"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
At that point we were at the edge of a cliff, now, we've made a big step forward.
Errors have been made, others will be blamed.
"Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item."
I plead contemporary insanity.
"I will not allow this employee to breed."
The best proof of intelligent life in space is that they have never tried to contact us.
We come into this world screaming, naked, and covered in blood. If you live your life right, that sort of fun doesn't have to end there...
"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
Sir, If you were my husband, I would poison your drink.....Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out of your nose.
Beer: Nature's Laxative
Friends don't let friends drink light beer.
Beer: Put it back in the horse.
If you encounter a difficult task, give it to someone lazy. They'll find an easier way to do it.
How to stay young all your life: modest life, sleep, hard work....and lie about your age.
From the toilet wall:
Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to shit and stink
But I came here to scratch my balls
And read the nonsense on the walls!
Birdy birdy in the sky,
dropped a poopie in my eye,
I didn't weeped, I didn't cry,
I just thank God cows can't fly!
I support drug testing. I believe every public official should be given a shot of sodium pentothal and asked "Which laws have you broken this week?".
If Bush is the answer, then it must be a very stupid question.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped
