Pain

I noticed that the other day, you were proud of me.
I never knew that you wanted to hear what I had to say.
But you never noticed that I went the wrong way.
For it was the dark that kept me shut out,
Not the people, my friends, only you when you scream and shout.

I always wondered why the pain lasts longer when I was awake.
Now I know that it's more alive when I'm asleep.
I don't have you to make me cry.
I only have friends to help me try.

When you tell me what you "think",
I can't say anything back, in fear that you'll yell.
I clinch my teeth and walk down the well
of sympathy for myself, only because you thought it so.

I've always wondered why you think the things you do.
Now I know that it's because of his influence on you.
I don't want you to make me cry,
I only want someone to help me try.

And you wonder why I lock myself away in my room at night.
I'm helping myself, trying hard not to fight.
The funny thing is,
You don't know how hard it is.