| Scene 1 � The Dream (starts off as dream� �All your base are belong to us� is the dream) Kyle: (wakes up from dream when movie is over) Now I know what I must do� Muwahahahahaha Scene 2 � The Grits (Cornelius and Julius eating grits at table) Cornelius: O man, this is some good grits. Julius: Yeah, best grits I�ve had in years! Cornelius: That reminds me of something. Julius: What�s that? Cornelius: Yesterday afternoon, my wife went out shopping, and she went to what she thought was Old Navy, but it turned out to be TJ Maxx!� She was like, �Wait a minute here, dis ain�t Old Navy, dis is TJ Maxx.� Julius: That�s pretty damn funny, Cornelius. Cornelius: Solid. Julius: Hey, I think we need to go out and find some new blood for the religious rock group sensation. Cornelius: All right, let�s bust out of this joint. Julius: But who will we be looking for? Cornelius: Yeah, who will be the next big Christian star? Scene 3 � The Deli (Jeremiah walking up sidewalk by Jason�s Deli with paint can, �Staying Alive� playing in background (opening credits)� enters Jason�s Deli, gives people high fives) Jeremiah: Hey! Anybody want some paint?!? (walk over to Mitchell Rickelstein) Hello Mitchell Rickelstein (takes off shades) Mitchell: Hello, Jeremiah Cottonsworth, you know you�re not welcome here. Jeremiah: Oh, shut up Mitch� Jeremiah hears you have decided to challenge the master of religious pop music to a �battle of the bands.� Mitchell: Yeah, that�s right. And since you have as much talent as Mark Needs a Chick, I think I have a pretty good chance. Jeremiah: Hey, hey� come on now� Neither of us are that bad. Mitchell: Well, are you gonna eat something or what? Jeremiah: No, Jeremiah doesn�t think so. Jeremiah thinks Jeremiah�s going to go� Well, Mitchell old boy, Jeremiah will tell you one thing... if you mess with Jeremiah, you mess with Jesus, and if you mess with Jesus, well........... You have pretty much messed with THE UNIVERSE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! (gets up and walks a few steps) and now......... Jeremiah exits the building. Jeremiah bids you good day Mitchell Rickel... stupid.... uhhhh. Aaaahhhhhhhh forget it!!!! (Mitchell shakes head) Scene 4 � Jeremiah Meets Cornelius (Jeremiah pissed off after confrontation� runs into Cornelius, nearly knocks him over) Jeremiah: Oh, sorry man. Cornelius: That voice� you sound very familiar. What�s your name son? Jeremiah: Jeremiah Cottonsworth Cornelius: Say, you�re that Christian music prodigy everyone�s been talking about. Jeremiah: Yeah that�s me� Who are you? Cornelius: Oh, how rude of me� I�m Cornelius, I manage religious music singers like yourself. Jeremiah: Oh my Jesus! You�re the Cornelius, aren�t you? Cornelius: Wellll� yes, yes I am. Jeremiah: Well, Mr. Cornelius it has been an honor speaking to you, but Jeremiah better go. Cornelius: Hey kid, wait a second. Do you need a manager? Jeremiah: Are you serious? (Cornelius nods head) Yes, Jeremiah needs a manager. Cornelius: Well, I am looking for a bright young star to manage. Jeremiah: Oh my Jesus! This will be great! Cornelius: It sure will kid, I�m going to take you to the top! You�ll be bigger than Creed. Jeremiah: Wow, bigger than Creed! I love that band! Cornelius: Solid. (puts arm around Jeremiah to discuss business plans� Doesn�t say them very loud) Scene 5 � Mitchell Meets Julius (Mitchell finishes sandwich, starts walking out of restaurant) Mitchell: Bye Uncle David, thanks for the free pastrami sandwich. (walks outside) Oy, it�s hot out here, I shoulda stayed in North Brunswick. (Mitchell muttering hateful things towards Jeremiah) Julius: I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Mitchell: Who the hell are you? Julius: The name�s Julius, I manage religious rock stars. (hands Mitchell his card. Close up of it reveals the card only says Julius on it) Mitchell: Oh really, I�m a religious rock star. Julius: Oh wow, that sounds reasonable, time to up my medication. Mitchell: Hey! Be nice! Julius: I�ll try being nice when you try being smarter. Mitchell: Well, there is only one thing I can say� You are clearly validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Julius: Shut up kid, I know who you are, Mitchell Rickelstein. Mitchell: How in the hell do you know who I am? Julius: I�m smart like that� that�s not the point. Mitchell: Then what is the point? Julius: The point is, you need a manager, and I need some one to manage. Mitchell: Why would I need a manager? Julius: You�re speaking like a true ass hole. Mitchell: All right, you�ve got my attention. Julius: Okay, do you want to beat Jeremiah Cottonsworth in the battle of the bands? Mitchell: Of course I do. Julius: Well I�m your ticket to stardom brother. Mitchell: Solid. |