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Author
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Topic: 1000 Things your Characters do if they have Deathwishes
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DFloyd
Member
Member # 21429
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posted March 31, 2003 05:42 PM
1. Shave the dwarf's beard while he sleeps.
2. Try to steal the green dragon's eggs while she sleeps.
3. Accept the hot bat-winged chick's offer.
Y'know, it's hard to come up with these. What would your characters do if they had deathwishes?
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From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: May 2001
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DnD Master1586
Member
Member # 128438
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posted March 31, 2003 06:39 PM
4. Do that scottish thingy (when they show there genitals, etc. to the enemy to **** them off) to the BBEG
Gosh...I can't think of anything else, and what I did come up with was pretty lame
-Dan
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From: New Jersey, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
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Edymnion
Member
Member # 64100
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posted March 31, 2003 07:29 PM
5. Run with scissors in front of a Beholder.
6. Tell Elminster that his robe looks girly.
7. Offer to scrub the half-orc's back with soap.
8. Tell the half-orc that his mother wears high heels.
9. Cough and gag and tell the dwarf his beer tastes like <insert nasty liquid of choice here>
10. Step on a spider in front of a drow.
11. Make camp outside of a dragon's lair and be eating fried eggs when she comes back.
12. Ask the captain of the guard if that was him you saw with the princess of the realm in the tavern the other night.
13. Get into a staring contest with a Medusa.
14. Tell the half-orc barbarian he doesn't know which end of the sword goes in the other guy.
15. Tell the elven sorceress that yes, that dress does make her butt look fat.
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From: Chattanooga, TN | Registered: Feb 2002
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Tanuki, the Bewildered
Member
Member # 51068
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posted March 31, 2003 08:22 PM
16. Get between the Halfling and the snack tray.
17. Tell the Orc his mother was an Elf.
18. Tell the Elf his mother was an Orc.
19. Tell the Vampire to 'Bite me'.
20. Ask the Lich 'What died in here?'
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Whuh? Huh? Oh. Ok.
From: I was hoping you would know.... | Registered: Nov 2001
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Illithid Tentacles
Member
Member # 119688
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posted March 31, 2003 08:29 PM
21: Attempt to mate with a harpy.
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All your base are belong to us.
Registered: Dec 2002
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Ryat
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Member # 62598
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posted March 31, 2003 09:05 PM
22: Insult your DM.
23: Tell your priest he's a God-slave when your wounded.
ryat, tastes like apple pie! Are you sure the drow made thi........
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From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2002
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Straploknight
Member
Member # 102975
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posted March 31, 2003 09:39 PM
24. Try to find your sphere of annilation when the candle burns out.
25. Eat troll steaks rare.
26. Ask a Banshee to sing.
27. Ask for Black Pudding
28. Ignore a rampaging Tarrasque.
29. Use black lotus extract as a skin lotion.
30. Use a ring of wishes, or wish spell
31.Break a Staff of the Magi for giggles
32. Use a bag of Devourimg to keep your head from getting wet.
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member #0000001, of the Drow Ain't No Stink'n Sub-race Foundation.
From: Newport News, Va | Registered: Aug 2002
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Dar'Tan
Member
Member # 111740
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posted March 31, 2003 10:46 PM
33. Ask the Mind Flayer for a scalp massage
Brad the Smiter of Giants
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From: England | Registered: Oct 2002
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casiopia
Member
Member # 125587
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posted March 31, 2003 10:54 PM
34 "We're in a bar? KEWL i start a fight"
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From: Propping the Bar up at the Inn | Registered: Feb 2003
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Tanuki, the Bewildered
Member
Member # 51068
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posted April 01, 2003 12:31 AM
35. Get in a Drinking Contest with an Elf.
36. Get in a Drinking Contest with a Dwarf.
37. Get in a Drinking Contest with an Elf AND a Dwarf.
38. Offer to clean up after those drinking contests. (OK, that's more icky than deadly...)
39. Ignore the Drow when she tells you NOT to enter the Underdark. (Teehee.)
[ April 01, 2003, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: Tanuki, the Bewildered ]
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From: I was hoping you would know.... | Registered: Nov 2001
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Tristan Avon Granvania
Member
Member # 109392
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posted April 01, 2003 07:52 AM
40. Charge the Giants
41. Charge the Dragon
42. Charge the Tarrasque
43. Hire a Mind Flayer as your Neurosurgeon
44. Tell the DM he sucks
45. Steal the DM's food
46. Touch the DM's dice
~Evil DM
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We must all live by our own decisions, make them wisely.
AIM: TopGunX
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Soon to be DMing: The Sunless Citadel
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From: Flushing, Queens, NYC, NY, USA | Registered: Oct 2002
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Daikona
Member
Member # 60148
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posted April 01, 2003 04:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Tanuki, the Bewildered:
39. Ignore the Drow when she tells you NOT to enter the Underdark. (Teehee.)
47. Keep calling the Drow an Elf. Do at the same time as 39 for extra effect. ![[Wink]](http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/wink.gif)
Registered: Jan 2002
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Valiantheart
Member
Member # 119346
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posted April 01, 2003 06:41 PM
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
49. Split the party to "cover more ground"
50. Insist on always attacking the BBG one on one.
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"Asobi wa, owari da!"
From: Here | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tanuki, the Bewildered
Member
Member # 51068
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posted April 01, 2003 09:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Valiantheart:
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
48b. Hit on the DM's girlfriend.
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From: I was hoping you would know.... | Registered: Nov 2001
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Vegeta8472
Member
Member # 113682
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posted April 01, 2003 10:45 PM
51. Become a Lich.
51a. Don't tell the Paladin.
51ab. Introduce yourself to Paladin in new form.
51b. Try to turn yourself.
52. Order Pizza.
52a. Forget to tell DM.
52ab. Insist that the DM pay.
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From: Eureka, IL | Registered: Nov 2002
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Stormfalcon
Member
Member # 119551
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posted April 01, 2003 10:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DFloyd:
quote:
Originally posted by Tanuki, the Bewildered:
quote:
Originally posted by Valiantheart:
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
48b. Hit on the DM's girlfriend.
48c. Do something untoward to the DM's girlfriend.
48d. Simply stare at the DM's girlfriend.
From: Cupertino, CA | Registered: Dec 2002
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Elessar Telcontar
Member
Member # 105230
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posted April 02, 2003 05:28 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Stormfalcon:
quote:
Originally posted by DFloyd:
quote:
Originally posted by Tanuki, the Bewildered:
quote:
Originally posted by Valiantheart:
48. Insult the DMs girlfriend.
48b. Hit on the DM's girlfriend.
48c. Do something untoward to the DM's girlfriend.
48d. Simply stare at the DM's girlfriend.
48d-a (ok, this is getting ridiculous) Stare at the DM's girlfriend with such intensity that you don't notice anything else, including what the DM is saying.
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From: Norway | Registered: Sep 2002
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Marilla
Member
Member # 134118
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posted April 02, 2003 12:37 PM
53. Put a [decapitated] rogue's head next to the half dragon while he's sleeping. [actually, this didn't result in death...I wonder why...?]
54. Insult the DM's boyfriend. [See parentheses in 53]
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Marilla ;)
Registered: Mar 2003
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Bacon and Eggs
Member
Member # 127907
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posted April 02, 2003 12:51 PM
What is this? 55? Okay, 55 it is then.
55. Spill soft/hard drinks all over the DM's material. Most notably purchaced books and long planned out missions that are hand written and have taken at least 24 hours to create. (Meta-game effect)
56. Take as many ranks as you can in Perform(mime) and apply them to your playing style. (Partial in game effect)
57. Greet everyone as canines greet each other. Often you will hear the phrase "Don't worry, he/she smells my (insert race) on you"
(possible double post )
From: London Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 2003
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Marik Telvor
Member
Member # 98299
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posted April 02, 2003 03:55 PM
58. (48e) While sucking face with your new really hot girlfriend during a session, make fun of the fact the DM doesn't even have a girlfriend.
-- Warning this made lead to playercide as well as charactercide.
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From: Closer to Home | Registered: Jul 2002
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Alhadrien
Member
Member # 27433
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posted April 02, 2003 04:29 PM
59. Challenge an important NPC to a duel.
60. Challenge the DM to a duel.
61. Steal the DM's pants.
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From: kalamazoo, michigan, USA | Registered: Jun 2001
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Scipio
Member
Member # 98055
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posted April 02, 2003 08:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Alhadrien:
61. Steal the DM's pants.
Please tell me that there isn't a story to go with that one...
[ April 02, 2003, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Scipio ]
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From: Hell, well ok Oklahoma. (close enough) | Registered: Jul 2002
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MEATEATER
Member
Member # 129329
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posted April 07, 2003 03:56 AM
62. Atempt ANYTHING resonable in which the DM has no knowledge of.
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From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2003
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Ajakutty
Member
Member # 126706
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posted April 07, 2003 06:41 AM
63. be "Player E". for example, 2 game sessions ago:
DM: the flying skulls come in and kill your ally in a blaze of energy-death. they look to you and start coming.
Players A-D: we run for it towards the magical exit - the only place the skulls can't follow.
Player E: i sneak behind the edge of this building here, next to the skulls.
if i had a shovel, i'd have WHAM!::dig dig dig::'ed him
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-Wyrd Loftheow, Gamaetannes Scop
From: The Big Woo-Town | Registered: Feb 2003
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Valiantheart
Member
Member # 119346
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posted April 07, 2003 07:08 AM
64. Bringing wife or girlfriend to gaming sessions who keeps asking if its time to go yet.
65. Bringing your children to said gaming session.
66. Constantly asking your dm if you can bring in a new player. When the player comes in he immediately wants to play a good drow or spikey blond headed guy with a great sword. Said player broods a lot and gets all ticked off when he cant rip through armies on his own.
67. Playing a good aligned drow or spikey blond guy with a great sword.
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"Asobi wa, owari da!"
From: Here | Registered: Dec 2002
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