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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things your Characters do if they have Deathwishes
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Verenal
Member
Member # 97848
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posted April 11, 2003 10:52 AM
133)Invent sword-chucks.
134)Wield your newly invented sword-chucks.
135)Decide that your purpose in life should be about killing random things that you meet.
136)Tell Orcus where he can stick his wand.
137)Tell the gods they sucks.
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(sorry 'bout possible typos)
If it is broken, fix it.
If it isn't, tinker it until it breaks.
From: Finland | Registered: Jul 2002
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Trueman
Member
Member # 135568
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posted April 11, 2003 02:29 PM
138)Summon a fire god because it's cold.
139)Make similarly bad jokes about said god as in Austin Powers when the guy falls into the lava.
140)Take the hobbit's food away
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The touch of death has a chocolate centre...i've seen it
From: Bridlington, UK | Registered: Apr 2003
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Evil Wizard
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Member # 123788
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posted April 11, 2003 08:07 PM
141. Steal Elminster's hat
142. Get into a staring contest with a Beholder
143. Take a single rank of Use Magic Device and play with every wand you find.
144. Try to tame the Tarrasque and use it as a mount
145. Insist that all magical walls are illusions and try to walk through them all.
146. Summon a demon, then say "Oh, nevermind. I changed my mind."
147. Put a portable hole inside a bag of holding.
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Need a monster race for your PC? More monsters than you can shake an arrow of slaying at.
Save the Core Paladin Foundation Member #0000078
"If someone asks you if you're a god... you say YES!!!"
- Ghostbusters
From: My secret demiplane of EVIL | Registered: Jan 2003
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Prgrmr@wrk
Member
Member # 136157
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posted April 11, 2003 09:56 PM
#148 Insist everything dangerous is an illusion. Don't shut up until the DM lets you roll for it (again).
#149 Try to get enough dragon flesh to clone it. But don't wait for the dragon to be dead, or even asleep.
#150 Insist everything will be fine.
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D&D has absolutely nothing to do with devil worshiping. But as long as that rumor keeps bible thumpers from trying to convert the D&D rules to fit their religion, I'm happy.
I'd be lawful neutral if it wasn't for lightning bolts, and my rage problem.
From: Middleton, NS, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003
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aldadur-JB88
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Member # 132883
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posted April 11, 2003 10:23 PM
#148 use a AOE to (add the rude jestur here spiting and such work well)
#149 kill the bartender in a place with Paldins and say that his prices were way to high it was high way robbery* and then try(key word TRY) to kill they paladins while calling them Hippys
#150 tell you DM that your a paladin so your spit is holy water and try to kill undead(man that was dosen't lats long)
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elven foundation member #015
Registered: Mar 2003
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Endarire
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Member # 106616
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posted April 11, 2003 10:51 PM
154: In a place where magic is feared, run through there casting flashy spells.
155: Start an organ donor program.
156: Insult a regent.
157: Try to hit every foe with shurikens bounced off at least 2 walls.
158: Cast Feeblemind on self.
159: Play "Charge Chicken" with a fighter type.
160: Turn important NPCs into fish or rats.
160a: Eat said creature.
160b: Use said creature as weapon.
161: Center all area of effect damage spells on self.
-EE
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Quarterstaff: (special abilities)
*While merely a mundane oak staff, there's something especially embarrassing about being thwacked with a quarterstaff named Kneesmacker...wielded by a Dwarf...who is also a wizard...with 15 strength.
http://www.thehungersite.com Click daily to feed kids. The schematics are too complicated for this sig, but, trust me, they'll be fed.
http://www.alexchiu.com/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=Endarire Immortal Rings of Sustenance. Really.
Registered: Sep 2002
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Prgrmr@wrk
Member
Member # 136157
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posted April 11, 2003 11:19 PM
#162 Kick the glowing blue crystal
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D&D has absolutely nothing to do with devil worshiping. But as long as that rumor keeps bible thumpers from trying to convert the D&D rules to fit their religion, I'm happy.
I'd be lawful neutral if it wasn't for lightning bolts, and my rage problem.
From: Middleton, NS, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003
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Zeed
Member
Member # 135073
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posted April 12, 2003 12:04 AM
163. when tracking goblins through the wilderness make sure to rub blood on yourself to "hide your scent"
164. make sure to say, at the worst time, "...hey...it could be worse.."
165. when approaching sleeping medusa take the kenders advice and "..poke it..."
166. if you are a drow insist that you can overcome your light blindness by using darkvision in daylight....constantly...
167. tell lolth that its amazing that she found worshipers who were uglier than her
168. "...really Cyric what kind god are you to let Mask steal your domain..." then promtply poke him in the chest and say "...wuss.."
[ April 12, 2003, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: Zeed ]
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famous last words- "...eeeewwww poke it..."
My Prestige Class
Chaos Mage
From: well i'm here aren't I o.O'? | Registered: Apr 2003
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trycycle
Member
Member # 127217
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posted April 12, 2003 12:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Elessar Telcontar:
quote:
Originally posted by Stormfalcon:
quote:
Originally posted by DFloyd:
quote:
Originally posted by Tanuki, the Bewildered:
quote:
Originally posted by Valiantheart:
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
48b. Hit on the DM's girlfriend.
48c. Do something untoward to the DM's girlfriend.
48d. Simply stare at the DM's girlfriend.
48d-a (ok, this is getting ridiculous) Stare at the DM's girlfriend with such intensity that you don't notice anything else, including what the DM is saying.
48e. Tell your DM you can't make the meet because you have a date with his girlfriend.
From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2003
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Sir Snyder
Member
Member # 134191
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posted April 12, 2003 12:45 AM
169. Pick the Lich's Pocket
170. Tell the Drow female NPC "Hey cupcake, Hows about you drop that sword and go bake me a pie?"
171. Inform the dwarf that his mother has a thicker beard than he does
172. Ask the minotuar where all the female minotuars are.
173. As a bard, insist to the group that your songs can affect the undead if you sing them loud and long enough
174. As a rouge, Ask the paladin to "hold this bloody knife Just for a second"
175. Insist that the BBEG can be reformed into a productive member of society.
176. Try to argue with the DM that raising the Undead, "isnt evil necesarily..."
177. Every session tell the DM you dont like your character and insist on making a new one.
178. Ask the NPC mage, after he explains the plot of the evil doers and what you must do you stop them, "are you through blabber-mouthing yet?"
179. Tell the NPC mage that you dont fall for his act and you know that he is only some low level wizard using illusions to try and impress you.
180. Ask the paladin where all the loose women are.
181. Hit on any and all female NPCs
182.Tell the man dressed in full-plate wielding two flaming katanas that you dont belive he is the legendary dragon slayer and that you think he couldnt slay his way out of a wet paper sack.
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"And you paladin what is your name?" Croacked the wizard Vile. Snyder paused, then replied "Ato, Tom Ato..."
Registered: Mar 2003
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Dante Amalco
Member
Member # 123052
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posted April 12, 2003 02:35 AM
183. Search for a Mindflayer hairsalon
184. Ask the vampire chick why she looks so hot... even when she's dead!
185. Ask the paladin to kill the annoying kid following the party
186. when in the dragon's lair, let the barbarian walk in front moving silently
187. go to an all dwarf tavern and tell that everyone not larger than 5 ft. is gay
188. steal the bard's guitar
189. when in the druid's village, kill the little squirrels and kick all trees you see
190. when invited by the arrogant emperor of the country, question his authority with sarcastical questions.
[ April 12, 2003, 02:37 AM: Message edited by: Dante Amalco ]
From: Netherill... uhm Netherlands | Registered: Jan 2003
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Dell Kallyan
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Member # 134084
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posted April 12, 2003 11:18 AM
191. Decide to show off your bard's juggling talent with an NPC or important person's most prized possessions.
192. Play 'monkey in the middle' with the cleric's holy symbol, the cleric being the monkey.
193. Use the wizard's spell book to doodle in your spare time.
194. Beg for money from a powerful character, telling him its for your 'quest', then as soon as you get it from him yell, "to the wh*re house!"
195. Willingly fail every saving throw, and resist any harmless ones.
196. Challenge a drunken master (prestige class) to a drinking contest... then say he cheated.
197. Walk into a gelatinous cube.
198. Goto Union (epic level city) and bump into random people saying "Watch where you're going!"
199. Keep anything explosive on your character.
200. Play poker with a Deck of Many Things.
[ April 12, 2003, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: Dell Kallyan ]
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I think therefore I am... I think." -Nordom the Modron, Planscape Torment
From: New York | Registered: Mar 2003
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Trueman
Member
Member # 135568
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posted April 12, 2003 03:04 PM
201) Attempt to convince random NPCs that the rest of your party is gay.
202) Juggle explosives.
203) Spit in a clerics holy viles
204) Spit in anybody's anything
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The touch of death has a chocolate centre...i've seen it
From: Bridlington, UK | Registered: Apr 2003
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Zekenen
Member
Member # 133029
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posted April 12, 2003 03:27 PM
64) While DMing a single adventure, giving the official DM a break, knock out DM's character with an unstopable poison. True story. Beware of what happens when other DM goes back into office.
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One thing that I can say 'bout myself: I like gibbons. They're the coolest animals out there! And figs taste yummy.
From: connecticut | Registered: Mar 2003
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Zekenen
Member
Member # 133029
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posted April 12, 2003 03:35 PM
206) Tell the druid his animal companions smell bad
207) Tell the monk his inscense smells bad
208) Tell the DM he smells bad
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One thing that I can say 'bout myself: I like gibbons. They're the coolest animals out there! And figs taste yummy.
From: connecticut | Registered: Mar 2003
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Zekenen
Member
Member # 133029
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posted April 12, 2003 03:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by trycycle:
quote:
Originally posted by Elessar Telcontar:
quote:
Originally posted by Stormfalcon:
quote:
Originally posted by DFloyd:
quote:
Originally posted by Tanuki, the Bewildered:
quote:
Originally posted by Valiantheart:
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
48b. Hit on the DM's girlfriend.
48c. Do something untoward to the DM's girlfriend.
48d. Simply stare at the DM's girlfriend.
48d-a (ok, this is getting ridiculous) Stare at the DM's girlfriend with such intensity that you don't notice anything else, including what the DM is saying.
48e. Tell your DM you can't make the meet because you have a date with his girlfriend.
48f) Tell the DM his girlfriend smells bad
48g) Tell the DM's girlsfriend she smells bad
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One thing that I can say 'bout myself: I like gibbons. They're the coolest animals out there! And figs taste yummy.
From: connecticut | Registered: Mar 2003
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Zekenen
Member
Member # 133029
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posted April 12, 2003 03:46 PM
209) Walk up to a major mind flayer city and say to a random illithid, " Dude, I think you need to shave"
210)Challenge a monk to a duel, claiming that you will only use your pinkies to fight
211)Sing flat notes overtop a bard's song
pretending that you think it sounds really good.
212)Try to set fire to a Red dragon's tail
213)Try to get an elf to go on a blind-date with an orc, and vice versa
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One thing that I can say 'bout myself: I like gibbons. They're the coolest animals out there! And figs taste yummy.
From: connecticut | Registered: Mar 2003
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Ultimate PC
Member
Member # 121222
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posted April 12, 2003 03:50 PM
209. Put up a "player screen" and role secretly behind it as DMs always do.
210. Don't take down your "player screen" when the DM tells you to.
211.Kill the NPC your DM loves to use as soon a possible in the mission
212. Kicking a dragon in the nuts (if you can find them)
213.Sleeping with the kings daughter then calling her a *****.
214. Laughing at a god or a demon prince before the battle has begun.
215. Going for a wiz in the holy water at a temple of a good god.
216. Eating in front of the DM because he didn't have the money to by pizza like the rest of the group, and you make fun of the situation.
217.Playing nicky nine doors on the gates of hell or heaven
218.knocking down the DM screen with you dice ever time he roles to attack you.
219. Callin g up the DMs girlfriend/boyfriend and telling them the he/she was here, instead of being somewhere else more important. ![[ROFL]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/roflmao.gif)
cheers dead players ![[Evil Smirk]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/graemlins/Up_to.gif)
Registered: Jan 2003
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Zekenen
Member
Member # 133029
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posted April 12, 2003 04:04 PM
225)(if you add up between the last two posts that were numbered the same this is the right number if I can count, which I probably can't. ANYWAY:: ![[Smile]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/smile.gif) Add sounds effects such as WOOSH and BANG and CRASH to enhance combat
226)Repeat everything the DM say's in a high-pitched voice
227)Repeat everything the DM says with a Sean-Connery voice
228)Repeat everything the DM says in a Darth Vader voice
229)Reapeat everything the DM says in G W Bush's voice, replacing some words with made up ones.
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One thing that I can say 'bout myself: I like gibbons. They're the coolest animals out there! And figs taste yummy.
From: connecticut | Registered: Mar 2003
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Evil Wizard
Member
Member # 123788
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posted April 13, 2003 05:32 PM
230: Poke the barrels leaking a clear liquid.
231: Let the wizard poke the barrels leaking clear liquid (I just about killed my brother for this. My poor thief...)
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Need a monster race for your PC? More monsters than you can shake an arrow of slaying at.
Save the Core Paladin Foundation Member #0000078
"If someone asks you if you're a god... you say YES!!!"
- Ghostbusters
From: My secret demiplane of EVIL | Registered: Jan 2003
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KullacktheArcaneTrickster
Member
Member # 136587
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posted April 13, 2003 05:47 PM
Personally, I think my player have a deathwish when the horde of monsters rush in and they decide to.............split up.
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Kullack asks Glem the gnome illusionist, "Glem, want some Hill Giant Testacles? They're GOOOOD?
Glem replies,"Um, no."
Registered: Apr 2003
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thaytor
Member
Member # 88886
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posted April 13, 2003 06:37 PM
232.) go to a dwarven paladin convention use telekinesis to play dwarf darts
233.) ...play spin the dwarf
234.) try to kiss a lich
235.) take fang of lloth prestige class with a dwarven paladin and a cleric of pelor in the party
236.) serve frog legs to the mage with a toad familiar
237.) use a scroll of fireball as a first level mage to light your pipe
238.) use 17-20 scrolls of polymorph other to turn the adult red dragon into a chicken
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Knowledge is Power
Power Without Wisdom Turns Evil
Visualize wirled peas
NEVER EVER try to shave a Wookie
[email protected]
From: fl | Registered: Jun 2002
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TheOne
Member
Member # 44641
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posted April 13, 2003 11:01 PM
239) Moo at a minotaur
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Get the tables!
From: Mt. Pleasant, MI | Registered: Sep 2001
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Dante Amalco
Member
Member # 123052
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posted April 14, 2003 12:59 AM
240. When confronted by a 5ft. by 10ft. blue dragon as a lvl 7 sorceror say it is only a small one and charge it right away (I speak out of experience... from 52hp to 8hp in 1 round)
From: Netherill... uhm Netherlands | Registered: Jan 2003
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Theldran Alontiel
Member
Member # 107430
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posted April 15, 2003 12:23 PM
Look at the DM and tell him you're feeling lucky.
Use big words around a half-orc npc.
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A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
Save the Good Necromancers Foundation Member #25
Wizard Foundation Member #25
Elf Foundation Member #45
From: Here | Registered: Sep 2002
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