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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things your Characters do if they have Deathwishes
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Tevish Szat
Member
Member # 29534
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posted May 26, 2003 07:26 PM
752. Kill a Bozak (or Kapak) Draconian while they are grappeling you.
753. Attempt to grappel a beholder.
754. When attempting to rescue someone before they are sacrificed to evil god #436, fireball the high preist (Who is standing over the person you intend to rescue)
754. MDJ an artifact.
755. Use the hand or eye of vecna.
756. Throw the pyromancer into fridgd water.
757. Call the Gimli/Flint clone dwarven fighter a ninny.
758. When coming back from an adventure where you were in service of the king, demand hazard pay for when things got ugly... threatingly.
759. Steal the DM's Pixy sticks.
760. Use a rod of wonder as your main method of attack.
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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffeled beneath snow and ice."
VIVA LA REVOLUTION! BOYCOTT 8TH & THE NEW DESIGN!
BRING BACK SUMMON!!! BRING BACK DARK RITUAL!!!
Fey Foundation #55
-Phyrexian Preator(0-0-0, 0 kills), 3 wins in Let's have some FUN! threads, and 6 Black onyx obelisks
-Member of BDD's Elite (2), "We're Elite, You're not."
@=========[[|XX========>>>===X==}===}==}>>>>>
My Battle sword, The Mordaedeloth
From: Phyrexia | Registered: Jun 2001
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Giant Donkey Kong
Member
Member # 142812
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posted May 27, 2003 03:05 AM
68) sell the DM's books to a Gypsy ![[Big Grin]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/biggrin.gif)
69) take off your pants and say your Xtream ![[Eek!]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/eek.gif)
70) send the DMs name adress and phone number to an old man you meet on the net ![[Wink]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/wink.gif)
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MY POSTS HAVE, HAVE HAD, AND ALWAYS WILL HAVE MANY VARIOUS SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ERRORS, GET OVER IT!
From: Canberra | Registered: May 2003
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Giant Donkey Kong
Member
Member # 142812
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posted May 27, 2003 03:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Giant Donkey Kong:
68) sell the DM's books to a Gypsy
69) take off your pants and say your Xtream
70) send the DMs name adress and phone number to an old man you meet on the net
Hay Sorry 'bout the numbers I am drunk
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MY POSTS HAVE, HAVE HAD, AND ALWAYS WILL HAVE MANY VARIOUS SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ERRORS, GET OVER IT!
From: Canberra | Registered: May 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
Member
Member # 135746
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posted May 27, 2003 03:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Giant Donkey Kong:
quote:
Originally posted by Giant Donkey Kong:
68) sell the DM's books to a Gypsy
69) take off your pants and say your Xtream
70) send the DMs name adress and phone number to an old man you meet on the net
Hay Sorry 'bout the numbers I am drunk
So I will fill some numbers.
761) Use the elven rangers precious bow as the fire wood to cook the druids animal companion, which is stuffed with the remindes of the wiz´s familiar and flavored with all your nice potions.
762) Start fighting the Ice-god of your world, just wearing Underpants.
763) On the marrige banquet of the king and queen offer her a neckless of strangulation as a gift.
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Dareon Clearwater
Member
Member # 142807
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posted May 27, 2003 04:01 AM
764: Remark to the fighter Dual Monkey Grip-wielding greatswords: "Nice toothpicks."
765: Summon a fire elemental to light your campfire.
766: When in the lead in a five-foot-wide passage, "accidentally" drop your supply of tanglefoot bags.
767: (True story) When fighting a group of gnolls, Swear you'll send them to meet Yeenoghu. (The fact that most of them were druids should have tipped me they weren't normal gnolls...)
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"Everyone's a critic. That's the third instrument I've lost this week!"
From: Willow, Alaska, USA | Registered: May 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
Member
Member # 135746
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posted May 28, 2003 02:57 AM
171) Use the Armor of the fighter to rub the rost monsters skin
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Gemini
Member
Member # 126880
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posted May 28, 2003 07:27 AM
769) Insist on casting lots of spells in Myth Drannor (or any other wild magic zone)
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Fine, we'll fight your stupid dragon.
My (non-D&D) website:
www.nas-racing.com
From: Colorado Springs | Registered: Feb 2003
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Ganoch_the_Deciever
Member
Member # 142533
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posted May 28, 2003 11:13 AM
770)Actally belive that the D&D movie was good.
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How many boards could the Goblins hoard if the Goblin hordes got bored.
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Dis is for pepol wot kan spel propa
From: 95672356.34th layer of the abyss | Registered: May 2003
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Fearaen
Member
Member # 72831
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posted May 28, 2003 01:53 PM
After the foe you are fighting has killed the strongest member in your party, insult it.
Example: "Oh yeah, why don't you come fight us when the rest of our party is here, wuss."
I did this and the dm was nice enough to only knock me unconsious.
From: Michigan | Registered: Mar 2002
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Tevish Szat
Member
Member # 29534
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posted May 30, 2003 08:53 PM
772. Fight with the other PCs
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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffeled beneath snow and ice."
VIVA LA REVOLUTION! BOYCOTT 8TH & THE NEW DESIGN!
BRING BACK SUMMON!!! BRING BACK DARK RITUAL!!!
Fey Foundation #55
-Phyrexian Preator(0-0-0, 0 kills), 3 wins in Let's have some FUN! threads, and 6 Black onyx obelisks
-Member of BDD's Elite (2), "We're Elite, You're not."
@=========[[|XX========>>>===X==}===}==}>>>>>
My Battle sword, The Mordaedeloth
From: Phyrexia | Registered: Jun 2001
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Mab_Deno
Member
Member # 139465
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posted May 31, 2003 12:04 AM
(773) Pull the obvious Big, Red, Shiney lever with careless abandon.
From: Dunedin NZ | Registered: May 2003
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kilo666
Member
Member # 138559
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posted May 31, 2003 08:26 AM
774) as a low level cleric, get into trouble you have no chance of escaping from. When asked what the hell you are doind, respond that your god will protect me and intevine.
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"sir snugglesworth demands worshipers!! Bow before his omnipitence!!!"
Registered: Apr 2003
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Niglemaz
Member
Member # 143063
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posted May 31, 2003 11:12 AM
775) Use an Apparatus of Kwalish for the first time right next to a cliff.
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Swords are the Coolest Foundation Member #18
Registered: May 2003
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Rell Canis
Member
Member # 68051
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posted May 31, 2003 12:14 PM
776) Enroll as a dentist for the Tarrasque
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Make Lovecraft, not Warcraft (I'd like to know who was the first to say that...)
From: Paris, France | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ganoch_the_Deciever
Member
Member # 142533
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posted May 31, 2003 12:29 PM
777) Say to the Famine Spirit "I bet you cant eat the WHOLE party"
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How many boards could the Goblins hoard if the Goblin hordes got bored.
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Dis is for pepol wot kan spel propa
From: 95672356.34th layer of the abyss | Registered: May 2003
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Niglemaz
Member
Member # 143063
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posted May 31, 2003 12:42 PM
778) Try using Use Magic Device on -any- and -every- magic device, no matter what.
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Swords are the Coolest Foundation Member #18
Registered: May 2003
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TheLastEnding
Member
Member # 143289
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posted May 31, 2003 05:50 PM
779: Insist that you attack the greater being (DM) and roll a naturel 20
800: Attack every deity or demi-deity you meet (asuming you meet them)
801: attack any arch-devils or demon princes you meet
802: Insult every arch-devil orr demon prnices you meet
803: call an inevitable a slaad and vice-versa
804: call the inevitable a lawless rouge
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I am invisable....sort of.
Life is an Ilusion.
I am invinablargh....
Registered: May 2003
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Dell Kallyan
Member
Member # 134084
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posted June 01, 2003 09:49 AM
Wow, were getting close to 1000, I remember when the list just started... memories.
805: As a wizard, cast Dwamjii's Instant Recall on a powder keg, then teleport inside a red/gold dragon's mouth (or other flame breathing dragon) and recall the powder keg. BOOOOOM (lol, that would be so funny!!!!)
806: Make a group that is an exact rip off of the group in "Addicted to fireball..." Like they would survive the first session...
807: As a bard, become an exact rip off of Jerry Seinfeld, become really famous and attract extraplanar audiences, and make your opening joke "So, how about those demons. They sure like killing stuff." *Balor shoots a fireball at him*
808: Make a character with extreme flatulence problems and blame it on the druid's companions, or just say "whoever smelt it delt it". If no druid is present, blame the dwarf or half orc. If there arent any, blame any elven wizards or female characters.
809: Play a noble from a rich part of the city, goto the slum area of that city and say youre from the streets, aighhht. When beaten up by thugs and robbed, proceed to follow them around and call them your homies. When they beat you up some more, start kicking yourself.
810: Make a paladin who runs around with detect evil constantly on, then proceed to attack any evil people you meet. You're bound to make powerful enemies that way!
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I think therefore I am... I think." -Nordom the Modron, Planscape Torment
From: New York | Registered: Mar 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
Member
Member # 135746
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posted June 03, 2003 03:18 AM
811) As a 1st Level dwarven fighter, try learning top-rope-walking by using an active volcano as your training ground.
812) If you survive it, do it in your full battle gear.
813) If you survive 812, drink 20 gallons of dark beer and do it again.
814) If you survive 813, fill the barrels with smoke powder and retry.
815) If you survive 814, do it all again and fight a great red wyrm by the way.
If you survive all these, Moradin must have smithed you from pure adamantit. ![[bow]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/bow.gif)
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Fernandes
Member
Member # 50977
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posted June 03, 2003 06:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Dell Kallyan:
805: As a wizard, cast Dwamjii's Instant Recall on a powder keg, then teleport inside a red/gold dragon's mouth (or other flame breathing dragon) and recall the powder keg. BOOOOOM (lol, that would be so funny!!!!)
Ironicly enough, i did that once (Actually, it was a 10-ton vat of alchamist's fire, but whatever). The only difference is that i used ellemental immunity first.
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~ Andrew David Fernandes
Member of the High Magic Foundation
Member of the D&D Strategy Foundation
Welcome to the World of Greyhawk!
I am a Sig virus. Please include me in your sig so that i can continue to replicate!
From: Montréal | Registered: Nov 2001
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Erus
Member
Member # 140857
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posted June 03, 2003 10:01 AM
816) Touch the alter...
817) Disbelieve!
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(...side note: I am aware that I spell like a drunken 5th grader)
From: diggin' me a pit... | Registered: May 2003
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The Ultimate Dragongod
Member
Member # 93982
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posted June 03, 2003 10:19 AM
818) Use the Deck of Many Things
819) Get hostile toward a celestial
820) Assume that everything you encounter will fall to your might (of course the DM wouldn't let a beholder attack us, we're only 5th level. I will never run!!)
821) Use Magic Item on an artifact.
822) Use Mordenkainen's Disjunction on someone who is near or higher your level. Expect death threats.
823) Blaspheme (in a world with gods for everything, that actually manifest, I don't think so!!)
824) Be someone who DM's me horribly, then becomes one of my players.
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Foolish mortals, I will knock you down!
-Lich, the Earth Fiend
The Most Complicated Bard Mod Ever!
Mr. Shadowfoot's New Core Classes
Non Prestige Classes Foundation
Registered: Jul 2002
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kilo666
Member
Member # 138559
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posted June 03, 2003 05:25 PM
825) metagame, and make horrible reasons why your character would know this. ie; "of course my half-orc barbarian would know that rust monsters eat metal, and would throw his dagger at it and run like a girl. its common knowledge!"
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"sir snugglesworth demands worshipers!! Bow before his omnipitence!!!"
Registered: Apr 2003
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Darth K'Trava
Member
Member # 99599
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posted June 03, 2003 08:20 PM
826) Annoy the party cleric with jokes about his sleeping with a female acolyte near his age (actually happened last session)
827) Peeve off the party cleric with snide comments concerning his god (been there, done that. But to get the player to roleplay)
828) Do something evil in front of that paladin of Heironieous.
829) Get a girl from the local brothel and make out on the altar at a local temple to a good god.
830) When doing #829, make sure ALL the priests are there for morning services.
831) Call the party fighter a wuss.
832) Call the paladin an evil-doer.
833) Steal the paladin's special mount. Right from under his nose.
834) Tell the paladin that he would rape his own mother just to get ahead in life.
835) Charge an orcwort the second time after getting healed by the cleric. (actually happened. The fighter died the second time)
836) Fight the evil demigod with only 50-some hit points.
837) While fighting said demigod, end up possessed and charge the party cleric. (both actually happened. Fighter got possessed, and got slashed in half by my cleric when he ran at her. He hit her for massive damage but she had more hitpoints at the time.... he died. Again.)
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Member of the Iconic Character Fanclub # 000003
Evil will be dealt with swiftly as it is my duty to remove such evil from my presence.
-Rozhena, Cleric/Divine Champion of Torm
You'd better watch out, paladin, 'cause I'll be watching your back to make sure you don't screw up!!!- Kendrick Tallen'Drel to Vallidus after finding out he's become a paladin.
So what do you do to worship Pelor? Go out and get sunburnt???- Keldaren to Elwin the cleric of Pelor
From: Archdale, NC | Registered: Aug 2002
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Giantslayer
Member
Member # 44479
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posted June 04, 2003 09:49 AM
Play as THIS build...
=) it's suicidal at it's worst...
CYa
-Me
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You only need three things in life..
Beer, a fight and a cute girl... not necessarily in any given order...
-Me(giantslayer)
From: Sweden | Registered: Sep 2001
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