| Scene 41 � 3some 2 (Mitchell, Cornelius, and Julius standing around, not sure what to do next) (Hypnotized Jeremiah tied up) Mitchell: Well, I should probably be getting back to what I was doing earlier� Julius: Uh huh� (slightly curious) Mitchell: All right, so I guess you guys can watch him while I go watch the other guy downstairs. (begins to re-unbutton shirt, then leaves scene) Cornelius: He�s one strange little man. Julius: You got that right. (Mitchell is downstairs, ladies are waiting, Timmy still a bit shocked yet excited) Mitchell: Well, where were we? Tiffany: We were about to take your pants off. Mitchell: (rubs chin while saying this) Indeed you were. Just give me one second, I need to do something first. (turns Timmy�s chair around so he can�t see) All right, let�s do this. Veronica: Finally. Scene 42 � The Future (Kyle driving with Johnny Jihad) (trying to think of something to say� break the ice) Johnny: So, going back to 2003, eh? Kyle: Yeah� I hope you remember it well. Johnny: Yeah, I remember it� Damn, Jeremiah Cottonsworth� I coulda sworn he would be bigger than Creed, but I guess I was wrong� Dead wrong. Kyle: How so? Johnny: Everything was going great until damn Cottonsworth sexually harassed Tiffany Wright� She�s a fine lady, and she put up with a lot of crap from him, and I commend her for that, but I suppose the harassment was the last straw. She quit the band and sued him for pretty much every penny for the stalking and the harassment and other disturbing actions. I tried to warn him about that, after all, she did fall in love with that Mitchell Rickelstein. He just didn�t listen. His life went down the tubes and he took me with him. Raving psycho� You know, you look a lot like that Mitchell Rickelstein. That�s so weird� Wait, now I remember why your name sounds so familiar� My memory is a bit sketchy, but you�re the one who kidnapped all of them� It�s too bad you get arrested, though. Kyle: Arrested? Johnny: Yeah. Me, Mitchell, and Cornelius are waiting for you at your lair as you speak. Oh, I just realized something� I can meet my younger self! Kyle: No, you mustn�t see yourself. It could cause a major paradox in the space time continuum. Now, you must tell me exactly how everything happened for me to get arrested. We must avoid that happening. Johnny: All right. Kyle: Thank god I keep the truck in a separate garage then my lair most of the time. We can have a strategy session in the garage. Johnny: Sounds good. Kyle: Indeed. Scene 43 � The Knuckle (Sex type scene over) Tiffany: Wow, that was great! Veronica: Yeah� What was that part at the end? Mitchell: A counter-clockwise swirl (motions with finger). Timmy: (facing opposite direction) What I do usually involves a knuckle. Mitchell: The knuckle is for amateurs. Veronica: I hate the knuckle� It�s like a big budget movie that goes no where! Timmy: Hey, I have found success with the knuckle. Mitchell: Hah! Knuckle indeed� (shakes head in disapproval) Scene 44 � Strategy Session (Arrives at garage, having strategy session) Kyle: All right, so you said Jeremiah Cottonsworth pretty much screws you over. Johnny: Right. Kyle: So I propose that we do something to him to keep him from messing you up. Johnny: All right. But what about the 5-0? They�re waiting for you at your lair. Kyle: Hmmm� that�ll be a toughy. Well, I could bust in and shoot down the police. Johnny: Yeah, that�s what you did. But you didn�t get all of them but they sure did get you. Kyle: Hmm� New plan� Well, I guess I could pretend to be Mitchell Rickelstein. After all, you said I look like him. Then the police won�t do anything to me because they think I am Mitchell Rickelstein. Then, I�ll try to be alone with that Mitchell, kill him, hide his body, and live a double life� It�s the only way. Johnny: You�re the evil genius. Kyle: You bet I am. Scene 45 � Detective Herlock Sholmes (Detective arrives at lair to investigate; Detective busts through door) Detective: Hello, I�m Detective Herlock Sholmes. (handshake) You called on the behalf of one Tiffany Wright? Cornelius: Yeah, this dude Kyle Blaze kidnapped both those white girls over there. We think he�ll be coming back soon. Detective: Hmm. Is that so? (Cornelius nods head) Okay, well I�ll just keep you guys company until he comes back then... along with the reinforcements I have hiding in the back yard. (shot of phony detectives hiding out back) In the mean time, I�d like to ask them a few questions. Cornelius: Knock yourself out. (Detective walks over to Veronica and Tiffany) Detective: Hi ladies. I came over as soon as Cornelius called about the whole ordeal. So, how are you both doing? Tiffany: (talking all stressed like) How do you think? Everything in my life is all crazy right now. It�s all that damn Kyle Blaze�s fault too! Everything was all steady, then Miss Helmsley was kidnapped, so I lost my job cause there was no job for me to have. Then I became the lead singer of a mainstream religious punk group, but the band leader is really creeping me out. Veronica: Yeah, my company is getting its ass kicked because there was no one to run the damn thing! And Kyle like put some crazy voodoo spell on me or something, so whenever I see him or Mitchell, I guess cause they both look alike, I get all horny and want to sex him up �til the cows come home! (pelvic thrust) Detective: Is that so� Veronica: Yes, it is so. Very much so. Detective: Indeed. Veronica: Yeah, indeed� what�s your point? Detective: Okay� I�d like to meet this Mitchell that you mentioned. Maybe he can shed some light on the situation. Veronica: (yelling over to Mitchell) Mitchell! The detective wants to talk to you! (Mitchell walks over) Detective: Hi, Mitchell. I�m Detective Herlock Sholmes. I�d like to ask you a few questions. Mitchell: All right. Shoot. Detective: Well, what is your involvement in this whole thing? Mitchell: Well, Cornelius told me and Julius that something strange was happening at Jeremiah�s place. So all three of us went over there and found a note that said he kidnapped Tiffany, Jeremiah, and Veronica and brought them to his lair. On a hunch, we believed this to be his lair, and sure enough it is. I found Tiffany and Veronica tied up so I untied them� and well, they �thanked� me. Boy did they thank me good. Detective: (looks over at Veronica and Tiffany, says to Mitchell) Nice� Mitchell: You bet it was. Hell, I�m ready for Round 2. You girls wanna go upstairs? Tiffany and Veronica: YA! (The three walk away� Mitchell has arms around both girls, turns around, looks at detective, pumps his fist, detective reciprocates, detective goes to Julius and Cornelius for some questions) Detective: So guys, is there anything I missed? (hands notebook over to them, both read over notes) Cornelius: Mitchell had a threesome with Tiffany and Veronica!?!?! Julius: What are you, a fucking idiot? Of course they did� What with the unbuttoned shirt and the lipstick on the face and the sex hair! My God the sex hair! Cornelius: I didn�t notice. Julius: Did you notice all the screaming coming from downstairs� the sexual moans and the dirty talk?!?!? Cornelius: I thought they were watching the Spice Channel. Julius: Jesus H. Christ!� Now I am completely sure you and your wife are meant for each other. You�re both complete idiots. Hey detective, listen to this! Cornelius�s wife walked into a TJ Maxx thinking it was Old Navy! Detective: Hahaha, dats hilarious. Julius: Solid. |