Stings and Seething in the Cin City
It was mid-December back in ’03 when three Deviants paved a personal pathway of moral and near-criminal destruction down I-71. Earl, $id and RC all liked to party while Matthias sold, Calmin pretended he was going to study, Dolbs had to be a work bitch and D-min did a straight sell claiming, selfishly “There is nothing for ME in Cincinnati” but he wouldn’t have gone to Memphis either where there is definitely some ME.
Anyways Earl gets on the ball and drives out of his way to pick up $id who has got his life back together again and can avoid depression by leaving St. Catherines at least once a year, always at Earl’s instigation. The Party Posse then picked up RC in Windsor who shook uncontrollably when he saw people that he didn’t hate all the time. RC was a typical handful wanting to do fucked up shit all the time ie) piss in Gatorade bottles then throw them out the car window instead of using a toilet like a human being. Earl doesn’t even let him drink in the vehicle, as he is smart enough to know how RC does. “We even saw a homeless person in Detroit! best thing ever! near a gas station! beside a highway on-ramp!!
Party!
Party!
Party!”
The boys roll descended on a Great Northern American City that housed NFL because we wanted to party hard. Rock City is a hole. Windy City is a roll. The Queen City was our goal. WhOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOo. Rolled into Cincinnati at about 8 at night hit the downtown which was shit. Then had dinner at the second oldest bar in Cincinnati (can’t remember the name). We ask the dude at the bar what to expect for tickets on the street. He said don’t pay too much over face value near game time. Then we go to the party zone. Cincinnati has several universities but the bar scene is disappointing. We go to a bar so $id can shit. Then we go to a bar called Red Cheetah which $id claims to be the best bar ever. Big talk but it was by no means a bad time. RC does his typical roll up to drunken chicks and have their boyfriends be mad at him. This broads boyfriend was so drunk he could barely stand and when he danced his moves consisted of flexing his muscles and rolling up his sleeves. He was fat and dumb too. $id was slopped and rolled up to muscley arm and started to mock him. Muscley arm rubbed $ids bald head saying that he knew what its all about. $id looking at Muscely arm was like a mirror. Muscley arm was a white supremacist who gave the Heil Hitler sign and $id got nervous. Telling him we are Deviant but not all about that. Then the drunk Americans left the bar and fucked up shit happened. Then we go outside and it is snowing but not cold and RC gets his destruction on. Kicking in Left Wing Rag and Right Wing Rag boxes because he is a moderate. $id had to take a shit so we have to get a hotel which amounts to $100 cover to shit. But RC is stubborn and insisted he sleep in the car in a snowstorm. So Earl leaves him for dead but $id is worried but has to shit. $id and Earl are just about to go into a hotel when RC comes running across the street. Hotel is deserted and We check-in but not without incident. RC is so slopped all he can do is lean his head against a hand rail and giggle. Clerks asks Earl who had pulled himself together composed if RC needs to go outside for a while. $id sits in the background using vulgar language. We get in and crash large. But while we are crashed out Saddam Hussein is captured in a hole in Iraq unless it is a conspiracy.
Next day we get up and wander the streets looking for liquor. But no liquor sales in Ohio on Sunday and we want to go to football game. We roll up at about game time to a dude selling seats. We tell him we want to pay face value and he yells at us that that is face value for $60. But we want to sit in $30. $60 too much of a roll. So he said give them $50 each. No. $30. Then he says 3 for $100. Dun and dun. Ask to look at ticket and they look to be ok. Right day, right seats and all.
Then we go back to the 2nd oldest bar in Cin and ask the dude to sell us a bottle of rum over the counter. The nervous fuck had to go in the back to touch up his blistex and ask for confirmation and they sell us a 40 of rum for $20. Deal. Everything is a deal party zone. We go to the stadium and we are successful in smuggling the contraband inside. But not so successful in getting admission with counterfeit tickets. We got hosed by a street hustler. Ticket lady starts hollering for security and the Deviants consider making a run for it. But don’t. They take us to the interview room in the Bengals front office where $id and Earl sit down and give their name to policeman and after a while realize they are not in any trouble. But RC, meanwhile, is fidgeting like a worm on a hook because of the 40 of rum down his pants. His mouth sores break open and he goes to his blistex which he drops on the ground. $id tells RC to pick it up but then remembered the prize in his pants that he wanted to get his lips on. The cop then told RC to get it and he bent over sideways and kneeled over to get it. The police eventually let us go and we got to see a wicket game. Bengals 41 49ers 38.
RC and $id drank the 40 of rum and turned into ‘those guys’. $id wanted to slide down a tarp covering the players entrance and didn’t think he would go to jail but he was still a pussy. RC couldn’t stop talking and carried on about pulling out his own teeth and charging soldiers who break their cereal bowl -- ruined Earl’s afternoon. RC wants to drink at 2nd oldest bar in Cin again so we hit it up and RC talked a lot and had to be forcibly removed by $id.
Had trouble at the border after smoking all our smokeables, drinking all our drinkables and firearming all our firearmables and exploding all our explodables. That night we partied in the Wdot with the RC’s roommate he said was fat. She wasn’t a bad time but was too stuck to make out with $id even after he barfed while he was walking and spitting. We got slopped until 5am and RC had to work at 7am and his roommates hate him because he didn’t answer the phone when people called to see what was wrong with him.
And $id owes Earl $180.
Party guys
Rodger dances like a chimp on a table
Rodger and a random broad
Rodger stretches while $id boogies
$id and Rodger faggin' in the snowstorm
Rodger, Random Bengals Game Broad, $id