Encouragement


Resolutions for the Black Woman 2002

  1. Love, Love, Love Yourself. There's only one of you, so love you till death!

  2. Stop Playing the Victim. Martyrdom is totally unnecessary for today's Black woman. Your first allegiance is to yourself. Without a strong sense of self, there is no way that you can tackle the ups and downs of a relationship or the rigors of motherhood (if you so choose).
  3. Stop Settling for Less. A piece of a man is definitely not better than a whole, healthy man. Your desperation is showing.
  4. Stop Trying to Be a Savior If a man doesn't have his head together and is on the skids, it is not up to you to try to save him. You are neither his mother nor his therapist. Let him go and move on. Men like this will bring you down if you aren't careful.
  5. Learn to Exhale Between Relationships. In other words...no transitional lovers. Someone always ends up being hurt and it could be you...again, or that poor man. Neither one of you deserves to be hurt or used. Give yourself some down time.
  6. Learn the Difference Between Being Alone and Lonely. Being alone is by choice and loneliness is only temporary. Get out and enjoy yourself. Wallowing in loneliness can often make women desperate for attention and lead them into unhealthy relationships.
  7. Don't Allow Any Man to Validate You. Allowing any man to define who you are as a woman leaves you open to being controlled and eventually abused. Why give a man that type of power over you? Now, do you really want to be the kind of woman who thinks that her life is not complete unless she has a man in it...any man? Where's your self-respect?
  8. Blessed is the Child that has Her Own. Handle your business educationally and financially. Generally, needy, uneducated women tend to attract men of the lowest character.
  9. Small sacrifices now, lead to bigger rewards later. Don't Let Good Sex Sway You. Sure, he may rock your boat like no other man has ever done, but don't let the sex cloud your judgment. If he treats you like crap, or like convenient booty call or just add you to his harem then, you may come to resent him with the same passion you displayed when he was between your legs. Now, if that's all you want, and that's all you think you're worth and are willing to settle for, be honest and protect yourself. If you play, you will definitely pay. Don't confuse lust with love. And no fair trying to trap him with a neither one of you wants. That's dirty pool. And why should an innocent child pay for your stupidity? After all, you picked him.
  10. Don't Try to Buy a Man's Affections. In the long run, not only will you lose him, but you will lose your self-respect and any smidgen of respect he may have had for you. Are you that desperate? Any self-respecting man will never allow himself to be kept. Kept meaning, letting him move into your place, his car note, allowing him to use your credit, etc.
  11. Stop Trying to Change Men. Men will usually tell you who they are if you really listen to them. So try less talking and do more listening and you will, most likely, save yourself some trouble.
  12. Stay Away from Unavailable Men. If he's married, separated, having problems with his baby's/babies' mama/mamas, not ready for a commitment, not willing to commit, etc., he is off limits. Now if you thrive on drama, then, by all means, go right ahead. Some women are made like that.
  13. Love Doesn't Hurt. Women who say that they love physical or verbal abuse from their mates have some serious emotional issues and will continue to make up excuses until they get the help they need. Don't become a statistic. The life you save may be your own.
  14. Don't Compromise Your Moral Values. Even if you don't consider yourself a particularly religious person, promiscuity will take a toll on your self-respect and even your health, in the long run. Sleeping around with men who don't have your best interests at heart tends to chip away at the very essence of you. Listen to your instincts. They will never lead you wrong.
  15. Respect is Reciprocal. If you want respect then you must give respect, especially toward your mate. If you lash out in anger, frustration, or whatever, be prepared to receive the same in return. Even the most loving and gentle man can take only so much of his woman's funky attitude.
  16. Keep Your Personal Business Between You and Your Man. Use extreme discretion whenever you are tempted to discuss your personal problems with family, friends and etc. Many relationships have been broken up due to outsiders putting their two cents in where it didn't belong. Keep that mouth zipped!





In honor of February as Black History Month and March as Women's History Month...To all my Beautiful Sistas

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can make a man mad, make him feel like dirt then, make love to him the same night and make him feel like a king.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN..............
Wears a burgundy French roll, 3 inch heels and a split up her thigh to work and make it look professional.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can wear the hell out of spandex.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can raise a doctor, a world class athlete and an A+ student in an environment deemed by society as dysfunctional, broken, underprivileged and disenfranchised.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can heat a whole house in the winter without help from the gas company.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can go from the boardroom to the block and "keep it real" in both places.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can slap the taste out of your mouth.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can put a Black man and his non-Black date on pins and needles just by walking into the room.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can live below poverty level and yet set fashion trends.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can fight two struggles everyday and make it look easy.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can make a child happy on Christmas Day even if he didn't get a thing.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can be admired and fantasized about by men of other races and know that when she does cross over its done out of sincerity not a political move.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can be 75 years old and look 45.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN..............
Can make other women want to pay plastic surgeons top $$$ for physical features she was already born with.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN............
Can be the mother of civilization........ Did Ya Hear me?




BLACK WOMAN CAKE


I'm making a black woman cake cause I'm hungry as hell.
And the sweet tooth I have, only a sista can break the spell.
Let me reach into my spice rack to see what I can get.
To make a mix that will stick to my stomach you can bet.

2 cups of intelligence,
1 cup of sugar brown.
Cause she's got to be sweet,
mental, deep and sound.

Cinnamon is always good
to accent the taste.
A few cups of culture
so she's down for her race.

You see I won't bite into anything
That's not conscious of its own.
That's why I stick to chocolate.
And leave angel food alone.

I am adding butter
cause she must be smooth.
2 raisins for the dimples
will also be cool.

I must add eggs
so she can reproduce.
Can't leave her hanging
cause I like children too!!

I think I'll add a little salt
to balance her out.
And a dominant profile
to show she has clout.

For a responsible woman
I'll throw in some yeast
So she'll swell with juices
when I'm ready to feast.

I'll add 7 cups of courage
and into the oven to bake.
Turn it to 360 degrees
To balance out her mental state.

Now that it's done brothas
I won't share her wealth
But I'm sharing the recipe
As I'm consuming this black woman
all by myself.

Good Black Women are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls, in captivity behind the walls, And in the hall at work. Most we can't see because we don't knowwhat a good woman really looks like. She usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. She might not wear a fur coat or push a Lex. She might not have a "body by Fisher" or a face for "Ebony." But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head.

A Good Black Women doesn't agree whole heartily with everything you say. She doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. She doesn't have to declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada, yada, yada, she is (she won't have to...because it shows). She has her own opinions and you may clash, but she doesn't have to degrade you to prove she's right. She even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A Good Black Women is not going to meet every item on your checklist. She is human with frailties & faults mixed in with all of her wonderful, sensual attributes. She needs your love & respect, she needs to feel that you don't have to catch her doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!!!"

A Good Black Women doesn't necessarily give you a huge Birthday or Valentine gift. She shows her love in the ways that are comfortable to her. Don't judge her by TV standards. No one is living that Fairy tale -- for real.

BLACK WOMEN, we salute you, and thank you for who you are, and all you've done.


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