23^rd March 2008

Easter Sunday!

Tidworth  3  Barton Stacey  8

With snow falling on an icy wind, Barton Stacey travelled to Tidworth for this Easter Sunday tie. Inclement weather the previous week had knocked Cross Country Engineering sponsored Barton Stacey off their stride, losing heavily to the league leaders; Today’s opposition, despite knocking Barton Stacey out of the cup earlier in the season, would not prove as stern a test.  Oozing Chilli and Tortilla from every pore following the previous night’s tented exhortations, the cold had no chance of penetrating the bones of certain Barton boys!

Barton kicked off with Rhys Betteridge in goal, Lee Maspero and Chris Dewey in the centre of defence and Spanky and Wayne Turpin the full backs. Nick Bettisun, Martyn Doolin, Alex Iddles and Dan Knott made up the midfield while Dan de Heaume returned in attack alongside in form striker Simon Schulze. Luke Tiller was a work in progress, still in transit in pyjamas, after ignoring his alarm clock arriving five minutes after kick off to provide useful back up on the bench.  

Barton Stacey started the game well, Martyn Doolin heading in a Dan Knott corner in the fifth minute.  In a repeat move two minutes later Alex Iddles headed against the bar.  Tidworth were fortunate to equalise in the twentieth minute, a looping header giving keeper Betteridge no chance.  Alex Iddles blazed his long distance shot over the bar before Nick Bettison broke down the right to set Dan de Heaume up to regain Barton’s lead.  In the fortieth minute it was Simon Schulze’s superb ball from the left that enabled de Heame to score his second and Barton’s third.  With half time imminent it became apparent the wheels were starting to come off the Tidworth football venture. Discord between midfield, defence and the diminutive keeper manifesting itself in a series of heated verbal exchanges; The Emperor Roscoe in midfield the chief accuser as the players paused for half time. 

With manager Purdue calling for more of the same, Barton started the second half where they had finished the first, Alex Iddles breaking through the middle to fire his shot wide. In a moment of brilliance the Tidworth strike force combined to pull a goal back, Striker Donny ducking a challenge, to feed his partner Peanut, who roasted the excellent Chris Dewey before stroking his shot under the diving Betteridge.  Barton stuck to their game and were soon creating more chances, Alex Iddles bursting through the defence to side foot his shot past the keeper and post. Dan de Heaume set up an overlapping Simon Schulze to score Barton’s fourth, before Alex Iddles’s cultured cross-field ball found Nick Bettisun who beat the keeper with a side foot lob to make it five. Luke Tiller came on for Dan Knott to add fresh legs to Barton’s attack, before the game took a comic turn in the seventy-fifth minute.  A ball through the middle found Simon Schulze in a marginally offside position. The ref looked to the rakish third official, who was deep in conversation with female company; judging by his reaction, Roscoe’s current paramour! Simon Schulze beat the keeper to score Barton’s sixth and the Emperor exploded. A two minute tirade against his colleague standing in on the line resulted in the two having to be kept apart, a third Tidworth player fed up with the company he was keeping, left the field to go home. Roscoe on realising that a team mate had jumped ship, forced to ask his easily distracted team mate running the line, to help out in defence. The fair maiden in question, previously buoyed by the jealous actions of her lover (allegedly), disgruntled at being dumped for the last ten minutes of a football match that was all but over, leaving the field to seek less sporty connections.

The game resumed where it had left off, Alex Iddles heading narrowly wide from a corner before finally fixing his radar to score Barton’s seventh in the eightieth minute. Donny pulled a goal back a minute later for Tidworth, Alex Idles with his new found taste for scoring, striking Barton’s eighth in the ninetieth minute. Tidworth striker Peanut, unchallenged, fell in a heap in the centre circle and despite the current season, was unable to resurrect himself. Emperor Roscoe chucking in the towel and asking the ref to finish the game, which he duly did. A superb performance by Barton Stacey, who, with a little less profligacy in front of goal, could have hit double figures.