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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things your Characters do if they have Deathwishes
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Little_Green_Fighter
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Member # 135746
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posted May 07, 2003 02:41 AM
693) Actully try sleeping with ghosts.
694) get really many magical things, ten rings, 12 amulettes, cloaks.....and take them with you in a wild magic area. *fizzel*
695) try to fly magical as high as you can, and then try to pass a dead magic area.
[ May 20, 2003, 03:15 AM: Message edited by: Little_Green_Fighter ]
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Asta Kask
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Member # 126347
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posted May 07, 2003 03:06 AM
696) Summon a Balor and when he asks "What is thy bidding?" ask "What is a good ryme for goose?"
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- Who is John Galt?
From: Göteborg | Registered: Feb 2003
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Boudewijn Brendergast
Member
Member # 136655
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posted May 07, 2003 03:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Asta Kask:
696) Summon a Balor and when he asks "What is thy bidding?" ask "What is a good ryme for goose?"
696a Planar bind (greater version) a balor and only release it when it's given the rhyme (in the same language) for that one word that does NOT rhyme with anything else in that language (forgot which it was in Dutch)
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Save the Core Paladin Foundation Member #0000101
From: Wageningen, the Netherlands | Registered: Apr 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
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Member # 135746
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posted May 20, 2003 03:20 AM
697) Try to learn swimming-With full battle gear in a really fast floating mountain river.
698) If you meet the god of bards, tell him that his music sounds like maiting orcs. ![[Eek!]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/eek.gif) ![[Mad]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/mad.gif)
699) Smear something sticky ( Coke, Limonade,...) over the books of your DM.
700) Go to the Abyss in order to find a quite place to think
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Otaku Ashram
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Member # 125358
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posted May 21, 2003 12:52 AM
701. Play a Sorcerer. When fighting a level 20 vampire Fighter with no weaknesses and a low divine rank known for grappling and choking his enemies, teleport yourself and him away from the other party members and fight him one on one. (I did this and survived...somehow.)
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"If you can't beat 'em, hire me and I'll beat 'em."
From: Rio Rancho, NM | Registered: Feb 2003
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Master_of_Sarcasm
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Member # 139988
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posted May 21, 2003 06:23 PM
702.) Arm-wrrestle a Grey Render
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If you need to escape from trouble, simply...Hey, look over there!
Registered: May 2003
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Ultimate PC
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Member # 121222
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posted May 21, 2003 06:36 PM
703. Use fireball to open every door that might or might not be locked all the time. Even if you are in a friends home.
704.Kill all fuzzy and cute animals without hesitation in an elf forest or in a druids groove. Tell them they creep you out.
705. Everytime a Dm tells you this might get you killed do it anyway without hestitation.
706. Swim naked in a dragon's hoard of gold.
707. Ask elf gods silly questions like why do elves have pointed ears and no pubic hair. Smile and wait for an answer.
708. Cheat at a drinking game with a dwarf god then admit it to him after.
709. Some how through divine intervention freeze a layer of hell then go sledding in it.
710. Play a fighter class and try to disarm every trap.
Registered: Jan 2003
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Ancient Wyrm
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Member # 102587
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posted May 21, 2003 07:56 PM
711) As an archer, shoot out a beholder's eye... its telekinesis eye.
712) As a frenzied berserker, visit the banquet hall of your Thor-knockoff god, and try to perform that stab-the-table-between-your-fingers trick.
713) Go skeet-shooting: you're the clay pigeon, and your friend with the wand of feather fall is the shooter.
714) Mage hand an executioner's mask off. Repeatedly. When tied and gagged on the chopping block, continue with stilled, silenced versions of the spell.
715) Challenge a drunken master to a drinking contest. Lead him to a stable and sit down beside a trough, staring at him expectantly.
716) As a monk, loudly insist to every NPC, and I mean every NPC, that he, she, or it doesn't exist and that reality is just an illusion. Refuse to "give the illusion validation" by interacting with anything.
717) Play basketball with a sphere of annihilation.
718) Dominate as many monsters as possible and use them as furniture in your sanctum.
719) Create a 20th-level PC. Use your entire 760,000 gp starting gold to buy dull grey ioun stones. Claim they're the best magic items in existence because they're weapons, armor, and clothing all in one. Demonstrate your point by not wearing any clothes.
[ May 21, 2003, 08:28 PM: Message edited by: Ancient Wyrm ]
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The Voice of the Wyrms to the Council of Archmages
PrCs:
The KNIGHT OF MORE HALL
The MONITOR
The WIELDER OF AN ARTIFACT
From: U.S.A. | Registered: Aug 2002
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Bedevere
Member
Member # 123293
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posted May 22, 2003 01:38 AM
720) Annoy your DM by casting Antimagic field, and then starting a game of 'Beholder Soccer'. ![[Devilish]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/diablo.gif)
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Reality is a reference point, not a limitation.
Creator of the 'polymorph self' your familiar alliance.
From: UK - Devon | Registered: Jan 2003
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Ashaman Joe
Member
Member # 131013
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posted May 22, 2003 08:35 PM
721) When playing in Ravenloft, play an 'Detect Evil and Smite' type Paladin. Nevermind that you have Detect Chaos.
722) Bring a deck of Muchkin Cards, then insist on having them in the game. Try and fight the Plutonium Dragon with a +3 Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment
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Studies have shown that 1 in 4 people in this country need psychological help. And of these, 1 in 10 of them is violently hostile. These are the ones who go into schools and just open up on people. So, about 1 in 40... There are about 60 people on the roll for this class, and I have the best viewpoint of all of you. If I suddenly stop the lecture and dive under the podium, it might be in your best interest to do the same...
World Lit
Univ. of Southern Mississippi, Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Registered: Mar 2003
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GopherKing
Member
Member # 142113
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posted May 23, 2003 12:03 PM
723) give the drow a bottle of suntan lotion
724) threaten the iron golem with a screw driver
725)offer the torrasque riding titan tea and crumpets
726)use the clerics holy mace as bottle rocket
727)hug the willo wisp cause its o so fluffy
728)substitute the half orc barbs pillow with said willo wisp
729)"accidentally" spoon the half orc barb in your sleep
730) use mage hand to make odd jerking motions in the crotch of the dwarfs pants while talking to the half orc barb.. ![[Dropjaw]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/dropjaw.gif)
731) ask the hill giant if hes just compensating for something
732) tell the nymph to remove the blindfold this time..
733)respond to every question with "it is the will of yevon"(FFX joke) or just scream "ZOLTAN!!!"(dude wheres my car)
[ May 23, 2003, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: GopherKing ]
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read my lips! I hear its amazing when the famous stuffed midget in the flap-jack space-panda outfit with the turning fork does a raw blink on hari-kiri rock after a thunderbolt on cheeks of doom, followed by some tai-chi at the bottom of my gums. I need scissors!! 61!! I SAID 61!-MSG2& me
Registered: May 2003
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MasterCorwin
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Member # 141495
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posted May 23, 2003 03:57 PM
#734 Challenge a NILBOG to a sword fight in a blade barrier. ![[Razz]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/tongue.gif)
From: NE Ohio USA | Registered: May 2003
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Ancient Wyrm
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Member # 102587
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posted May 23, 2003 06:21 PM
735) As a paladin, include in your oath of chivalry never to allow a person to die in your sight. Then close your eyes and start swinging.
736) Try to steak a vampire. :groan:
737) Introduce a red dragon to the gift of propane.
738) As a bullywug, try to bungee jump with your own tongue.
739) Buy adamantine underclothes.
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The Voice of the Wyrms to the Council of Archmages
PrCs:
The KNIGHT OF MORE HALL
The MONITOR
The WIELDER OF AN ARTIFACT
From: U.S.A. | Registered: Aug 2002
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8infinity8
Member
Member # 130696
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posted May 23, 2003 06:40 PM
740)moon the vampire
741)moon some other powerfull monster
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"am like a hero with no power or motdivation"
-Unknown
From: Guess, you problaly can't | Registered: Mar 2003
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ah my swords on fire
Member
Member # 129476
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posted May 24, 2003 04:06 AM
696a Planar bind (greater version) a balor and only release it when it's given the rhyme (in the same language) for that one word that does NOT rhyme with anything else in that language (forgot which it was in Dutch)
Example orange,purple ,voltzwagon ![[Wink]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/wink.gif) ![[ROFL]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/roflmao.gif) ![[Bounce]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/jump.gif) ![[Crowd]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/invasion.gif)
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"Are you a magical, spell casting Dire Weasel?"
"D'oh! How did you know?"
"The pointy hat gave it away"
He's as strong as ten men, I just wish we could get him to use the POINTY end of the sword
Scribed inside a the spellbook the party just looted.
"Roses are red,
Violets cost more,
Have you ever read,
Explosive Runes before?"
BOOM!!!
From: Currently sharing flat with elminster | Registered: Feb 2003
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Mergandisevender
Member
Member # 129778
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posted May 24, 2003 05:25 PM
Pull.. Full..
Orange? I suppose a Nonce Word is acceptable, such as the Balor saying "Orange you glad I didn't slay you like a Borange?"
Flagon.. Gone..
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"What a shock, a thread on the Metaboard falling victem to boards disruption and spamming."
-WizO_Sith
Trebek: Moving on, Mr. Logan, your answer was...I can't quite make out what you wrote.
Logan: It's the ancient symbol of Bogreb, The Ancient God of the Press Your Luck Whammies.
From: Carceri | Registered: Feb 2003
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Massimiliano I. Dimitriov
Member
Member # 133769
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posted May 24, 2003 06:58 PM
"...kiss a lich..."-Elminster (as Elmara)
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spiffy signature
From: GWAR-town, if you know where that is, you rock!! | Registered: Mar 2003
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Prgrmr@wrk
Member
Member # 136157
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posted May 25, 2003 06:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ashaman Joe:
722) Bring a deck of Muchkin Cards, then insist on having them in the game. Try and fight the Plutonium Dragon with a +3 Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment
What's the half life of a plutonium dragon? PLus, a "Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment" wouldn't work on a Plutonium Dragon, since it sounds like that sort of creature wouldn't have an anatomy for the Bloody Dismemberment enchantment to work on (like crits, sneak attack, etc).
[ May 25, 2003, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: Prgrmr@wrk ]
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D&D has absolutely nothing to do with devil worshiping. But as long as that rumor keeps bible thumpers from trying to convert the D&D rules to fit their religion, I'm happy.
I'd be lawful neutral if it wasn't for lightning bolts, and my rage problem.
From: Middleton, NS, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003
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Malfecto
Member
Member # 140192
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posted May 25, 2003 07:46 AM
742) Mistake a psychic chirurgeon for a barber and ask him to take a little off the top.
Registered: May 2003
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Safti
Member
Member # 137491
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posted May 25, 2003 11:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Prgrmr@wrk:
What's the half life of a plutonium dragon?
*grooooooan*
743. With a necklace of fireballs, take out the entirety of the BG's cannon fodder - except for those wooden golems with bows in the back. They won't aim at you, now that you've combusted the only things getting in the way of them shooting at you . . .
744. When the druid's animal companion dies, try to put things into perspective. "It's all right, it's not like it was a real person."
744a) Give aforementioned druid a bouqet of hand-picked flowers.
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"Writing is like forcing two crank-enhanced weasels covered with margarine and put into seperate socks to mate.
Did I mention that they're male weasels?" - hyalin
From: The Great White North | Registered: Apr 2003
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MageofMyth
Member
Member # 4851
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posted May 25, 2003 06:35 PM
745. Anounce to the DM, after they have ran 3 sessions around your character, and you are in a dungeon that you know will give you an artifact sword. That you are thinking about changing characters, because you have become bored with it. (True story, I almost killed the player, yes the player not the character.)
From: East Flat Rock, NC 28726 | Registered: Mar 2001
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Tevish Szat
Member
Member # 29534
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posted May 25, 2003 07:01 PM
746. Wish for something ambiguously... Eternal life(Effected by imprisonment)... infinite power(You explode)... infinite wealth(crushed under a mountain of gold)...
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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffeled beneath snow and ice."
VIVA LA REVOLUTION! BOYCOTT 8TH & THE NEW DESIGN!
BRING BACK SUMMON!!! BRING BACK DARK RITUAL!!!
Fey Foundation #55
-Phyrexian Preator(0-0-0, 0 kills), 3 wins in Let's have some FUN! threads, and 6 Black onyx obelisks
-Member of BDD's Elite (2), "We're Elite, You're not."
@=========[[|XX========>>>===X==}===}==}>>>>>
My Battle sword, The Mordaedeloth
From: Phyrexia | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lilavati
Member
Member # 142588
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posted May 25, 2003 07:48 PM
271a: Use 'rape' as an attack action when the DM is female
--Lilavati
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--Lilavati
There are three things in this world that are real and permanent: God, human folly and laughter. Since the first two are utterly beyond our understanding, we shall have to make due with the third.
From: Chicago | Registered: May 2003
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Lilavati
Member
Member # 142588
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posted May 25, 2003 08:27 PM
747: Upon discovering an omnious black obilisk covered with unreadable runes, in an unknown language, placed in unexplored mountains by anunknown (but clearly highly magically advanced) culture, that has a distinct magical aura . . , do everything you can think of to activate it so you can 'find out what it does'
(One of my players did this, resulting in a memorable quote. Says the half black dragon fighter (in a calm, dignified and yet deeply threatening tone of voice) to the high elf sorerer who was determined to play with the oblilisk: 'Please do not activate the artifact')
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--Lilavati
There are three things in this world that are real and permanent: God, human folly and laughter. Since the first two are utterly beyond our understanding, we shall have to make due with the third.
From: Chicago | Registered: May 2003
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Prgrmr@wrk
Member
Member # 136157
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posted May 26, 2003 06:34 PM
744b: When the druid's animal companion dies, cook it. Offer a piece to the druid, commenting on how surprisingly juicy it is.
744c: Have it stuffed and the head mounted on your shield.
748: Invent sword-chucks.
749: Refer to the lich as 'that wrinkly guy'.
750: Tell the wizard his dress makes his butt look big. Also works if the wizard turns out to be a girl.
751: Refuse to deal with any NPC's, because they're probably polymorphed wizards.
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D&D has absolutely nothing to do with devil worshiping. But as long as that rumor keeps bible thumpers from trying to convert the D&D rules to fit their religion, I'm happy.
I'd be lawful neutral if it wasn't for lightning bolts, and my rage problem.
From: Middleton, NS, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003
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