"Look into my eyes," Nick ordered. I obeyed, and was lost in pools of pacific blue. "Will I ever lie to you?" I shook my head no. "I never will," Nick whisperes in my year. "We're gonna be together forever. There'll be no one else. I love you." His words echoed through my mind. Soon we both fell asleep, with me dreaming about Nick, like always, like every day. I was a fool to believe him, of course I didn't realize that at the time. He was my world my everthing. Love had blinded me. I didn't wake up till today.

Year 2001

I never go on tour with Nick. I have a job to take of. I am a marine biologist. And it's a busy job. Nick and I keep in touch through phone calls and e-mail, ICQ... He will write or call every day. Who would suspect a thing? Maybe I'm just dumb. I'm too nusy to care much. I thought we love other enough to be truthful to each other. We have been together for two years. But nothing's ever enough. I've an e-mail tfrom the heads this morning saying that I've a week off. I thought of Nick and the boys at once. I rushed to the airport and catch the next fight. The boys are in Barcelona, Spain. I really like that place. I never thought it's going to be filled with painful memories.

I arrive at the hotel at three that afternoon. I got the guys' room numbers and went up there. I knocked on Nick's room, A.J. answered it. He saw me and slapped my hands. He called to the other guys in the room,

"Hey guys, look who's here."

"Aaaahh, babygirl!!!" Brian screamed, and ran over to hug me, followed by other guys. Kisses on cheeks from Howie, a hug and kiss on my forehead from Kevin, just like my dad.

"Careful guys, you are going to squash me! And I won't be able to see you again," I said laughing. It's definetely good to see my brothers after so long. But someone is missing-- Nick.

"Where's Nick?" I asked them. They glanced at each other doubfully. Brian looked at me sympatheticly.

"What?" I asked them. Something was bugging me at the very back of my head. I ignored it.

"Nick has gone out to get something," Kevin said. I shrugged.

"Look, I'm going to drop my things at my apartment. Then I'll come back later. Okay?" I know something's up. I'm too tired to care about that.

"You wanna go clubbing tonight?" Kevin asked me. I looked at him weirdly.

"No, I think I'll wait for Nick. I'm tired. Maybe some other time." The guys hugged me goodbye and I left.

I sit down on the sofa after I'd finished unpacking. The guys were hiding something for me. I didn't want to know what is it. Not from them. From Nick.

What if he's cheating on me? What if he's with come blond bimbo? What if he doesn't love me anymore? Geez, girl, stop it. You're getting crazy. But I couldn't. My sixth sense was telling me that Nick is cheating. And I trust it. But I could't just take it like this. I needed prove. I decided to clear up my mind. I went out to refresh my mind. I walked along the streets. It's a cold winter and I wasn't wearing much. But the cold helped me to think better,

At seven, I decided to go to the hotel to see the guys and to wait for Nick. I pass by a magazine stall. Somethings catch my eye, I picked it up and bought it.

I chatted to the Brian, A.J., Kevin, Howie for a while and went to Nick's suite to rest, Brian's suite was connected to Nick's. They told me to come them for help whenever needed. They'll be in Brian's. I make myself comfortable and started reading the magazine I just bought. I almost coughed out my coffee when I saw Nick kissing a girl. Only the girl wasn't me, it's some blond bimbo, dated 16/7/2001. And the title of the article was 'Nick Carter Cheating On His Three-Year Girlfriend--Brianna Delana!!! Awww!!!' I read the whole article carefully. I wouldn't believe it if it hadn't been the picture, magazines always tell lies, but I saw it with my own two eyes. It's a very clear picture. And one thing that make me sure was the way Nick kissed the girl. His arms around her waist, his head tilted, his eyes closed. I couldn't find the right words to describe it. But when I see it, I know it. I laid down on the sofa and think. I had just wasted three years of my life on a guy who cheated on me, who knows for how long. Geez, when he said he will never lie to me, he was probably thinking of the other girl when he said that. I thought about it again. Maybe I didn't waste my time. I learned not to fall for people like Nickolas Gene Carter. The typical blond, juggling girls, e.t.c. I scolded myself for being so stupid. I heard footsteps, Nick's and a feminine laughter rang down the hall. My heart skipped a beat. I found a place to hide before they came in.

"It was so much fun, Nick! I love it! What else have you planned?" That squealy voice made me shiver. It rang through my brain. Nick's new girl.

"A lot more. Anything for you, babe. I love you," Nick whispered huskily to the girl's ear. A dagger stabbed into my heart. Only it couldn't get throught. And one was trying with full force to have it through.

"I love you, Nickyboy." That blond bitch said, and grabbed his collar, looking into his eyes. "Forget about that Brianna slut. She is not worth it. She is not there for you. But I am. She does not love you. I do. She is just another girl who wants your money and become famous from her lowly life. She is not hte one for you. I am." I could only hear 'Mmmmm...' from Nick. My head was fuming so bad that I didn't know whether to come out and slugged that bitch and slapped Nick first. I chose to remain hidden. Nick was pinned down to the four-poster bed before he could say anything else. I pulled the adjoining door to Brian's room open and get out of there as fast as possible. Those two didn't even notice of course, they were much too involve in each other.

Brian saw me dashing into his room. He opened his arms wide and hold me tight.

"It's alright to cry, Brianna," he told me. I hesitated. I don't like to cry. I am not the weak type of girl. I prefer to keep cool, stay strong. Even at certain hard situations. But I couldn't hold it any longer. I could feel tears brimming my eyes like a rushing river. I sobbed onto his shoulder. Kevin stepped into the room and saw me sobbing. He dashed through the ajoining door. I heard the blond girl screamed.

"What the hell you think you're doing?" This question was directed to both Nick and the girl from Kevin. They huddled against each other. Kevin pried the girl off Nick and practically threw her out of the room, with her clothes after her. Shoutings started, and lead to the coming of other guys to see what is all the commotion about. They waited for their turn to yell at Nick. Howie nicely handed a T-shirt and a pair of jeans to Nick. I losened myself from Brian and ran out of the room.

"Brianna!" I could hear Brian calling after me, and Nick, "Oh my god! Oh no!" I tumbled down the stairs and plunged for the exit. Mumbling apologies to those I crashed into. I was deeply embarrassed for the scene I caused.

"Wait, Brianna! Wait!" I ignored the crying pleas from both Nick and Brian. I jumoed into my Porsche and sped away. Driving blindly down the streets. I needed to get away from all these. Far away.

Nick watched as Brianna's car sped away. He wished with all his heart that it'll stay, with the driver in it. He felt a large part of him being taken away as Brianna's car went out of his sight. He slumped down on the shiny marble floor, ignoring the stares and audience, which reflected the face of a cute blond boy. But what is beneath the good-looking face of him? Nick asked himself. It's all his fault, and he know that well. But being Nick, he asked Brian,

"What have I done? And why? Why am I so stupid? I..." He was on the verge of tears. Brian laid his hand on Nick's shoulder and said,

"I don't know, man. I really don't. But we have to leave. We were attracting attention."

"Who cares? She's gone." His nose was running by now. And his eyes were all red.

"Come on, Frack. Babygirl wouldn't like to see you like this. Don't be stubborn," Brian said softly. Nick, not arguing, dashed to the nearest staircase. Lots of thoughts swirled in his head, faster than he's moving. He couldn't figure out the answers to them fast enough. Why is he so stupid? He lost the best thing that had ever happened to him, the most impotant person to him on the world. Just because of his stupidity, his lack of control of himself. There was no one to be blame for. No one but himself. He is going to be lost forever. Lost until Brianna came back to him, until he can reach Brianna's heart again, until he could have her in his arms again.