Just a wee bit of my poetry, thoughts, and stories.  Enjoy!

Matinee
      Sitting in the dark theatre my mind starts to wander with thoughts of you.  I see you standing on the stage and I feel myself wanting to be up there with you.  I hear you proclaiming you love toyour co-star and I wish I was her.  Anger grows inside of me as you take her in your arms and hold her tight.  I feel the anger even more when she says she loves you in return.  I can now feel myself, therein your arms.  I know that it is me that you say you love and not her, because I am in your arms and holding you tight.  I fear of letting you go because I want to be with you forever.

      I am suddenly aware of your hand caressing my cheek.  I place my hand on yours and you tilt my head back.  I can now look into your beautiful brown eyes.  You lean down and kiss my warm waiting lips.  It's a wonderful, soft, sensuous kiss.

       It seems too good to be true.  Could I really be here in your arms?  I open my eyes to make sure and I find myself back in the dark theatre, waiting for the show to begin.

The Stranger That I Knew

Searching the face of a stranger
That I have met before
A mischievous grin catches my eye

The smile is contagious
And soon I smile too
As I admire your deep brown eyes

These eyes have darker specks within the lighter
And colors that resemble
A world I never knew

The cheeks hold a glow
That will never grow pale
As long as I am by your side

I long to caress your smooth face
And run my petite fingers
Through your short brown hair

Your preppy style
Is one that  I'll admire
Because it is different from my own

But alas,
The twilight hour has come
And as I  move away

I swear your shinning
Brown eyes grow duller
Or is it just the absence of light

Walking away I realize,
With sudden stupidity
That you were just a painting on the wall.

"I can still..."

I can still smell you
As if you are standing next to me
That sweet aroma
Of your body's heat

I can still hear you
As if youare whispering in my ear
The sweet nothings
That you told me long ago

I can still feel you
As if your body's next to mine
Slowly moving closer
Till it touches me once more

I can still taste you
As if we just kissed
Your soft lips
Had once caressed my own

I can still care for you
As I once did
Even though
We are together no more

The Eyes (Paranoia)

Looking up from my uncompleted test, I see a pair of penetrating black eyes.  The veins are pulsing with anger.  The pupils seem to consume the whole eye, transforming it into an endless pit.  Nervously I look around at the other peoples' heads bent over their desks.  Pencils and pens scribbling furiously.  Nobody looks up.  Nobody notices what I notice.

Am I mad?  Could that be the reason why nobody else can feel "the eyes" penetrating their skull?  NO!  I am not mad!  The only thing that is wrong is that "the eyes" won't look at anyone else.  They can only see me.

I scream, "Do you see the eyes?  Do you see them coming for me?" as the eyes move closer and closer.  Everyone just stares, taunting me with their own eyes.  Their eyes used to be colors, beautiful colors.  Blues, greens, browns, and mixtures but now they are all black.  They all have turned from the miraculous colors to the deepest, darkest black.  All these eyese stare at me and it seems as thougth there are no faces anymore.  Just eyes!  JUST EYES!! Whirling about the room the eyes surround me.  I am knocking over tables, chairs, and papers just to get away from these horrifying eyes.

As I trip a yelp escapes my lips and I see the floor rushing towards me.  After a large crack I am suddenly at peace.  Blackness becomes comforting as I melt away into oblivion.

I Was Happy

Why did you say that you loved me, and then take it back?
Why did you propose and want to marry me, but then change your mind?
Why did you say that you wanted to be with me and only me,
and how many others did you say that to?
Why did you say you would never hurt me,
and then hurt me in the worst possible way?
Why did you promise to be with me forever and then leave?
But above all...
Why did you make me love you?
Why did you make me open my heart to you and trust you completely?
Why did you ruin my trust?
I trusted you totally and completely.
I saw the best in people when no one else could.
Why did you ruin that for me?
Now it is hard to trust another, it is hard to love another, it is hard to live.
Why do I still feel for you?
Why do I still ache for your touch?
Why do I still yurn to feel you inside of me?
Maybe I want to feel loved, the way that you used to love me.
Maybe I fell like i deserve to be hurt,
that I deserve to be miserable,
that I deserve nothin better than what you are,
and what I was when I was with you.
Maybe I deserve to be manipulated, to be lied to, and to be cheated on.
Maybe I deserve to live in the dark, like I did for two years of my life.
I was happy when I thought that you loved me.
I was happy when I thought that I could trust you.
I was happy when I believed every single lie that you told.
I was happy when you said you were telling me the truth.
I was even happy when you would tell me that you didn't trust me, because
I was happy when I would try to convince you that I was truthful,
that I was trustworthy and that I was honest.
I was happy and I want to be happy again.