2) "Kills all kinds of insects. Warning: This spray is harmful to bees." - found on a can of insecticide
3) "Warning: this is not an alcoholic beverage. DO NOT DRINK." - found on a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
4) "Do not use while sleeping." - found on a Sears hairdryer.
5) "Directions: Use like regular soap." - found on a bar of Dove soap.
6) "Serving suggestion: Defrost." - found on a frozen dinner.
7) "Do not iron clothes on body." - found on an Rowenta iron.
8) "Warning: may cause drowsiness." - found on Nytol (a sleep-aid).
9) "Warning: contains nuts." - found on Sainsbury's peanuts.
2) Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
3) Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
4) I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
5) Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
6) When there's a will, I want to be in it.
7) CATS: The other white meat.
8) Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
9) Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
10) He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged
11) JESUS SAVES . . . he Passes It To Gretzky . . . Gretzky Shoots . . . he Scores!
12) Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
13) Grow your own dope, plant a man.
14) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
15) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
16) Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
17) Be nice to your kids. . . they'll pick out your nursing home.