| Scene 16 � The Tryouts (Tryouts for singer of Jeremiah�s band) Cornelius: All right Jeremiah, let�s start these tryout. Jeremiah: Yeah, let�s do it. (Several people doing several things for tryout, mostly dancing, Lady Marmalade playing in background) Drummer: I liked that last one. Jeremiah: She was a stripper! Cornelius: Yes she was. (Half laughing) All right, Jeremiah, you ready for the next hopeful? Jeremiah: Yeah, send �em in. Tiffany: Hi, I�m Tiffany Wright. (Shakes hands w/Jeremiah) Jeremiah: Hi, I�m Jeremiah Cottonsworth, this is my man Cornelius, and we call him Drummy� he�s my drummer. (Drummy makes a face like, �look at me, I�m cool�) Cornelius: I ain�t yo� man� (Mumbles) punk ass son of a bitch . Jeremiah: Okay� Anyway, Tiffany, as you know, we are looking for someone to be the lead singer of my rock group here. Tiffany: Why aren�t you the lead singer? It is your band. Jeremiah: Well, I kinda spaz out whenever I try to sing. Tiffany: Oh� it happens. Jeremiah: Yeah� Well, I�d like to see what you can do. Tiffany: Okay. (starts singing song� Jeremiah nods heads in approval) Jeremiah: That was beautiful� You�re in! Tiffany: Really!? This is great! Jeremiah: Why haven�t I seen you singing before? Tiffany: Well, I was a secretary for Veronica Helmsley, you know the wealthy heiress, but she disappeared and I don�t know where she is and I need money so I thought I would get a new job. Jeremiah: Hmm� I see� (talks softly so Tiffany can�t hear) Cornelius: Jeremiah, you�re a damn fool. She can�t be the lead singer in the band! Jeremiah: Why not? Cornelius: She has a heavenly voice� this is a punk band� the two don�t mix you ass! Jeremiah: Hmmm� I see your point. Can�t we just let her be the singer, she�s really good. Cornelius: You like her, don�t you? Jeremiah: Come on, Cornelius. You know I can�t let a girl get in the way of me destroying that Mitch Rickelstein. Cornelius: Whatever� I�ve warned you you�re setting yourself up for disaster. Jeremiah: I know, I know� Scene 17 � The Practice 2 (Mitchell practicing songs) (Julius tieing Mitchell to chair) Julius: There, these ropes should keep you to your chair. Mitchell: Come on, Julius. This isn�t necessary. Julius: I think it is very necessary. Mitchell: These ropes are cutting off the circulation to my feet! Julius: Oh, a little loss of blood never hurt anyone. Mitchell: Yes it did! Julius: All right, so a few people lost their feet because they were tied to a chair� big deal! Mitchell: Big deal?!?!?! These are my feet we�re talking about here! Julius: Yeah, what�s your point? Mitchell: (blank stare) You�ve got to be kidding me. Julius: (shrugs shoulders) Mitchell: Forget it. Let�s just do this thing. Julius: That�s the smartest thing I�ve heard all day. Mitchell: (Song) 1 2 3 4� dododododo� Baruch ata Adonai� I�m such a lonely boy (fighting the ropes) Baruch ata Adonai� Adonai won�t you help me please. Dododododo� I NEED A PRAYER! I�M HAIRY AS A BEAR! THE GIRLS WON�T EVEN LOOK AT ME! AHHHHHHH! I NEED A PRAYER! I REALLY REALLY CARE! WHY AM I ALL ALONE! chorus: yitgadal vayitkadash my wallet just went through the wash IM IN PAIN I'VE GOT NOTHING TO GAIN I'M A HOPELESS PEICE OF...... OF...... CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!! (breaks free of rope, starts kicking things) Julius: Ugh (shakes head) Mitchell: Sorry! Scene 18 � The Time Machine (Working on car) Timmy: Why did you buy this p.o.s. car? Kyle: First of all, it isn�t a p.o.s. car. Second of all, I bought it because it is involved in my master plan. Timmy: What is your plan? Kyle: Oh, you�ll find out soon enough. Timmy: Hmmm� Okay� Scene 19 � Wanting Sex Veronica: Kyle? Where are you Kyle? I want you bad! Kyle: Here I am. Veronica: Kyle! You�ve returned to me! Kyle: Yes, yes, I�ve returned. Veronica: Untie me, please� I�ll give you the best night of your life. Kyle: The best night of my life will be when the whole world gets on its hands and knees and bows to me. Veronica: If you untie me, I�ll get on my hands and knees, but I�ll be doing more than just bowing� you catch my drift? Kyle: Yes, I do catch your drift. But, no� I can not untie you. Veronica: Please! I want to explore the space while we have hot, wild sex! Kyle: No matter how tempting that sounds, I�m a busy man, and I�ve got a world to conquer. Timmy will come by to give you some food. Veronica: Ooooo (leaning back and making sexual moans) Don�t you want this body? Ooooo� Kyle: Maybe later. Scene 20 � The Time Machine 2 Timmy: (Soliloquy) I wonder what Mr. Blaze is doing to that old car? Did he go crazy or something? What can be so special about a �97 Ford Ranger? Why won�t he tell me? What the hell is going on? Kyle: Timmy! Come quick, I have something to show you! Timmy: I wonder what that crackpot�s going to show me. (Timmy goes outside to see the car) Timmy: You wanted to show me something, Mr. Blaze? Kyle: Yes, Timmy the Talking Termite. I do want to show you something. Timmy: Umm..... Mr. Blaze? What have you done to that truck? Kyle: Ahhhh, Timmy, I've completed one of the dreams that man has had ever since the Renaissance, a time traveling machine. Timmy: Whoa! How does it work?!?!?! Kyle: Oh, it is all so simple really. It works with what I call the Flux Capacitor. A couple of days ago after I took a shower, I slipped and hit my head on the sink. Instead of losing consciencness, my brain started working even harder and that�s where I thought of, the Flux Capacitor. Timmy: This seems oddly familiar. Kyle: I can remember it like it was yesterday. (rubs chin) (Flashback) Kyle: (Whistling� then falls) Ahhh crap! Wait a second here� hmm� (scribbles some things) muwahahahaha. (End of Flashback) Kyle: Now that you just saw the birth of the Flux Capacitor happen before your very eyes, I guess you have no questions. Timmy: Ummm� Mr. Blaze, I didn�t see anything, all you did was rub your chin. Kyle: Indeed. |