Lately I have been thinking a lot about love? What is it? What kind of love do I want? Is it better to be single or married? Is it possible to be happy with one person? I see so many unhappy nagging couples. They just seem to get on each other’s nerves. Why do I always seem to look for love? Is it just hormones or is there something deeper? Why do I never seem to be happy with the love that is offered to me? Should I continue looking for love or should I be content with what I can have now? Why am I so unhappy much of the time? Who am I? All these thoughts buzz around my brain like mosquitos on a sleepless night until I can’t think about it anymore. At times like that my thoughts often turn to Buddhism.

Buddha was born in the 5th century BC. As Buddhism spread around the world each country that embraced it put its own spin on it, so today there are as many different Buddhisms as there are Buddhist countries. Basically though, there are 2 kinds of Buddhism, those who see meditation as the way to end suffering (Theravada) and those who see prayer as the way to end suffering (Mahayana). Some of the Theravada countries are Sri Lanka, Thailand, Myanmar, and Vietnam. Some of the Mahayana countries are China, Japan, and Korea. However, it is a little more complicated than that because even in the Mahayana countries there is often a faction in the country that meditates. So it is in Korea where they have Korean Buddhism and Korean Zen Buddhism.
      ?A distinguishing feature of Korean Buddhism is its use of bowing as a mediation practice. First down on the knees, then placing the hands on the floor with the thumb and forefinger of each hand joining to make a triangle, then the forehead is placed on the middle of that triangle. Korean Buddhists will bow many many times. Some practices call for them to bow 10,000 times in one session. That’s a lot of bowing. The bowing becomes a sort of moving meditation.
?#060;/span>        ?Korean monks look different from other country’s monks. Unlike the bright colors you might see in other places, Korean monks wear grey robes. Of course, they also have shaved heads like monks in other countries. There are both male and female monks. You see them walking around on the streets, in train and bus stations. They are treated with respect but not lavishly as in some other countries. I haven’t seen people jumping up to give them seats as I did in Sri Lanka. In a country where Evangelical Christianity is sweeping the country, the Korean Buddhist monk, calmly goes about his or her business.
      ?Some of the most beautiful and popular sites in Korea are the old Buddhist temples. Pulgoksa, near the historical city of Kyongju was built in 535 AD. There you can see the unlikely crazy color combinations of the wooden temples in a natural beautiful setting. The interiors of the temples are rich tapestries of murals jam packed with symbolic paintings of ancient Buddhist scriptures. Each temple is famous for something. Haein temple near Taegu is famous because it contains 81,258 wooden blocks, that contain all of the Buddhist texts. These blocks can be used to print out the books of the Buddhist texts. Some temples are famous for their statues of Buddha and some claim to have relics, parts of the body, of the original Buddha.

Some temples have resident monks from other countries. This is the case for Hwa Gye Sa temple in Northern Seoul. This temple is a Korean Zen Buddhist temple and has a program in English on Sunday. There is a rather famous American monk, Ven. Hyon Gak Sunim, there. ?#060;/span>He is a Harvard graduate and wrote a book that sold over 1,000,000 copies in Korea about his transformation from a Harvard graduate to a Korean monk. In a country that is heavily influenced by Confucianism, a Harvard degree means a lot. On Sundays there is a 2 hour meditation practice followed by a lecture. However, Hyon Gak is very popular and busy so often he isn’t there. The last time I went there, he was absent and another American monk was giving the lecture. I went at 1 pm to participate in the meditation. I’ve been meditating for over 20 years but I still consider myself a novice. I can’t control my mind at all. Usually when I meditate I space out immediately only to wake up when the bell rings 30 minutes later. When the assistant monk asked if anyone needed meditation instruction I raised my hand. It wouldn’t hurt to hear the spiel one more time I figured. However I was surprised by what he said.

Korean Buddhism is different from the Vipassana Buddhism that I have practiced in the past.
  ?“First,?#060;/span> he said, ?#060;/span>sit cross-legged or comfortably. Place your cupped hands, left over right slightly touching your abdomen. This will help you to become aware of your breathing. As you meditate on your breath, watch your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. Don?#060;/span>t initiate any involvement with them, don?#060;/span>t judge them, don?#060;/span>t consider them as much as possible. Just watch them come and go. Every so often, allow yourself to think the thought, ?#060;/span>Who am I? What am I here for.??#060;/span> If you are really honest with yourself, you may say something like this, ?#060;/span>I am a man. I am Frank. I am a teacher.?But is that really who you are? If you weren?#060;/span>t a teacher would you still be Frank? And if you continue to allow yourself to ask who you really are and why you are really here, you find yourself admitting that honestly, you don?#060;/span>t know who you are or why you are here. ?#060;/span>I don?#060;/span>t know.?#060;/span> Is the wisest possible answer to that question.?All other answers are based on belief or faith. ?#060;/span>When you answer, ?#060;/span>I don?#060;/span>t know,?#060;/span> you are truly in touch with the Now mind. You are truly open and you have truly defeated the ego in that moment. This is the essence of the Korean style Zen Buddhism.?#060;span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>? I was surprised how different Korean Zen Buddhism was different from other styles of Buddhism that I have practiced. ?#060;/span>
             We went back to the expansive main meditation hall and I followed his instructions. The hands on the abdomen helped me to feel my breath more clearly, and every so often I asked myself who I was. It was easy for me to admit that I didn?#060;/span>t know who I was. I?#060;/span>ve been wondering about that all my life. I never thought that my inability to answer that question was a useful thing. Yet, when I asked that question in the temple I was aware that admitting that I didn?#060;/span>t know who I was somehow freeing and relaxing. Now throughout the day I honestly ask myself this question and can honestly answer, ?#060;/span>I have no idea who I am?and feel good about it. ?#060;/span>
     The meditating schedule was like this; meditate for 30 minutes, walking meditation for 15 minutes, meditate for 30 minutes, walking meditation for 15 minutes, meditate for 30 minutes. Then came the lecture. Because the famous American monk wasn?#060;/span>t there, in his place came another perhaps 55 year old Western monk. He gingerly walked to the cushion of honor and sat down amidst flowing robes. He looked a little like the famous Zen portrait of Dharuma, a ubiquitous image in Japan and Korea. He was the stern looking monk who brought Buddhism from India to China in the 5th century. However, as soon as the monk started talking, his face softened and showed an incredible gentleness and sincerity. He talked about the meaning of one of the important Buddhist texts called the Diamond Sutres. It was kind of theoretical for me and anyway I had heard that kind of thing before. However, I listened as closely as I could. At the end of the lecture there was a silence and then he asked if anyone had any questions. He waited and everyone seemed to be lost in his own private reverie. These monks were comfortable with silence and so the room remained quite for about 60 seconds. Finally, seeing an opportunity, I thought about what I would really like to ask a monk about. I wasn?#060;/span>t that interested in the Diamond Sutres, my thoughts were of a more personal nature. I raised my hand and the monk looked at me kindly and nodded. ?#060;/span>What is romantic love??Everyone?#060;/span>s head spun around to look at me. I hadn’t known if it was proper to ask such a question yet that what was on my mind and no one else had said anything. Apparently people were supposed to ask about what the monk had talked about, but I didn?#060;/span>t care about that. There was a fresh surprised air in the hall. Some people smiled to themselves. I felt a little embarrassed. On the monk’s face the tiniest grin flickered and then as quickly extinguished. He looked at me with great kindness and started talking.

?#060;/span>“I am a great believer in romantic love. In my opinion, it is one of the most wonderful things in life. This is a situation where one person?#060;/span>s presence lights up another person?#060;/span>s world and vice-a-versa. This is a shortcut to spiritually if it is true love. What can be more wonderful than that? Some of the other meditators around me seemed surprised by the answer. Surely we were here to find something greater than romantic love. ?#060;/span>You know,?he continued, leaning forward a little, ?#060;span style='mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN'> I was married to a woman that I loved with my whole heart for 23 years, until she died of cancer 14 years ago. I was the happiest man in the world for those years. Shortly after she died I decided that there could never be love like that for me in this world and so I decided to look for that love inside myself.?#060;/span> His eyes were watery. I thought he might cry, but he continued with great courage and determination. The air around him seemed to snap his face and words into focus at a deeper more real level. ?#060;/span>I have to apologize, to you all, because I really don?#060;/span>t know what romantic love is. It is a mystery. I don?#060;/span>t know anything about it at all. I just don’t know.?#060;/span> And with that he shrunk back into his body and took on the appearance of Dhaurma again. A Dharuma who didn’t know who he was or what love was. The other mediators seemed shocked at his words. There was another long silence in the hall and his words hung there like smoke after a firefight. Finally his eyes came alive again. He thanked the group, bowed, and slowly got up and walked out of the hall. The rest of the people in the hall put the cushions away and tidied up.

As I was walking down from the temple hill to the streets of Seoul, I thought about what had happened. His wife of 23 years died and shortly thereafter he became a monk. What could be a greater tribute to his love for his wife than that? After she died, he gave up on earthly love. He knew that none could compare to that he had already had. He didn’t even want to try. He said that he didn’t know anything about love but, I disagree with him. His love for his wife must have been of the strongest kind, the highest order. I think he really knows about love, more than most of us ever will. I still didn’t know what love was or who I was, but I knew more than I did before. I thought about those things as I re-entered the hustle and bustle of the big city, the hustle and bustle of my mind.

Pictures of Korean Buddhism