| One evening, Matthias decided to hook up with a special girl who picked him up at the Chili. The gimmick was this: hike into the forest by highway #406 and camp down by twelve mile river, and of course, get slopped. Along for the ride were $id, Callum, and a couple of potato heads with calluses on their brains. So as it was, already slopped, the boys hiked down some fucked up path into a forest with Matthias� calloused brained special girl and friends. As per usual, Matthias always has to take things to far and drinking is definitely not an exception. He wanted to prove to this girl that when it came to drinking, Matthias was �not too stuck.� So after the dozen or so beers he had drunk, mixed in his already fucked belly, the beer foam demon crept up on him. It wasn�t far to the wood where in the dew soaked forest he sought refuge to �drain the vein�. Our young and brave comrade Callum was slopped himself and decided to take a piss. Into the forest he went, only to hear what sounded to be a foghorn blowing at 3 oclock. Callum decided to investigate this unorthodox sound and came upon the culprit: it was Matthias. Callum found Matthias hanging and dangling from and between two branches puking his guts out. Callum of course laughed at Matthias and told him to stop being a puke bitch. Matthias told Callum to beat it because he wanted to puke and be miserable in solitude. Callum obliged and began to walk away and heard a loud splash. He ran back to see that Matthias had fallen from the branches, rolled down an embankment and was lying face down in the river. Callum, well aware that Matthias had never learned to swim among other things (ride a bike, tie shoes, drive a car) quickly ran down and pulled Matthias� wet, muddy, vomit stained corpse from the canal. Matthias thanked Callum for saving his life, and proceeded to go back to the campfire. He finally made it back to the campfire and he was covered in mud, vomit, and water, but didn�t think his special girl would notice. Then $id rolled around on the ground giggling like a little school girl, not only in his sloppiness but also because Koster is just so god dammed sorry. But anyway the broad took pity on the sloppy, soaked and stinkin� Matthias and took him back to her house. It turns out she wasn�t too stuck to have vomit-breath Matthias kiss on her and munch her box, but she wouldn�t let him pound her making her a �prissy bitch� according to Matthias. As luck would have it she didn�t want anything to do with him after. Stuck up, if you ask any of the deviants. |