| Scene 6 � The Evil Plan Timmy: Mr. Blaze, you wanted to see me? Kyle: Yes, Timmy the Talking Termite. And please, call me Kyle. Timmy: Sure thing, Mr. Blaze. Kyle: Now Timmy, aren�t you fed up with the world today? Timmy: No, not really. Kyle: Silence! Don�t make me call Terminix! Timmy: Sorry boss. Kyle: Well� aren�t you fed up with the world today? Timmy: Ummm� O yeah, sure thing boss. Kyle: Well, Timmy the Talking Termite, I think it is time we take over the world! Muwahahahahahaha�. Timmy: Ummm� sure thing boss� anything you say. Kyle: I have the whole plan already worked out� To begin my plan, I must first seduce a wealthy heiress. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, which is stunned by my arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did he come from? And why does he look so hot? These are the questions the people of Earth will be asking about me. Next, you will sabotage the internet. This will cause countless hordes of corporate suits to flock to us, begging to do our every bidding. My name and yours will become synonymous with Evil, as lesser men whisper our names in terror. Finally, I will unleash my Great Supernatural Forces, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. This will all be done from an Underground Secret Headquarters of Doom, an excellent choice if I might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect me as their new god. Timmy: Right� Kyle: Get ready Timmy, we are about to embark on a grand adventure� muwahahahahaha. (Timmy joins in) Scene 7 � The Wealthy Heiress and her Secretary (Tiffany typing at desk) Veronica: Tiffany, can I see you in my office please? (Tiffany gets up, walks into room) Tiffany: Why is it you wanted to see me, Miss Helmsley? Veronica: Well, Miss Wright, there seems to be some discrepancies on the last memo you typed. Tiffany: Really? Veronica: Yes, the dates are all wrong. Tiffany: Hmmm. I�m sorry Miss Helmsley. (short pause) I don�t want to seem like I�m using it as an excuse, but I feel I haven�t been working my best since the air conditioner broke. Veronica: Yes, it has made things a bit tougher than usual. Tiffany: I know! Especially with this hot, hot weather we�re having. (says this sentence in sexiest voice) (sexy voices for rest of scene) Veronica: Yeah, it is really hot in here. (Veronica takes off jacket, drops it on the floor) Oops. I seem to have dropped my jacket on the floor. Could you be ever so kind as to pick it up and put in on the chair for me? Tiffany: No problem. (Tiffany bends down, close up of Veronica watching, She picks up the jacket, stands up) Veronica: Those must be pretty heavy. Tiffany: No, I�ve got it. (motioning to jacket) Veronica: I wasn�t talking about those (looks at Tiffany�s chest) Tiffany: Oh? (Veronica leads Tiffany to her desk, Tiffany slips out of her jacket in the process, some unbuttoning occurs, scene fades to black just as Tiffany gets on her knees while Veronica is sitting in her chair behind a desk) Scene 8 � The Practice (Jeremiah playing) Cornelius: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa� wait a minute here. You do realize that the fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist, right? Jeremiah: Huh? Cornelius: You heard me, now try it again without all that noise coming from your mouth, all right? Jeremiah: Okay. (Mitchell playing) Julius: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa� wait a minute here. You do realize that the fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist, right? Mitchell: I�m getting the weirdest feeling of d�j� vu. Julius: Deja what? What in the hell are you talking about boy? Mitchell: Nothing, nevermind. Julius: All right, from the top, without all that noise coming from your mouth this time. Mitchell: Okee Dokee (Jeremiah playing) Jeremiah: (singing) Jesus, you are my world, FUCKING� COCKSUCKER� SHIT! Cornelius: Whoa big fella� What did you just say? Jeremiah: What now!?!? Cornelius: Shut up a minute� I�m thinking� Jeremiah: Oh great! The delicate genius needs to think! Cornelius: Hey! Do you want to make it big? Jeremiah: Well� yeah, Jeremiah does. Cornelius: Okay then. It�s agreed, you need some one else to sing your songs. Jeremiah: Oh, come on Cornelius! You know that Christian Punk music doesn�t have a different singer. Jeremiah�s the leader of the band, thus Jeremiah sings the songs. Cornelius: You�re a damn fool Jeremiah! Jeremiah: Ahhh. (moving arm from right to left while saying it) (Mitchell playing) Mitchell: (singing) Baruch ata Adonai, I�m such a lonely boy� (kicking) Julius: What in the hell are you doing? Mitchell: Ummmm� well�. Julius: Well, what is it?!? You just destroyed a bunch of stuff! Mitchell: Ummm� at least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. Julius: What in the hell does that have to do with anything?!? Mitchell: I don�t know, just trying to make things better. Julius: Ugh� (shakes head) (scene fades to black) Scene 9 � The Kidnapping (Scene unfades, we see Tiffany and Veronica rebuttoning and straightening out clothing, hair, etc.) Veronica: Well, Miss Wright, I hope I wasn�t too harsh. Tiffany: You weren�t harsh at all. You were, oh so very gentle. (Veronica smirks as Tiffany walks away, fades to Kyle using internet to find a local wealthy heiress. Kyle figures out Veronica Helmsley to be exceedingly wealthy. Kyle walks to Tiffany Wright, Veronica Helmsley�s secretary) Kyle: Why hello beautiful. I have an appointment to see Miss Veronica Helmsley. Tiffany: Miss Helmsley�s busy, sir. Kyle: Come on now Tiffany, let me in. (brushing hand on her shoulder) Tiffany: (little giggle type laughter and slight smiles) How do you know my name? Kyle: I know everything, baby� Including the fact that she�s not busy� Now, you wouldn�t want to disappoint me, would you? Tiffany: Of course not Mr� Kyle: Braxton, Russell Braxton. Tiffany: Okay Mr. Braxton, I�ll tell Veronica you�re here to see her. Kyle: Okay. (Kyle walks into her office, sees Veronica for the first time� Barracuda plays when he sees her.) Veronica: You must be the handsome, British man Miss Wright told me was coming to see me. Mr. Braxton is it? Kyle: British? Hardly� Mr. Braxton, only on weekdays? Miss Helmsley, call me Kyle. Veronica: Why Kyle? Kyle: That�s my name, baby. Veronica: Oh? Why would you tell my secretary that you were a British man named Russell Braxton? Kyle: Some questions are left better unanswered. Veronica: Okay� So, how can I help you Kyle? Kyle: It�s not how you can help me, it�s how I can help you. Veronica: Oh? Kyle: (Kyle gets up and walks towards Veronica) Yes, Veronica, you seem like a busy woman. Am I right? Veronica: Well, you could say that. Kyle: And Veronica, I bet work can be very, very stressful, Am I right? Veronica: It can be pretty stressful, yes. Kyle: Well, now why don�t I relieve some of that stress for you? (starts giving her massage) Veronica: Oh, that feels good. Kyle: It does, doesn�t it? Veronica: Oh yeah. Kyle: (starts to walk infront of her) I can do things that feel a whole lot better than that. Why don�t we take a walk? Veronica: (under spell) Okay. (presses button) Tiffany, hold my calls. Scene 10 � The Grits 2 (Julius and Cornelius eating grits) Julius: I could eat grits all day. Cornelius: Me too. Julius: I wonder who invented grits. Cornelius: Me too. Julius: He deserves some sort of award. Cornelius: Dig. Julius: He deserves to have a planet named after him or something. Cornelius: Uh huh. Julius: Hell, he should have a freakin� galaxy named after him. Cornelius: What would they call it? Julius: �Grits Guy� galaxy. Cornelius: What if the person who invented grits wasn�t a man, but was a woman? Julius: Stop talking crazy, Cornelius. Cornelius: Why don�t you stop talking about grits you damn fool. Julius: Ahh, forget it� Let�s just go to Old Navy� Hopefully we don�t pull the same thing your idiotic wife did. Cornelius: Yeah� that was pretty damn funny. Julius: Hahaha, indeed. Cornelius: TJ Maxx� Dats Hilarious. Julius: Solid. |