| 4-21-02 o.k. so let's see where the hell am i? um i went to lisa's 2 weeks ago and we saw the aquabats and that was waayy effin awesome! i'm so glad i've finally seen them, and even though the bat commander was sick so it was definetly not their best show, i loved it. hanging with lisa was cool, i missed hanging with people, even though i saw my moo-town firends like 2 weeks beofre that. i need to be with people i know with much greater frequency, twice a month isn't enough out-of-home contact for me, i need more like twice a week, or once a day. i mean i love my mom and brother and sister, and my dad's been less of an ass lately, but i need my friends, i need my peers to keep my from delving into the emo abys that my life has become, i need some communication with people i can have actuall conversations with where ican totally be myself, or at least my other self who's way more fun than my present annalyitical self.... enough of that, save ferris on wednsday and it's mostly possible becuase my dad is going to boston for the week (yay!) and my mom'll be cool (i think). i really want a cell phone lately sos i can call my friends whenever i want and get phone calls at all hours of the night and not have to feel guilty for spending my parant's money on the phone bill. i found a good record store in carlsbad finally, and dumbass me, didn't even know it was right next to the train station, which i've been to many a time since moving here cause it's like the main bus-stop i use other than the mall. i've been thinking today about why i even bother to write out what i do on this page and have come to the conclusion that i don't do it to let people know what is going on in my life, i actually don't care if people know what is going on in my life and the word "news" is actually a lie because this is really just a reflection, or log of my past week, or 2 weeks, or month, or what have you, just for my own mental cleansing. it's cathardic in a dull and meaningless way. it gives me peace to write out at least some of my thoughts, and lets me breath deeply once again when it is finished. it is nice to hear that one or two people in my life actually do read this, but if they never did, it wouldn't matter because it's a me page for me to let out some of the clutter in my mind. |