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Two Pints Quotes |
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Gaz |
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I have to arrange my porn into alphabetical order. From Aardvarks and Men, A Lovers Guide right through to X-Rays of Love |
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Donna, you look beautiful, would you like to... be my pop tart and live in my toaster of love? |
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Women don't cheat on me. I'm just so pretty |
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I need a sort of... a sort of chunky woman, you know, who brings me sandwiches and puts Matey in me bath |
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You are Gaz Wilkinson. A beast of a man. You are strong. You are confident. You are Gaz Wilkinson. And girls want to touch you |
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Well what? Is it me? Do I repulse you? Look, I can stop yelling 'Tina Arena, you will be mine' at the moment of climax |
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I'm laying down the seeds for my reign of power over Donna. See, the more I don't phone her the more desperate and insecure she becomes, soon she will surrender to my constant demand for sexual gratification |
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Donna - I've never asked you this before and it seems a bit stupid since we've been shagging each other's brains out for the last month but� would you like to go for a drink sometime? |
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There's no such thing as a perfect couple. Well, except Chris Evans and Billie. Sat there getting p***ed with an 18-year-old every day. How perfect is that? |
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I am the master of cunning |
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Who invented the pie? I mean, what a genius, you know, 'cos you've got the subtle flavours of the steak matched with texture of the finest kidney and all that against the magnificent backdrop of the crumbling buttery pasty. You know, if that man was here now I'd shake his hand |
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I could be a proper father figure. Like the one I never had. I could be like Patrick Duffy |
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Everything can work out with a little petty-minded vengeance. |
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I'm great on holiday. I've got Trivial Pursuit... Junior |
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Man can't live by houmous alone. He lives by respect, dignity and most of all constant adoration from his woman |
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