The Crazy Rules of Badminton
A TRUE STORY
Badminton is a sport that dates back to ancient times. It is an adaptation of the Chinese game of Jianzi, where the aim of the game was to keep the shuttlecock off the floor. However, Jianzi was slightly different in that there was no racquet involved. Instead, participants had to use their feet to try and win the game. (Sounds like a difficult game of keepy uppy if you ask me)
Ceri
Anyway, myself and a close friend (we'll call her Ceri... cos its her name), decided that about 10pm one night, we'd start playing badminton in my living room. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

Before, I go any further, i'll give you a brief overview of my living room. ITS BIG. I have 2 couches in an L shape and the lights off the ceiling are 2 big balls which light the room up a treat.

So with Ceri stood on one side of a couch, me on the other, we get to playing and to be honest, its safe to say that neither of us is very good. Whether that be due to a lack of experience, hand-eye co-ordination or the fact that Ceri is so competitive, that I was terrified of being hurt, I dont know (the girl did slap me in the face... she says it was an accident, but I think all the guys reading this will side with me on this one) but either way its not going well
Dex
Not to be deterred by our utter crapness, we're having a really good time. After all, its badminton in my front room, its not as if its a major tournament. Of course, Ceri didnt seem to understand this and despite the number of shuttlecocks flying at my head, i'm still having fun. So naturally, i'm winning (dont hit me please Ceri), and she doesnt seem to like this, and starts making up her own rules.

So to avoid major arguments, and because I have spent almost my entire life living with the female species from my mum to my sister and my ex's, I know that standing there shouting at each other... isn't a good idea

So we came up with a set of rules outling the legalities of our new badminton game. See what you think, and why not have a go yourself

Personally, I think I got the raw end of the deal, but we must not argue with the female species... trust me fellas
Rules
1.You cannot put your racquet through your own leg
             - This one stemmed from me trying to be clever and nearly injuring myself
2. You cannot put your racquet through your own or any neighbouring couch
              - Ceri seemed to like hitting the couch more than the shuttlecock and I was worried   .               about the damage she'd cause
3. You must not be distracted by big dangly balls
              - Interpret that how you want :-)
4. Name calling is only allowed on your own serve
              - We must keep some air of sensibility about the whole thing
5. When the shuttlecock falls on the side of the female, the female automatically scores 1 point. The male must accept this as a rule of life, or said female has open license to do as she pleases in any violent manner she chooses
               - Guess who came up with that one
Well, thats what we have so far but I warn you now. They are the incomplete set of rules but as and when she threatens me with a badminton racquet, I will update

I wouldnt want any of you guys out there facing the same wrath as me.

Anyway, I know shes gonna read this so i'm gonna go die now

Later peeps
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