The house was magnificent in any definition of beauty
Two large porch columns stood guard as solders on duty
I was in love from the first time that I saw her front lawn
And sold when I saw that the front door was hand drawn
Everything was so perfect from the floor to the roof
The only problem I found was the back door had a goof
I loved the house so much that I wanted to fix it right
So I got my tools and supplies and started that night
I pulled the old off easily then I focused on the new door
Counting the screws for each hinge, I found there were four
When I worked the first screw into the tight grooves
Her wood frame groaned and moaned as it moves
It was tearing the wood apart so I decided to use some lube
Coating the screws and tight grooves with KY from the tube
It made the screw go in easier and smoother than before
Slowly I worked it into her feeling the pressure as it bore
Sinking all the way inside until the screw head was flush
When I stroked the hinge I was glad there was no rush
There were seven more screws to make my skill perfected
As each screw was buried deep inside of her I connected
I felt excitement as each screw slid deeper into the hole
Our connection spoke to me as if the house had a soul
She knew that each pain and each cry was worth it all
When she would win the house of the year this fall
So she urged me on to screw her backdoor even faster
I loved her but left no doubt that I was the master
It helped to know that she loved me through the pain
But even as I screwed her backdoor, she went insane
When the door was installed and the blemish was gone
My house was complete by the early light of dawn
It all paid for itself during the contest that fall
My house and I won the award and both stood tall
