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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things your Characters do if they have Deathwishes
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Spidey42
Member
Member # 109539
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posted April 23, 2003 11:17 AM
439) When you get a ring of wishes or a wish spell, wish for a new DM. (True story)
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Derail (phoning his Lonestar contact) - "They! There is a bomb in the Seattle Stadium.
Lonestar officer - "And what proof do you have of this?"
Derail - "Well, we broke into this guys place and found... well... we didn't really break in... we...kind of... aww damn it!"
From: Yorkton | Registered: Oct 2002
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Faustius
Member
Member # 103903
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posted April 23, 2003 05:51 PM
440) Use a planar binding spell to call an efreet, and ask him to use his wishes to make you smarter.
441) cast guards and wards in the knig's castle as a prank.
From: the burning realm of Palmdale | Registered: Aug 2002
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Evil Wizard
Member
Member # 123788
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posted April 24, 2003 12:26 AM
442) Draw 11 times from the Deck of Many Things. I saw this happen. I still can't believe he walked away from it, either.
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Need a monster race for your PC? More monsters than you can shake an arrow of slaying at.
Save the Core Paladin Foundation Member #0000078
"If someone asks you if you're a god... you say YES!!!"
- Ghostbusters
From: My secret demiplane of EVIL | Registered: Jan 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
Member
Member # 135746
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posted April 29, 2003 01:51 AM
443) Jump nacked and socked with blood into a herd of Carian crawlers.
444) Insult every godlike entity everywhere.
PS: Please stop with this DM-Girlfriend-stuff. I think everybody got your point. ![[Bored]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/dozey.gif)
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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Gilead
Member
Member # 137537
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posted April 30, 2003 06:11 AM
Charge a slightly weakened marilith at 2nd level
Oh wait! I did that! And lived!
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Remember kids! Bag over the head, THEN inhale!
From: A long long time ago... in a galaxy far far away | Registered: Apr 2003
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Inkubus
Member
Member # 128277
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posted April 30, 2003 06:33 AM
Here's what got players in my old group killed.
445) Tell an archmage to kiss your ass.
446) Hug a gold wyrm telling him he is so cute and shiny. After the party saved you try the same thing with an ancient black dragon some while later.
447) Sneak into a Lolth temple and urinate onto a sacred altar of Lolth in the Underdark.
448) Drink all the potions you find at once and altogether (in 2e this was hilarious with the table that said what happens when you mix potions...)
449) Continuously make fun of the god of fire while being inside a dungeon located in a huge volcano.
450) Open rope tricks inside of a rope trick.
451) Try to talk the evil vampire lord who is just attacking your party into stopping the nonsense and rather being your new cohort.
452) Put on every magical ring you find right away.
453) Have a bath in a pool of greenslime even though you know it's not just green water.
Sadly, all this really happened...
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
From: Germany | Registered: Feb 2003
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piwi
Member
Member # 125405
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posted April 30, 2003 07:31 AM
454. chop a tree in front of a treeant
455. Tell your DM that his dead grandma looks likes the zombie in the mm
456. Be a rouge and tell a samurai he's lying
457. Brake a samurai's sword and say oops
458. Be mean to your dice
459. Tell a drow to stop "bugging" me
460. tell your dm that his girlfriend looks like a zombie and that he has taken her to the game to add some reallisme
461.try to sell a book of vile darkness to youre paladin
462. Tell a dwarf he must shave himself
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Elf foundation member nr #17
Fey foundation member nr #48
Dwarf foundation member nr #6
From: Netherlands | Registered: Feb 2003
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SirGriz
Member
Member # 126132
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posted April 30, 2003 11:02 AM
quote:
277: Replace the mage's spell component's with dirt(Or cow dung), and the cleric's holy water with urine.
Oh good. Bull's strength...
Here are some of my suicide ideas.
463. Dumb characters: Try to 'help' whenever possible, even though the character is too dumb to get it done right.
464. Smart characters: Create overly complex plans. Make sure it'll end up getting everyone killed.
465. Call an ogre 'Baby Fangs'.
466. Always hit on the high priestess or archmage's extremely young and hot apprentice.
467. When said priestess or mage objects, say "Get in line. Plenty of me to go around!"
468. Give all monsters cute and cuddly nicknames, ie: a Zombie named 'Hugo' (our nickname for the zombies on Resident Evil).
469. Always say "I'm on to you!" to allies and NPC's... especially royalty, guild masters, BBEG's, etc.
470. Take something from the thief, and say "You missing something?" while dangling the item up to his or her nose.
471. Be an elf, and hit on the dwarf.
472. Be a dwarf, and hit on the elf.
473. When hitting on a species with animosity towards each other, make sure they are the same gender.
474. Go back to old insider game jokes. Beat them like a dead horse.
475. Beat the paladin's dead horse after it was slain in battle.
476. Roast wizard's familiar for dinner.
477. Roast druid's pets for dinner.
478. Roast halfling or gnome for dinner (the gnome part was true).
479. Go to druid's grove. Bring with you a BIG bag of salt. Dump salt all over grove. Add water to allow salt to soak into ground. Watch as grove is turned sterile.
480. Announce your intentions to backstab the party immediately.
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Grizzleface (Griz MacAllen)
Level 6 Scottish Fighter, Level 2 Celtic Barbarian.
Strength: 18
Dexterity: 14
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 13
Charisma: 8
Hit Points: 69
Experience: 28606
Weapon of Choice: Bastard Sword
Damn proud member of the Scotsman's Guild! Member #0000001, level 2 Scotsman.
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Feb 2003
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kilo666
Member
Member # 138559
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posted April 30, 2003 03:50 PM
481) As any class other then barb, say you are going into a rage whenever you take damage. works really well if you are a wizard.
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"sir snugglesworth demands worshipers!! Bow before his omnipitence!!!"
Registered: Apr 2003
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Trogdor
Member
Member # 131309
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posted April 30, 2003 09:59 PM
482) Assault the Gazebo ![[Devilish]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/diablo.gif)
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~~~All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~~~
Registered: Mar 2003
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Bedevere
Member
Member # 123293
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posted May 01, 2003 01:10 AM
Attack the epic troll barbarian with fast healing
At first level.
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Reality is a reference point, not a limitation.
Creator of the 'polymorph self' your familiar alliance.
From: UK - Devon | Registered: Jan 2003
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LordFrostbite
Member
Member # 117928
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posted May 01, 2003 12:31 PM
666: Have sex with the high preistes of the god of desiease ![[Bounce]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/jump.gif)
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High Arch-Mage Of Music & Emotions
ALL MEAN PEOPLE SHALL SUFFER AT MY HANDS!
Dragons are Cooler than Everyone Else Foundation #00000015
Power Gamers Foundation: Founder
Elf foundation member: #00000014
Goblinoid Foundation Memember:
#00000032
Save the Good Necromancer foundation Member #00000013
Brotherhood of Evil Munchkins
Member #00000009
High Magic Foundation #00000024
Give us more fey foundation #000666
Registered: Dec 2002
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kilo666
Member
Member # 138559
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posted May 02, 2003 07:49 PM
kick everyone and everything. Town guard, epic wizards, cats, kegs of oil of impact...
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"sir snugglesworth demands worshipers!! Bow before his omnipitence!!!"
Registered: Apr 2003
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Psander
Member
Member # 135588
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posted May 02, 2003 08:10 PM
667: Wink at everyone and everything, adding "If you catch me drift," after every sentance.
668: Ask the half=-orc what the other half was; dwarf or elf?
669: Any people you meet in dark alleys attack at once and kill, not listening to a word they say.
670: Attempt an assassination on the leader of every town, and, when caught, get dragged away kicking your heels and screaming, "I know who you are! Maybe we didn't get you this time, but we'll get you next time, villain!"
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"Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind." ~Jakalo
From: New England | Registered: Apr 2003
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Orcy The Green Wonder
Member
Member # 129823
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posted May 02, 2003 08:46 PM
671: Curse a wizard so that after every sentance he says he has to say "in accordance with the prophecy" and laugh.
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Orcy the Green Wonder: Fighter 20/Knight Von Drache 10/Green Wonder 10
Green and Wonderous I am!
Half-Orc Foundation Member 2
Goblinoid Foundation member 31
All Races foundation member 4
Nothing Sucks Foundation member 0000115
The Dangers of Healing Potions
From: Liverpool, NY | Registered: Feb 2003
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EldonG
Member
Member # 133826
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posted May 03, 2003 09:18 AM
672: In an effort to escape the wrath of (insert big, bad, nasty evil thing here), jump into the party portable hole...without remembering to remove the...bag...of...holding...on your hip... ![[Dropjaw]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/dropjaw.gif)
[ May 03, 2003, 09:19 AM: Message edited by: EldonG ]
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Nothing Sucks Foundation Member 0000143
Registered: Mar 2003
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WizO_Winter
Member # 49801
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posted May 04, 2003 03:50 AM
I've trimmed some posts from this topic. Please keep it clean folks.
Thanks. :-)
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Winnebago!
(but only with a tennis court on top)
Registered: Nov 2001
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needleman
Member
Member # 55586
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posted May 04, 2003 08:04 AM
679) >>LINK<<
680) Make inane suggestions, such as, "If my character taped five tower shields to himself, he could have full cover from all directons!
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Quote of the whenever:
"...So shall you hear
Of carnal, bloody, and unnatural acts,
Of accidental judgements, casual slaughters,
Of deaths put on by cunning and forced cause,
And, in this upshot, purposes mistook,
Fallen on the inventors' heads."
-Shakespeare, Hamlet
Registered: Dec 2001
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Uncle_Istvun
Member
Member # 129865
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posted May 04, 2003 06:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Trogdor:
482) Assault the Gazebo
How dare you take my idea!!!
681) Put on the head of Vecna
682) Insult the cleric's god when you're at 20 hps
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Please click on this link. It is for a MMORPG. It would really help me out! Thanks!
http://go.everwars.com/play.x?p=1578
Registered: Feb 2003
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Little_Green_Fighter
Member
Member # 135746
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posted May 06, 2003 06:02 AM
683) In front of a hostile wizard of at lest 6th level say: "let it burn!" when you have over a dozen Alchemists fire in your pockets.
684) Slay your paladinīs mount your self by kicking it.
685) Feed the party member who carries all good potions to the dragon.
686) Cook a soup out of our groups potions, the shorts of the barbarian, the familiar of the wizard, the things the dwarf had in his beard and the companion of the druid. Tell them the recipe after eating! ![[Eek!]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/eek.gif) ![[ROFL]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/roflmao.gif) ![[Mad]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/mad.gif) ![[Angel]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/angel.gif)
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A better place to mail me: [email protected]
Trust me, I am your DM!
So hear it not player for it is a knell,
that summons thee to heaven or to hell!
So says the green knight and so it is written!
From: Germany | Registered: Apr 2003
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cultjake
Member
Member # 106413
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posted May 06, 2003 07:34 AM
687. Druids: shapechange into a bear in the middle of the big city
688. Fighters (esp high level): "That's it, from now on, I'm a Monk!"
689. Clerics: misbehave and refuse atonement
690. Wizards: "@$^$#, I left my components at home!"
691. Barbarians: be sad instead of angry
692. Sorcerers and Rogues: "That's it, from now on, I'm the tank!"
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Jesus Saves - Roll for Initiative
Addicted to Fireball 0000012
From: PHILA | Registered: Sep 2002
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Felle Di'Arnyar
Member
Member # 112243
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posted May 06, 2003 09:09 AM
6--) Attack a camp of fifty well armoured (doppelganger) fighters and a (I'm guessing here -the encounter happened today, and it ain't resolved yet) Pit Fiend on your own. When level 5.
(The character in question was lifted a hundred feet into the air, and dismembered. And then illuminated for the rest of the party to see - it was night time. Oops.)
From: England | Registered: Nov 2002
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AshOfPelor
Member
Member # 138393
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posted May 06, 2003 11:26 AM
When faced with a gap to cross, instead of relying on a rope (which could ALWAYS break), simply toss you're gear to the other side and run and jump to cross to the other side. Disregard the distance as you tell yourself you are no longer weighed down with your gear and therefore much lighter and should be able to jump any distance imagineable. (I know this conflicts with rules on weights and limits of jumping, but as this IS a roleplaying game; who's to say it can't be tried?)
From: Lafayette | Registered: Apr 2003
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