Crush All Humanz: ((after Jeffy storms out of the common room, after Soudwave’s comments of him being a pet)) *follow*
JeffyTehHuman: *slammed the door behind him, mumbling something incoherent*

Crush All Humanz: *pushes door back open, rrr-ing a little at that* WHAT'S WRONG NOW?
JeffyTehHuman: Sorry. Didn't mean to slam your door...in your face. And nothin' is particularly wrong.

Crush All Humanz: .....THEN WHAT IS IT?
JeffyTehHuman: *jumps*

Crush All Humanz: *blink*
JeffyTehHuman: Well I dunno, I keep causing arguments so I figured it'd be best to leave the room.

Crush All Humanz: .....*siiiigh* I START FIGHTS. YOU'RE JUST A CONVIENENT WAY TO DO SO. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
JeffyTehHuman: Nah, not personally. I just don't like seeing you all fight. At least, not over me. *puts Annabelle in her crib* How are you feeling today?

Crush All Humanz: ....DECENT. DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BITCH AT SOUNDWAVE OVER HIM THINKING YOUR HIS PET, I WON'T.
JeffyTehHuman: *blinks up at him* I wont tell you what to do or what not to do, Crusher. *blinks again* Only decent?

Crush All Humanz: YES, DECENT. *crosses his arms* I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME NOT TO PUSH THINGS WHEN I PUSH THEM WHERE YOU DON'T WANT THEM.... PUSHED. *oh, that sounded eloquent*
JeffyTehHuman: *tilts his head* Uh...push whatever you want?

Crush All Humanz: *sigh* FINE. BUT IT'S ALLOWED. YOU LISTEN TO ME, THEREFORE I LISTEN TO YOU.

Crush All Humanz: THAT'S HOW THESE...*reluctant handwave, exapserated*... "FRIENDSHIPS" WORK, RIGHT?
JeffyTehHuman: Right, we listen to each other but we don't order each other around either.

Crush All Humanz: ....FINE, DON'T ORDER ME. TELL ME WHEN I DO IT. THAT EASIER FOR YOU?
JeffyTehHuman: Uh...sure.

Crush All Humanz: ....GOOD.

Crush All Humanz: *aaaaawkward*
JeffyTehHuman: *grins up at him*

Crush All Humanz: *koff.* .....THEN, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE BOTHERING YOU?
JeffyTehHuman: Not really, not at the moment. *cheeses at him* So seriously, how are you?

Crush All Humanz: .......FINE. BETTER THAN LAST NIGHT.

Crush All Humanz: .....A LITTLE.... WEIRD TODAY, BUT IT'LL PASS.
JeffyTehHuman: Weird, huh...? *waits for explanation*

Crush All Humanz: ......

Crush All Humanz: *frowns* ....I DANCED. IN PUBLIC. ......WITH BLACKOUT.
JeffyTehHuman: Oh. Wow. Wish I'd seen it.

Crush All Humanz: .....*mock glare*

Crush All Humanz: IT'S NOT LIKE I GET TO DANCE THAT MUCH WITH YOU LIVING IN MY ROOM.

Crush All Humanz: I GUESS IT GOT PENT UP.
JeffyTehHuman: Well...I can leave. And you dance?

Crush All Humanz: ....NO, THAT'S ALRIGHT.

Crush All Humanz: I'LL JUST DEAL WITH IT.
JeffyTehHuman: *grin*

Crush All Humanz: ....HE LIKED DANCING, ANYWAYS. SO IT WASN'T SO BAD.
JeffyTehHuman: *grins* Cute..

Crush All Humanz: *a little less than mock glare* DON'T CALL ME CUTE.

Crush All Humanz: ....HE ALSO CAME IN THE ROOM AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME EVER. .... THAT WAS BAD. BUT HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, REALLY.

Crush All Humanz: *wondering if that's good or bad, now that he thinks of it*
JeffyTehHuman: What do you mean?

Crush All Humanz: ....BRAWL CALLED HIM A WHORE. LIKE USUAL. I DEFENDED HIM... AND MIGHT HAVE BEEN IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING FIREFLIGHT "I DON'T DO LOVE, LOVE IS FOR SISSIES" RIGHT AS HE WAS WALKING IN.

Crush All Humanz: *oh, yeah, that feels bad now that he thinks of it.*

Crush All Humanz: .....*shrug* IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
JeffyTehHuman: *frawn* Brawl called him a whore...?

Crush All Humanz: ....IT'S SOMETHING BRAWL DOES.
JeffyTehHuman: Not nice.

Crush All Humanz: YEAH, WELL, WE'RE 'CONS.
JeffyTehHuman: Well, I guess thats true...*pauses* And yo uwere talkign to Fireflight? Thought you too didn't like each other...

Crush All Humanz: ....I HATE HIM. AND I WAS YELLING AT HIM, AND THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I HATED HIM.

Crush All Humanz: AND WASN'T TALKING TO HIM.
JeffyTehHuman: *is so confused* Oh...

Crush All Humanz: .....*sighs* YEAH. I KNOW, STUPID. WHATEVER.
JeffyTehHuman: Not stupid...*grins* I like you.

Crush All Humanz: ......*embarrassed cough* THAT'S NICE. NOW, I'M GOING BACK TO WHERE THERE'S ENERGON... WHETHER OR NOT YOU FOLLOW IS YOUR BUSINESS.
JeffyTehHuman: Okay. *grins* In a bit.

Crush All Humanz: *nods* ALRIGHT. KEEP THAT BABY FROM SCREAMING. *skates out*
JeffyTehHuman: *laughing* I'll try.

 

 

 

 

DIRECTLY AFTER END OF COMM-LINK WITH BLACKOUT...

 

Crush All Humanz: *busts into the room, really fraggin pissed, engine roaring in his chest*
JeffyTehHuman: *jumps about a mile* Whoa man, what’s the matter?!

Crush All Humanz: FUCKING STUPID BLENDER I - FUCKING STUPID ME THIS IS ALL MY FAULT I JUST NEED TO LET THINGS GO AND I DON'T!!!!
JeffyTehHuman: *staring at him, jaw hanging open* What...what happened?

Crush All Humanz: I ALWAYS DO THIS! *rages, pacing on tense wheels restlessly* EVERY TIME I START THINKING OF BEFORE AND I ALWAYS FUCK UP!
JeffyTehHuman: *sitting in his pile of blankets, still staring, letting him vent*

Crush All Humanz: *can't find any better way to release his anger, so he punches the wall, leaving a massive dent* GET OVER IT YOU STUPID SLAGGER IT WAS LIKE THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY LET IT GO!! *punching the wall helps, so he starts really digging into it, beating it up as if his life depended on it* IT DIDN'T WORK ON CYBERTRON, IT DIDN'T WORK IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE, IT WON'T WORK HERE! THE MUSIC'S THE SAME AND THE FEELINGS ARE THE SAME AND YOU KNOW THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING, JUST HATE EVERYTHING, DON'T ENJOY ANYTHING STOP CARING LET IT GO.
JeffyTehHuman: ...*lets him vent, wincing as he watched Crusher punch the walls. He wasn't sure if he should say anything, sometimes anger needed to work itself out on its own.*

Crush All Humanz: *wailing into the wall, punching and punching and punching, forgetting that he's in his room, that he's in an autobot base, that he's pissed at nothing and everything, focusing everything into that wall that's so fucking stupid, just let it go already - paint chipping off claws by now, fists tightening and tightening and punching*
JeffyTehHuman: Crusher...

Crush All Humanz: YOU MORON! EVERYTHING'S THE SAME, YOU HATE REMEMBER JUST HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
JeffyTehHuman: *winces at the yelling* Crusher...

Crush All Humanz: I WOULD RATHER DIE IS WHAT HE SAID, AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT AND THAT'S WHAT YOU LIVE WITH NOW SO DEAL WITH IT
JeffyTehHuman: *mouth openign and closing like a fish*

Crush All Humanz: *crack and several of the gears in one finger pop, the - decidedly mild - pain pulling him back from the wall just for a moment. he punches it a few more time, each one less passionate than the previous, until he's just leaning against the wall, engine growling and optics flickering. he's practically worn himself out on that damned wall.*
JeffyTehHuman: Crusher...*voice is decidedly small, almost afraid to speak*

Crush All Humanz: *winces at that - even quiet voices pick up like cannon fire under his hyper-active audios - and half turns his face to eye the human on the ground* ........

Crush All Humanz: sorry.
JeffyTehHuman: It's okay. *stare sup at him* Are...are you...okay? *concern is clearly evident*

Crush All Humanz: ...........fuck.
JeffyTehHuman: *...blinks*

Crush All Humanz: ......i keep getting so invested in things. keep giving a slag when all i should be doing is hating and if he hadn't just gotten under my ARMOR! *punches the wall again, wincing at the cracking of his knuckles, and then slumps against the wall, sliding down into a sitting position*

Crush All Humanz: all i wanted was to be left alone. and i was left alone, and it was fine, and then the slagger had to start trading insults and quips with me again and all he had to do was make that one noise and i was done.
JeffyTehHuman: *slowly stands up, staring at the large mech that was now slumped against the wall. He was kind of afraid to go over there, but settled for standing there, simply listening to him vent*

Crush All Humanz: because he's just so much like him and i just.... and now he says "i won't" just like he said "i'd rather die" and there's a reason you don't let people under your armor crusher, there's a stupid slagging reason. or did you forget already? want another dose of "so close so close goodbye"? i'm sure blackout can fulfill that fine.
JeffyTehHuman: *he doesn't understand what Crusher is talking about* I...um... *continues to listen*

Crush All Humanz: all i was going to do was stay in my room. have a few drinks with brawl, retreat to my room for a week, and be fine and ready to hate again. instead nooo, blackout had to get drunk, had to be just like him and had to make those noises, primus i can never just say no when they sound like that, and then he had the ballbearings to freak out and scare me to death because i didn't mean for it to happen but it's been so long and he's so familiar and this is why i didn't want to go on that slaggin' rescue mission, that's why i didn't want to fly through space for vorns with that slagger, it's amazing nothing happened before....
JeffyTehHuman: *trying to work out in his mind just what the hell he is talking about, and is starting to get a general idea of the story, but he figured now wasnt the time to pry. The mech needed someone to listen, and Jeff would be there to listen*

Crush All Humanz: i just wanted to be left alone. they get under your armor and then you're not alone, and no one's ever alone and you hate that don't you, but it's okay. don't worry, don't worry. *isn't even talking to himself anymore, optics dimmed and gazing somewhere towards the ceiling* it's fine, it's fine. just don't care. just stay down and stay still and don't say anything, and this time maybe it'll work and if it doesn't, well, you tried both ways and that just means you really are destined to hate everything alone in a room with some energon and people who can't stand that you can't stand them around.

Crush All Humanz: *optics flicker, and he starts coming back to himself, dazed and worn out*
JeffyTehHuman: *mumbles* I like you...

Crush All Humanz: *sighs, hearing Jeff, and tilts his head to look at the human* ....sorry about that. didn't mean to... get like that.
JeffyTehHuman: *shrugs, moving over to where he sat* It's okay. Are you...okay?

Crush All Humanz: .....maybe. it's.... ugh. he just - blackout just reminds me a lot of someone i knew. and i let that get in my processors and it won't go away now.

Crush All Humanz: .....it doesn't help that there's a faulty program in my head trying to coo me into stasis.
JeffyTehHuman: Oh... *nods a little bit, coming to a stop in front of him* Someone you knew?

Crush All Humanz: .....someone i knew, yeah. some stupid decepticon slagger who got under my armor and probably would be here too if he hadn't gone and died because of me.
JeffyTehHuman: ....*fumbles for words*

Crush All Humanz: *looks at Jeff idly, not really focusing so much on him as the idea of him* what would you say to someone who said "i'd rather die" after you ask them to stay with you forever?
JeffyTehHuman: *stares at him, his mouth hanging open* I...I don't....know...

Crush All Humanz: .....and what do you do when you end up running into someone who is just like him, but different just enough so that if you avoid him you never notice?
JeffyTehHuman: *still fumbling for words, staring up at the big mech in front of him* Um...um... *doesn't have any answers*

Crush All Humanz: yeah. *tries to laugh, but his vocalizer just can't process the idea at the moment* now you get why i'm so slagged.
JeffyTehHuman: I...think so.... *trying not to pry into his past, he is content to listen to him talk, but takes note of his hand and frowns, then points* Are you okay?

Crush All Humanz: .................*tries to break the horrible feeling in his chest by playing actual audio* "Merely a flesh wound!"

Crush All Humanz: *.....doesn't work.*

Crush All Humanz: it'll pass.

Crush All Humanz: i think.
JeffyTehHuman: Maybe you should get Arcee to look at it...*staring at it, then up to Crusher's face again. He had never seen such a personal side to him before, and lately the big 'Con had been opening up more and more to him. He gave Crusher's leg an awkward pet, trying to let him know that he was there for him, even if he didn't have the right words to say*

Crush All Humanz: ...........i'll message hook later or something. *reaches out with his good hand - well, his less brutally beaten hand - and lightly pokes Jeff in the chest* surprised you didn't run for the hills when i started talking to myself like that.
JeffyTehHuman: *he gave Crusher a crooked little grin as he was poked* Why would I run off? You're my friend.

Crush All Humanz: ....because if i had noticed you, i could have.... would have killed you.
JeffyTehHuman: Are you certain? *blinks at him*

Crush All Humanz: ....i don't know. it's a possibility.
JeffyTehHuman: Hmmm....*folds his arms then leans against Crusher's leg*

Crush All Humanz: *sighs* ....i just figured i had gotten over this slagging business. i just... ugh. i never wanted to go looking for megatron, with his loyal hound so close by. saw him around on missions and noticed just... how much he reminded me of the last 'con i tried to keep.
JeffyTehHuman: *chewing on his lip* Because of the...loyalty?

Crush All Humanz: not.... no. because of how he talks. and insults, and formulates responses, and, slag if i knew until just this week, how he dances. so much a like but he's meaner, and bigger, and... not better, but... feels better. less likely to tear me up inside. *shakes his head a little* maybe not so much that last one, obviously.
JeffyTehHuman: *wrinkles his nose up a bit* Hmm. I think I can see that.

Crush All Humanz: .....but when i asked........ no. i used to not really care about bonding. and then i met this one 'con, and after years of working together, interfacing, yelling, fighting, trading music - well, cybertronian music, it's not really like earth music, but close - and just being there, i told him i wouldn't mind being bonded to him. told him i wanted to. and.... he said "I'd rather die" with a scowl on his face, walked away, and died.

Crush All Humanz: just like that. dead and gone and really he did die rather than stay with me.
JeffyTehHuman: *......just blinks* ...he just...keeled over?

Crush All Humanz: ....nah. no, he was one of five 'cons offered a mission and he was the only one to accept, because everyone knew it was suicide and he knew that i wanted to always be around. so he went and got himself blown up.
JeffyTehHuman: I'm...I'm sure it wasn't really like that...*blinks* Maybe...maybe he thought that if he stayed, he'd end up watching you die and he would rather die than see you hurt...?

Crush All Humanz: no. when he said "i'd rather die".... it was "i'd rather die than spend any time with you." the whole sentence, i think, was, "i'd rather die than stay tied down to you like this." and then he walked off, got a mission, and.... boom.

Crush All Humanz: and then the damned blender comes out of no where with starscream and the rest, lookin' for megatron, and i go along because starscream said i would get first shot at megatron, and i slaggin' hate megatron. so it worked out except that stupid slagging blackout made just the right comment to me when i ran into him in the halls and.... that didn't feel good. nothing feels good.
JeffyTehHuman: Ah...well...*gropes for words, then tilts his head* What comment?

Crush All Humanz: ....i don't even remember anymore. *doesn't want to deal with that, not right now.* ....either way, today i was sharing music with him and he was okay with it and he danced with me, but then i said something, or i didn't say something, or something happened and he paced off, and i told him what you said last night and... yeah. he was gone before i got it out to him, i don't know what happened. probably laughed.

Crush All Humanz: slag, that's what i'd've done.

Crush All Humanz: "look at bonecrusher, great sensitive poet who wants to bond without being bonded because he slagging can't let go of things." primus, i'm shit.
JeffyTehHuman: *face grows mildly angry and he thumps Crusher's leg* You are not shit.

Crush All Humanz: yeah, well, tell that to my internal processors.
JeffyTehHuman: *pokes his leg, accentuating his words* You. Aren't. Shit. *mild glare* You've managed to keep me alive this long. Without you, I think I'd be squished by now.

Crush All Humanz: it's not hard. you keep yourself out of trouble.
JeffyTehHuman: Either way. I like you. That's all that counts, right? *gives him a cheesy little grin*

Crush All Humanz: ....
JeffyTehHuman: *smiles innocently up at him*

Crush All Humanz: alright, you've made your point, slagger.
JeffyTehHuman: *beams*

Crush All Humanz: *shifts slightly* ....now move, so i can get up. i need... to move around. go outside. kill things.
JeffyTehHuman: *nods and moves, heading back to his little pile of blankets*

Crush All Humanz: *stands up, trying and failing to clench his fingers, and moves to the door* .....jeff, really. next time... go get somebody.

Crush All Humanz: i'd rather deal with my angst in front of optimus prime than hurt you on accident.
JeffyTehHuman: You kind of shocked me. *admits* Sorry. Besides, yo ualways told me to get *you*.

Crush All Humanz: .....true. well, next time that happens, find somebody else. at the very least they'll lay me out before i do anything stupid.
JeffyTehHuman: You sure...I mean, I don't want to drag someone else in if you wouldn't like that...*is very concerned for his feelings*

Crush All Humanz: ....i'd rather have somebody my size who won't squish under my feet keeping me focused, instead of a wall.
JeffyTehHuman: Okay...only if you insist though...

Crush All Humanz: i do. *bends down and carefully tossles Jeff's hair* you're the one i talk to - they're the one i beat the slag out of.
JeffyTehHuman: *grins sleepily up at him* Thanks...

Crush All Humanz: *nods and gets out of the room, optics flickering and him needing recharge - but he can't sleep andhe won't sleep, not with all this going through his processors.* night, jeff.
JeffyTehHuman: *calls after him before fallign asleep* Night 'Crusher...

Crush All Humanz: *closes the door, and skates with the intent to find a hidden wall to beat up, instead of one in his own room.*