July 4th Weekend 2004 (Weekend 6)

Friday:

Talk about a full house! Some of this crazy crew actually arrived on Thursday night to get the party started early. When Stacy, Jeff and myself rolled in there was already beer in the fridge and booze in the freezer. There was rumors of a possible Toga party to be held, and a heated argument as to whether Taco Toss or Starboard would be our first destination. The jello shot process was started with 80 shots going in to the fridge by 3:00. Silly me thinking THAT would be enough. 5-sh we all headed down to Taco Toss (Scott won the argument - again!) where Sam and Natalie learned how to dance "the bowler" as well as "the old man." Stacy and I made friends with the bartender - $16, $12, $8, Free! - and gooey nachos were eaten by the masses.

Back to the house we all stumbled, where Rob proceeded to hand out the jello shots, and the rest of us proceeded to pound them. There was a mini dance party going on and Ernesto decided that we should skip the shot glasses and pour the GM straight down our throats. (And we all wonder why we are sick today?) At this point my memory gets a little fuzzy and then fades to black, so anyone and everyone should feel free to contribute to this part. There was a whole crew that headed down to the Rudder. I know that Tim had problems ordering beer - "Coors Light, No, no, wait, Amstel, no, Coors, wait, no - 2 Amstels" and Rob fell down and went boom - forgetting for some reason that there are 3 not just 2 steps at the Rudder and winding up with a skinned knee. I was sent home - Thanks Sam! - and Scott's friend Adam saved me from certain death by pulling me out of traffic. Christy and Stacy decided to initiate Scott's sister Tammy by pouring as many shots into her as possible and effectively breaking her for the next 24 hours.

Eventually everyone made it home, there was chaos in the back bedroom as 50 people tried to find a place to sleep. Birch from upstairs took charge and started assigning people to spots. I made the mistake of passing out in the bathroom for a while and lost my bed. Thank goodness for wall to wall air mattress, as I think that eventually everyone found something semi-soft to sleep on.

Saturday

Owwww, my head. Stupid GM...
As usual the back room was up by 9:00. Somehow Rob was woken up and tantalized us with the promise that he would actually go down to the water. HA! Christy and Lisa vowed to go to Wal-Mart but somehow didn't actually make it out the door until 1:30. The I Love the 70's marathon began, which was entertaining for those of us who were actually born during and/or remember that era. Cherries were passed around, and I can confidently say that almost everyone in the house had a cherry at one point this week-end. Due to Saturday's triple jam, we had to be there by 3:30, which of course meant that we had to start the pre-jam party at 2! Rob and I began yet another round of jello-shot factory with the Boston rally caps as uniforms. We sent out several people for ingredients as we made them - thanks Scott, Stevo, Lisa and Laura! This time we made over 100, with the special yellow ones containing everclear at Scott's request. As we slid the last tray into the fridge, we thought SURELY that will be enough...

Off to Jam session - where the first round of marker craziness began. Scott wrote crazier and more obscene things on any and every bare skin he could find. Beers went round. I am sure there were bands playing, but I don't really remember much about them. The Beastie Boys "Sabotage" trio made an appearance. I can tell you that the spank-fest began at this time with an apparent competition among the guys as to who could smack the hardest. Remember kids, no boy-on-boy spanking allowed. Christy - our beacon of hope and solidarity did not attend - leading to scattered clumps of dewbaucherers and far fewer GM shots.

Back to the house, Jello shots were ready. I went for a swim in the ocean and when I returned most of the j-shots were consumed. How we went through that many in less than 20 minutes I still don't understand... Half naked firemen had a wrestling contest in the living room with lotion for extra slippery weirdness. Scott pulled out the belt at this time in order to REALLY make sure it hurt, and insisted that we all take turns trying to hurt him. He's not lying when he says that he can take it. Eventually everyone was bathed and it was back to the bars we went. Oh, except for Rob, who went down like a sack of bricks. There is pictorial evidence as to what happens to fools who pass out early. To the Rudder I say! Stacy, Lisa and Christy took the night off from drinking and attempted to be the voice of reason among the nutty drunks. Andrea jumped on some guy's back but he didn't catch her, leading to yet another set of war-wounds. Sam had the accessory of the night with the light-up sign that even MRGG appreciated. As we all staggered home, making critical stops for pizza and/or wings we wondered how we could do it all again tomorrow. Back at the house, people gave up on glassware, chugging straight from the bottles. At some point the guys decided to all take off thier shirts, too bad the girls didn't follow suit and all took off. Eventually it turned kind of strange having just half-naked men standing around with no women in sight and they all re-dressed. There was a brief sniper lesson in the street, and then it was time for bed. Some random guy "I am not random" got sick in the bathroom and then passed at naked. We blame Jeff.

Molly Adds:
Add to Saturday night when Birch came in the back room to help find sleeping space:

Molly, Lauren and the Chubb sisters were trying to find extra floor space for the queen sized air mattress that Lauren brought from home. We were determined to make it fit between the two beds in the back room (even though by looking at it we knew it wouldn't fit...) So four girls, one very large air mattress, an out of control air pump and one too many irish car bombs lead to Rennae's hair getting caught in the air pump and the corner of the mattress getting a hole punched through it. While Birch perfomed his Rescue 911 EMT skills on Rennae and the pump, Molly searched the house for something to tape the hole in the airmattress so we could attempt to blow it up again. Birch patched the matress with a bandaide and put all of us drunks to bed. He tried to hang out in the room with all of the ladies but couldn't handle the girl talk and had to leave.

In case anyone thinks it sounds like a good idea in the future.....band-aids don't hold the air in an air mattress. Not even when u are drunk.

Lori Adds:
Add to Saturday night when Birch came in the back room to help find sleeping space:

Birch enjoyed the girl talk way too much because he decided to come back for more. He decided to jump in on Laura and my conversation and proceed to give Laura dating advice. When both of us finally rolled over, he stopped lecturing and went to bed.

Andrea Adds:
Adding to Saturday, Molly, Sam, Natalie and I made a secret trip to Fashion Bug, uh, I mean Walmart? Tim also got "arrested" that night and Rob almost got into a fight with a Yankees fan. Oh, was Basil wearing an orange hat again?

I think the entire house was wasted enough by the end of Jam Session on Sunday which all the girls were brave enough to stay at to close it out. There was plenty of dancing and and losing of voices. Someone didn't make it out to the bars (Raff, not Rob), and upstairs Scott and I made friends with the 9yr old and 11yr old girls next door who gave us glow in the dark earrings. They were cool as hell and caught us up with some elementary school gossip. Oh, and I can't tell you how confused I was when I was woken up on Sunday night and couldn't figure out why I was floating on my air mattress through the hallway. Took me a while to register Scott and Hydan's giggling and Lori yelling "put her down."

Sunday

EWWWWWWW, the house is disgusting. Christy, Ernesto and Stacy called a house meeting to discuss the yuckiness of it all. It was decided that everyone has to clean all the time no matter how hungover you are. Also, NO MORE PEANUTS! We all wondered if they were having an intervention to discuss our drunkenness, but it couldn't be determined WHO the intervention might be for. Mad Scrubbing took place with even the window sills being dusted and the couch getting vacuumed. Yeah Clean! After all the hard work, Rob, Jeff, Sam, Laura, Lori, Raf, Andrea, Natalie, Sam, Ernesto and I decided that going to the beach just seemed like too much effort and that going to the Starboard to drink at 1:30 in the afternoon was a MUCH better idea. In order to make it more interesting, a pen was brought along in order to keep track of beverages. Remember kids - a slash for mixed drinks, an 'X' for beers and a circle for shots. We made friends with many strangers including some guy on stilts. I have to say that at some point this costume thing is going to go too far...

Back to the house to prep for Jam Session. Jeff is in the game, Stevo is the game, I have the game, and some random guy made the game. Whoo-hoo. We have decided to abstain from Jello today.

To Jam - Kristen AND MRGG. Now both the boys and the girls have someone to droll for. How great is that? AGAIN with the marker thing - this time made more crazy by the fact that we were also writing on strangers. We also acquired fake tattoos along the way, just to really make the scrubbing up even more difficult. Luckily this time everyone was drinking and we maintained our circle of power in front of the DJ booth. Lisa learned an important lesson as to who is and who is not acceptable to flirt with when drunk... Somewhere along the way we lost the marker, which is good as I had 19 drinks on my arm by 7:00! As the light started to fade we headed home for dinner and the fireworks show. Christy ensured our safety by pulling us off the railing of the deck as we oohhed and aahhhed over the fireworks. Stevo passed out downstairs -haha mid show. It was off to the Cork for the first wave of drunk-kids. Natalie and I quickly grew bored of watching all of the men drool over Kristin, so I dragged her to the Starboard to teach her about perks from flirting with strange men. Two body shots and several free drinks later she was considered to have popped her Dewey cherry. Back to the Cork for more dancing and crazy drinking while MRGG played. Christy lost speech function at some point and Sam was kind enough bring her home. There was no dance party as none of us were capable of that much effort. So we had late night movie time. Scott had a single random burst of energy when he tried to move Andrea's bed out into the street. Fortunately for her his energy didn't last that long and they never made it though the door.

Monday