*****DISCLAIMER*****
Deviant membership holders Sid and Mattias, and part time deviant Brent (when Katrina opens the cage to change the newspapers and he flocks out) left Kazs, (loaded), the 3 fucking drunken stooges, were stumbling home, when we came upon the graces of good gods parking lot. Brother Brent just like one of earls girls on the coast miraculously being able to walk under her own power. So feeling a touch from the almighty, brent started doing flips and cartwheels down the steps of the church parking lot. homeless theresa took offense, voicing her displeasure at brother brents blasphemy, Brent unimpressed with her claim was taken aback and now started to voice his displeasure. during this time p diddy, or fuckstick rolled up as unwelcome as the ol bitch.
Sideways hat, came down the street, steppin and chest pumping to the old lady like earl to little boys, the old lady told him to step up P Diddy was a bad boy for life, as his face spittin proved. she swung at him, and he dodged and spat in her face. during the transpiring, what surprised us was that when she didnt open her mouth to take in a long awaited meal, she took it off the eye like any good girl should. At this point, Brent rolled in trying to step in like dolbs girl towards a fridge, and the homeless broad grabbed him and took him to the ground.
Brent tried to pull P Diddy off the bitch, she told him to "roll up", and she proceeded to rip the fuckin chain off of Brent, the chain having much sentimental value to Brent decided to indeed, roll up. "You fuckin bitch you broke my chain!". To Brent all the white snow became red anger. Remembering the boxing lessons he had received at the hands of master $id, he proceeded to tapa, tapa, tapa (punch the shit out of...) her belly until the boys in their infinite wisdom pulled the enraged brent from the defeated old bitch, but decided to step on her just to be deviant. She went to sit on a rock to escape the weirdos, but the brent and sid bitch removers company, not just content to watch her in her physical torment, decided to break her already broken brain some more. Being homeless, she would have nothing to think about except to the preachings of sid.
Sid now begins to put the bitch in her place.
Sid - "I hope she'll be comfortable sleeping in the gutter, cause i know i will be sleeping in my own warm bed tonight."
Homeless Theresa - "Fuck You!"
Sid - "Can u even fucking read? cause i know for a fact u fuckin can't"
Homeless Theresa - "Yes I can!"
Sid - "Have u even read the bible? cause i know u cant even fuckin read"
Homeless Theresa - Now crying uncontrolably.
After sid tears down the homeless broad, the popo rolls up down the street. In the quiet night air all u can hear is the sweet sound of the siren and the melodic tones of a lady screaming rape. I know the cops are a coming, one from the fucking left and one from the fucking right, i dont know if one was coming from the fucking centre but i knew they wouldnt be late for the fucking dance. The crazy broad starts wailing like a banshee, "they were goin a rape me, they were goina rape me, thank GOD!!!". Cop: i see 3 guys and one defensless lady". After the laughter subsisted, we told the cop "LOOK at that bitch!!". So the cops realized the bitch was a crazy fuck, so we left with a new understanding of religion, comraderie, and a warm bed. THe lads exchanged tales over a hardy breakfest before retireing to the warmth of our sanctuaries.
Afterthoughts, and Retrospect
- "Brent beat her physically and i beaat her mentally!" - $id
- "I'm not so much ashamed as to beatiing a defensless crazy old woman, but that the fucker actually tackled me to the ground. But it was the ice that made me fall, honest." - Brent in retrospect