| Scarlett held back tears. He was being so cold and she couldn�t understand why. She wondered what it was that she had ever done wrong to give him reason to be repelled in any way by her. What had she done wrong? Was she too clingy? Did she fall in love too hard? She couldn�t dissect him with her mind. She tried hard to read it within his eyes but it was like a sword cutting through her to look at him and want him so much and know from what he told her that she could never mean more to him. She wondered what exactly she meant to him. Was she just another pathetic masochist that this sadist used to get his kicks? Had he once loved her then had seen how crazy she was and fallen out of love with her so quickly? It was much too embarrassing to ask, she felt weak and pathetic even to consider the possibility of asking him how he truly felt about her. She wanted of all things to avoid asking that of him but if she wanted answers, if she truly wanted closure, she needed to swallow her pride and fears and ask him what she longed to know.
�I�m here to find out why we stopped talking. I want to know why you left me there without a word, with no closure, and without a clue how you felt about me. I think you are the most awesome person I�ve ever met in my life and I would love to spend the rest of my life with you and only you, but these mind games are ridiculous. I want to know right here, right now how you feel about me. I want to know if I mean anything to you at all. Even if I don�t I would like to know if I ever did so I don�t torture my brain asking what if over and over for the rest of my life,� she cried feeling like she was so naked having just exposed her real emotions to him. �Look, you�re a really attractive, smart, and wonderful girl, but I couldn�t love you longer than in the moment of torture and seeing fear and pain in your eyes. To be quite honest, if I were to tell you that I really loved you, I would be lying. I love the way you make me feel about myself is all. You give me power and a sense of self that no other woman has ever given me and I enjoy that. But marriage, or love, anything like that is beyond my scope of competence with you. I�m sorry. I could handle you as my submissive and nothing more.� Scarlett felt her heart shatter to a million pieces. She couldn�t believe what she was hearing. In a sick way it was a compliment that she made him feel that great about himself, but it definitely wasn�t the answer she was looking for. She wanted him all to herself and he wasn�t willing to give it no matter how much of herself she gave to him. She couldn�t take this. It was the last straw for her. She had found her perfect match and he didn�t want her. Something inside of her snapped like a rubber band that has been slowly pulled far too long. Her face showed nothing, but in her mind the words �Get the ghoul� flashed over an over in blood. She grinned at him and walked out the door without a word, closing the door behind her gently. She raced down the stairs, out the building and to her car in a smooth quickened walking pace. She went for her axe. Up the stairs she went and back to room 212 holding the axe behind her back and grinning ever so slightly like nothing at all was wrong. She opened the front door, gazed around the room for the ghoul and found no one. She let herself in and walked towards the bathroom where she heard water running in the sink. She opened the door slowly and found the ghoul standing there washing his hands. He looked up at her surprised that she was back so soon. She stood there in the doorway for a while not saying a word or moving a muscle, just staring at him intently. In that moment he knew something was wrong. He had pushed her too far with his games.He shouldn't have led her on any further to believe that he didn't like her even though he truly loved her dearly. He had only told her that he didn't to fool with her mind more. That was a big mistake, he thought. He needed to tell her right then that it was just a game. He recoiled but it was to no help, for the moment he flinched a muscle down came the axe upon his head and he was on the floor. It was too late to tell her the truth. Scarlett stood over him whacking him repeatedly in the face. She wanted to completely ruin every part of him that she loved dearly. She couldn�t stop herself. She had to keep going until there was nothing left but a mass of unrecognizable flesh and blood in the middle of the floor. After the 15th whack she didn�t even feel her muscles doing work to lift the axe at all. She wasn�t even conscious that she was still moving. All that she heard in her head was noise like that of Merzbow�s Pulse Demon. By the 40th whack, she was starting to come back into reality. She looked down at what she had done and gasped in horror. She jumped back, dropped the axe and stumbled into the hall from which she came. There was blood everywhere in that room. It made her sick to her stomach to think that she had just done this to the one she loved the most. There were no longer those eyes that she could stare into and feel the soul connection with; they were in a mass of human stew on the floor with emptiness behind them. She began to quiver and choked back the sensation of needing to vomit. What was she to do now? Her purpose for living was gone. She paced the floor of the apartment searching for a way out of the mental hell she had just thrown herself into. She ran to the windows, in search of who knows what. She just needed something, anything to get this out of her immediate memory. But there was nothing profound enough to mask what she had done. Not only had she ruined the most interesting and magnetic being to ever walk the earth, she had ruined herself for taking him away from herself. Now that she thought it over, it wouldn�t have been so bad to have simply been his submissive. At least she would be near him. She threw her body into a wall and slid down into the corner to start crying. Her hands were covered in blood but it was the only thing left of him that she could hold and embrace so she hugged her blood soaked hands. After a couple of hours of sitting within that empty apartment with the body of the one she loved mutilated on the floor, she decided that nothing else on this earth is worth her effort. She walked back into the bathroom, stepped over the body and grabbed her axe. She went for the window of the kitchen and broke all the glass off of it with the axe. She then climbed out the window, gasping the axe close to her and crying, knowing that it�ll all be over soon. She looked over her feet at her final destination, took a deep breath and let go of this plane of existence. Her body sailed through the air serenely, did one revolution and hit the concrete with the blade of the axe impaling her chest with the force of velocity. It was finally over. All the torture that she had gone through, longing for an untouchable phantom was finally at an end. She never got what she wanted but at least he had plucked out the pain for one final time. Scarlett was obsessed so took an axe And gave the ghoul some 40 whacks, And when she saw what she had done, She gave herself a final one. |
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