JazzBabySays (4:50:51 PM):

JazzBabySays (4:50:51 PM):	-has been meandering the halls for most of the night and slept even less, which is to say not at all, unable to just shut off his brain and rest on the situation. his travels have taken him all over the base or pretty close to it, and now they have brought him to the other's door. looking up and spotting it slightly ajar he takes it as a sign, his fist giving it as loud a knock as can be made as he leans partially inside- Bonecrusher, are you in?
crush all humanz (4:53:56 PM):	........ is currently half-lying on his berth, a cube in hand - and several empty ones piled up beside him .....YEAH. 'M IN. he wonders if he should use his holo, but right now his energon is more enticing
JazzBabySays (4:59:45 PM):	...is this...a bad time? I can return at a later date if you wish...-has taken notice of all the cubes, beginning to doubt his decision in bringing anything up at this current time, however, it does not change the fact he feels that he has some important things to say. now it is just a matter of timing-
crush all humanz (5:01:21 PM):	.....NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY. downs the rest of his cube and tosses it in the tiny pile he's made so far, sitting up and materializing his holo in front of the berth - a decent pace away, but not completely stand-offish What do you want? dully
JazzBabySays (5:06:05 PM):	-he enters, at the very least approaching the holo since it sure beats having to look up at him, and considering his list of things to say...well, his neck could do without the added strain- I want...to talk. What you said got me thinking and...well, Starscream informed me that he should be able to do the transfer hopefully come tomorrow, so just in case -
JazzBabySays (5:06:09 PM):	Everything you said about me was right, every last thing. I have been unappreciative and greedy and you have every single right to be angry with me. Right now I stand before you ashamed and disgraced. No excuse I could possibly fathom gives me reason to have treated you the way I have, especially after you have stuck by me and defended me and - and...there was a point to all of this. -reaches into his many pockets, searching for something- I know I wrote it all down somewhere...
crush all humanz (5:10:35 PM):	.....Don't do this. his holo looks only a quarter as miserable and guilty he feels, and he grabs at the other's wrist, lightly - afraid to do something stupid, like break it, or pull his arm out or - Don't.... Don't demean yerself like this.
JazzBabySays (5:16:39 PM):	No, please, I insist...I want...need to say this. -stepping closer he moves his hands lower so that he can grab Bonecrusher's earnestly- Know that you deserve more than I can ever give, because right now all I can really seem to do is apologize and - basically beg for your forgiveness, though I am most undeserving of it. I - promise to change, even should you choose not to accept my words.
crush all humanz (5:23:31 PM):	........I.... the holo flickers for a moment as he makes a small, distinctly upset noise, before coming back and pulling his hand away, crossing his arms - well, not so much crossing as actually hugging himself - and he laughs, sounding definitely* upset and a little hysterical* Primus, y'had - yer doin' this now.... Y'don't even know an' yer.... oh Primus.... There's nothin' to forgive you for. I shouldn't - you've been through tons of stress an' I shouldn't have expected you t'just jump back from it an'.... Primus, I don't even know.
JazzBabySays (5:30:37 PM):	...-eyes flickering between the other's holo and mech form he visibly falters, sure he's not following anymore and growing concerned at Bonecrusher's behavior. unconsciously he reaches out to him again, halting only a breath away in uncertainty- ...what is it, Bonecrusher? I...it defeats the purpose of groveling if you feel horrible over it. Did...did I say something wrong? I mean, I know I am terrible at this sort of thing, but I was not aware I was that bad.
crush all humanz (5:34:07 PM):	No no no no no. the holo reaches out suddenly, taking his hand and holding it tight Not you, not you, I - ....'s a long story, It doesn't matter, really. Don't think fer a second it's you. 'm a bit drunk, is all. 'm sorry.
JazzBabySays (5:38:20 PM):	-brows furrowing and lips turning down in a frown he grips his hands back just as tightly, eyes looking on with concern still- ...but are you not...-he worries his lip as he tries to find the right words, finally settling on- More...stable when drunk? Certainly less violent...really, what is wrong?
crush all humanz (5:41:41 PM):	More stable, less coherent, prone t'doin' stupid things - please. Nothin's wrong. 'm sorry I kept pushin' you an' guilt trippin' you an' forcin' you to do things y'didn't wanna do. I'm sorry. more earnest than he's been in a long while
JazzBabySays (5:48:51 PM):	Shh, shh...slow down. I am the human with the muddled brain here, remember? -runs his thumbs along the holo's hands, trying to soothe him- You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, alright? I am the the one who has been callous and uncaring and...that does not matter anymore, because like you said, if I mean what I say I should act on it. So no more. I want to be there for you...it might take some time to adjust, but...for you I will try.
crush all humanz (5:55:46 PM):	I.... he should just forget about it, ignore it, it's water under the bridge, don't say a slagging thing you moron- I just.... I love you. I really do. still looks upset, but less so, pulling the other close and kissing him hard
JazzBabySays (6:05:15 PM):	-being guided he leans into the kiss, eyes slipping closed and tongue sliding out as he proclaims his heart and soul to the other, wanting it to mean everything, pouring all his emotions into those three spoken words. yet...this moment does not distract him completely, the lingering doubt in his mind taking precedence- I love you, so much it hurts... -lips brushing the holo's his eyes flutter open, looking him straight in the eyes- Why...does this not make you look happy?
crush all humanz (6:10:32 PM):	.......I.... 'm just drunk. 'm sorry - I just..... I did somethin' stupid. I did somethin' stupid 'cos I was pissed an' drunk an' I'm sorry.
JazzBabySays (6:10:37 PM):	.................
JazzBabySays (6:15:30 PM):	-breath in. breathe out. breath in. breath out. breath in. breath out.- Alright...-he speaks slowly, concentrating on saying each syllable, as if that alone can dissipate his already increasing blood pressure- And that would be what, exactly?
crush all humanz (6:18:01 PM):	such a nice moment he had to ruin by saying anything was wrong at all - he should have just stuck to the "i'm drunk" excuse- I got drunk an' I.... quietly kissed Tracks.
JazzBabySays (6:23:56 PM):	-the words don't sink in at first, his expression slowly falling as he begins to make sense of them. pulling away to look at the holo better he lets out a small, nervous laugh- That's funny...I must be more tired than I initially assumed, because for a moment there I thought you said you kissed. Tracks. But that's just silly, isn't it? You both nearly tore the other apart - well, you more than him - and he is far to narcissistic to be involved with anyone besides himself and a mirror, right? -his voice hitches slightly, his hands tightening on the other- Right?
crush all humanz (6:28:49 PM):	I - .....It just - I didn't mean fer it t'happen, it just kinda did, an' it was all of a second, an' it wasn't anythin' more than me bein' stupid an' him bein' stupid an' i was drunk an' pissed an' it was either beat him up or that an' I don't want to ruin th' peace we've got an' I just don't know what I'm doing! his holo pulls away quickly, looking caught between bolting, breaking down, or beating something up
JazzBabySays (3:21:24 PM):		Bonecrusher, when are you not drunk? -finds this to be a very valid question- And I will sure say you fucked up. You fucked up royally. You...-steps back completely, waving his arms in a sign of agitation- What was the entire point of that spiel last night if you were not even going to give me a chance before...just... -sighs shakily, thumb and pointer finger gripping the bridge of his nose in another visible sign of frustration, mumbling darkly to himself- Heh...here I have been calling you the idiot, when obviously I have been the fool all along.
crush all humanz (3:28:35 PM):		....'s not like I expected it! It just - happened. his holo steps back to give the other more room, since that's what you do, right? I don't think, I don't think an' things go wrong an' I just... I fucked up. I got that. 's why I left right after it happened.
JazzBabySays (3:35:02 PM):		Everything just happens with you. It always just happens. Is that the best excuse you can possibly come up with? -scoffs, his head shaking so fiercely his dreadlocks sway then bristle, much like his rotor blades used to- If that is true, then tell me...did you enjoy it?
crush all humanz (3:37:45 PM):		his holo goes completely blank-faced for a second, before returning to the worried, upset look I..... Of course it jus' happens! I don't want any of this drama!
JazzBabySays (3:39:51 PM):		......-his arms fall to his sides, though not in some numb way. oh no, his shoulders straighten and his back tenses, eyes completely leaving the holo's to regard Bonecrusher's mech form directly- You purposely avoided that question.
crush all humanz (3:43:18 PM):		his holo doesn't move, but he keeps talking through it, trying to focus all of his concentration on it to avoid Blackout's gaze I didn't enjoy it! I don't even like th' slagger an' y'think I'd enjoy some stupid, second long kiss when we were drunk?
JazzBabySays (3:49:31 PM):		If you do not like him as you claim you do, then how come you were in his company? -eyes narrow, not giving Bonecrusher a break as he continues to glare- If you were upset there are those you have a closer affiliation with than him that you could have spent your time with. Why not Arcee? After all you two have done so much together, like had her touch your spark. Or what of Alpha Trion? I have heard dirty dancing is quite the personal experience to be shared with close companions.
crush all humanz (3:52:03 PM):		It's just 'cos I ran into him in th' halls! He offered me a drink an' I wanted one but th' common room was full an' I wasn't in th' mood t'deal with them so I agreed, an' - glares Don't you bring stupid, meaningless slag like Arcee an' Trion into this! Y'know as well as I do that none of that meant anythin' t'me - I slaggin' told you it didn't mean anythin'!
JazzBabySays (3:58:22 PM):		It means something to me, Bonecrusher! You do not see me traversing around offering myself up to anyone else. If I was enough for you there would be no need to incur such reckless and stupid acts! You called me out saying I do not act like what we have matters, well, you are no better in some respects, hypocrite.
crush all humanz (4:04:33 PM):		's not like 'm tryin' t'do this, Blackout! There my friends. You are on a level far higher than them! Nothin' I do with them should hurt you - I don't want to hurt you! frustratedly shifts on his berth, shaking his head in both forms An' y'know what? growls, dangerously low I did act like it. 's all I did for you. An' you just kept pushin' me away, an' you call me a hypocrite when y'sure as slag didn't act like you cared!
JazzBabySays (4:15:32 PM):		You don't...even get it, do you?! Everything has to be written in small words with large text for you to notice, is that it? If you were not so wrapped around what was just presented in front of you and actually paid attention you would know without a doubt that I care! I do not use 'love' lightly by any means and my spark has only opened up for you and one other in my existence... Even willing displays of affection like just holding your hand or...what could be greater than all of that? If you want some sappy, clingy, dumbstruck imbecile than perhaps you should go running off with some Autobot, because you will certainly not find that with me.
crush all humanz (4:19:28 PM):		Oh, I'm sorry! makes that laugh again - the ragged, slightly hysterical one from the previous night I wasn't aware that ignorin' me was yer way of sayin' I love you! If that's how you treat yer lovers then maybe I really didn't know what I was gettin' into!
JazzBabySays (4:28:39 PM):		And doing intimate gestures with those you don't claim as your lover is?! Excuse me if I was not aware of that little fact! Or what about telling everyone and their creator about every little happening between us? Must have missed that memo as well, hope you can forgive me on that one. Oh, and let's not forget about lying. Shame on me again! -sneers- I really must be old at this not to remember those details.
crush all humanz (4:31:48 PM):		They aren't intimate - they never mean anything! Th' act ain't the special bit! An' are you kiddin' me, I never tell them what's happenin' - they just fraggin' find out! An' I don't lie t'you. If I wanted t'lie, I woulda just not told you about Tracks!
JazzBabySays (4:42:11 PM):		-gripping his head in one hand his fingers curl into his hair, his dissatisfaction from earlier even more evident now, and his expression clouding- Then what was that earlier, concerning my question about you and Tracks? Avoiding it is just as black as any lie, not to mention I could see that it was more than just some drunken undertaking to you. Obviously you think little of me if you did not suspect I would notice, especially with how many passionate nights we have spent together. So how many more of these 'just happenings' should I expect? Any other prospectors I should be aware of? The list appears to keep growing as time carries on.
crush all humanz (4:48:26 PM):		........his holo goes blank again, arms crossed So... What. Y'think, just because..... a growl escapes his mech form If you think 'm not gonna always be loyal t'only you.... If you think that th' slag I've done actually matters t'me - then leave. snarls suddenly, holo's face twisting in anger But don't expect t'be able t'just come back.
JazzBabySays (4:56:29 PM):		...who said I would want to? -hisses softly. snapping his gaze away from either of the other's forms he turns tightly on his heel, heading out the way he had come-
crush all humanz (4:58:21 PM):		the holo pops and Bonecrusher makes a furious noise, finishing the rest of his cube and going for another - utterly ignoring the other as he leaves. Fuck. This. Shit.