no Ichi Today's Victim: Falkyn -- Chapter 23 by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) MSTed by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) and Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: The Real Ghostbusters are owned by DIC and Mystery Science Theatre 3K is owned by Best Brains, Inc., and I hope they don't mind us using their characters and settings. STARRING: Durenor, Windwalker. 5'9" Black hair, violet eyes. The vampire who made an unscheduled appearence and just decided to stay. Her hobbies include, torching, shaving and beating unsuspecting fools... especially Peter. (Windy: I just can't help myself!) Spengler, Egon, Dr. 6'3" Blond hair, blue eyes (which happen to be myopic, hence the red glasses) A genius with an exaggerated I.Q. Contains multiple degrees in the field of parapsychology and physics. He is responsible for the creation of the proton packs and the ecto-containment unit. Stantz, Ray, Dr. 5'8" Red hair, brown eyes The youngest member of the group, second to Egon in holding multiple degrees. He specializes in engineering and occult sciences. Egon once said he had the mental state of a six year old. Venkman, Peter, Dr. 5'10" Dk. Brown hair, green eyes All-around idiot (no kidding, Peter: HEY!) Amazingly, he has two Ph.D's, one in psychology and the other in parapsychology. He's actually smarter than he pretends to be. Most trouble they're in, is because of Peter. Zeddemore, Winston, Dr. 5'11" Black hair, brown eyes The only member of the group who doesn't have a Ph.D, he earned his 'Dr' title as an honorary member of Columbia University. The only member of the group who has common sense (Winston: Damn straight!). D 6'0" No hair, yellow eyes A Model 27 High-Density Productivity Android that took residence at the abandoned Satellite of Love. Looks like a cross between Adam of Shining Force and Data from ST: TNG. [VoFF] "So, have you decided to stay?" Ray asked Windwalker, who was busily playing Fatal Fury on the Super Nintendo. "Tory asked me to, so I decided that I would stay on permanently," she responded. "Can you just not shave me anymore?" Peter whined, rubbing his short, spikey hair, which was just starting to grow back. Windy glanced at Peter and snickered. "As long as you don't piss me off." Peter slowly backed away, almost running into Egon. "Anyone seen Winston?" "He's baking brownies to celebrate Windy joining the team." Egon stood up and moved to another position on the couch. When he noticed it was near Windy, he slowly scooted in the other direction. Windy laughed. "It's okay, Egon...I'm not going to bite..." she said, wiggling her eyebrows. "unless you want me to..." "That's okay, I like staying unbitten..." Egon gulped, getting up from the couch altogether. She dropped her controller and started laughing. "If I'm going to be a part of this team, you guys have to calm down. I assure you, if I haven't bit you yet...I never will. I don't associate with my food..." Ray swallowed. "Well that's comforting...I think." * * * * Winston Zeddemore wiped his hands on the funny looking pink apron that decorated his waist. The special brownies he was cooking were missing one ingredient, vanilla extract. He ransacked the cupboards of the satellite, finding nothing but almonds and food coloring. As a last ditch effort, he searched the fridge. In the back of the second shelf, he found a few bottle with a brownish liquid in it. He opened one and sniffed...it smelled like vanilla. "Found some!" he crowed triumphantly, pouring the entire bottle in the batter. * * * * [Deep 13] "Why are you so scared!? Windy's not going to laugh, I promise!" Tory said, straightening Derek's tie. "You sure she likes flowers?" he asked, sniffing at the bouqet of red roses. "It's red, and she likes blood...those should do it," Tory said, running the lint brush down the back of his suit. "Just be yourself and she won't shave you like she did Peter..." Derek gulped. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." Tory threw her hands up in defeat. "How about we wait til after the fic...if you're still scared then, I won't say a word." "Deal!" [VoFF] "Hot stuff! Coming through!" Winston said as he entered the lounge room. He was carrying the hot pan of brownies while Ray carried cups and a jug of milk. "I wish I could eat them...sorry, I can't." Windy looked almost dejected at the idea. "I have a special brownie for you...even though I almost threw up while making it." Winston handed her a smaller pan. She looked in the pan and noticed that the brownie was red. "A blood brownie? How sweet!" She kissed Winston on the cheek. Winston almost fell out from the gesture. [Deep 13] "Argh! She kissed him!" Derek cried. "Calm down, she was only thanking him!" Tory replied. [VoFF] "Smells good, Winston." Peter said, taking a bite out of his brownie. "These taste better---" he stopped, his voice had grown a bit lighter. "Oh, no..." Egon said, his own voice was getting higher with each word. Winston looked down and noticed two soft mounds on his chest. "AHH!" Windy was simply staring with large eyes as the four men slowly changed into women. "What the hell is this? Ranma 1/2 on crack!?!?" She looked in the small pan at her own brownie. With a gulp, she put it on the table and took a few steps back. Egon-chan straightened his--her suit. "Winston, what did you put in these!?" "Nothing, just the usual. Flour, eggs, vanil--" Ray-chan almost screamed. "By any chance did you get it from the fridge!?" When Winston-chan nodded, Ray-chan fell out. "That was the DNA experiment I worked on!" Peter-chan screamed. "I'm a woman again!?!?" [Deep 13] "When experiments go wrong..." Tory muttered, looking at the five women. "This is ugly...I'm glad I didn't eat any of that brownie!" Derek said. The pair was silent for at least five minutes. Suddenly, Tory grinned and turned to Derek. "Wouldn't it be really evil to send a fic now?" "Very evil..." "Muhahahahahahahar!!!" [VoFF] "We have movie sign!" the android crowed, hustling his charges back into the theatre. [Door Sequence 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] > Falkyn -- Chapter 24 > By: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) > >________________________________________________________ Peter-chan: Here is my patience...It's very short because I said I'd snap if I became a woman again! Egon-chan: AHHHHHHHH! Windy: Please, Egon-chan, my ears! Egon-chan: Sorry... Ray-chan: I think I'm pretty cute! If I were me, I'd date me... [runs her hands through her long red hair] Winston-chan: As usual, that made no sense whatsoever. Egon-chan: Does anything he say ever makes sense? Peter-chan: Nope. > "Kerad!" Peter-chan: McFly! Winston-chan: Stella! Ray-chan: Alvin! > Kerad approached Thanatos and genuflected. "Yes, my lord?" Egon-chan: (Kerad) How much ass kissing do you want me to do today? > The cloaked being beckoned for Kerad to rise and follow him, which >Kerad did unhesitantly, hand ubiquotously on Injustice. His metal-soled >boots clicked on the warm stones of the floor as Thanatos led him down a >long corridor, moving so silently and fluidly, he seemed to be floating on a >cushion of air. > Peter-chan: I told Thanatos that beans weren't good for him. Ray-chan: Bleh! > Kerad followed Thanatos to a large room, in which there was a large, >green, winged, reptilian creature, which suddenly shied away when Thanatos >entered. Winston-chan: (Dragon) It's *HIM*! AAH! > "What is this, my lord?" > "/He/ is Holocaust, and he is yours." > "You're giving me a /dragon?/ What have I done to deserve him?" Egon-chan: Nothing actually, the dragon's gonna EAT you! > Thanatos merely replied, "He is a gift, from me to you. Spend some >time with Holocaust and get to know him. He will valuable when you fight >Falkyn again." Winston-chan: Whenever the hell that'll be! Peter-chan: This storyline is starting to DRAG! Ray-chan: I know what you mean...I'm almost wishing that Falkyn dies in this chapter... > Graciously accepting the dragon, Ray-chan: (Kerad) I'd like to thank all the people that tormented me...for I'd never be the evil being I am today if it wasn't for you all! Thank you! D: (Oscar crowd) [loud applause] >Kerad approached the beast and put his hand on the scaley front left flank. >"I will, my lord. I assure you I will befriend this being." Winston-chan: (Kerad) --even if it kills me... Ray-chan: Which it will... Egon-chan: ...we all hope... Peter-chan: If not, I'm happy to help rush things along... D: He'd mince you first. Peter-chan: Shall I go into the Artoo-Gaytoo line again? > "Be careful not to breathe his breath weapon, Kerad--" > "A green dragon's breath weapon is a cloud of chlorine gas, which is >lethal when inhaled. I know." Windy: Now that's what I call morning breath! Winston-chan: Ewww. Ray-chan: No, morning breath is waking up after 2000 years... Windy: [growls] You saying my breath stinks?! Ray-chan: NO! > "When you are ready, I have a job for you..." Egon-chan: (Kerad) I don't have to wear the skirt this time, do I?! Peter-chan: Ick! > > Falkyn returned to the village from his home in the mountains to >replenish his supplies and meet with a few villagers. Peter-chan: Meaning, something happens in the village and Falkyn runs off to defend the honor of the villagers... Winston-chan: And he even goes to the mountains... > "Have you heard about the recent string of killings?" one of the >villagers asked of him. This one was a trader of some sort, he had a short, >stubbly beard and neatly cut gray hair. He leaned on a length of spruce, >obviously belying a physical handicap. Egon-chan: No, you don't say!? Winston-chan: You mean he's not a pirate!? Ray-chan: I thought the crutch was just for show! Windy: You guy--er, gals, shouldn't do the bitter act...it just isn't you. Peter-chan: You get turned into a man for a few hours and see how happy you feel! Windy: Don't incur my wrath... Peter-chan: Eep! > "No, I have not. Do you have any details?" Windy: (villager) Of course I do, I wouldn't be in this story if I didn't! > The trader paused. "This one is demented; he kills his victims with >a meathook, Peter-chan: Attack of Candyman!? Ray-chan: [chanting] Candyman...Candyman...Candyman... Egon-chan: Ray...NO!!! [The theatre is filled with light] Winston-chan: Oh, damn! Candyman: Somebody call me?! [wields meathook] Ghostbusters-chan: AAARGH! D: IAI! Windy: [sighs] Let me handle this. Hey! Candy, how's it going?! Candyman: Windwalker? Hey, girl! Nothing much...somebody here called me... Windy: Sorry, Candy...false alarm... Candyman: Dammit...I wish people would stop doing that! Can't a man rest in peace! [The theare is filled again with light as he vanishes] >then gouges out their eyes. R'itni-knows-what he does with them. Egon-chan: And Egon-hopes-that-he-never-finds-out. Ray-chan: She. Egon-chan: Huh? Ray-chan: Egon-hopes-that-SHE-never-finds-out. Egon-chan: SHADDUP! >He's been doing this in the city of Rakhast. The constabulatory is baffled >and they have no leads." Winston-chan: and the Ghostbusters are baffled on what the constabulatory is... Ray-chan: Wait! [digs out American Heritage] The body of constables of a a district or city. Peter-chan: Gimme that! [snatches dictionary and throws it over her seat] Ray-chan: HEY! D: It would seem that American Heritage is the dictionary of choice for this motley crew. Peter-chan: Who're you calling moldy? > "This is indeed grim." Egon-chan: No, being turned into a woman is grim! Windy: What's wrong with being a woman...I think I'm doing pretty okay. Peter-chan: That's fine and dandy if you happened to have been BORN THAT WAY! >Falkyn looked to the east. "But I have no jurisdiction over police matters. >Is there a pattern in this person's serial killings?" Egon-chan: Well, for it to be serial, a pattern must exist. Ray-chan: I feel...bloated... Windy: Welcome to being a woman! Winston-chan: You mean--- Peter-chan: ARGH! My chest hurts! Egon-chan: Oh, God! I think we are experiencing what many call PMS! Ray-chan: Anyone got any chocolate!? [short pause] Ghostbusters-chan: AHHHHHHHHH!!! Windy and VO Tory: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR! > The old trader shook his head. "Nope. He hits whenever he wants. >Sorry if I've wasted your time, Falkyn." Egon-chan: (Falkyn) Gee...thanks...SHI-NE! > Without averting his gaze from the east, he said, "No, you haven't. >This information is important. Thank you, sir." > As the trader continued on his way, Falkyn thought, /Maybe I ought to >take a look at this situation, and rectify it, somehow./ > Windy: Yes, go stick your nose somewhere it doesn't belong. You're only asking for trouble! Ray-chan: You don't believe in helping people? Windy: If it involves me getting mangled somehow...hell, no! Peter-chan: Hey, for once we agree! Ray-chan: PETER! > Falkyn ran, using the Sansou-Ken, to Rakhast in a matter of hours. >Descriptions of the killer were running rampant, many saying "He looked like >this," or "She looked like that." Nobody had hard evidence of the killer's >physical appearance. Winston-chan: And those that did...well we know what happened to them. >Six victims were recorded, and all had, more or less, the same wounds: >several lethal slashing wounds and their eyes removed from their skulls, the >optic nerve cleanly severed. [Everyone covers their eyes and screams] Egon-chan: Thank you very much for that image, Wes Craven! VO Derek: (deep voice) Thank you, Egon. > Only one connection had been made in all the murders: they were all >performed in broad daylight, but in out-of-the-way locations, all within >fifty metres of each other. Ray-chan: And no one put this together?! Who are their law enforcers? Winston-chan: I dunno, the Keystone Kops!? D: Perhaps the Boulder Police Department. >Falkyn decided to watch from rooftops and catch the serial killer before the >seventh victim was claimed. > Peter-chan: This should tell you that everyone in that town is dumb. Egon-chan: If Falkyn can figure it out...then they must really be *special*! > Three hours of nothing. Then, suddenly, he heard a woman's scream. Peter-chan: Sayyyyy... Egon-chan: Peter, no... >Sansou-ken in motion, Falkyn raced to the origin of the cry: an unused >alley. Well, unused by the regular populace; the alley was heavily used by >vermin. Windy: Because we all know, only vermin commit crimes! > A large form towered over the woman, bearing a rusted and bloody >meathook. Peter-chan: Mention his name and I'll bonk you! Ray-chan: [innocent] Who?! > Falkyn drew his katana and fired a warning chi bolt into the air >next to the person's head. Egon-chan: A *warning* chi!? Windy: Come on! The man's been killing people...that should be some excuse to blow his head off! > The person, who turned out to be a tall, muscular man, stopped his >approach and turned to face whoever threw that beam of light. Tightening >his grip on his meathook, he asked, "Who you?" Winston-chan: Watch us be amazed at the infinite intellect of the Falkyn characters. Egon-chan: He sounds worse than Donbran! Peter-chan: Now *that's* dense! Ray-chan: No, Falkyn's dense...this guy's just plain retarded. > "I am Falkyn, and I command you to cease your actions and come with >me." Windy: Falkyn, honey, it wouldn't be too hard just to jump off the building and SLICE HIS ASS! > "No. Me take eyes of pretty and scar-man." Winston-chan: He's like George of the Jungle! Ray-chan: [singing] George, George, George of the Jungle. Strong as he can be. D: [Tarzan like yell, then slamming into a tree] Egon-chan: I'd say he's a few biscuts short of a baker's dozen. > /He's a few biscuits short of a baker's dozen./ "Why do you kill >innocent people and cut out their eyes? What motivates you to commit such a >heinous act?" Windy: Does he read these before you? Egon-chan: I DO NOT! Winston-chan: Don't get him started again, he'll yell about it all night if he has to. Windy: Physicists are *so* touchy! Egon-chan: WE ARE NOT! Peter-chan: You do have a point there, Windy. > The man gave him a confused look. "What you say, scar-man?" Ray-chan: [singing] I'm a scar man...OW! Winston-chan: Oh, god... > "I asked," Falkyn repeated, "why do you cut people's eyes out?" > "Me give eyes to god." Peter-chan: (man) Me idiot, me can't read! DUHHHHH! Egon-chan: ARGH! That hurt! > "What god?" Falkyn asked, on guard in case this man decided to >de-opticize him. Ray-chan: Sorta like 'de-transformed?' VO Derek: ARGH! > "Me give eyes to skull-god. He make me smarter. Now, I take eyes!" > /Thanatos? He's involved with this?/ Windy: (Jessica Rabbit) You better believe it, buster! [The yellow klaxon starts to flare] D: Break time, everyone! All: HUZZAH! [Door sign: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] [Deep 13] Tory: Welcome back, ladies. [VoFF] Peter-chan: [eyes narrow into green slits] Grrrrrrr.... [Deep 13] Derek: Oh, she's cute when she's angry. Tory: BWAHAHAHAHA! Both: MUHAHAHAHAHAR! [VoFF] Windy: I guess they're taking pleasure in your predicament. Winston-chan: You've been around Egon again, haven't you? Windy: How is it possible to see that? Winston-chan: I rest my case. [Deep 13] Derek: Ok, boobies. Do your thing! [VoFF] Egon-chan: Remember what we discussed last time. Winston, you got the signs? Winston-chan: [appearing with cardboard signs] Right here. [The Ghostbusters wield four signs with sayings and start marching in a circle] Ghostbusters-chan: Hell no, we won't go...Hell no, we won't go... [Deep 13] Tory: [reads a sign] They're on strike?! How the hell can they do that?! Derek: [growling] I'll make kibble out of all of them...ASOBI--what?! Tory: [picking up a CD] I have something even worse in mind... Derek: [reads CD] Ooh! THAT'S pushing it, Tory! [VoFF] Windy: Nice, but wouldn't this get you killed? Peter-chan: We don't care! Ghostbusters-chan: We don't care! We don't care! Hell no, we won't go!!! D: I think I'm going to stand in the hallway. Just so that I don't get injured. [Deep 13] Tory: You have one last chance to do the skit. [VoFF] Peter-chan: [flips the finger] [Deep 13] Derek: THAT'S IT! Tory, do it! Tory: Aye, aye, sir! [pushes play on the CD player] Both: [quickly don earmuffs] [VoFF] Windy: Oh, no... [The Spice Girls starts playing on the loudspeaker] IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS MAKE IT LAST FOREVER, FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS... Ghostbusters-chan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! D: [smoke starts pouring from his head] Windy: ITAI, ITAI!!!! NAN DES KA!!!! SHIMATTA!!!! [Everyone starts running around screaming] All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! [Deep 13] Both: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!!! Derek: NOW GET BACK TO THE 'FIC! Tory: BUNCH OF INGRATES! Both: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!!! [VoFF] [Everyone scrambles back into the theatre] [Door sign: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] Egon-chan: If I'm forced to listen to that again... Peter-chan: Look who is talking..you came up with the idea of striking! Windy: Next time, just do what they say! > The man rushed him, flailing his meathook wildly. Falkyn backed away >from the first two swings and blocked the next. Stunned, the man stood with >his jaw agape as Falkyn backflipped away three times and prepared a larger >chi shot to finish the fight. All: HEAVY MARTIAL ARTS ACTION! Ray-chan: MASTER RETARD THEME SONG! All: DUHHHH! > Suddenly, a cloud of noxious green gas descended on the madman. He >coughed once and suffocated on the gaseous chlorine. Peter-chan: (man) Me stupid, me die! GRAAAH! > Falkyn looked up to find the origin of the gas, and saw a dark green >creature circling around in the sky, beating its majestic wings. > When Falkyn recognized it as a dragon, it landed on a rooftop nearby, >and Kerad, who was riding the beast, jumped down to ground level off the >roof Windy: [blinks] Winston-chan: As opposed to just jumping off to the roof.... Peter-chan: (D) Detail overload...excuse me while I malfunction! >to land gracefully on the balls of his feet with a loud clicking sound. Egon-chan: [clicking her heels] I wish I were a man...I wish I were a man... Peter-chan: Sorry, that's not going to work...I did that before! >He looked right to Falkyn with a piercing glare from his black-tinted eyes. Windy: Dammit! Are his eyes black or are they black...make up your mind! Winston-chan: Sarcasm doesn't work with you. Windy: You're right, Winston. I should just stick to slaughtering. [grins as she wields her sword] Winston-chan: Uh...well...EEP! > Falkyn readied his sword and prepared to use the Ryujin Satsu Zan if >he had to. "Well, Kerad, it looks like we must fight in an alley with a >dead body as a witness." The madman's ex-victim had escaped prior to >Kerad's arrival. Ray-chan: At least one person is displaying some signs of intelligence. Winston-chan: Unlike the rest of the characters. > Kerad held his hand out, palm forward. "I'm not here to fight. This >is neither the time nor the place for our climactic battle. Windy: Climactic?! I think he's been watching too many movies. Give me a closed cupboard...I'd still beat his ass! >I merely came to dispose of that... thing. He was supposed to give power to >Thanatos through his cruel and very unusual way of murdering people. Now, >he has outlived his usefulness. Peter-chan: As a few other characters-- Windy: Coughlightningboltcough! Peter-chan: --that I won't mention for the sake of my butt! >We will meet again, Falkyn. But until then, I await to see how much of a >challenge you will be. I am training just as hard, but with real opponents. >I have defeated them all, and you may just be next." Egon-chan: Must EVERYONE have a long action soliloquy!?!? VO Derek: YES, they MUST! You got a problem with that?! > "I look forward to it, Kerad. May you die with honor and dignity." Ray-chan: He almost died with a pair of breasts in his face! Peter-chan: Now that's what I call honor and dignity! Winston-chan: RAY! PETER! Both: Sorry! > Pausing to scoff, Kerad scaled the side of the building and mounted >the green dragon. [Everyone gasps] Windy: No, no, it's not what we think it is....at least I think so... Ray-chan: I said if that dragon showed up in a lace teddy...I'm outta here! Peter-chan: (Dragon) HEY! You gotta buy me dinner first! > Falkyn watched as the dragon flew off to parts unknown. He triangle- >jumped up the sides of the two buildings beside him to the rooftop and >looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of the creature. Winston-chan: (Falkyn) I *must* know what foundation it uses! Peter-chan: Now that's the first female comment I've heard from you. Winston-chan: ARGH! Egon-chan: Oh dear...luckily there are no males in the theatre...or we'd be in deep do-do by now. > Unfortunately, it was long gone. /How could something that big fly >away so fast?/ He looked from horizon to horizon, but no sign of the >dragon-mount of his foe. > Windy: [sniffs the air] MAN! You four are flaming! Egon-chan: What do you mean? Windy: I can smell your pheremones...you were right...if there were men here, you'd be in danger! Peter-chan: At least they're not getting felt up like I was! [Egon and Ray blush] > Holocaust hadn't flown away. Kerad had opened a Gateway to Tartarus >so he could return and report to Thanatos. Winston-chan: No...I thought he was going to Dairy Queen! > "My lord, I disposed of your toy, just as you ordered. However, I >must ask why you gave him those visions." Egon-chan: If he sent him visions of BSSG...I can understand why he was retarded. Peter-chan: ARRGH! VO Tory: Now that gives me an idea...muhahahahahaar! Ghostbusters-chan: NOOOOOOOO!!!! Windy: This better not involve me! > "I enjoy watching humans suffer at the hands of their kin, especially >those who believe they're doing something right, like Rast," Thanatos >replied. "I decided to tell him to sacrifice human eyes. How he got them >was his problem, not mine." Winston-chan: Yeah sure...everything's someone else's fault...bastard. Peter-chan: Just like how it's your fault we're like this! Winston-chan: You're asking for a fat lip, Venkman! > Still on his knee, Kerad asked, "My lord, I request permission to Ray-chan: (Kerad) Stand up...my knee's dying here! >return to the Prime Material Plane and exact revenge on those who tormented >me as a youth." Egon-chan: [twitches] Peter-chan: Egon...don't start that again. Egon-chan: Start what? [twitches] > "I would be more than glad to grant you permission to do so." Windy: He's ALWAYS asking Thanatos for permission. "Mommy, may I go kill now?" Winston-chan: (Kerad) Mommy, may I wear the dress this time! Peter-chan: ICK! > > Kerad returned to Holocaust's "stable," which was not much more than >a moderately-sized dragon hoard. The juvenile Windy: Whaddyasaynow ha! Ya betta run for it, run for it, run! Egon-chan: What!? Windy: Oh, nothing... Winston-chan: Great, the vampire's being obscure now. >green dragon slept fitfully upon a pile of valuables, but roused himself >when he heard Kerad's clicking footfalls. "What do you want, Kerad?" he >asked, his voice resonating, but not too imposing. Ray-chan: (Dragon) And does this involve a lace teddy? Winston-chan: Dammit, Ray! If I hear dragon and lace teddy again...I'll kick your butt! Windy: Ooh, cat fight! > "Holocaust," Kerad began, "Lord Thanatos has given me permission to >do away with my tormentors of years past. I will return later, so you can >have your sleep. We will go after only two or three at a time; I do not >want to overexert you, my friend." Egon-chan: Watch as he overstresses friend...hoping that he doesn't become dragon food. Peter-chan: Watch as I scream my head off...hoping that I'll change back. Egon-chan: Wh-- Peter-chan: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! D: [turns off audio receptors] > A wisp of potentially lethal chlorine gas wisped from the dragon's >nostrils. "I could blast you with a dose of chlorine and be rid of you." All: THEN DO IT! > "But you're forgetting," Kerad warned, "I would cut your throat open >like that." He snapped his fingers as he finished. "But I won't because >you're more valuable alive. You haven't been treated fairly, have you?" > "No." Windy: Call in the NAGD!!! Ray-chan: Huh? Windy: National Advancement of Green Dragons...the oppression must stop!!! > "Neither have I. We are alike, you and I; treated unfairly in our >youth, ready to exact revenge on those who wronged us. It will be glorious, >Holocaust! We will destroy all who oppressed us, and rise to our greatest >power, at the side of Lord Thanatos!" Winston-chan: I bet Thanatos has lip imprints on his butt and a small sign that says 'Kerad, kiss here!' Egon-chan: He doesn't need an invitation to kiss his ass...he's been doing it on a volunteer basis! > Holocaust shifted on his bedding. "Why do you follow that cadaver >with blind loyalty? You are getting very little in return for it." Windy: HELLO! > "He gave me my new power, my weapon, and my status as general of his >army and his aide. Egon-chan: You could have went to the army and gotten the same thing...but at least the army'd give tuition reimbursment! Peter-chan: And you're assuming Kerad would go to school? Egon-chan: Whoopsie! > He deserves Windy: A swift kick in his BLEEP BLEEP! Ray-chan: Ouchie! No need to be vulgar... Windy: Fine...HAI-KEEBA! Ray-chan: Better! >my loyalty in return for his gifts. A regular person who obtains this power >would merely lust for more, or use it to threaten Lord Thanatos for more, >and then eventually use them for his own purposes, and if he obtained you, >like I did, he would /attempt/ to intimidate you, then you would most likely >blast him to the next Outer Plane." Ray-chan: Huh?! Did anyone understand that? Egon-chan: Nope. Windy: Huh? Winston-chan: No way. Peter-chan: Hell no. D: Still processing recieved information. Ray-chan: Carry on! > "I see." The dragon spread his wings in a great stretch of >tiredness. "I can still blast /you/ into the next Outer Plane!" Windy: (Dragon) Actually I don't...I'm just hoping you'd shut the hell up and leave! > "But I treat you with dignity and respect. I allow you to rest when >you require it or when you want to. I don't force you to do anything, >Holocaust. You are perhaps the only friend I've ever had." All: [bursts out laughing] Winston-chan: His best friend is a *dragon*?! Egon-chan: I know I'm not a social butterfly..but I DO have human friends... Peter-chan: And we even wonder about that sometimes... Egon-chan: [eyeballing Peter] And I wonder about it myself! >He placed his hand on the dragon's left foreleg. Windy: (Dragon) That's NOT my leg! Ray-chan: EWWWWW!!!! Egon-chan: You know, that's the first true hentai comment today! Peter-chan: Hey, you're right! I didn't even notice it! Winston-chan: Maybe we should leave Peter as a woman. Peter-chan: AHHH! *BONK* Winston-chan: OUCHIE! I was only kidding! >"We will rule the skies of the Prime Material Plane. The humanoid races >will fear us, and the dragons will as well. Feel free to join me in >maniacal laughter." Windy: Uh...Okay...MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!!! Ray-chan: Enough...don't get Tory and Derek started! Egon-chan: (Dragon) I don't laugh with just *anybody*. Winston-chan: (Kerad) Come on, laugh with me! I'm evil! Egon-chan: (Dragon) Okay, as long as you respect me tomorrow morning... Peter-chan: Sorta hentai there, Egon. Egon-chan: Was not! > The dragon did so. The duo's laughter echoed throughout the chambers >of Thanatos's Palace of the Dead and out into the regions where the dead >gathered. Windy: (Dead person) Damn...they're laughing again. Ray-chan: (Another) Every time Kerad laughs, one of us goes to hell... Peter-chan: (Ditto) We're already there. > The laughter lasted for only a few seconds. Taking a few deep >breaths, Kerad said, "I'll leave you to your rest now. I have to tend to a >few things first." > Peter-chan: (Kerad) Like Tayid... > Kerad returned to his quarters to meet Tayid, leaning against a wall. >"Finally back from your jaunt to the Prime Material?" she asked. Egon-chan: ARGH! You talked her up! Peter-chan: Coincidence, I assure you! Winston-chan: Watch it, Peter, you sounded like Egon there. > Kerad shed his jacket and weapons. "Holocaust is a good friend. >You'd have to meet him sometime," Ray-chan: (Kerad) Honey, make sure you wear that steak dress...just so Holocaust can feel comfortable... >he announced, placing his weapons on their rack and dropped, almost >carelessly, his jacket onto a peg on the wall, its armored shoulder plates >clacking loudly. When they came to rest, the left shoulder plate was facing >the room, showing Kerad's symbol: a katana and wakizashi, diagonally >crossed, surrounded by a wheel of black fire. "In two days I return to the >Prime Material Plane and take my revenge. Then I will have only one major >obligation left: the death of Falkyn." Winston-chan: Blah, blah, blah! Just get it over with! Ray-chan: This story dragged its butt like no tomorrow... VO Derek: Keep talking and there won't BE a tomorrow! All: EEP! > "Why don't I come with you on your revenge spree?" Tayid asked, >sliding her arm around Kerad's waist. "I'd like to see the bastards who >made you into what you are!" Windy: Why, so you can try and sleep with them, too!? Winston-chan: WINDY! Windy: What? The woman is...as Peter says, 'very friendly'! Peter-chan: Yea--WAIT A MINUTE! Egon-chan: She gotcha there! Ray-chan: Zinger! VO Derek: Windy: 2, Peter: 0! What is wrong with you, Pete? > Kerad flipped his hair back behind his head, exposing the glowing >black scar that ran down his left eye. "By all means, my dear. I'll get >you when I'm ready to leave." Egon-chan: I hope that doesn't mean what I think it does. Windy: Get your mind out the gutter! Egon-chan: Sorry... All: The END! [They stand up and exit the theatre] [Door Sequence 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] [Deep 13] Tory: Well guy...er, gals. How did it go? [VoFF] Peter-chan: It sucked! Ray-chan: You ask us that everytime...and everytime you get the SAME answer! Egon-chan: [growls under her breath] Windy: Whoa..they're seriously PMS'ing! [Deep 13] Derek: I didn't need to know that... [VoFF] Windy: You didn't have to sit there and listen to them bitch the whole fic! [Deep 13] Tory: HEY! Just do the ending...I'll start off this time... [Waves her hands around] [VoFF] Egon-chan: What is she doing? Peter-chan: I dunno. [Looks down at herself] OH, NO! Ray-chan: Wh--AIEEEE! Winston-chan: Someone shoot me!!!! [Tory changed everyone into Sailor Senshi fukus.] Windy: I just know you didn't dress me up as Sailor MOON! [Deep 13] Derek: Well...the skirt looks *great*! Tory: [sighs] Just do your little intros..AS the Sailor Senshi of your color! [VoFF] Peter-chan: After this, I'm going to throw myself out the airlock! [Ray grumbles and poses] Ai to biyuutii no. Seera fu, bishoujo senshi. Seera Biinus!! [Winston jumps up just to get it over with] Ai to seigi no...I forgot the rest...I don't speak Japanese... [Egon rolls his eyes as her turn is next] Fine, I'll just say mine in English...Thank you! For test exams and grades. I am the lovely sailor suited warrior, Sailor Mercury. [Peter clacks around in her high heels as if she's enjoying it] Ai to hi no! Seera fu, bishoujo senshi! Seera Maazu! [Windy looks as if she's about to snap] Ai....to...seigi...no...and you can all kiss my vampiric ASS! [She rips the skirt off, leaving her clad in just the body suit...she tries to undo her hair from the funny hairstyle but to no avail] Windy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! [Deep 13] Tory: Well...she got Usagi's role right! MUHAHAHAHAR! Derek: [staring at Windy in the body suit] Uh... Tory: Since I'm the last coherent person here...Good night everyone! [Tory hits the button ] [ FWOOOOOOOOOSH! ] \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ -----O----- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ [the screen goes black] "Hey, we're changing back!" "Wahooo!!!" "I'm me again! Say, Windy...you have nice legs!" "VENKMAN!!! How about a little Spiral Moon Heart Attack?" "EEEEK!!!" ________________________________________________________________________ "Falkyn, Chapter 24" by: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) SHAMELESS PLUGS: You can find the rest of Falkyn the MSTing at: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com/Falkyn Tory's Real Ghostbusters Webpage: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com Komera Waddi's RPG and Interactive Stories: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Stadium/4989/ EMAIL US! Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) _________________________________________________________________________ >my loyalty in return for his gifts. A regular person who obtains this power >would merely lust for more, or use it to threaten Lord Thanatos for more, >and then eventually use them for his own purposes, and if he obtained you, >like I did, he would /attempt/ to intimidate you, then you would most likely >blast him to the next Outer Plane." Ray-chan: Huh?! Did anyone understand that? Egon-chan: Nope. Windy: Huh? Winston-chan: No way. Peter-chan: Hell no. D: Still processing recieved information. Ray-chan: Carry on!