Favorite Quotes
"This man is capable of anything!"

"He weighs eight-hundred and four pounds.  What's he gonna do, break wind on me?"
                                                        Adrian & Sharona
                                   Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale
"Ok, Just for the record, what we just did..."

"Breaking and entering."

"Yea- it's wrong, 'k?  Don't- don't do it."

                                                           Adrian & Benjy
                                         Mr. Monk goes on Vacation
"Would you mind?  I'll pay you back."

"Where's your wallet?"

"I'm having it, you know, buffed."


                                                       Adrian & Sharona
                             Mr. Monk and the Billionare Mugger
"Why am I always the victim?"

"Because the victim usually ends up on the ground, in- in the dirt.  And I'm... me."


                                                       Adrian & Sharona
                       Mr. Monk and the Red- Headed Stranger
"That's a marlin, isn't it?"

"Yes.  That's one of two things I managed to catch in Mexico."

"What was the other?"

"Dysintery."


                                                       Adrian & Doctor
                                    Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum
"How does he do it?  I have two eyes, I see everything that he sees.  But... I- I don't see what he sees."


                                                              Stottlemeyer
                                       Mr. Monk and the Candidate
"Wow!  These are really good!  Did you make these?"

"They're Oreos Sheldon."

"... They are?"


                                                    Sharona & Sheldon
                                       Mr. Monk and the Candidate
"It was her favorite song."

"I'm sure she heard you."

"I don't see how, she's been dead for four years."



                                                      Adrian & Sharona
                                       Mr. Monk and the Candidate
"Hey, hey!  This is a crime scene!"

"Don't worry, I'll knock it all over again later."


                                             Sharona & Stottlemeyer
                                 Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale
"It's too late to start yawning now, I would have had to start yawning when I was upstairs to set it up!"

"It is not too late to start yawning right now because you have to start yawning at some point in the day!"



                                                     Sharona & Adrian
                                  Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival
"Monk!  Come here!"

"Oh, my God!  Oh, my God, he was right -- I wasn't expecting him, and here he is!  Get in the car, here we go!"

"You're just gonna run away?"

"Absolutely!  Join me, won't you?"

"You can run, but you can't hide!"

"Oh, yeah, I can hide!  Don't think I can't hide!  He thinks I can't hide."

"He doesn't know who he's messing with.  Nobody hides like you!"

                               Coach, Sharona, and Adrian
                                  Mr. Monk Goes Back to School
"Excuse me, what are you doing?"

"Oh - um...just making them even."

"But you're mixing the regular with the decaf!"

"But they're even."

"But they're mixed together."

"But they're --they're even."

"But they're mixed together."

"But they're even..."

"But they're mixed together."

"But they're even...So the test was in progress when the car alarm sounded?"


                                               Derek, Adrian
                                 Mr. Monk Goes Back to School
"What are you doing?! What --"

"Your move!"

"Okay. Okay, I win. You just forfeited."

"Why?"

"You can't do that. It's illegal."

"What?"

"You know what. You can't lick the queen."

"She's my queen!"

"It doesn't matter whose queen it is. You can't lick any queen. It's an unwritten rule."

"There's an unwritten licking the queen rule?"

"You're not even allowed to touch a piece during a game. You can ask anybody."

"Oh, my god, you have been touching pieces left and right! You have been sexually harassing every piece on this board!"

"I was centering them. That's different."

                                               Adrian, Sharona
                                 Mr. Monk Goes Back to School
"What are you doing?!  You can't look through people's mail!"

"I'm not stealing anything, I'm just combing through!  I don't want to live in a world where a person can't comb through another person's mail!"

                                           Sharona, Adrian
                                       Mr. Monk and the Psychic
"Ahh - Adrian, are you sure about this?"

"Well, no!"

"You better be right - I swear - I'll kill you!"

                                            Sharona, Adrian
                                        Mr. Monk and the Psychic
"I haven't been paid since the earthquake."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's been three weeks!....  Hm?  Here's your checkbook."

"Dinga bogga, wagga shagga?" 

"That's not funny."

"Brogga wog, chaga rog... wagga shorg."

"Kay, will you stop it?  You owe me money!"

"Suru, wrogger, wroggi shog."

"I know you're faking it!"

"Not faking it!"

"You just spoke English!"

"Wog shoggle woggle... Doro Goro."

                                            Adrian, Sharona
                                    Mr. Monk and the Earthquake
"Oh, wow, look at that!  Nice picture!  Why'd you get rid of the mustache?"

"My Captain has a mustache.  I shaved mine off so that people could tell us apart."

                                                Disher, Gail
                                   Mr. Monk and the Earthquake
"You should get caller ID."

"I have caller ID, I had it before you."

"No you didn't!"

"I told you about caller ID!"

"What!?  I had caller ID when I lived in Valencia, remember, you came over and I showed you how it worked?"

"I had caller ID when I was living with Lenny in Seattle."

"Ok, you never told me that!"

"I know, I was avoiding your calls.  I had caller ID!"

                                              Sharona, Gail
                                  Mr. Monk and the Earthquake
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