Fan-Fiction Theater 3000 EPISODE: 011 -- Freedom! Today's Victim: Falkyn -- Chapter 11 by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) MSTed by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) and Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: The Real Ghostbusters are owned by Sony/DIC and Mystery Science Theatre 3K is owned by Best Brains inc., and we hope they don't mind us using their characters and settings. FFT3K Theme Song [cue MST3K track] In the not-too-distant future way out and deep in space A mysterious android, name is D, Is in a dark and lonely place Stuck up on SoL, all alone, Why not do an E.T. and grab a phone? He ran some tests until some me-te-ors Made the satellite home for the Ghost-bust-ers... (Peter: "IT'S RAY'S FAULT!!!") (Ray: "IS NOT!") "I'm reading cheesy fanfics, The worst, I can find,(LA LA LA) We'll have to sit and read them all, Or you'll gradually lose your mind!" (LA LA LA) Now keep in mind, the 'busters can't control Where the fanfics begin or end, (LA LA LA) D'll try to keep the sanity Of his newfound 'busting friends! GB Roll Call! Spengler! (We're on!) Zeddemore! (Oh, man!) Ray Stantz! (Check this out...HAI-KEEBA!) Venkmaaaaaan! (Hey, baby!) If you're wonderin' how they eat and breathe And other science facts, Just tell yourself, "It's just a MST," And you should really just relax. For Fan Fiction Theater, 3000! [Guitar twang] Peter: It should be The Real Ghostbusters 3000! *KBANG* Peter: OOOOF! [D retracts the Rocket Fist] STARRING: Spengler, Egon, Dr. 6'3" Blond hair, blue eyes (which happen to be myopic, hence the red glasses) A genius with an exaggerated I.Q. Contains multiple degrees in the field of parapsychology and physics. He is responsible for the creation of the proton packs and the ecto-containment unit. Stantz, Ray, Dr. 5'8" Red hair, brown eyes The youngest member of the group, second to Egon in holding multiple degrees. He specializes in engineering and occult sciences. Egon once said he had the mental state of a six year old. Venkman, Peter, Dr. 5'10" Dk. Brown hair, green eyes All-around idiot (no kidding, Peter: HEY!) Amazingly, he has two Ph.D's, one in psychology and the other in parapsychology. He's actually smarter than he pretends to be. Most trouble they're in, is because of Peter. Zeddemore, Winston, Dr. 5'11" Black hair, brown eyes The only member of the group who doesn't have a Ph.D, he earned his 'Dr' title as an honorary member of Columbia University. The only member of the group who has common sense (Winston: Damn straight!). D 6'0" No hair, yellow eyes A Model 27 High-Density Productivity Android that took residence at the abandoned Satellite of Love. How or why he's there, no one knows. Looks like a cross between Adam of Shining Force and Data from ST: TNG. * * * * [On the VoFF, the ex-Satellite of Love] [Last time on the VoFF, the entire group was instantly Chibi-fied due to an error on the behalf of Dr. Venkman. Now, they sit around, pondering their fate as Chibis] Chibitory: Now that I remember, I really *hated* childhood. Chibipeter: Gah, just think, puberty all over again. Chibis: GAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Chibid: I'm glad I didn't experience 'puberty'. Chibitory: Puberty for girls is hell compared to guys' puberty! Chibiray: [big watery eyes] To think, 8 years old with the mind of a 30 year old. Chibipeter: Except Egon, he was already grown when he was born! Chibid: Wouldn't that cause pain? [The rest of the Chibis face fault] Chibiderek: Remind me to have a talk with you later. Chibid: Of course, Master. Chibiwinston: We wouldn't be in this matter if it wasn't for a certain someone. I'm not naming names, PETER! Chibipeter: HEY! It's Egon and Ray's fault, they created the monster! [Chibipeter jumps up and kicks the machine] Chibiderek: I think you just made a major boo boo, Peter... Chibipeter: BAH! [The machine starts to smoke and fizzle, preparing to blow again!] Chibiegon: GET DOWN!!! Chibis: AHHHHHH!!! [The machine explodes and plunges the bridge into darkness once again] "DAMMIT, VENKMAN!" "Don't yell at me!" "Oh God, here we go again!" "The next person that touches my butt, dies." "GOMEN NASAI, DEREK!" "Oh, ECCHI!" "HAHA, That wasn't me, Peter, that was Derek!" "AAAIEEEEEE!!!!!" "All right, who hit me?!" "Uh, no one!" [A sudden flash of brightness brings the lights back up again] Peter: Whoa, hey! We're no longer Chibied! Ray: Hooray!!! Egon: Where're Tory and Derek? VO Tory: Here I am! VO Derek: We made it back! D: For once, it seems that Dr. Venkman did something correct. VO Tory: Now, where were we? Oh yeah...CALL ME QUEEN!!!! VO Derek: SHI-NE! [A multitude of whips and bombs decends on the bridge. The Ghostbusters scream and scramble for cover] D: MOVIE SIGN! [Door sequence] [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] [They race in and sit down] > Falkyn -- Chapter 11 > By: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) > >________________________________________________________ Egon: (Phone Psychic) Your life line seems to be very short. Ray: (Stupid Customer) Oh gee, why did you say th---ARGH! *THUD* > Falkyn and Li'na returned to Zrinth to replenish supplies and rest. >While at a tavern, Falkyn overheard an interesting conversation. Peter: Did you hear? Falkyn runs from a girl! Winston: What's worse, she's the one working!! Egon: Both of you, hush! > "So ye say some old dead guy's got a treasure 'oard buried >somewhere?" a ruddy-looking dwarf with a southern accent inquired. Ray: Southern? I thought that was broken British. 'Ere luv! Penny for da poor Guvnor! > A human with a bandanna wrapped around his head nodded. Egon: (Rambo) I'm ya woist nightmare...[curls his upper lip] Ray: Gah, Egon! You look horrible! Peter: HEY! It's Ryouga!! >He spoke with a heavy English accent. "The ol' guy's name was Karados. Peter: Kudos to you too, bud! >They say 'e's got it buried somewhere on these 'ere islands." He took a >swig of his drink and continued. "'s a shame there ain't nobody brave >enough to try 'n unearth the stuff." Egon: Maybe it is British... Peter: Don't ask me, I'm confused! D: English and British are basically identical. > The dwarf laughed. "I would! 'cept I'm too old! I been around for >two hunnerd 'n seventy years! I'd prob'ly keel over 'fore I even got dere!" Winston: Ok, this dropping the 'h' bit is getting old... D: Can we drop the H, as in 'hentai', Peter? Peter: No, NEVER! Egon: Your best bet is to kill him... Peter: WHAT?! > The man leaned back in his chair, then realized there was no back to >it. Ray: Your momma aint got no back, that's why she's always fronting! Peter: -the hell?! VO Tory: Ray, that was so lame. So, I give you this! [A bolt of lightning careens down and zaps Ray] Ray: (charred) Dang! > Before he fell over, he grabbed the table and regained his balance. He >took a breath and said, "Well, if'n I can find me a few good fighters, I >could go after it." Egon: That wasn't even worth a laugh. Winston: That's something Peter would do. Peter: What?! [leans forward to look at Winston and falls out his seat.] Winston: Point proven! > Falkyn approached him. "I could not help but overhear what you were >talking about," Peter: (Falkyn) In fact, I was hiding under the table! Egon: (Dwarf) You mean that wasn't Jon I was playing footsie with!? Peter: (Falkyn) Aah! Winston: Egon, that's disgusting!!! Egon: Thank you! > he said. "I and my protoge would be willing to accompany >you, as long as we get our fair share of the treasures, and we don't run >into anything undead. You wouldn't believe how many things came back from >death to attack me in the past month alone." Ray: (Falkyn) There was this one in leather...oi, was it scary! Peter: Ray, don't. > The man looked him over, then extended his hand. "Me name be William >Kane, but ye can call me Billy. I can't guarantee we won't fight undead, 'n Winston: [glares at Egon] Egon: Why you be looking at me like dat!? Winston: ARRRGGGHHH! [rears back and clobbers Egon] Egon: AHHHH! THAT HURT! Winston: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO! VO Tory: All right, boys. Settle down now. VO Derek: I got five on Egon! VO Tory: I got five on Winston! >I can't guarantee we be comin' back alive." Ray: Then this is where I leave! Peter: Ray, I thought you loved danger!? Ray: Come on now, I *do* have common sense! Winston: [mumbling] Once in awhile... > "I've survived things you would never see in your life," Falkyn said. >"We can be ready tomorrow." Peter: That's like the animals Ray had as a kid! Egon: I doubt some of them were even alive! > Billy nodded and said, "Fine by me. I'll be waitin' outside of 'ere >for ya." > Winston: [glaring at Egon while wielding a rolled up newspaper] Egon: What?! > A large, red-haired man was silently listening in on the conversation Ray: (Man) What?! Falkyn wears weave?!?!?! Peter: Oooh, girl! That's not fair, give that horsey back its hair!! >from the bar. He chuckled to himself. "Falkyn, you're going after >Karados's treasure hoard, are you? Peter: Ho?! Egon: He said hoard, you idiot! Peter: Dang! >Dame ja koryaa (This isn't good). He'll get himself killed." He paid for >his drink, checked the sharpness of his axe, and left the tavern. > Peter: --and tripped over his shoe and cursed at the rabbit and--I give up! Ray: Not happy today, are we? Peter: NO! Egon: Is it because of the missed sex scene? Peter: YES! WAAAAAAAA!!!! VO Derek: Quit whining, you stupid git! VO Tory: Ooo, Derek! Good one! D: Perhaps you fail to identify this man: Red hair, axe, speaks perfect Japanese, hint, hint? VO Tory: Tenma-chan! Ahhhh! > Falkyn and Li'na met Billy outside the tavern, as he said. > "Don't tell me," Falkyn said, "Karados's hoard is in a mountain." > Billy gave him a strange look. "How'd ya know that?" > "Don't ask." All: (trumpet) Waaaaa, waaaaa, waaaa, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! > "Oh, the mountain ain't in Zrinth," Billy said. "It's in Kumay." > "Che." (Hmph) Falkyn shook his head. "How long will it take to get >there?" Ray: Long enough for you to encounter a beast and get your arse kicked! Peter: [shocked expresson] Ray! Ray: SORRY! > Billy made a few calculations in his head, then replied, "Two days, >if we jog for forty-eight 'ours. But o' course, we won't do that!" Egon: Then what the hell you suggest it for?! Comic relief!? D: Dr. Spengler, I believe smoke is coming out your ears! Peter: Watch it D, his head will explode! >He did a few more calculations. "Wit' acceptable rest stops, we should make >it 'n four days." Winston: Now try that with the h's! Peter: I'm shocked the man can add! > "Four days, it is," Falkyn said. He looked around, and saw a familar >figure, with a giant axe at his side. The man looked at Falkyn with his one >good eye, through a jungle of thick red hair, and said, "Anata shinuwa." >(You will die.) Ray: (Tenma) I got my *eye* on you! Peter: (Falkyn) Which one?! Ray: (Tenma) Aah! > Falkyn reached for his katana. "Tenma! What do you want?" Egon: (Tenma) You, dead! Now lie down like a good little corpse and let Unkie Tenma hack at you. D: "Unkie" Tenma? Peter: Yes, a term of endearment! Ray: Geez, how about Oji Tenma, GAH! Friggin technical tin can! > Tenma made no move. "I am not here to fight you, Falkyn," he said. Ray: If you're dumb enough to believe that... Winston: Remember, they are. >"If you are going to loot Karados's hoards, then I'm coming with you." > Billy produced a long staff. "Why do you be wantin' to tag along? >Be you man, giant, or what?" Egon: [opens his mouth to speak...] Winston: [glares at Egon and whips out a baseball bat] Egon: [decides to not speak...] > Tenma brought his axe, Satsuu, to bear. "Bakame (Fool). I am >mortal, made of flesh and blood, as you are. VO Tory: I'll SAY! WHOOOOO!!! 0_0 VO Derek: Agh! *THWAP* VO Tory: ITAI! Peter: Bakalava! D: Bakalava? What is that? Peter: Forget it! >But if you even try to reach Karados's hoards, anata shinuwa." He lowered >the giant weapon. "That is why you need me. I know how to disarm traps." Ray: Eh? He's a thief? He doesn't look like one! D: If he were, he would be impossible to miss. > "Please, don't mention arm traps," Falkyn said. "I had a bad >experience with a glowing arm and a door not too long ago." > Egon: Eh? Peter: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ray: (Falkyn) It said it wanted to give me a prostate exam! All: AAAAHHHH! [starts writhing in their seats] VO Derek: ECCHI! VO Tory: Nani? I don't get it! Peter: You wouldn't, because you're a woman! VO Tory: [scanning through dictionary] DEAR GOD! > The four adventurers traveled quickly over the mountains of Zrinth, >then stopped to rest at the border of Kumay. They picked up their journey >the next day, then stopped again, close to what Billy believed to be >Karados's hidden fortress. > Winston: Anyone know where these places are at? Ghostbusters: Uh, no. Winston: Thought so. > Falkyn was shadow-fighting, and Billy was stoking the fire. Tenma >was sharpening his axe, and Li'na was standing, looking up at the stars. >Tenma holstered the mighty weapon, then walked over to her. Peter: Mighty, eh? hint, hint, nudge, nudge! D: I fail to see what you are hinting at. Peter: Good, you shouldn't be able to pick up most of the hentai comments. > "You all right?" he asked. > "I'm fine," Li'na told him. Peter: You sure *are*! Ray: [sighs] D: I have not used the Rocket Fist for some time. Now may be the perfect time to bring it out of retirement. > Tenma shook his head. "No. There's something bothering you. What >is it?" > Li'na turned and looked him in his eye. "Why should I trust you?" > "Hey, I'm not trying to kill you anymore," Tenma said defensively. Egon: (Tenma) Honest! [starts weeping] Peter: (Li'na falsetto) I'm sorry, I'll trust you... Egon: (Tenma) SHI-NE! Peter: (Li'na falsetto) Aah! > Li'na sighed, then looked to Falkyn. "It's Falkyn. He's so cold, Winston: (Li'na falsetto) The bastard always steals the covers at night! >distant. I... well..." > "Don't say anything," Tenma interrupted. "I know. You have to tell >him." Ray: (Tenma) Besides, your breath is *kicking* Egon: I doubt they have toothbrushes. Peter: Speaking of which, how come we say "tooth" and "teeth"...instead of "tooth" and "tooths"? Winston: Kinda like "foot" and "feet" VO Derek: You two need to quit thinking before you hurt yourselves. D: I concur. > "But... whenever I try to, he changes the subject!" Li'na's voice >was shaky. "I want to, but he won't let me!" Ray: Acquaintance rape! Winston: It's always someone you know! VO Tory: You both get a bolt for that! [Two bolts of lightning fall down and zap Winston and Ray] Winston: (slightly charred) Crap! Ray: (same as Winston) Ouch... > Tenma silently nodded. "He's avoiding it. Next time, don't let him; >just come out and say so." Egon: Next on 'Tenma': scarred nomads and the crazy women who love them! Ray: That was harsh. VO Tory: I agree! D: (Jerry Spring audience) Ten-ma! Ten-ma! Ten-ma! > "...Okay. But if that doesn't work, I'm holding you responsible." > Peter: Please, do! You can hold me anyway you can! Winston: Could it be two-handed? Peter: WINSTON! [starts to laugh] Egon: This involves that BSSG incident, doesn't it? Ray: Since they're so busy laughing, yes. Egon: [starts mumbling about test subjects] VO Derek: The next one to refer to BSSG, fries. > Billy got the group to Karados's stronghold in less time than he had >anticipated. Ray: (Billy) Oh, oh! We made it early, now I can go to the bathroom! > "Don't know how to open the bloomin' door," he said. "Bloody thing's >locked somehow." D: Middle-class British citizen. Egon: How can you tell? D: Accent, sanguinary speech. I am considered the android equivalent to Henry Higgins of George Bernard Shaw's "Pygmalion." > Falkyn ran his hand along the stone face. "Just like with the Mahou >no Ken," he said. "Stand back." > He concentrated his chi into his fist. "Sou... Chi... Dan!" Egon: Moo... Goo... Gai... Pan! > After dusting themselves off, the four entered the cave that would >lead them to the stronghold of Karados, and his treasure hordes. > Winston: I swear, the man destroys more doors than a little bit. Peter: Carpenters all over Yakith? Yaki...where ever are starting Unions because of him! D: YahKii. He destroys doors because he is too dense to consider opening them by hand. > "Nobody's been down 'ere in decades," Billy announced. "Don't even >think there're rats down 'ere, or even spiders." Peter: Rats? Spiders? EEEEEYAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! [jumps out his seat onto a ceiling fixture] Egon: Wouldn't you think a psychologist could conquer fear? Winston: This is *Peter* Egon: Oh, yeah! > The only light in the tunnel was that of a branch being used as a >torch, held by Tenma. Falkyn and Li'na had their katana ready, just in case >something had managed to find its way down into the catacombs. > Peter: [from the ceiling] Is it over? Egon: It's over. Peter: Okay! [lets go] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *THUD* Ray: [winces] > "The passage splits off 'ere," Billy said. "Which way d' ye think we >should go?" Ray: The passage that doesn't cause death! > Falkyn's gaze pierced the inky darkness. He looked into the western Egon: (darkness) OUCH! That hurt! Winston: (gaze) Sorry about that! >fork and said, "We go east here. The west is blocked off." > "Blimey. How'd ye know that?" > "Insight." > Egon: More like *hindsight* Ray: You really shouldn't hang with Peter. > As Billy was about to round a corner, Falkyn grabbed his shirt and >pulled him back. > "What the bloody 'ell was that for?" > "Shh." Falkyn carefully peered around the corner, then said, "We're >not alone in here. Gnolls." Egon: Rolls? Winston: Bakery goods are now attacking people? D: Gnolls: 7 1/2 foot tall hyena-men that wield spears. > "Gnolls?" Tenma asked. "Let me at them. I'll carve them up and tear >the flesh from their bones." Peter: (Tenma) Put 'em up...put 'em up! > Falkyn shrugged and let Tenma turn the corner. Within seconds, there >was the sound of the hyena-men attacking, a loud war-cry, and a wet slashing >sound. Ghostbusters: [faces turn a dark shade of green] D: Scratch several gnolls, thanks to the battle-axe "Satsuu". Ray: HARFUU! > Falkyn and Billy looked around. "Gnoll-kebab," Billy commented. "Ye >think there're any more?" > Falkyn shook his head. "Let's go." > Peter: Yeah, screw Tenma. He could be dead for all *you* care! VO Derek: Tory, I swear you say anything in relation to that 'screw' comment, and I will cram something very nasty up a very small hole. VO Tory: YIPE! > Finally, the four spelunkers came to a giant door. "O-kay," Li'na >said, "how do we open this thing?" Egon: (Falkyn) The same way we do every time, Li'na. Ray: (Li'na falsetto) What's that? Egon: (Falkyn) Try to take over the door! > "In this manner." Tenma unsheathed his axe and began chopping at the >door. > Some time later, Tenma had the door ready. "Shall we go?" > "Gladly," Billy said. > Ray: Someone really hates doors... Peter: Probably ran into them as a child. VO Derek: Shaddap before I smite thee! Peter: Whoops! > The adventurers traveled deeper into Karados's stronghold. They came >upon his throne room, which was decorated with nothing, save a tarnished >gold throne, with rotted red velvet cushions. Peter: Ooh, this is the scene from "Interview with the Vampire" When Louis met Armand! Egon: For once I can say this about you: FANBOY!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH! [The others slowly move away from the cackling Egon] Peter: Happy, Egon? Egon: Very! [stupid grin] > Falkyn looked around. "Don't tell me a disembodied voice is going to >ask us a pointless riddle." Ray: (Disembodied voice) Poo on you! > A voice laughed. "Not quite disembodied," it said. Out of the >shadows stepped a frail-looking old man. He wore black robes, his gray hair Winston: Don King is making a cameo apperance! Ray: The man is always willing to make a quick buck! Peter: I swear, he's worse than a prostitute. Egon: You would know about prostitutes... Winston: Man, Egon. That was plain skank! Egon: I know! >was slicked back, he wore a glove on his left hand, and a metal gauntlet on >his right. "Greetings, travelers. I am Karados." All: GYAH! > "Let me guess," Falkyn said. "You've been dead for ages, and you've >been waiting for somebody to possess." Ray: I think it's time for Falkyn to retire. He's starting to guess the action before it happens! D: It just so happens that his adventures seem to be almost carbon-copies, if I may use that expression. > Karados cocked his eyebrow. "Sorry, but no. Actually, I'm still >alive. I've been preserved in cryogenic suspension since I 'died.' Egon: So, you're dead. Don't try to confuse to two! Peter: (Blade) Some Mothafu-- Egon: Shut your mouth! Peter: But, I'm only talking about Karados! >I was rejuvenated when you opened the door into my fortress. Now, you will >pay dearly." Winston: --the hell?! Egon: Do you take Master Card?! > Karados's spell was negated, due to the effects of the Mundane Sword, >held by Li'na. Undaunted, Karados's gauntlet produced two short spears from >the wrist. He laughed and said, "See you when I die!" Ray: That's quite an unusual battle yell. Peter: He's been in 'cryogenic suspension.' The stuff could have rotted his brain. D: You failed to see his gauntlet, I presume. He had two spears attached to compressed-air holsters. > The spears shot off his wrist and tore through the air, aimed for >Falkyn and Li'na. Winston: YES! Egon: You need more private time, don't you? Winston: It's true...I'm going nuts here! Peter: Sorry, you've went! > "Dossei!!!" (Look out) > A blur of motion ensued, and there was the sound of metal driving >into human flesh. Tenma had jumped in front of the group, allowing the >sharp spears to drive themselves into his expansive chest. VO Tory: NOOOOOO, TENMA!!!! [starts weeping] VO Derek: Calm down, he was fictional! Egon: How come people don't push others out the way anymore? What's with this self-sacrifice thing? > While Karados was shocked that his weapons had not served their >purpose, Tenma (with slight difficulty) brought his axe to bear and removed Ray: He has an armed bear?! Peter: GAH!!! Egon: Calm down, I think he means to bare it...or something. Winston: Egon, shut up. VO Derek: Thank you! >the gauntlet from Karados's arm, and the hand inside it. Needless to say, >Karados ended up howling in pain and attempting to stifle the flow of blood. Ray: You don't say?! Winston: I didn't know if you cut someone's arm off they'd scream! Peter: You learn something new every day! > Tenma pulled the bloody spears from his chest, unfazed by the >intense pain of having two sharp objects lodged in his body, then proceeded >to dismantle Karados, piece by piece with a very sharp axe. Ray: (Tenma) La, la, la. Turning person into kibble. La la la! > After reducing Karados to kibble, Tenma collapsed on the stone floor >in a small pool of blood. D: *SPLASH* Egon: That was sick, D. D: I meant *splash* > Li'na ran over to him and turned him onto his back. "Tenma," she >pleaded, "don't die on us. Please, don't die." Egon: Uhoh, another death scene. Winston: Soon they all become the same. Peter: [wiping his eyes] Ray: You're crying?! Peter: No, I'm not! I got dust in my eye...sniff. > "Izure, minna shinundesuyo," (Sooner or later, everyone dies.) Tenma >gasped. "Now, it's my turn. Remember what I told you." He stared upward. Winston: Don't whiz on the electric fence? D: I fail to see the intelligence in that comment. Ray: I don't think there was suppose to be any! >"Ganbatte (Don't give up hope), ah, hikari ga... (the light is...) >Sayonara (Goodbye)." His eyes rolled back, and the blood slowly ceased to >flow. "Asobi wa owari da (The game is over)." His head fell back onto the >stone. Peter: (Captain N) GAME OVER! > Falkyn bowed his head. "Sore ga anata no unmei yo (This is your >fate)." He raised his head and said, "Now, we must find Karados's hoard." > Ray: May Tenma rest in peace. [short pause] Well, that's over. Let's rob the joint! > "Falkyn, I've been meaning to tell you something." Egon: (Li'na falsetto) You have spinach in your teeth, and it's starting to stink! > "What?" Falkyn and Li'na were combing the room for any secret >passages or doors. Winston: I wonder if Falkyn is infatuated with doors? Peter: You never know. Might be a door-fetish? Ray: Think of the splinters! EWWW! Egon: HARF! > "Well, I was talking with Tenma yesterday, and he gave me some advice >he thought would be useful." She approached Falkyn. "Falkyn, I love you." Egon: ARRRRGH! Peter: What?! Egon: How many freaking times must she say 'Falkyn I love you, Falkyn I want you'? Isn't it obvious the man's frigid!? Peter: [raises a dark eyebrow] And what would you know of frigid!? Egon: [turns dark red] Uh, nothing. > Falkyn cocked his eyebrow, then resumed his search. "Koi (love). >That is alien to me. I cannot feel love. I gave it up when I became a >ruthless fighter." Ray: the heck? Didn't he say he loved Li'na before? Peter: And they say women can't make up their minds... D: He is either confused, or he doesn't really want her. Peter: It's his brain. I'm sure his body is telling him GO! > Li'na grabbed his arm, turned him around, and said, "Even if it kills >me, I will find a way for you to return my affection." Peter: Forget him, how about me!? VO Tory: Nobody cares! VO Derek: Amen, sister! Peter: That hurt my feelings! [sniffs] > Falkyn shook his head. "If you try, it will kill you. Iiwane (Is >that clear)?" He resumed the search again. Winston: I guess he got that BOMB A-P! Peter: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Ray: What's that mean? [Peter whispers in Ray's ear] Ray: [turning red] Hehehehehe! Egon: Oh, I get it! [starts to laugh] VO Tory: Winston, you're crazy! [falls out laughing] VO Derek: I don't get it! D: Neither do I, Master. VO Tory: Sigh! [whispers to Derek] VO Derek: Oh my! (*^_^*) > Li'na's visage became distorted with anger. She wanted to give him a >proverbial tongue-lashing, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Peter: 0_0 LASH MEEEEEE! VO Tory: GLADLY! [a whip comes flying down and snaps at Peter] Peter: OOOUUUUCCCCHHHIIIIEEEE!!! I didn't mean in *that* way! VO Tory: Sorry, that's my way of lashing. Ask Egon. Egon: I have nothing to say! > So impetuous, Falkyn thought. But there's something about her, >something that seems to attract me to her. Falkyn shook his head. No, no, >no. It's nothing. Just nothing, that's all. Ray: It's there, in fact it's been *standing* there! Winston: [gasps] Ray: I know, I hang around Peter too much... > Billy paid no heed to the two fighters and continued his search for a >secret door or passage that would lead to Karados's treasures. His hand >brushed across a smooth stone in the rough wall. Ray: (stone) Watch your hands, Pal! > "'ey! I found somethin'!" he called. "Over 'ere!" > The two fighters came over to the wall. Falkyn found the stone and >pushed it into the wall. > Sure enough, the wall slid open, revealing a small oaken chest. >Billy bashed it open with his staff, and found a small note. Egon: To whom it may concern: You're screwed! Love, Egon A. Spengler. Ray: A? What's the A for? Peter: [starts snickering] Egon: Shaddup, Peter! Peter: AMBERCROMBIE! [howls with laughter] > Falkyn took it from the chest and spoke the contents of the note. >"'To whomever finds this: I kept no treasures. I felt no need to accumulate >wealth, and thus, all I have is this fortress, and a few meager possessions. >Those possessions have surely rotted and become useless by now. Sincerely, >Karados.'" Peter: Egon, I'd kick your ass you ever did that. Egon: You couldn't even if you tried! Peter: Oh yeah?! Egon: Yeah! Considering I outweigh you by at least 15 pounds! Peter: I told you to cut out the twinkies! Egon: Keep it up and I'll *cut* you! > Billy nearly broke his staff, smacking it against the wall. "Bloody >'ell! That ol' bastard didn't even have one single copper coin!" Winston: You greedy little imp you! > Falkyn crumpled up the note and tossed it over his shoulder. "Let >us return to Zrinth. There is nothing here anymore." Ray: Exit, stage left even! > As the party left, they neglected to notice Tenma's arm twitch. Ray: Night of the living Tenma! All: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Peter: Tenma R! Egon: Tenma Lives! Winston: Tenma II! VO Tory: Now that was just plain obscure! VO Derek: He's still alive! He thought he died, you all thought he died, but I KNEW he didn't! Mwahahahahahahaha!!! VO Tory: You've been hitting the Nyquil again... [They stand up and trail out] [Door sequence] [6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] D: I think you did pretty well, considering the missed sex scene. Peter: [grim expression] Don't remind me! Egon: Oh yeah, I have to talk to you, Venkman. [Egon pushes the button and starts to cackle madly] [ FWOOOOOOOOOSH! ] \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ -----O----- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ [Screen grows dark, voices are overhead] "Egon, I didn't mean to spill the beans about your middle--ARGH!" "Die, you BASTARD!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!!!" "Winston, DO SOMETHING!" "I'm trying, the man is strong!" "Ray, get the bat!" *BAM* "Aooo!?" *THUD* "He's gonna feel that in the morning!" "He's gonna *kill* us in the morning!" ________________________________________________________________________ "Falkyn, Chapter 11" by: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) SHAMELESS PLUGS: You can find the rest of Falkyn the MSTing at: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com/Falkyn Tory's Real Ghostbusters Webpage: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com Komera Waddi's RPG and Interactive Stories: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Stadium/4989/ EMAIL US! Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) _____________________________________________________________________ > He concentrated his chi into his fist. "Sou... Chi... Dan!" Egon: Moo... Goo... Gai... Pan!