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Title: Dawn's Dumb Wish Author: Keswindhover Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, but I haven�t hurt any one (well, I made Spike bang his shins on a bucket, but that�s it). Pairings: Willow/Tara, Giles/Anya Spoilers: Everything up to the end of season 6. Distribution: Ask me first - but I�m going to say yes. Feedback: Yes, please: [email protected] . Props: Regina Welch, who very kindly beta�d this story and helped make it way, way better by pointing out the missing jokes, drawing my attention sternly to roving POVs, and laying down the law on active/passive verbs. Dumbsaint whose �Once More, All Naked, All Gay� is a) brilliant and b) got me thinking about nakedness and gayness. Drbutterfrogg, whose ridiculously addictive �Wacky Adventures of the Buffybot� were quite clearly on my mind. All the authors of the enormous amounts of Buffy fanfic - good and bad - that I have been consuming recently, in a sick compulsive fashion. *************************************** �You wrote it?!� said Buffy, Xander, and Giles all together. �Why did you write it in Latin?� cried Dawn indignantly. �It took me forever to translate.� She shuddered, �I had to go and look at academic websites, before I thought of Babelfish - urgh!� �And then you got it wrong,� said Tara softly. �Yeah, perhaps I�m being stupid,� said Buffy - she shot a hostile glance at Anya, �since I didn�t manage to finish college and all. But wouldn�t it have been better to write danger do not touch, there is a dangerous spell locked in here, so on no account make a wish on this baby, or something on those lines?� �That wouldn�t have fit on the pendant,� said Xander. �look, it�s only an inch across.� Spike clipped him smartly round the ear. �Ow, what was that for?� �For being so bloody stupid, and for stating the bloody obvious.� Spike looked round. �Oh come on; every one of you wanted to do the same thing!� Giles sighed; his headache was coming back again. He pressed his finger between his eyebrows and closed his eyes - and screamed as he felt a pair of hands close on his neck.... �Sorry,� said Anya, �I just thought you seemed a little tense, and a massage might help.� Giles pressed his hand to his chest for a moment. His heart was leaping around like a stranded fish. Everyone was frozen in place. Buffy had Mr Pointy half way out of her handbag, Xander was clutching the front of his t-shirt with a nervous hand, while Willow, Tara and Dawn gazed wide eyed. Spike meanwhile was smirking at him most unpleasantly. �Yes, well that was very ... thoughtful of you Anya. But perhaps a little warning another time, yes?� Anya glowed; there was going to be another time, she was making progress! Giles coughed self-consciously and turned back to Willow. �Well now, since you wrote the inscription perhaps you can explain what it means?� Willow looked around nervously, and picked at her already ragged cuticles - she just knew that this whole scene was going to wreak havoc with her therapy program. �The pendant is a focus stone that belonged to Amy�s mom. She was working up a spell when I guess she got distracted by the whole kill Buffy thing, and then she, you know, disappeared. So there was a kinda �work in progress� spell roiling around in there.� Willow paused briefly. �Amy told me about it.� She shifted uncomfortably, then rushed on, �We thought we might find a use for it, but we didn�t know exactly what it was for - although it had to be something pretty major - so,� she said virtuously, �I put it away somewhere safe, with the inscription on it as a warning...� �...And then,� said Xander, �you turned into crack-magic girl, and Tara confiscated it together with all your other magic stash...� �...and then dumb Dawn came along and made a wish on it, and the spell released.� said Anya, �only we don�t know exactly what it�s done.� �It brought back Tara, said Dawn sulkily, �just like I asked for.� �Well, that�s one thing it�s done, said Anya, �and of course everyone teleporting into the Magic Box, and all the nakedness, that�s just typical of the kind of thing that happens when dummies,� Anya looked pointedly at Dawn, �make magical wishes." �I am not dumb,� shouted Dawn. �Yes well.� Giles looked disapprovingly at Willow. �It�s a pity you didn�t think to take the pendant to Devon with us - no doubt the ladies there could have helped, while they were addressing your �problem� - still, you were rather preoccupied at the time.� Willow looked shifty. Tara sighed. Cute though she was, Willow did seem to have a lot of compulsive personality disorders. Tara wondered which of Willow�s �problems� it was they�d been addressing in Devon - the erotomania, the addictive behaviour or the delusions? She looked down and saw that Willow�s hand had sneaked back onto her thigh. It sounds like I�ve been having a lot of trouble with my girlfriend, she mused thoughtfully. I wonder if she�s worth it? �Well, I hate to think what the spell might have been for.� Giles went on. �Mrs Madison was a very foolish woman. I know she was unhappy, but why she thought the solution was body swapping with her teenage daughter, so she could wave a few poms poms in the air, I really can�t imagine.� �Cheerleading is about a lot more than waving pom poms in the air,� said Buffy stiffly, her hardly worn Sunnydale High cheerleader�s sweater hovering wistfully in her mind�s eye. �Still hankering after your glory days, eh love?� said Spike. �It all fell off a bit in senior year, didn�t it? And now you�re a college dropout too. Not turning into another Mrs. Madison I hope?� He put on a bad falsetto, �I wish I had been homecoming queen...� �And I wish you�d go to hell,� shouted Buffy. She stopped abruptly, �Oh, no.� Everyone looked in fascinated trepidation at Anya. �I didn�t mean it!� cried Buffy, �I wasn�t thinking!� �I certainly didn�t mean it!� cried Spike. �Please don�t make me a queen! Or send me to hell,� he added as an afterthought. �Too late now,� said Anya. She turned towards Spike and raised her hand... Chapter 7 trailer: We find out more about the effects of the spell. Anya has a nasty shock, and doesn�t take it well. This is the last chapter, so I tie things up, more or less. Chapter 7| HOME | WHAT'S NEW | ABOUT | FANFICTION | BLOG | LINKS | VERBIS | NOMINATIONS | |