The ballad of the nice guy
This is from a musical or a broadway show of some sort anyway...it is the TRUE story of what it's like to be a nice guy...well, to an extent...most nice guys ARE just waiting for either the time that they finally get a chance or their explosion...whichever comes first...
enjoy
Alan. (His frustation and anger builds gradually as HE delevers this) I'm a nice guy. I'm a goddamn nice guy. I say that not because I think it's true, but because that's what everybody says. Ask any girl who's known me for more than a week, and that's how they'll describe me. "Alan? He's a nice guy." They say that because, you know, hell, you know nice guys, right? Don't try to hurt people, try to be a gentleman. Treat people right, especially girls. Because that's what we learned girls are attracted to, they want to be treated right. Right? You get a bunch of girls together and get them talking about guys, and they'll dream you up the perfect gentleman. But when it comes to real life, oh man!, that's very different. Because you get those girls together and get them talking about real men, not figments of their imagination, but real people, and what do you get? (Mimicking.) "Ohhh, men are scum! Men are slime! Men are shits!" (You notice how all those words begim with "S"? I think there's something to that.) So, men are all these "S" words, all these and more, but who do the girls date? Who comes on to them at bars and who do they go home with? The slime! The shits! And after they get hurt, and they always do, they call me up to confide in me, because long ago we decided that we were "just going to be friends." (I swear, you girls need to get a whole new vocabulary; you've started so many goddamn clich�s it's not funny.) So, these girls call me up and they say, "Alan, all guys are sliiiime!" And then they realize that they're talking to a guy, and they say, "Oh, except you, Alan, you're a nice guy. When you find a girlfriend, she's going to be such a lucky girl. But it can't be me because, well, I'm attracted to guys that are going to shit all over me." So great. So now I have all the friends I need, so why should I be a nice guy anymore? Huh? I think I'll be a shit now. Yeah! I think I'll learn some stupid pick-up lines and use them on girls who are dressed to get laid. I think I'll be proud of how loud I can belch. I think I'll use women like they're Black and Decker screwdrivers! Sure! That's what girls really want to hear! So great. Life begins now, okay? OKAY? Come on, babe, lets go home and FUCK!
and there you have it folks, the ballad of the nice guy. Every nice guy in the world knows EXACTLY what this page is about, but as soon as a girl see it she thinks it's a joke. It is NOT a joke, the nice guys, the good guys, the guys girls dream about but ignore, this is how we feel, this is how we eventually view the world...it is because of this view that there are so few nice guys. Eventually we see what being a nice guy gets us and we give up. There's absolutely no reason to be a nice guy if that's NOT what girls want...So girls, here is your chance at a rebuttal, e-mail me "The Ballad of the Girl" tell me why a nice guy should stick to it even though it gets him nowhere. Convince ME that being a nice guy is a good idea and I will post your reasons on my website as well as beginning its circulation among the general populace. Here is my e-mail address, this is not a contest of any sort, if only one person replies then I will post ONE response and begin the end.
[email protected]
it is not in a link format, I don't like those, so just copy and paste. Good Luck...
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