[The last time we seen Dewey he was placed in handcuffs and carted off like a common criminal for nothing more than making his way into the XwC Corporate Headquarters. Ok, sure it was after working hours, sure The Dew used a side door he most likely shouldn�t have been near less walked into. But can�t they just forget the whole ordeal after all The Dewster is Canadian is he not? And what about that Security Officer? He called The Dew a perp, I do think that�s uncalled for. A Canadian a perp, in the words of The Dew, has he no Canadian sense?]

[The newest episode of The Dewster opens in the Security Office of the XwC Headquarters. Where The Dew still handcuffed sits in one of those eight dollar steal chairs wrestlers like to hit other wrestlers with. The Dew is not only surrounded by Security Officers but two Police Officers as well. Seems as though The Dew may be in over his head.]

The Dewster: Excuse me!

The Police Officers and the Security personnel talk to each other about the situation as they ignore The Dew.

The Dewster: I said excuse me!

Police Officer: What is it you want?

The Dewster: Does a Canadian not get a free phone call? Is it not Un-Canadian law to allow one phone call?

Police Officer: Only when one is under arrest. And seeing as your not at the station as of yet your just being attained. That is unless you want to confess now. Do you want to confess?

The Dewster: Confess? Have you no Canadian sense? Canadians don�t confess!

Police Officer: Then please by all means just sit there and look guilty.

The Dew looks at the Officer and then at the rest of the group as they laugh at his current predicament. Wondering if he does look guilty after all? But tell me what did The Dew do that was so wrong? Walked in an open door? Can they arrest and press charges on a Canadian for that? Let�s hope not or The Dewster may fry.

After a few moments another person whom Dewey doesn�t recognize walks into the room. The Security Personnel begin chatting wit him and then points at Dewey, who sits up straight and tries to give an I�m not guilty smile. The man stops and talks with the Police Officer before wondering over to where Dewey himself is seated.

Man: You the perp?

The Dewster: Seeing as how everyone keeps referring to me by that name. I reckon that all of you Un-Canadian�s must be� out of your Un-Canadian loving minds! Have none of you people any Canadian sense? How many times do I have to say this? Canadians are not, let me repeat, are not Perps! Pimps, on occasion. Peculiar, most would say often. Pedestrians, often as we walk across the street the same as you Un-Canadians. But Canadians are not nor will they ever be referred to or be a PERP!

The man as well as the rest in the room can�t help but crack a smile at Dewey. The man then pulls up a chair and then takes a seat in front of where Dewey is sitting.

Man: Then please, by all means, tell me what you are doing in this building?

The Dewster: I�m not saying a bloody Canadian thing till you tell me who you are?

Man: I�m Head of Security, Mr. Johnson.

The Dew looks at the man and then at the rest of the men in the room.

The Dewster: Fine have it your way. Earlier today I walked through an open door, just as I had earlier when that bunghole over there grabbed me and locked me in these darn contraptions.

Dewey says as he lifts up his handcuffed wrist.

The Dewster: I went up to the eighteenth floor to find some Receptionist filing her nails. Now that I think about it she was kind of good looking� you know in an Un-Canadian kind of way. Anyway I tried to get in to see someone about signing a contract with the XwC. But�

Mr. Johnson: So you�re a wrestler?

The Dewster: Don�t you know it�s impolite to interrupt a Canadian?

Mr. Johnson: I�m sorry.

The Dewster: That�s ok, all Un-Canadians are. And to answer your question, duh. Would I be in the Headquarters of XwC if I wasn�t a wrestler?

One of the Security Officers speaks up.

Security Officer: I�m not a wrestler and I�m in the building.

Dewey sits and stews on this for a moment.

The Dewster: The Un-Canadian does have a point. Thanks for not helping here.

The man eyes the Security Officer as if to say shut up. He then turns back towards Dewey.

Mr. Johnson: Go ahead finish your story.

The Dewster: As I was saying but the Receptionist had a wild something or another up her bunghole and wouldn�t let me in without an appointment. I tried explaining to her that I was Canadian but she would have none of it. Can you imagine that? Someone ignoring the fact that I�m Canadian?

Dewey looks around the room at everyone staring at him.

The Dewster: OH!

The man chuckles.

Mr. Johnson: And then what?

The Dewster: And then nothing she so rudely called Security and had them throw me out of the building. You know they could have hurt one of my Canadian limbs� I have the Canadian mind to sue.

Mr. Johnson: What were you doing here tonight?

The Dewster: The same thing I was doing here earlier today. I was trying to get a VHS tape to someone who could get me signed with the XwC.

Mr. Johnson: Where�s the tape now?

The Dewster: (Pointing) That bloody Un-Canadian has it.

The man turns and looks at the Security Officer. Who quickly turns a bright shade of red.

Mr. Johnson: So where is this said VHS tape?

Security Officer: Well, see that�s the problem.

Mr. Johnson: Problem?

The Dewster: Go ahead you bloody Un-Canadian. Tell the man what you did with my VHS tape.

Security Officer: Well I sort of taped over it.

Mr. Johnson: Sort of?

Security Officer: Well, you see while we were waiting for the Police and you to arrive Mr. Johnson we were watching television� and well� A Scooby-Doo marathon came on� and well� I didn�t want to miss it while we were in here with the perp.

Dewey rolls his eyes.

The Dewster: Here we go with the perp thing again. You people are about to get on my last Canadian nerve. Do you people call everyone a perp? Or is it just us Canadians? You know I have the Canadian mind to call my lawyer right this minute and sue for discrimination, slander, harassment, trying to ruin the good name of a Canadian. I'll win too, nobody likes you darn Un-Canadians anyway. I haven't heard anyone else called a perp here tonight. Oh no, just the Canadian. Prejudice Un-Canadians you are, each and every one of you.

Mr. Johnson: Tell me what exactly was on that VHS tape before that moron taped over it?

The Dewster: Oh sure, forget the fact I've been called a perp. Try to get my attention adverted from the real crime here, Canadian disrespect and Canadian discriminaiton. And by the darn way that was the ONLY tape I had of me wrestling. I thought if I showed it to someone then I�d surely get signed. After all every federation needs a Canadian, do they not?

Mr. Johnson: What did you say your name was?

The Dew rolls his eyes.

The Dewster: I didn�t say, no bloody Un-Canadian asked. They were to busy calling me a perp and assuming that I've done something wrong, just because I'm a Canadian. But if you have to know now it�s Smarts, Dewey Smarts, and in case you didn't know I'm Canadian. (As if he hasn't been telling them this.)

The man stands up and turns towards the Security Officer.

Mr. Johnson: Let him go.

Everyone in the room looks astonished, The Dew included.

Security Officer: But Mr. Johnson?

Mr. Johnson: Just do it. He�s already part of XwC.

The Dewster: It's about darn time a Canadian gets some respect around here!

Everyone else: HUH!

Mr. Johnson: We received his contract in the mail today.

The older balding man turns and glances at Dewey. He shakes his head as if confused.

Mr. Johnson: If you sent in a contract with the Company then why were you coming down here to get signed. Could you tell me that?

The Dewster: Cause a Canadian never takes chances. What if I forgot to put postage on it? Or what if it got lost in the mail? That happens you know. What if the mail truck got hijacked and then blown up in some kind of freak accident? Where would I be then? Huh? So a Canadian always has a backup plan.

Mr. Johnson: Back up plan? Then please tell me what you would have done if we had you hauled off to jail?

Dewey pulls out what looks to be a business card.

The Dewster: I would have called Jayson Phoenix, you know the owner of XwC. Actually I tried but that Police Officer over there wouldn�t let me use the phone. He just kept calling me perp. Darn bloody Un-Canadian!

[So it appears that The Dew has gotten out of a sticky situation. If those stupid Un-Canadians would have just asked who he was or even if they would have just let him use the phone then the whole matter would have been taken care of before that Security Officers Scooby marathon. In fact I think I�ll go catch that myself.]