Mr. Monk and the Gail Force Wind
by Kim Robarts
(This is a fan fiction that takes place during the time of the earthquake, but in this - there is no Darryl and no Christine. This is merely Sharona taking residence at Gail's with Benjy and Adrian in tow. Poetic license, if you will continue on!)

Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk
Amy Sedaris as Gail Fleming
Bitty Schram as Sharona Fleming
Ted Levine as Captain Leland Stottlemeyer
Max Morrow as Benjy Fleming

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Mr. Monk and the Gail Force Wind








        Benjy was out playing at a friend's house when Gail curled up on the sofa to watch her soaps. Sharona had gone out on a date with a new guy named Jack and she was left alone with Monk - no doubt in charge of babysitting him.
        Her eyes glazed over as she watched the romance between the characters Judy and Marshall on As the World Turns. It seemed forever since she herself had actually gone out on a date. She was more than a little green with envy.
        Lucky Sharona! Her sister always managed to bounce back and attracted the guys, without any effort, while she was left at home! Sharona even had a backup man in case she ever got really lonely - Adrian Monk!
        Not that he was the ideal man, mind you! He required work - lots of work! Gail smiled to herself as she thought of it.
        "Poor Adrian!" She said to herself. "No one ever gives him a fair shake! He can be a total flake, at times... but, hmm... I bet he's bored too! I think I'll go see what he's up to!"
        Getting up, she padded down the hall in her bare feet to see he was cleaning up from lunch in the kitchen - where else would he be? He had his face behind an open door of the cabinet as he put away some glasses, the sound of them clinking together drowned out the noises around him.
        So, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he shut the door and saw Gail suddenly before him.
        "Ahh! Gail! Don't do that!" He snarled, grasping his chest. He felt like he was going o have a cardiac.
        "Well, that's a nice howdy-do!" She replied and looked around. "Whatcha' doin'?"
        She began to chew her gum, loudly - a habit Adrian had always found irritating.
        He gave her a strange look, wondering - could she be trying to have 'small talk' with him? He felt stupid stating the obvious.
        "I'm doing the dishes!"
        "Ohh! Thanks! You're better than a maid and cheaper too!" She replied, giggling with her mouth full of Juicy Fruit.
        Adrian rolled his eyes as he turned away.
        But, she refused to leave.
        'She's still standing there... watching me!' He thought to himself. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of something else.
        "Well, anyhoozle - I'm - I'm thinking of going out for a bit and since no one will be here to watch you - I wondered if you want to come with me?"

        Adrian shuddered a bit, he felt a vein of anger creep up along his spine. "I'm not twelve, Gail! I can take care of myself!"
        "Yah, I know it! It's just - that, ah - Sharona wouldn't like it!" Gail said, drawing excuses out of thin air.
        "I'm fine by myself, Gail!"
        "Yah, but - well - I'm no - and I'd like some company - in case there is a mugger or some crap!"
        Adrian turned to look at her now in surprise. His disquieting eyes made her squirm a bit.
        "I'm asking you out, Adrian! What do I have do here? Spell it out?" She hissed.
        "Ou - out?" Adrian stammered, he put down a plate he was drying on the counter.
        "I know I'm not Sharona, but I was hoping you and I could try to get to know one another.?"
        Adrian seemed hesitant. "I - I don't know Gail.?"
        His words seemed so final to her, like he'd already made up his mind. She nodded at him, bravely as her heart broke. Her eyes flooded with tears as she found it impossible to answer him. Turning on her heel, she fled the room.
        Adrian sighed in frustration. What had just happened here? What brought this on? What the hell do I do now?
        "Damn!!" He cursed to himself as he threw down his rag. He rubbed his throbbing head for a moment. Being decisive was not his strongest suit.
        Finally, he followed her out into the living room. She clearly heard him but just ignored his presence - her puffy eyes engrossed in the TV set in front of her, as she cradled her knees up against her chin.
        "Mr. Monk, I'm not speaking to you!" she snarled, twirling her hair in veiled anger.
        "Gail - you can call me Adrian! I - I -"
        "What? Cat got your tongue?!" she answered and now glared up at him standing behind her on the sofa. "You know, I've been more than saintly letting you stay here while your
        Adrian gritted her teeth. "I know."
        "Letting you use my guest room!" she continued with her tirade.
        "I know!" he grumbled, quietly.
        "And, all that water for the bath! Coming out of my own pocket, mind you!"
        "I know, I know, I know - I'll pay you back, alright?!" he hissed, laying his hands on the top of the couch.
        "All I ask is to go out with you somewhere for a bite to eat! Why is that so hard? Am I really that bad - that you can't stand me for an hour?"
        Adrian sat down a good distance from her at the end of the sofa, he had to think for a minute.
        "Adrian?! Oh! That's weird calling you that!" she said, marveling at it for a moment.
        Still no reply, as he was wrapped up in thought.
        "Look, forget I asked! No biggie!" she snarled and immersed herself back in her show.
        "No, no - you're right - umm - OK." he finally answered, though he sounded quite hesitant.
        "OK what?" she hissed in reply.
        He gave her a dirty look.
        "Don't push it, Gail!"
        "Man, you're nasty first thing in the morning - it's kind of sexy!"
        "Gail!!" warned Adrian.
        "Awright!" she barked. "Where do you want to go?"
        Before he had a chance to decide, she'd made his decision for him - perhaps it was a good thing.
        "How about Luciano's? They just opened down by the bridge - they are supposed to have great food!"
        She jumped to her feet full of renewed life and spirits.
        "Oh! A date! This is so exciting! Not like I don't have plenty of dates - well, of late not - but that's going to change starting now!" she said, practically jumping for joy.
        Adrian looked up at her little exhibition in disbelief. "It's not a date, Gail!"
        "You call it what you want, babycakes! Just so you know -" she said and leaned in close to him near the couch, he moved back a bit in fear. "I do kiss on the first date! Oh God - I have to decide what to wear!!"
        With that over enthusiastic pronouncement, she went running from the room.
        "What have I done?!" Adrian lamented, burying his face in his hands.

        (Later, on the way to Luciano's):

        After a good twenty minutes in Gail's car arguing furtively where the restaurant actually was, to find that Adrian already knew the directions, which Gail promptly ignored - it was going to be a trial.
        Not only that, but to Adrian's horror, he found Gail drove more recklessly than Sharona.
        Sharona! How he missed her right now!
        She seemed like Mother Teresa compared to Cruella DeVille seated next to him.
        "Get out of the way, you stupid prick! Who taught you to drive, huh?! Some guy in his 80s with his thumb up his ass?!" she shouted inside the car as she slammed on her brakes in traffic. She landed on her horn.
        Adrian jumped in his seat in shock.
        "Oh, sorry, sweet buns - we're almost there!"
        "Please, don't call me that!" he snarled.
        "Alright - 'Oh, sorry, Adrian - we're almost there!' How's that?" she asked him, but then landed on her horn again. "Learn to drive, jerk off! Hey, there's the restaurant! We're in luck! How is it you're always right?"
        "I'm not right about everything!" he replied under his breath and bore his eyes into her, bitterly. He hadn't been right about this date.
        "Was that sarcasm? That's not very nice! Look, it's obvious we don't see eye to eye on everything - but, I promise I'll try from this point on! Deal? And, if I mess up - well, it's not like it'll matter. Especially with me." she said, quietly, all the while keeping her eyes trained on the road.
        He looked at her now in surprise, he felt a pang of guilt on how he'd reacted.
        Her last words seemed an honest reaction to how nervous she was about the whole thing. It was true that she must have been terribly lonely in that big apartment most times - he only knew too well what that felt like. In truth, she did partially bring it on herself - but, what if she had been trying all along, constantly putting her foot in her mouth? People turning away from her without her ever knowing why.
        For a moment, he almost had a desire to reach out to touch her hand.
        But as she noticed his fingers moving closer to hers, he stopped and suddenly drew them back. She almost touched them herself, but didn't.
        Without warning, she slowly pulled the car over to the shoulder of the road near the restaurant and put it in park.
        "What are you doing?" he asked, looking alarmed.
        "Sharona was last in this car with me - she always keeps some packets of those thingamabobs you use - Lever 1000!" Gail said, as she leaned across Adrian a bit to fish in the glove compartment.
        "Lever 2000!" he corrected her quietly.
        "Yeah, that's them! Oh, here's some! Good!"
        She reached for a packet, he thought she was going to hand him one - as was so much the habit. Instead, she cleaned her own hands with them, down to the last digit.
        "There! I'm all clean. So, am I safe?" she asked, looking at him with hope in her eyes. He was surprised - she wanted to touch him!
        He never noticed until that moment - she was actually kind of cute. He smiled at her gesture.
        "Sure!" he replied, warmly.
        She took his hand tenderly in hers and a nice little feeling passed through Adrian as she caressed the back of his fingers.
        "Oh my, you have beautiful hands! You should be one of those hand models!"
        "Hand models?" he asked quietly, in amusement.
        "Yeah, you know like George on that episode of 'Seinfeld'! Just don't touch any irons!" she giggled.
        Adrian was mildly tickled by her Gailspeak - much of what no known man has been able to decipher.
        Gail, on the other hand, seemed lost in her own little world as with child-like wonder she gazed at his hand.
        "It feels so nice - warm - strong! Well-shaped with that lovely dusky hair along the knuckles. I bet it feels great when you."
        "Umm - perhaps we should go on to the restaurant now!" he said, feeling uncomfortable by her intonation. He grabbed his hand back from her.
        "Yeah, oops - sorry! Guess it has been a long time! Oh, and I didn't mean to suggest that you do 'that' with - you know - your hand! Do you?"
        "Oh - God!" Adrian gasped, covering his eyes.
        It was the start of a long day as the brief respite was over.
        He happened to glance up to see her wiping her hands again with another moist wipe.
        "What are you doing now?" he cried.
        "Well, maybe that thing you have - maybe it's contagious!" Gail said, real concern in her face.
        "I'm not contagious!"
        "How many times have I heard that before!" she answered, laughing to herself.
        "Oh - God!" Adrian repeated, loudly.
        Sharona!! Where was Sharona when he needed her?!

        (Finally, at the restaurant):

        Gail and Adrian managed to get a nice table overlooking the bay, that was until Adrian noticed the tide was making him nauseous - so they had to switch seats to the back of the restaurant.
        At last, they were happily ensconced.
        "Are we good?" asked Gail as they took their chairs. Adrian hesitated, trying to decide where to sit at the round, four-chaired table.
        "Maybe, we should sit at the table with only two chairs?" Adrian replied, looking uncomfortable.
        "I tell you what, honey buns, I'll decide for you! You park your cute, little butt over there and I'll sit here!" Gail announced, sitting so she faced the other diners.
        Adrian happily complied and sat where she directed to her right.
        "There! Isn't this cozy? You know what, though? I like being closer to the washrooms, you know - to powder my nose in case of emergencies. Can we switch?"
        Adrian just nodded and again they were playing musical chairs.
        The maitr'd who was standing near by, was growing impatient with every new game the couple was inventing.
        At last they sat down. Adrian in the center and Gail to his right.
        "Comfy now?!" he snarled, as he handed them their menus.
        "Yes, monsieur! Thanks! Say - do you have a wine list?" she asked, plopping down, then wiggling her derriere in her seat to situate herself.
        "You're drinking at this hour?" Adrian whispered to her in surprise.
        "I'm more fun when I do!!" she said and smiled.
        Adrian rolled his eyes.
The maitre'd nodded and walked off for the back of the restaurant.
        "You know - you're no fun!" Gail whined, looking at him sullenly. For a moment, he remembered when Sharona had told him the same thing! They really were sisters.
        "Thank you!" He replied.
        "You're like the Fore bearer of Gloom and Doom - either that or Mr. Clean's long lost relative from California!" Gail said and began to laugh to herself at the thought.
        "I get the point!" Adrian snarled; he looked less than pleased at the analogy. He just laughed in a hollow way that gave the impression that it was anything but humorous.
        "Ah c'mon, lighten up, sunshine - we're on a date. Let your hair down or what passes for it!" She replied. "Ohh... I forgot - my best behavior. Umm... how about this instead, let me think..."
        "Gail, it's alright - you don't have." Adrian tried to stop her in mid-flight.
        "No, no - give me just a second. I'll come up with something! How about - 'We're here to have a good time, so relax and enjoy yourself!' There, that's good, eh?" She said, smiling proudly at him.
        "That's fine, Gail. Thank you!"
        ".Though you could still act like less of a stuffed shirt!" She snarled under her breath as she looked around the restaurant. "I wonder if the food in here's like they said? There's hardly a soul around!"
        "The waiter's just getting us something to drink!" Adrian snarled, ignoring her a bit.
        "Well, it better be damned strong coffee!" She answered him. "So, tell me about yourself a bit! Did you live here your whole life or did the mother ship just drop you off in the desert somewhere?"
        Adrian looked at her angrily. "And, do you always open your mouth without checking to see if something worthwhile comes out of it first?"
        "Gee, you can't take a joke!" She answered, blithe fully. "Well, that's OK - the day is still young!"
        He was about to stand up, when she grabbed his sleeve and begged him to sit down again.
        Finally, the maitre'd returned. "Are you ready to order?"
        "Yes!" Adrian answered, only too happy to have the intervention and not have to deal with Gail alone anymore.
        "No! We haven't even looked at it, my love - would you be so kind as to give us just a tick more time?" Gail asked, looking up at the maitre'd, who walked away in a huff again. She lifted up the menu in front of her face "I'd like to figure out what I want first, thank you very much! You're not ordering for me!"
        "Like I'd ever be able to convince you to!" Adrian snarled, under breath.
        "I heard that!" She snarled behind the menu. "You don't like me much do you?"
        Gail brought down the divider between them and gazed into his face.
        "Alright, I'm sorry for being rude - I guess I don't give you much reason to like me. I'll shut up for a bit, will that work?" She asked.
        "Sounds like heaven!" He answered, lifting his own menu and smiled a bit.
        "Well, you could at least have said - 'Thank you, Gail that sounds wonderful!'"
        "I thought you said you were going to be quiet for awhile?" He asked.
        She swore something incoherent and buried her face behind her placard again.
        He giggled a bit to himself and then said. "Oh my, there certainly are a lot of choices. Gail, what do you normally order?"
        She said nothing.
        "Gail?" He asked, timidly.
        Nothing - absolute, stark nothing.
        He brought down the menu and he could hear her snickering.
        "Please - umm - sweet buns?" He asked.
        She now was heard laughing clearly; finally she brought down the menu. "How about the fettuccine, Adrian? It's really spectacular. Had it here just a few weeks ago. I think they make the noodles by hand!"
        "By - hand??" He cried, nervously. The mere thought gave him the creeps.
        "Well, I'm sure the hands are gloved! What - noodles freak you out?"
        "Of course not!"
        "They should you know - I mean, they seem to jiggle on the plate by themselves when you touch them. It's like they are still alive, and they are so pasty and white - you almost feel sorry for them!"
        Adrian couldn't help it; he broke down in a smile.
        "Ah ha! I knew you were hiding that somewhere - you're kind of cute when you smile you know. I haven't had the opportunity to see that much - not like you smile around me. Except for that time I got my shoe stuck in the grate at the house. 'Course, that wasn't funny at the time - those were expensive Italian shoes!"
        He covered his mouth, giggling some more.
        "Stop that! It's still not funny - damn!" She snarled, and hid her face again.
        Adrian reached up and brought down the menu and she started to laugh as she looked at him. He studied her for a moment as she grinned at him; she looked like she was definitely enjoying the springtime weather outside by the outfit she'd chosen. She had a tiny, white buttoned-down cotton blouse, with large cross-stitched flowers all over in pastel design. Underneath, she had on a little crew-cut white T-shirt that revealed her lovelier attributes as her tan skin seemed to cry California. Her slightly worn, faded blue jeans had a rose design from her knee up to her hip. She had a pair of beaded, laced up sandals on her bare feet where Adrian noted she'd recently painted her toe nails with a pink hue. Her straight, blonde hair fell around her shoulders and was pulled back at the sides, as was her usual style; two wisps of her hair came around to frame her attractive face.
        Adrian, on the other hand, stayed in his usual casual attire of a chocolate brown jacket over a checkered grey shirt, a simple pair of dark brown slacks folded at the ankle and his favorite patent leather shoes. Simple was always preferable to over done, he'd always thought. Less trouble. He couldn't abide by ties.
        "Fettuccine sounds wonderful!" He said, blushing as he noticed he was examining her a little longer than he should.
        "You're taking my suggestion? Wow! This is a first!" She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Maybe I should write the date down!"
        He smiled at her. "Do they put the fettuccini on the side - or on top?"
        "Umm... not sure. Ask, I'm sure they are very accommodating!"
        Just then, the maitre'd came up to Adrian's elbow and coughed loudly. His arrogance was not just brimming under the surface on this man; you could feel the tension in the room. Adrian didn't like the feeling one bit; he seemed to want to move instantly away from him. He scooted his chair a bit closer to Gail.
        But, Gail thought he was trying to get snuggly and reached for his hand, he moved his chair back towards the maitre'd again.
        "Would you like to order now?" He hissed.
        "You'd hate us if we didn't, wouldn't you?" She said. The maitre'd gave her a growlish look. "Oh alright, keep your pants on! I'll have the fettuccini Alfredo and so will he!"
        "Uh - could I have the pasta with the alfredo on the side?"
        "Sir, you must combine the two, that makes it fettuccini - alfre-do!" The man snarled, as he held his hand out in front of his face as he enunciated the words like Adrian was an idiot.
        "Hey! Listen, how much effort can it take to just give this man what he asked for?! It should be easier for you, you don't have to do anything but slap the sauce on the plate and put a pile of pasta next to it! That doesn't take a rocket scientist, does it?!" Gail hissed, she would have reached out to grab the maitre'd, but since she liked to come here.
        "No, it's fine. I'll just order something else!" Adrian complained, feeling humiliated.
        But, the waiter just nodded at Gail solemnly and bowed as he walked quickly out back again. Adrian watched him go in amazement.
        "See, sometimes you have to be firm, Adrian! There is no place for someone to treat you that way!" She said and then stopped herself.
        She looked up at Adrian; he gazed back at her with quiet, knowing eyes. She then swallowed hard.
        "I'm sorry." she complained. "I guess I have been."
        "It's OK!" He muttered. He looked down at the table now, and began to paw at his napkin, nervously.
        "No, its not. I've been mean. You agreed to come here today; I've been nothing but a pain in the ass. I want to show you I'm not the Gail you knew, but I've been doing a really great mess of it!"
        He shook his head. "So have I, I haven't been cutting you much slack. Truce, alright?"
        She smiled up at him, tenderly. Her eyes glistened over a bit.
        "Yeah, truce!"
        "Let's just enjoy our meal. You asked before, I think, if I've lived here all my life?"
        She glanced up at him, forgetting a moment she'd asked it earlier.
        "Actually it was an inadvertent detour. I was looking for the cafeteria on the mother ship and mistaken the exit for a bathroom!" He answered.
        Gail laughed out loud at his joke and now Adrian laughed with her. It felt actually nice. He was actually rolling with the punches - for her - she liked it.
        "I didn't say it earlier, Adrian - but thanks for taking me out today! I needed it!" Gail sighed, still grinning.
        He glanced up at her. "So did I!"
        "See, this isn't so bad! I think that the date started out that way, but you know what - I'm glad I'm here and not at home!" She chirped and tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder in a carefree manner. Perhaps she was inadvertently flirting. For some reason, Adrian found he didn't mind at the moment.
        Suddenly, the swinging doors to the kitchen banged open and the sounds of chocking were heard. The startled patrons of the restaurant looked up as the saw the maitre'd who'd just taken their orders stumble from the back, grasping his throat in distress.
        "Oh my God! He's chocking!!" Gail screamed.
        "Someone! Does anyone know the Heimlich Maneuver?" Another person shouted.
        "I do!!" Another person responded and jumped to the man's aid. Running up to him, he placed his arms around him just under his ribcage and squeezed him tightly. But, instead of helping, the man became dead weight in his arms as he blacked out. Frightened, the guest let him go. The maitre'd collapsed on the floor.
        A man came over to the pair, and checked the maitre'd's pulse.
        "He's dead!" He cried.
        "I didn't do it! I swear to God!! I didn't kill him! All I was doing was trying to help!" The rescuer cried, recoiling in horror at the sight of everyone who now crowded around the body of maitre'd sprawled on the floor - including Gail and Adrian.
        Adrian's keen instincts kicked in as he closely inspected the body of the maitre'd, Gail meanwhile was trying to comfort the rescuer.
        "No one is blaming you! Don't worry! It's not you're a doctor after all!" She said, patting his back.
        "I am a doctor!" The man replied, meekly.
        "Oh!" Gail replied and moved away from him a bit. He began to cry a bit, Adrian glared up at her in anger.
        But, the rescuer felt one last effort was required to save face, if the cause of the man lying dead on the floor was all but gone.
        "Maybe we should check to see if his airway is clear!" He stated.
        The man was pronounced dead, little more could be done for him! Adrian looked horrified at the thought as all eyes turned on him; he just couldn't bring himself to do it. So he instead turned his eyes on Gail, imploring to her.
        "Fine! I'll do it!" she grumbled, kneeling beside Adrian on the floor. "And you call yourself a detective!"
        "You're a detective?" asked another man in the crowd.
        "Former - detective." Adrian corrected as he stood up.
        "Yeah, now he's just nosy as hell! Ah, there we go!" Gail said, as she stuffed her small fist rather crudely down into the dead maitre'd's mouth.
        Adrian couldn't watch, as covering his own mouth - he turned away.
        The others gasped at her rude methods.
        "Well, I can tell he's had extensive dental work done and his tonsils removed... Ohh!" Gail explained to the on-lookers as she planted her knee into the dead man's chest.
        "Gail! This isn't exploratory surgery here! Just remove the obstruction!" barked Adrian, impatiently.
        "Can't!" she answered to him above her.
        "Why?" he asked.
        "There isn't one!"
        More gasps were heard, as he looked back at her. She was cleaning her hands with a moist wipe.
        "That's strange!" Adrian exclaimed as he knelt back down next to Gail.
        "Boy, these things really are handy!"
        Adrian didn't hear her. "But, how did he die? He was clearly seen choking to death. We should call the police! Where is the rest of the staff? We should speak to them to see if he had a medical condition."
        Suddenly, a woman's shouts overshadowed Adrian's inspection.
        "Hey! There's a man running out of the restaurant by the side door!" She exclaimed, she was off by the side window and pointing for everyone to see.
        "Damnit! Maybe he knows something, we have to go after him, Adrian!" Gail replied. She could feel the excitement of the chase. No wonder Sharona always went on for hours about her adventures with Mr. Monk - this was a blast!
        "She's right! Someone please call 9-1-1! Then, if you can contact Captain Stottlemeyer with the police department. Tell him that Adrian Monk thinks we may have a murder on our hands!" Adrian told the woman near the window.
        "Murder?" She cried in disbelief.
        "I'm almost 100% sure! Do you have all of that?"
        She nodded, solemnly.
        "Alright, which direction did he go?" He asked her.
        The woman gave him the directions to the side alley.
        "Adrian, he's trying to head for the docks!" Gail spoke up. "I've been down this way to see the ship festivals before. When I do, I always use the alleyway as a shortcut!"
        "Then we better get moving or we'll lose him! Thank you!"
        They ran out the restaurant, Gail immediately started to head for the car.
        "Gail, we don't have time for that! We have to follow on foot!" Adrian yelled, already starting off for the alley himself. "C'mon!"
        "But, we'll never catch him this way! We don't even know what he looks like!"
        Adrian realized she was right, they'd be chasing a ghost.
        "And, what if he has a gun?"
        A boat was nearly set to sail.
        Gail and Adrian looked at one another for only a moment and then they decided. Running off together to the principle docks, they could see passengers boarding an enormous cruise ship in the harbor.
        "He has to be boarding that ship!" Adrian said. But, then his feet turned to lead as he looked up at the huge ocean liner looming above him.
        Gail was already halfway down the pier when she noticed Adrian wasn't alongside of her.
        Turning, she walked back over to him.
        "Phobia thing?" she asked.
        He bit his lip and nodded.
        "Look! I'm not much up on these things - but, a man has just possibly murdered someone. I don't think I can sleep at nights knowing I let some creep like that get away. And, neither can you! I know it's not much consolation - but, I hate traveling by boat too!"
        He looked down at her in surprise.
        "I never learnt how to swim!" she muttered.
        "Really?" he asked.
        "Really - but, we don't have time to trade shrink stories - we have to go!"
        He agreed and she touched his sleeve for a moment.
        "Besides, I'll be with you, alright? You can be there for me!" she replied, quietly.
        Adrian smiled gently at her, the trust returning to his eyes.
        "Good! Now, let's go!" she answered.
        "Wait! We have no way of getting on board!" Adrian said, after cautiously breathing in the salty air.
        "Leave that to me!" Gail reassured, she winked at him as she marched away.
        Somehow, Adrian didn't feel good about this.

        (In the entranceway of the large Holland America cruise liner):

        Passengers were mulling about, excitedly sharing stories of their day leave in San Francisco. The ship was filling quickly. Adrian's eyes darted amongst the crowds to see if he noticed anyone suspicious. But, someone noticed him first instead, their anxious expression told it all. It was a young Italian man, who when he saw he was being watched - dove back into the crowd.
        "There he is!" Adrian shouted.
        He was ready to pursue the suspect, when a man in a staff uniform stepped into his path.
        "I'm sorry, sir. I can't let you go any further without seeing your tickets or some I.D.!"
        Adrian gritted his teeth as he looked the man up and down, trying to get a feel for him. He was a medium-height man with a lithe manner about him, as he smoothed back his thinning brown hair. His dark eyes bore a hole in Adrian as he observed the name tag adorning his lapel - Robert Gresco. He was the ship's chief steward.
        "I - uh - " Adrian stammered. He felt like a gate crasher. What could he do? 'Great! I'll end up down at the precinct trying to explain this to the captain while the murderer makes a clean get away!"
        Suddenly, a familiar voice saved him.
        "Honey, did you forget about me already?! Come on now, we've not been married for that short a time!" Gail said, and immediately joined his side. She tried to put her arm around him, he jumped away from her in shock. "Now, now - we don't have to be that shy before our wedding night!"
        The steward watched as she fought a bit with him, grabbing his arm and dragging him over to her. She firmly put her arm around his waist and gripped his belt buckle in her fingers to make sure he stayed put. Adrian's face looked strained.
        Gail giggled, acting like some sort of soap opera diva. Adrian just shot her a nasty look. He was about to protest, when Gail produced two tickets from nowhere and handed them to the steward.
        "Ah! Mr. and Mrs. Lazar! Welcome aboard!" he said, smiling brightly now at the awkward couple. "Your room is 4B on deck 4! Enjoy your stay!"
        "Thank you!" Gail answered, smoothly and without letting go of Adrian, they began to walk quickly off in the other direction. They looked like they were joined at the hip.
        "What are you doing?! How did you get tickets?" Adrian whispered, harshly in her ear. "Let me go!"
        "Shut up and keep walking! He's still watching us!" she snarled.
        They looked over their shoulder and waved, pleasantly at the steward.
        But, as soon as they turned away again, their expressions reverted back to normal. Gail brought Adrian around a corner and finally freed him.
        "What the hell is going on?" he said, grabbing the tickets. He examined them for a moment. "David and Gwen Lazar? Gail - these are first class tickets - where did you get these?! Wipe, please!"
        She smiled rather, proudly at him and then fished out a moist wipe for him. He began to clean his germ-ridden hands.
        "You know, it's really amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it!"
        "Gail!"
        "Oh alright! There was this guy with his wife out on the pier. He was flirting with me, while his wife was watching the luggage being loaded. Well, as the old softie was pawing my ass, I was pawing his tickets," she replied.
        Adrian looked at her, incredulously.
        "You stole his tickets?!"
        "Well, it's not technically stealing - more like borrowing. We're on the ship, aren't we?!"
        "Yes, I suppose so! Thank you," he replied, begrudgingly.
        "You're welcome. Now, did you see the guy? Where did he go?" She asked.
        He looked around him for a moment. "I don't know, he saw me - but, then he ran into the crowd. We have to find him!"
"...And get off this ship!" Gail finished.
"Exactly!" Adrian quipped.
"Because a trip with us together would be like sailing aboard the Titanic!"
"Or the Poseidon Adventure..." he said.
"Well, anyhow, stick close - we can't afford to lose track of one another!  Let's try this way first!" he answered.
Gail just followed him without question as he wandered towards the west hallway.

(Fifteen minutes later):

"This is crazy!  He could be anywhere!" Adrian complained as they stood up high on the main deck.  People started playing shuffleboard near by.  Some man cheered him with a margarita as they walked past.
Gail was just soaking it all in, in amazement.
"It's just incredible!  I can't believe this place!  It's like a floating palace.  Look at the food!  Look at the hunky guys!  I should have been a cruise director - I missed my calling!"
"At least all the convents can breathe easier tonight!" he commented as she walked beside him.
"Funny, funny!  Oh, damn - it's him again!" Gail exclaimed and edged closer to Adrian.
"Who?  The killer?!" Adrian asked, looking to see what she saw.
"No!  That pesky ship steward!  He's always staring - gives me the creeps.  Hold my hand!"
Adrian just shook his head, vehemently.
"Adrian, take my hand!  We're supposed to be married here!"
He rolled his eyes and bit his lip.  Hesitantly, he reached out and took her tiny hand in his.  They walked along awkwardly together.
"Isn't he going to figure it out when he sees you aren't wearing a wedding ring like mine?" he questioned, as he dug his nails into the palm of her hand.  She could feel his hand trembling.
"Oww!  Do you think you could release your death grip just a little?!  Thank you!  I could say I'm an independent woman and don't wear one.  Oh!  Hang on - I still have that engagement band Hal Meyers gave me!"
She started for her purse, when Adrian stopped her.  "Not here!  Not here!  Wait till we're out of view!"
She put her purse away.  He looked down at his petite, would-be blonde wife standing beside him.  "You were engaged?"
"Yeah - was!  But, some things weren't meant to be - like Hal's career!"
She laughed at her own little comment.
"I suppose you're going to tell me you were strictly marrying him for his money?" he asked.
She looked up at him, her face just dropped.  "I loved the guy - he didn't love me.  I guess you don't expect that of me, huh?"
"I never said that!" he replied, softly.  "I'm sorry!"
She just shrugged it off, but glanced away a bit in bitterness.
"Doesn't matter anyhow.  Water under the bridge."
He slowed a bit as they walked together, his touch considerably softened as he held her hand a bit more securely in his.
"Probably it still hurts though, doesn't it?" he whispered.
"Sometimes - especially when I see Sharona with Benjy.  I'm older than her, you know.  She's had a kid already and I haven't..."
"You'll have the chance someday, Gail.  You just haven't found the right guy," he replied.
She grinned up at him, warmly.
"'Course I have, that's why I married you!" she teased.  He smiled in response.  "Oh say, he's gone.  Let me get the ring!"
She sat down on a bench near the railing on the deck, Adrian sat beside her.
As she brought out the small, beautifully encrusted diamond in white gold from her purse, her hands started to tremble.
"This thing still has its power!" she joked, giggling nervously.  "Can you put it on for me?!"
He took the ring from her.  She held out her hand in front of him and tenderly he fitted it on her fourth finger.
"Has it been a long time since you've done that?" she whispered, gazing up into his face.
There were tears in his dark chocolate eyes.  He just grinned and nodded.
"Well, I guess its official!" she replied.  "Wait till I tell Sharona!"
Adrian looked at her in horror.
"Joke!  Got ya'!"
They laughed together - but, Adrian's sounded rather paranoid.
"Want a wipe?" she asked.
"It's OK!" he whispered.
She blushed a bit at his gesture.
"Now, you may kiss your bonny, little betrothed!" came a man's voice to interrupt their peaceful moment, it sounded like British.
Sure enough it was, as they turned to the voice to see a tall man in his mid-40s looming over them.  He had a long, boyishly handsome face with sandy brown hair, a large hapless smile and blue eyes to match.  His face was almost comical as he reached over to embrace a lady standing at his left, no doubt his wife.
She was petite like Gail with lovely features framed by her long, wavy ebony hair.  Her eyes were a toasty brown.  She had bone structure to die for and a welcoming smile.
"Right ho, the name's Dylan Thomason and this beautiful, little elf on my arm is my lady Maggie Thomason!  You must be the new recruits in these part - well by devil's blue, I'll make right of that little troublesome problem - how about we all have dinner in the main lobby!  How's eightish?"
Adrian sat there flabbergasted; he'd never in all of his life heard anyone talk in such a manner.
Gail, on the other hand, was beaming - she was fascinated immediately by the accent.
"Ohhh - sounds like great fun!  Count me in!" she replied.
But, Adrian poked her sharply in the side to reprimand her.
"I'm sorry; my husband gets a little carried away.  We just met, after all.  I'm Maggie Thomason and you are?"
Maggie held out her hand to Adrian, of course he didn't immediately reach for it.  Now it was Gail's turn to poke Adrian.
"Umm - hello!" he said, taking Maggie's hand in his and shaking it slowly.  "I'm Adrian - I mean David!  David Lazar!  David, my middle name is Adrian - I sometimes call myself that.  But, most times it's just David..."
Gail poked him once more before he prattled on.  Maggie released his hand.  Adrian started gesturing to Gail that he wanted something from her.  She looked at him in confusion, before she understood what he needed.
"What?!  Oh yeah, just one minute - coming right up!  He's lost without me!" she giggled as she reached in her purse for some wipes.  "He's new to this planet!"
Adrian made a face as he snatched the wipe from her hand.  "Thank you!"
Dylan laughed at Gail's little slight.  "Oh, you bally well are - I noticed the antennas right away!  Hello!  Are you sick?"
Adrian looked up to explain.
"Most definitely!" Gail confirmed, grinning.
"I'm sure it's contagious!" snarled Adrian, glaring hard at her.
"What?!" cried Dylan, shielding Maggie in his arms.
"Oh no - I'm sorry.  I'm not really.  It's just an inside joke between me - and - my wife Gwen!" he replied, straining on the phrase.
"How long have you two been married?" Maggie asked, now visibly relieved.  "I thought you were just getting engaged by the looks of it a few minutes ago!"
"Oh that?" Gail scoffed, laughing good-naturedly.  She threw her hands up in the air like it was nothing.  "I simply misplaced my ring, so my darling dear popped over to San Fran to buy me another pretty bobble!"
Adrian gave Gail a look that suggested she was suddenly on hallucinogens.
"But, David here tells the story better than I do - don't you, my love?" Gail teased, reaching behind him.  When she pinched his butt, Adrian screamed and dropped his wipe on the deck.
He opened his mouth to tell her off, when suddenly the ship moved.
"What's going on?!" Gail cried, terror appearing in her dark amber eyes.  She reached to steady herself on a nearby lounge chair.
Adrian's own eyes grew wide with the stark realization - they were departing from port!
"Oh, we're going now!  How wonderful!  Well, we really must be off - it's been a pleasure.  I'm sure we'll meet again!  Ta ta!" Dylan announced.  Maggie waved and said goodbye to them as her husband put his arm around her, they wandered off together.
"Oh my God, Adrian!  The ship!  It's leaving!" she screamed to him.
Instinctively, Adrian ran over to the port side to see what was happening, forgetting his fears for a moment.  But, they were instantly brought back as soon as he saw how high up they really were.  Feeling his head spin, he grabbed for the railing as he felt his knees start to give out somewhat.
"Adrian!!" Gail cried, as she saw him nearly collapse.  Running to his side, she scooped him up in her arms, as she tried to help him stand.  "Here!  Sit down!"
Yet, Adrian valiantly stood up, realizing they had no more time to spare.  "Gail!  We have to go!  I'm fine!"
"No, you're not fine!  I'll go get someone to help us!  You stay here!"
"Gail!  Wait!" he pleaded, trying to reach for her arm.  "If you go now, we may never find one another again!  I'm coming with you!"
"OK!  But lean on me, alright?"
He nodded as she tucked her head under his arm which she slung around her neck.  Taking his hand, she pulled him to his feet.   They appeared by all estimations to those around them to be acting like the ship was about to sink, as they ran up along the deck together.
The cruise liner horn blew.  It was too late, they were already setting sail.
"Oh God!" Gail cried, as she stopped moving.
"No!!" breathed Adrian and closed his eyes as he rolled his back in defeat.

(Half an hour later):

Adrian wasn't fairing well at all at sea.  As the waves lapped at the side of the ship.  He never realized he had sea sickness before - of course, he'd never been on a boat before either.  His stomach churned as leaning over the side, he threw up into the water below.
"Poor you!" Gail chanted, stroking his back.
"Gail, please - don't touch me!  The rhythm is like the water - moving - I -"
He threw up some more of his breakfast - it was a good thing he hadn't had any lunch on top of it.
"Sorry.  Say, we should see if we can at least find our room.  It will do you some good to lie down for a bit until your stomach settles.  Besides, I'd like to get freshened up!"
He looked over at her; his haggard face seemed to appear as if he'd contracted malaria.  His eyes were bloodshot and his normally olive skin seemed pasty in nature.  He was also sweating profusely.
"Gail, we're not staying!" he hissed.
"Well I have news for you, honey buns, it's not like we have a choice in the matter!" she answered him.  She rested her elbows on the railing and stood beside him.  "We're just going to have to make the best of it.  We'll just get off at the next port of call.  I have no idea what that is - but, you have to see it like an adventure!  I'm having the most fun I've had in a long time!  That is - except for you puking your brains out!"
"Fun?!" he cried, looking at her like she was barking mad.  "The suspect is only one of a million people on board - we have about as much chance of finding him as a needle in a haystack!  Meanwhile, there is a dead body of a maitre'd sprawled out on the floor of Luciano's restaurant back on the mainland.  We don't even know if the captain has been contacted..."
"Adrian, hold on!  I just thought of something!  Remember when we got on board this morning?" she asked excitedly.
"Remember?  I'm still trying to forget!" he mumbled.
"No, no - I'm serious here!"
Now, he turned to gaze at her more intently.
"The ship's steward - he asked for everyone's tickets!  That man couldn't have got on if he didn't have one!  Which means -"
His interest was piqued as he looked at her in surprise.  "They have a record somewhere of who he is!"
"Exactly!!" she exclaimed.  There was such a sense of accomplishment in one little observation - and Gail knew it.
"You're brilliant!" Adrian said, grinning down at Gail.
"I know, I'm picking up on this thing!  This is so cool!" she answered, clicking her fingers in amusement.
"We've got to see the guest roster!" he replied, though as soon as he moved he could feel his legs shaking.
"You're in no shape to be doing anything!  Why don't you let me go find out for you?"
Having not many options at present, he nodded without complaint.
"Good.  Let's go to the room first!  We've got time - I don't think the suspect will be swimming to shore!" Gail replied, taking his arm.  "And, I'll phone Sharona!"
Briefly, in Adrian's head, he could see the killer swimming away from Alcatraz Prison to the shores of Old Fisherman's Wharf, as he shut his eyes more - stumbling along with tiny Gail's support - he could see his own face instead of the killer's.  But, he then shrugged it off.

(The state room of David and Gwen Lazar, 4B):

Gail used a pass card that came with the tickets to open the door.  She helped Adrian a bit, but he seemed to be fairing better - looking decidedly less green than he was a few minutes ago.
As she stepped into the room, she was astounded by its size, it was enormous.  And, seemed to speak of opulence as well as taste.
"Oh my God - would you look at this room!!  We hit pay dirt, Adrian!  It's nearly the size of my freakin' apartment!  The Lazars must be loaded!"  Gail cried, as Adrian settled down gratefully in a chair near the doorway.  That was all he needed.
It was then that Adrian noticed a more important feature of the room - a sumptuous king-sized bed near the bathrooms.  Correction - one king-sized bed.
Gail noticed the distressed look passing over his face.
"What's wrong?  You don't like the room?  Wrong size, shape, feng-shui a little off?"
"There's only one bed!" he whined, and pointed at it, tentatively.
"Oh, don't worry - I'm small, I don't take up much room and I'm not a blanket hogger!" she said, nonchalantly.
"We're not - sleeping together!" he snarled, the anger returning to his face.
"You were married for six years, Adrian - you can't tell me you've never shared a bed?"
"Of course I have!  Just not with you!" he answered, giving her a critical eye.
"Fine!  Well there's a sofa in the other room - use that!" she replied, and knew full well he would refuse it.
"I'm not sleeping in a chair!"
He glared at her.
"Well, don't look at me that way!  I'm not sleeping on some couch either!" she hissed, and placed her purse on the side board near the cabin door.  Then, she took a running jump, bouncing on the bed in obvious pleasure.  "Ohh - this is fabulous.  Come on, come try it out!  Lie down here beside me!  I don't bite!"
Adrian shook his head, vehemently.
"Maybe I can book a separate room!" he muttered, nervously.
Gail sat up, gazing over at him.
"Oh that will look cute!  Might I remind you, we're supposed to be married while we're here!  You can't book another room - that's just silly!  Here!"
She slid across the bed and stood up, walking over to him. He cowered back in the chair somewhat as she approached him.
"Will you please relax!  Trust me!" she said, and reached down for his elbow, helping him out of the chair.  He pulled it back from her.  "We're going to do a trial run - practice a bit!"
"I beg your pardon?  What do you mean - 'practice'?" he asked.  His eyes full of fear as he questioned her motives.
"I'm trying to do my best here to be patient.  Give me a break, alright?!  Just at least sit on the edge of the bed for a minute!"

He lowered himself slowly down, but then stood right back up again.  Then he sat down once more.
Gail covered her eyes in exasperation.
"You are such a -!" she hissed, but let it go.  "Alright, I'm sorry..."
His eyes looked up at her, beseeching her for compassion.  She knelt down in front of him and placed her hands softly on the bed on either side of him.
"Listen, I'm not a nurse like Sharona, I don't pretend to be.  I mean, I always thought she used a clicker when you did something wrong!"
She laughed, he did not.
"Well, anyhow - I want you to relax, lay back and see if you can take a little nap for a bit.  It will do you some good.  Do you want some Gravol or Dramamine or something?"
"No, I'm OK," he mumbled.  But, his manner became decidedly calmer as she continued to talk to him.
"OK, well I'll just rest near you for a bit until you're asleep, then I'll go find the roster and give Sharona a shout.  How's that?"
He grinned at her, she could be alright sometimes.
"You're not such a bad nurse," he replied.
"Thanks!" she replied.
She went over and got comfy amongst the pillows.  She was about to hand him one, but noticed he wasn't getting up to move beside her. 
Instead, he stayed at the end of the bed, not removing his jacket or anything.  He tried to get comfortable, hating to ask for anything.  He looked a bit ridiculous as he closed his eyes.
Shaking her head, she got up and walked around the bed to where he was, kneeling down low before him.  She began to quietly untie his shoes.
"What are you doing?" he asked, as he sat up in alarm.
"I'm being the fussy one for a change.  I'll worry for you so you won't have to!" she answered. 
Then, she heard him laugh.
She grinned up at him as she carefully removed his polished, patent leather shoes.  Getting up, she urged him to take off his jacket, helping him a bit with the sleeves - she fully expected him to protest her intervention - but, was surprised to find he seemed to welcome it.  She folded the jacket once it was removed meticulously on the bed as she'd seen him do so many times.  Taking his shoes, she lined them up by his feet.  He looked down at her and was tickled about her sudden attentiveness.
Gail wasn't persistent, instead of asking him to move up the bed, she gathered a spare blanket and pillow.  She handed them down to him.
"Thank you, Gail!" he whispered as at last he was comfortable.
"You're welcome - baby cakes!" she responded, quietly. 
She went back to her spot at the top of the bed, lying above the blankets and kicking off her sandals.  As she curled her cheek into the pillow, she silently watched him fall asleep. 
"What am I going to do with you?" she whispered.
Soon, she slipped off into a sound sleep herself.

(An hour or so later in their room):

Gail wasn't sure what time it was when she awoke.  She sat up, groggily on the bed - forgetting momentarily where she was.  But, as she noticed Adrian fast asleep near her feet - she remembered.
Wiping her eyes a bit, she stretched leisurely with her arms above her head.  She glanced down at him and grinned.
"Finally, peace and quiet!" she said, softly.  Curiosity got the better of her, so she crawled down the length of the bed and lay down next to him.
Fascinated a bit now that he was unaware of her presence, and a little more than interested - she watched him breathe.
"You know, you're really half-way decent looking like this - it's too bad you drive me crazy.  But, you are starting to grow on me!" she whispered, more to herself than him as he couldn't really hear her - somehow it was easier like this.  "Don't let that go to your head!"
She tried to touch him, but decided not to disturb him.  But, at the last moment she stopped herself from drawing away.  Ever so gently, she leaned over and kissed his forehead.  The wisps of her long, blonde hair brushed against the plum of his cheek.  Then, she got out of bed, gathered her purse and left the room.
The sound of the door was heard locking behind her.
Adrian opened his eyes now as he felt his forehead and smiled.  "Thanks, sweet buns!"

(An hour and a half later):

When Gail returned to her room, she saw that Adrian was already up and puttering around.  He was dusting with a handkerchief any little bit of stray dirt he could come across in the modest, sparkling living room.
"Hey, Adrian!  You know, they have maids for that!" she commented, as she jangled her keys to grab his attention.  She shut the door.  "I've had some success!"
Adrian spun around at her words, his eyes lit up.  "You found him?"
"What?  You had some doubt?  Of course I did!"
"I never doubted you!" he answered, but the sarcasm was clear in his voice.
He joined her by the door.
"Sure, sure!  I wrote down his name," she replied.  Retrieving a piece of paper from her pocket, he looked over her shoulder as she read it to him.  "Michelangelo Moreno - I think they call him Mike - he works in the galley!  He's a waiter - fancy that!  See it's his ticket on the ship.  He comes and goes as he pleases!"
"I don't suppose he's working in the restaurant today?" Adrian asked, more to himself than to Gail, but she picked up on it.
"Checked that already!" she replied - Adrian looked amazed at her thoroughness.  "He's still on board the ship but no one has spoken to him all day, except a casual hello when he got on."
"Does he have a cabin?" he questioned.
"Yes, deck two; he shares it with a fellow named Harry Preston.  I talked to him for a bit, but he hasn't spoken to Mike since last week.  He didn't even know he's boarded!" Gail replied.
"That's odd!"
"I know, I think all we can hope is that he'll show up sooner or later.  I just hope he's not my waiter tonight for dinner!"
"We can't wait on this!  We have to find him before he disembarks!" Adrian said, as he searched around.
"Little chance of that!  What are you looking for?" she asked.  "Wipes again?"
"Why would I need wipes, Gail?!" he said, glaring at her for a moment.
"Who knows why you do what you do!" she snarled in return.
"I'm looking for the - wait!  Why did you say 'little chance of that!'?" he asked and stood still for a moment.
"Because we're going to South America!!" she cheered, trying to fake some enthusiasm, her arms up in the air.
He didn't match it.
"What??!" he screamed.  His eyes were frantic now.  Starting to fidget, uncomfortably, he fell down into the couch and buried his head in his hands.  "I have to get out of here!"
Without saying anything more or even looking at Gail, he breezed past her and out the cabin door.
"Adrian!  Wait!  You'll need the key!" she yelled after him.  "Or at least a life vest!"
Just then, the ship hit a small squall and it swayed to compensate - tossing hard to the right, as Adrian ran to toss the remainder of his breakfast over the side of the ship.
"Damn!  So much for my appetite!" Gail muttered and then thought of something.  "Oh yeah, that reminds me - I've got to call Sharona!"
Sitting down on an ornate Elizabethan-style chair in the living room, she managed to find her cell phone at the bottom of her purse.  She dialled her apartment, hoping Sharona was back from her date with Jack.
"Hello?" came a familiar voice.  Sharona's voice.  Gail had never been so happy to hear her sister before.
"Oh, Sharona!  Oh thank God!  I - umm - so how was your date?" she asked, biting her nail a bit in anxiety.
"Gail!  Where are you?  Where's Adrian?  What have you done with him?  I picked up Benjy on the way home and find your place deserted!  What's going on?" cried her sister into the phone.
"Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Don't go slinging accusations at me, missy - what did you think I did?  Murder him?" she asked, laughing hysterically.
Suddenly, the sounds of Adrian puking his brains out where loudly heard.
"What's that?  Was that Adrian?!  Gail?" Sharona screamed, there was obvious fear in her voice now.
"Umm - it's a really funny story.  I went out with Adrian for lunch..." Gail hesitantly explained, when Sharona interrupted her.
"On a date?  You?  On a date - with Adrian?!"
"What?  You don't think I can go on dates anymore?  You think I'm too old?" Gail barked, as she stomped her foot angrily on the rug.
"No, no - of course not!  It's just I never knew you were interested in Mr. Monk!"
"Yeah, well, today has been full of surprises!" Gail answered.
Adrian puked loudly again.
"Oh - did I tell you - we're on a boat?" Gail mumbled.
"A boat?  What do you mean on a boat?" she cried in reply.
"Boat!  What are you - hard of hearing?  B-O-A-T!"
"Gail!  I got that!  But, Adrian doesn't like boats!" Sharona said, anxiously.
'No kidding!' Gail thought.
"Look!  If you were stupid enough to take him - you can hear what it's doing to him!" Sharona said.  "Oh God!  I'm going to lose my job over this!"
"No, you won't!  He's doing OK - he's been throwing up less and less - so I think he's handling it better!  Besides, I think it's the heights not the motion sickness stuff!"
Sharona was getting more and more exasperated.
"OK, I tell you what I'm going to do - I'll go over to where the ferry stops in Oakland and pick you both up!"
"I don't think Holland America stops in Oakland!" Gail grumbled. She bit her nails straight down to the quick.
"Oh my Gawd!!  Gail!  You're on a cruise ship?  Have you lost your mind?!"
"Well, actually - it was his idea, when we followed the murderer on board!" Gail explained.  She was just getting in deeper and deeper.
"What?  Wait - what murderer?  What are you talking about?" Sharona cried.
"Didn't Captain Stottlemeyer talk to you?  Do I have to explain everything around here?"
"You're solving a murder with Adrian?" Sharona asked.
"Oh!  You heard that!  Yeah, a real murder mystery!  Can you believe it?" Gail said and smiled proudly at the fact.
"No!" Sharona answered, weakly.
"What do you mean 'no'?!  Well, that's just because you're jealous!  Anyhoozle, I have to go - say hi to baby peas for me!  Adrian and I will be in Rio tomorrow!" Gail explained when she heard Sharona scream over the phone once more, this time she wouldn't let her interrupt - she kept on talking.  "Have to go help the defective detective!  Oh and if you try to reach us - remember to ask for David and Gwen Lazar!  Loves ya - bye bye!"
She stroked the back of her cell for a moment with her nail, what was left of it.
"Well, that went well!"

(Back at Gail's apartment in San Francisco):

Sharona sat with her hand over her mouth to silence a scream of horror.  Her amethyst eyes stared blankly ahead into space.
Benjy came into the dining room to see his mother's distressed look.
"Mom?  What's wrong?"
"It's Aunt Gail!" Sharona answered, it was all she could say.
"Oh no, she didn't have an accident, did she?  Mom?" he cried, he could feel his heart racing.
"No - she's - she's on a cruise ship with Mr. Monk bound for South America!" Sharona replied, it felt weird the moment she said it.
Benjy's eyes got as big as saucers.  He broke into a large grin.  "Aunt Gail and Mr.  Monk?  Together?  On a ship?"
Suddenly, he began to break down into laughter.
"Benjy, it's not funny!  This is very serious here!" Sharona said, looking wounded.
But, Benjy wouldn't stop and soon Sharona found she couldn't help herself and soon was wailing with laughter too.  They both kept it up until their sides hurt.
"OK!  Enough, enough!  I -"
But, she started again.
"Mom!  Mom, do you know what this means?  You have a day off!  You always said you wanted one! "Benjy stated, grabbing his mom's arm.  "It may even be a week!"
Sharona could scarcely believe it.
"Oh my gawd - you're right.  I have the whole day free!  I could go shopping!"
Running from the room, unable to contain her enthusiasm, she snatched up her jacket.
"Benjy, you comin'?" she asked, peering around the corner.
"Yes!!" Benjy chanted, pumping his fist in joy - he ran after his mom.

(Back on the ocean liner, it's about 5:00PM):

Gail decided dinner was in order since she still hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast.
Adrian agreed to go with her after she convinced him that if he got something in his stomach he might be less inclined to feel nauseous.
They went down to the main deck where the promenade was and found they were already setting up for supper.  A huge buffet table lined the centre of the dining room with an array of every imaginable delicacy.
Adrian wasn't paying attention as the food nearly turned his stomach - particularly the raw oysters that still seemed to wiggle on the steel platter.  Instead, he trained his eyes for the illusive waiter, Mike Moreno.
"Well!  If it isn't my favourite couple!" someone said.  The voice was unmistakable.
Adrian and Gail turned to the cheery face of Dylan Thomason.  Maggie was a distance away talking to a tall, formerly-dressed gentleman with a dour face.
"David and Gwen, right?" he asked.
"Hi there, handsome!" Gail answered, all bubbly and touched Dylan's arm.  "How are you doing?  Having a great time like us?  Come over here, honey - it's Dylan!"
Gail looked up at Adrian who realized she meant him; he gave Dylan a forced smile and a tiny wave.  He hardly moved otherwise.  She rolled her eyes.
"That's my husband - Mr. Personality!" Gail snarled.
"Just what have you two been up to, Gwen?  The poor chap seems barely able to move!"
Gail laughed aloud at his joke.  "Well, you know how it is - newlyweds!"
"Oh God!" Adrian lamented.
"What don't we do is the better question!  He's even bought these gravity boots, that if you get it in just the right position�" Gail began to explain.
Adrian was squirming in humiliation.
"Gail!" he shouted.
"Gwen!" she reminded him.
"Gwen!" he echoed.  "I don't think Dylan needs to hear about our - sex - life!"
He closed his eyes as he shuddered at the thought.  Gail was simply snickering to herself.
"You really are Mr. Personality, aren't you?" Dylan answered.
"Say, do you like cats?" Gail suddenly asked, as she started filling a spare plate with cantaloupe and salad.
"Cats?" Dylan asked as he followed her down the line, scooping up some beef stroganoff.  Adrian did likewise, deciding to try something too - the aroma coaxing him.
"Yeah!  I have a great pussy!  You pet it and I purr!"  Gail answered.
Dylan laughed aloud as did Gail.  Adrian looked appalled.
"Gail!" he shouted.
"Gwen!!" Dylan reprimanded.  "I say, was this some sort of quickie marriage?  You can't even remember her name, good heavens!"
"The way we've been banging the old headboard - I'm surprised it wasn't!" Gail joked.
Adrian had had enough, reaching for a grape from off his own plate, he chucked it at Gail.  Instead of his intended target, it went flying halfway across the room and landed without effort right in a shapely glass held by the dour man to the right.
Adrian looked visibly embarrassed.
"Oh, good shot, David!  But, I like olives in my martinis, not grapes.  Giles!  Come here for a moment, would you, I must make introductions!"
The tall man approached them with Maggie shadowing him.  He was dressed in inappropriate formal attire - almost like he was a -
"This is my man, Giles!" Dylan announced, confirming it.  "Giles. I'd like you to meet David and Gwen Lazar; they will be travelling with us!"
Adrian was relieved to know that the valet's standards were high and did not offer his hand in greeting.  He, instead, nodded solemnly Maggie went to Dylan's side.
"Sir!  Madam!  It's indeed an honour to make your acquaintance.  Here is your martini, sir - on the rocks as you requested!"
He handed Dylan the glass with the pale liquid and the floating grape.
"So tell me, David - you did not bring your valet with you?  What a frighteningly awful thought!" Dylan commented, looking down at Adrian.
Gail too looked at Adrian, curling her lip, she whispered - "That grape - it has my name on it, doesn't it?!"
Adrian ignored her.  "Umm - I'm having it out being polished!"
Adrian, in truth, had only heard half of Dylan's original question as Gail had spoken over him.
Dylan laughed at the response.
"That's very good of you, sir.  I might say I'm a bit overdue for my monthly 'polishing'!" Giles replied.  What was amazing was there was no malice whatsoever in his voice.
"Oh!  No, I don't mean I polish my butler - I -"Adrian fumbled for the right words.
"It's alright, sir, no need to apologize.  The miscommunication not withstanding, the sparkling attire of any good valet is a most desired asset!"
The words were like butter on Giles' tongue; Adrian had little doubt that he didn't miss much.  Possibly talking his way out of any situation.
"Thank you, Giles!" Adrian replied.
"You're welcome, sir!"
"Giles, would you be so good as to pop down to the kitchen and see if they couldn't whip us up a souffl� with a candle in it?" Dylan suddenly asked.
Gail looked at him while she munched on her cantaloupe.
"Oh, is it Maggie's birthday?" she asked.
Maggie laughed.  "No, actually it's our dog, Fitzroy's!  Dylan likes to celebrate it no matter where we are!"
Adrian looked away and rolled his eyes.  Then, he stopped for a moment and gazed up at the towering butler to his right.
"Giles, you are going down to the kitchen?  Would you mind if we tagged along?" Adrian questioned.
"Not at all, sir!" he answered.
"Me too!" Gail said, not about to lose Adrian.  "But, I'm bringing my plate with me, I'm starving!"
"Leaving us so soon?  Ah well, safe journey, bon voyage and all that rot!" Dylan cheered.
As Gail turned to blow him pretend kisses, Adrian did something out of character - he grabbed her hand to make sure she came along with them.

(In the bottom of the ship, the hall that led to the galley):

Giles had a masterful step, as Adrian and Gail did their best to keep up with him. 
"Sir, may I make a small query of you, if I might?" Giles asked Adrian.
He almost seemed overly ostentatious.
"Sure!"
"May I ask for your name again?"
"David - David Lazar!" Adrian replied.
"No, sir - your genuine name!" Giles said, his tone deeper and more meaningful.
Gail stopped and looked at Adrian who stood next to her.  Giles looked back at them, totally unflappable.
"Adrian Monk!" he answered.
"Adrian!!" Gail admonished.
"It's quite alright, Madame - I recognized this gentleman from the nightly newscasts in San Francisco!" Giles explained.  "It's good to finally meet you, Mr. Monk!"
"Well, in that case - my name is Gail Fleming," Gail said, feeling like herself again.
"It's a pleasure Madame.  Is Mr. Moreno in trouble again?" Giles asked.
Giles started walking along once more and they followed him.
"You know of Mr. Moreno?" Adrian asked, he thought it strange that he picked up on the exact situation so fast.
"Wow!  Are you psychic?" Gail asked, enthralled by this mysterious stranger.
"Not at all, Ms. Fleming.  Mr. Moreno is often the ongoing source of encounters with the law.  I know this only too personally."
He didn't seem to want to say more, so Adrian persuaded him a little.
"What sort of trouble?"
"Breaking and entering, petty theft, unlawful confinement... all stemming from an alleged theft of a Picasso at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art."
"I remember that!" Gail stated.  "But, wasn't there two men involved?"
"Yes.  Mr. Moreno and a Mr. Richard Tolkin.  He is the head waiter at Luciano's Restaurant by the pier!" Giles replied.
"The waiter - that must have been the guy that died from choking earlier today!" Gail exclaimed.
"Mr. Tolkin is dead?" Giles asked, suddenly stopping.  He looked pale.
"Murdered and I think by Mr. Moreno himself!" Adrian answered.  "How do you know him?"
"I don't believe I'm at liberty to divulge, sir!" he replied, abruptly clamming up.
"Please, Giles - we're really at a loss here," Adrian replied.  "Any help you can give us would be welcome�"
Giles stood in the hallway, staring down at the somewhat diminutive pair and finally spoke.
"We were intimately involved for duration of about seven years when he separated from me to pursue other interests - namely Mr. Tolkin!" Giles finally confessed.
"Is that when he started stealing?" Gail asked, patting his arm in sympathy.
"Mr. Tolkin did illicit a bad influence upon him.  I did my best to be Mr. Moreno's safety net, if you will - but, it did little good!"
Giles sighed, loudly and looked away.
"Do you still love him?" Gail whispered.  Giles looked at his feet.
"Gail!" grumbled Adrian.  "Giles, do you know where Mr. Moreno is?  Can we speak to him?"
"To answer both of your questions - I wish I knew, Mr. Monk, for I'd like to see him as well and confess my faith in his innocence.  For he has neither the fortitude nor the courage to pull off this dastardly a thing as the crime of murder.
Secondly, do I love him?  Unfortunately, I must confess, Ms. Fleming - that I do!"
"Well, if you do see him - please, tell him we wish to speak to him!" Adrian said, starting to walk away.
"And, please Giles - we're Gwen and David to everyone else!" Gail replied, nervously.
"Understood!" Giles answered.
"Thank you!" Adrian said and they left him.

(It was close to 11PM when Adrian and Gail decided to turn in for the night):

They had spent the remainder of their evening after their chat with Giles on the search for Mr. Moreno without success.  It was as if he'd gone for that long swim after all.
"I don't understand it!  He couldn't have just vanished into thin air!" Adrian commented as he followed Gail into the cabin.
"Adrian, right now I'm too tired to give a sweet rat's pattooie!  I just want to go to bed.  We stop over in Rio tomorrow, maybe he'll try to get off and we'll capture him!" she replied, yawning slightly.
"Yeah, perhaps," he grumbled, his doubts kept needling him - he had so little to go on.  But, as he was still sifting through the words Giles told him, Gail interrupted his train of thought.
"So which side do you want?  I prefer the right!" she said, not looking at him as she dropped her purse to the floor.  She proceeded to undo the button on her blouse in front of him.
Adrian took one look at her and made a direct line for the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
"Guess it doesn't matter!" she muttered.  She removed her blouse and lifted her T-shirt up over her head so all she was left wearing was her ivory bra and faded blue jeans.  "I hope Mrs. Lazar is the same size.  She looked like she sort of was..."
She saw the armoire for the clothes near the bathroom door, and opened it to see what was inside.
"Oh wow!" she screamed.  "Adrian, look at this!"
"I'd rather not.  Thank you," he muttered through the closed door.
"Adrian, come on!  You've got to see this!" Gail insisted, reaching over to knock on the door.
Finally, he relented and came out for a peek - only to get an eyeful of Gail instead.  Her cleavage front and center as soon as he stepped out.
"Ahhh!  Gail would you please put on some clothes!!" he cried, covering his eyes.
She looked at him in disbelief.  "I have clothes on, Adrian - what are you talking about?!"
With that, she reached for the tiny clasp between her breasts and let her bra fall to the floor.
"There!  Now I need clothes!" she pronounced as Adrian looked down at her exposed breasts for a moment before fleeing back into the bathroom soundly locking the door.
"Hopeless!" Gail grumbled, angrily to herself.  She lifted both breasts up in the palms of her hands.  "He didn't mean it, I'm sure he loves the both of you!  Adrian, you hurt their feelings!"
"Gail, shut up and put something on!" Adrian shouted back from the safety of the washroom.
"Well, now that's just rude!  They said they may never come out to play with you again.  They're shy - sort of like your special friend, I'm sure!" Gail yelled back, snickering to herself.
All that Adrian did in way of reply was to flush the toilet.
"Fine!" she snarled, and stuck her head in the armoire.
It was filled from top to bottom with every known original creation by the world's best known designers.  Oscar nominees would weep in envy if they saw it.  And, the shoes would make Imelda Marcos fight you for them.  The armoire could barely contain it all.  Gail was in heaven as she checked the one next to it, it was filled with elegant men's attire.  That too, was impressive.
"This is just amazing!' she chanted and picked a lovely peignoir to try on.

(About twenty minutes later):

Adrian finally re-emerged from the bathroom, Gail glanced up at him from a novel she'd found to read.  She was already under the blankets and happily situated in bed.
"Oh well, if it isn't the Invisible Man!  Ready for bed?" she asked, laying down her book on the night table near her.
He looked nervous, and then it dawned on Gail - he was still in his day clothes, jacket and all.
"Adrian, why don't you take off your suit of armour and stay for awhile!" she said, shaking her head - just what had he been doing in there?  She didn't want to know.
"No, I'm fine.  Thanks!"
He just stood there in the middle of the room.
"Do you sleep standing up?" she asked, growing frustrated.  "Adrian, I'm tired - come to bed!"
"Umm - maybe I will sleep on the couch - where everyone else has been sitting - maybe not!"
"What's wrong with the bed?  Is it me?  Look, all I want to do is sleep - I won't bug you, I promise!" Gail replied, trying desperately to put his mind at ease.
"OK!" he said, hesitantly.
"Good!" answered Gail, breathing a sigh of relief.
But, when she noticed Adrian laying down as he'd done previously at the end of the bed, Gail was about ready to spit.
'Oh!  You've got to be kidding!!' she thought to herself.
"Honey buns, you're not a cat - you don't have to sleep there!" she whispered.
He rustled around a bit and closed his eyes.  "I'm quite comfortable here - all I need is a pillow!"
"No, you want a pillow - you have to come up here for it!" she snarled and returned to her book.
"Thanks so much!" he hissed.
Then, she watched him actually concentrate on sleeping, his brows furrowed down over the bridge of his nose.
She threw down her book on the coverlet.
"For God sakes, at least take off your coat!" she said, angrily.
"I thought you weren't going to bug me?" he replied, glancing up at her.
"That only applies if you're actually in the bed!" she replied.
She began to kick at him from under the covers, but he wouldn't budge.
With that, she crawled out from under her blankets and made her way over to where he was lying.
She had on a white, stretch lace teddy that was very see-through with a little frilly skirt around the hem.  Her curvaceous breasts rounded out the design quite nicely and her nipples bouncing were very apparent as she moved.
Adrian covered his eyes with his hand in embarrassment.  Though she looked stunning, it was a nightmare.  Stuck in a room alone with Sharona's sister!  And, her half naked! 
"What?  You don't like this?" she asked.
He wouldn't look or respond.
"That cuts it!" she declared.
Grabbing for his jacket while he laid there unaware of her actions, she began to try to wrestle him out of it.
He looked at her suddenly, trying to fight her off.  Pushing her over on the bed, he found he was unsuccessful as she turned around and went for him again.
"I'm not sleeping in the bed with you, Gail!!" he yelled, defensively as he tried to pry her hands free from his lapel.  "Now, I see why you don't have many dates!!"
"I'm going to get you in bed with me one way or the other!!"
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Mr. and Mrs. Lazar?" a young man's voice called out.
Jumping away from each other, they ran to opposite sides of the bed and climbed under the covers together.
"Quick!  Take your coat and shirt off!" Gail whispered, loudly.
Adrian had no choice this time.  Swiftly removing his jacket and his shirt - leaving him in only his white undershirt, he tried to fold them when Gail snatched them from his hands and threw them on the floor.
"Ahh!!" Adrian screamed in pain.
"Come in!" Gail yelled across the room.
A click was heard and a handsome bellhop entered the room.
"Sorry to disturb you - but, we have a complimentary bottle of champagne and late-night snack of torte for you!" he said, smiling pleasantly.
"No problem!" she said, grinning.  "Looks yummy!"
Adrian sank under the blankets, seeming to hide for a moment - maybe to fashion an escape route.
He wheeled the cart in the room and was set to leave.
"Oh!  Could you do us one small favour?" Gail asked.
Adrian peered up at her, fear written in his eyes.
"Of course, how may I help you, Madame?" the bellhop asked.
"Can you please tuck in my husband's side of the bed - it seems to have become a little loose!" she said, sweet as sugar.
The bellhop thought it was an odd request - "Umm�sure!"
He looked up at Adrian, hesitantly - there was a certain empathy for him in his eyes, but he did as was requested of him.  He tucked in Adrian's sheets so tight he could barely feel the circulation below his neck.  He felt like crying to the main for help, but didn't.
"Thank you!" Gail sang, happily.  She was too pleased to have him tighter than a bug in a rug!  There!  Let him try and get out of that one!
"You're welcome, have a nice night!"
"Oh, we will!" Gail replied.
Adrian shot her a look that spoke volumes.
As soon as the door closed, he wasted no time in battling his way out from under the binding covers and hastened to get out of bed. 
Gail had one last ditch effort to try, crawling over to him, she sat on top of him.
"Get off of me!!" he shrieked as he saw her perched on his lap, her legs straddling either side of his waist.
"No, not until you settle down!  Relax for damn sakes!  Stop it!!" Gail shouted, but Adrian was fighting her tooth and nail.  So she laid down completely on top of him to stifle his movement - but it only made matters worse.
He tried to struggle free, but she held fast.  The sensations of a woman's warm body pressed against his sent mixed messages to Adrian Monk's brain.  He looked down to see her watching him.
"I'll stop if you stop!" she said.
"Will you get off of me?!" he yelled.
"Yes!  Though I admit - you feel rather good right now."
For a moment, he sat still - Gail thought he was frozen with fear.  But, as a warm blush came to his face, she recognized it as something else.  His eyes seemed to go on their own little investigation of her at last - slowly descending from her warm chocolate eyes, down over her smooth, tawny throat and at last following the curve of her breasts pressed against her teddy.
Sitting up, he calmed considerably.  His face relaxed, she fully expected him to ask her to move - but, he didn't.  Out of curiosity, she tentatively touched his hard stomach hidden below the cotton of his shirt.  He jumped a bit at the sensation.  But, still he didn't protest her.  She stared into his eyes.
They watched one another for awhile, silently as a nice feeling spread over her.  Then, she felt him reach out and gradually run his fingers over her hips, his hands trembled.
Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door once more.
"Oh, not again!" Gail cried, breaking the moment.  She damned the bad luck.  "Come in!"
"Gail, move!  They'll see us!" Adrian complained, now fully trying to shove her aside.
"Adrian, we're married.  They'd think it was strange if I'm not sitting on you!" Gail answered.
The door opened once more to the same bellhop.  He looked at the couple, immediately apologizing as it was obvious they were in the midst of making love.
"Oh, I'm so sorry - I just forgot my set of keys for the kitchen!"
He hurriedly grabbed them from off a tray, failing to notice one fall free to the floor.
"No problems, we're used to an audience!" Gail replied, waving merrily at the confused man.
He quickly left the room and slammed the door behind him.  Gail just giggled.
"You have a way with words, Gail!" Adrian replied.  "Alright - off!"
She wouldn't be so easily swayed, she moved forward and laid down on his chest, playing with his shirt, suggestively.
"Are you sure I can't sleep here tonight.  You're so snugly!" she answered, closing her eyes and smiling.
"Gail, move!" he growled.
Then, she felt something.
"Ohh... I guess your friend isn't so shy after all!"
As, she reached down to touch it, he freaked and flipped her over to her side of the bed.
"Ahhh!  You're no fun!" Gail whined, rolling over in a grump to face the wall.
Just then, she felt the bed move, a distinct breeze and one less occupant under the blankets.
She glanced up to see Adrian running for the bathroom.
"Now, where are you going?" she cried.
He gave her an angry look.  "What?  I have to ask for your permission to use the bathroom?!"
"Why?  What are you going to do - wash the residue of me off?  Let me make this crystal clear to you - you're the one sick not me!' she hissed.
"Can I go now?!" he replied, looking frustrated.
She just shrugged.  "Knock yourself out!"
As he turned to walk to the bathroom, he felt something under his foot. He bent down to pick it up.
"What's this?" he asked.
Gail sat up to see what he was mumbling about now.  "Hey!  Don't touch that - it might be riddled with germs!"
Adrian glared at her, bitterly.  "Oh, you're just too funny, aren't you?!"
"Just concerned for you is all!"
"Right!" he snarled.  He looked closer at the item in his possession.  "It looks like some sort of key!"
"Hey, maybe it's that bellhop's!" Gail said.
"The key to the kitchen..." Adrian answered, enthusiastically.
"Say, do you think the bellhop is single?  He was kind of cute!"
Adrian rolled his eyes and marched off for the washroom.
"You're no help at all!" she yelled out, and fell back in the bed.

(Early the next morning):

The ship was already starting to come to life as preparation were being made to dock in the harbour off of Rio de Janeiro.  The beaches were pristine and lined with expensive hotels, several high-classed sun worshippers walked along the sand looking at another cruise ship coming in teaming with tourists.
Meanwhile, the occupants in 4B still hadn't risen for the day.  Curled up safely in their toasty cocoon, little noticing how closely they were curled up to one another.
They laid snoozing side by side, Adrian had Gail in his arms in a spoon position, his cheek resting against her neck.  It felt wonderful, safe and warm.  Moving only slightly, he reached up to cup her right breast in the palm of his hand.
As the light coming in through the window shone down on the pair, Gail moaned a little at the sensation she was only half aware of.
"Mmm - Trudy!" Adrian growled, softly squeezing Gail's nipple and leaning over to nuzzle her ear.
Suddenly, his words woke them.
In the shock of the moment, they froze as their eyes shot open in horror.
  "AHH!!" they both screamed.
It was almost simultaneous, as they jumped out of the bed and both charged for the bathroom door.  But, he was quicker and slammed it in her face.
She hammered on it with her fist.
"That shower was mine, bucko!!"
But, it was too late as the water began to run inside.  Kicking the door, she returned to bed.
"Damn!" she cursed.
Laying there by herself, she smiled for a minute as she still felt the slight pain where he had pinched her nipple with his fingers - the delicious little squeeze.
"I knew you liked them!" she muttered to herself.

(Later on, in the lower deck of the ship):

"You're sure it's the right key?" Gail asked Adrian as she followed him down the hallway to the kitchen area - the galley.
He looked around him for a moment, then fished out the key and put it in the lock.  It popped open.
"I'm certain!" he answered, smugly.
They stepped inside, cautiously.  It was unusual for it to be so quiet over the breakfast hour.  There wasn't a soul around.
"What are we looking for?" she asked, quietly as she followed him.
"Evidence!" he answered.
"No kidding, Sherlock!  What kind of evidence?"
"Proof that Moreno has been here!  If he has, it's very possible someone is covering for him - trying to hide the fact!" Adrian explained to her, glancing over at her near his shoulder.  "You look festive!"
Gail stopped in her tracks for a moment.  He was noticing how she looked?
"You don't!" she answered, grinning.
"No, I mean - is that one of Gwen's outfits?"
"Well, who's else would it be?"
She certainly looked like someone ready for the carnival celebrations.  She had on a pant suit; with a billowy black, off-the-shoulder blouse tied at the wrists with large magenta flower prints all over.  Tight black chinos with ruffles running in the same design from her knees to her ankles.  A nice pair of black, tied-sandals seemed to set it off.  Her blonde hair tied high in a pony tail.
"You look like Charo!"
"Shakira!" she snarled, insultingly.  "Why aren't you borrowing something from David's closet?"
"You mean, something someone else has used?" he asked, timorously. 
"So you wore the same outfit as yesterday?" she replied.
He looked startled by the realization, he was ready to turn and go back.  She grabbed his arm.
"Nevermind!' she cried.  "We'll find you something after, 'kay?"
Then, someone walked in on them, he looked to be the head chef.  And, a rather imposing one at that.
"What are you doing in my kitchen?  Who let you in here?!  No guests!"
Adrian felt like hiding behind Gail, but then summoned up his courage.  "We're just looking for a Michelangelo Moreno - we're friends of his and..."
"No, no, no - out!  I'm calling the steward!!" he barked.
"Oh damn!  Not him again!" Gail cried.
"Listen, can't we -?" Adrian tried to reason.
But, the head chef turned and left the room without another word.
Gail tried to do the same.
"Gail, where are you going?  We have to wait, if we leave, they'll question why!" Adrian said, stopping her.
"I can't be here when that steward comes back!  He reminds me too much of an old boyfriend I had!" she said, and held herself nervously.  He'd never seen her act this way.
"Hal Meyers?" Adrian asked.  It seemed he was hearing a lot about him recently.
"No, Lenny Simpson.  I broke up with him after he started becoming verbally abusive, it escalated - so I had to get a restraining order against him!  Didn't do much good.  He called one night to say he was stopping by for a visit to my place, I was sure he would rape or kill me if given half the chance, so I got the hell out.  I came back to find the place trashed.  That's when I pressed charges and moved from Seattle to San Francisco!" she said, very matter-of-fact like.
"Gail..." he muttered, speechless as he felt a chill go up his spine of her account.  He had no idea.  He looked on her with sympathy.
"It's alright.  He's not around anymore - he was knifed in prison!" she commented, exhaling loudly.
"Well, this steward won't give you a hard time while I'm here!" Adrian promised.  "No one is treating my wife that way!"
Gail smiled up at him, a genuine smile.
"Thanks, Adrian!" she replied.
"You're welcome!' he said, and very softly he patted her shoulder.  It meant so much coming from him.
A few minutes later, the steward as promised arrived to escort them back to their room.  Gail gives him a leery glance as he looked her over and winked at her.  Adrian saw what was happening and intervened, standing protectively in front of Gail.
"Let's just go!" he whispered.
She nods and follows him closely from the kitchen.
As they came back into the hall, Adrian saw a familiar face outside - Mike Moreno.  He was entering the kitchen by the far door.
"Mr. Moreno!!" Adrian shouted after him.
Gail looked up and saw the suspect at last.  He couldn't have been more than 25-30 years old, if that.  The young man heard his name and ran off in the opposite direction.
"He's just a kid!" Gail muttered.
Adrian took the initiative and bolted down the hall after him, Gail tried to follow - that was, until Robert Gresco the steward stepped in her path.
"Where are you going, beautiful?  Why chase after a boy when you can have a man!!" he purred to her as boldly he reached out and grabbed her up against him.  He stroked her crudely through her clothes.
Gail tried to wriggle free, she wanted to protest but a familiar fear gripped her.
"Adri - David!  David!!" she screamed for Monk's help.
Her vocal cries caught his attention, he could see Gail fighting off the advances of the possessive Gresco - so he had to let Moreno go once more.
Running to her side, he pulled her free from the steward and put his arm securely around her.  He slowly began to walk off.
"Stay away from my wife!!" he snarled, glaring bitterly at the man as she shoved his way hard past him.
Gail clutched Adrian close to her as they walked, he glanced over his shoulder to watch Gresco as they walked down the hall.  Once they were safely out of view, Adrian let her go.
"Are you OK?" he whispered.
"Yeah, I'm fine... thanks to you!  But, we lost Moreno again!" she replied.
"I know!" he sighed in obvious frustration.
"Look, why don't we just go down to Rio for the day - see if we can track him down, perhaps he disembarked.  I wouldn't mind getting off this ship for awhile!"
"That's if he got off..." Adrian said in answer.  "I'm tired of cat and mouse games!"
"Yeah, I know you suck at charades!" Gail replied.
Adrian just glared at her.
"Well, aside from that - it will be a bit hard to investigate Rio de Janeiro without a car!" he said.
"That's all taken care of!" she answered proudly and reaching into her purse, she presented him with what looked like a check book.
"What's that?"
"Traveller's checks!' she said, beaming a smile at him.
"And, just where did you get these?" he asked, looking shocked at just how much of a pickpocket his wife was turning out to be.
"The same place I got the tickets.  Man!  How did you ever become a detective?!"
She opened them up and marvelled at the array of dollar signs.
"Oh my God!!  There has to be at least $50,000. worth of checks in here!  Can you imagine what you could do with all this money?" she breathed.
He walked past her and commented, "Bail you out of jail?!"
She just cocked her head to the side.  "Ha ha!  Funny!"

(Down on dry land, at last. Rio was an incredible place):

As they went off to rent a car at a nearby dealership, they were met there by Dylan and Maggie with Giles in tow, already proceeding to do the same thing.  Adrian was really beginning to have the sneaking suspicion that they were the only passengers on the ship!
"Land sakes alive, Maggie!  I do think they are stalking us!" Dylan raged, grinning at his petite wife.  Maggie just laughed.
"So where are you both off to?" she asked, turning to smile at Adrian and Gail.
"Oh, you know..." Adrian said, speaking up for them.  He began to wave his arms around like a trained seal.  "Going to go party, catch the rays, have a blast - see the carnival!!"
Gail rolled her eyes.  "That's Brazil, baby!  He can be a little forgetful sometimes!"
Maggie just giggled.  "Well, actually, maybe there is a carnival here- I don't think you need rays though, you look well tanned as is!"
Maggie seemed to edge closer to Adrian with those words, and almost rubbed up against him.  Gail felt a little streak of jealousy as she grasped Adrian's arm and pulled her closer to her instead.  Adrian looked at her a bit in surprise.
"Well, I think we should team up together and paint this town red!!  What do you say, David - care for a spot of fun?" Dylan announced, grabbing some rental keys off the front counter.  "I have the Audi!"
"Fun?" Adrian choked.
Gail just nudged him.  "I think he's forgotten the definition of the word!"
"When someone or something enjoys oneself in a pleasurable activity!" Giles answered, the man was a serious walking dictionary.
"You're indispensable, Giles!" Dylan chanted.
"Thank you, sir!"
"I agree with the fellow, David - you need to learn to have fun again.  Why not go back to your room, lie out the missus and frolic under her mistletoe!" Dylan said, blazingly like it was nothing but a suggestion.
"You think you can handle that, honey?" Gail asked.
Adrian covered his eyes in embarrassment.
Maggie quickly grabbed Dylan's arm to calm him down.  "Or - you could come spend the day with us?!"
Adrian whispered to Gail in confidence.  "I think I like her suggestion better!"
"Well, aren't you a cold fish!" Dylan said, hearing him.  "Real Don Juan under the covers, is he?"
"Dylan, give it a rest, please!" Maggie snarled, her demeanour suddenly changing.
Gail looked at her in surprise.
"Sorry, my love!" Dylan answered, meekly.
Now, it was Maggie who claimed the keys.
"Well, what say we head out?  I know a great place to start!"
They all followed her obediently, not dare defying her - except for Dylan who whined,
"But, I want to drive!!  Mags!! Come on!"

(Outside in the car on the cobbled streets of Rio.  The red hot sun was already rising in the sky as they approached the rented Audi.  Dylan had once again commandeered the driver's side):

Looking up at the sky in obvious annoyance, Adrian was beginning to feel uncomfortable in this foreign climate.  He seemed to chant something heavenwards as he squinted at the sun.  He took off his jacket and slung it over his arm as he followed Gail to the car.  She saw him and grinned.
"A little warm under the collar?" she whispered.
"If you must know, yes.  Do we really need to spend the day with them?" he said, glaring at the overly enthusiastic pair in front of them.
  "Oh, come on - be social for once, Adrian.  You watch - you'll have enjoy yourself!" Gail whispered, patting his arm in sympathy.
"I doubt that.  I think I'll have about as much fun as Giles over there!" he said, glancing at the butler with a look of recognition in his eyes.
The tall gentleman seemed uneasy with Dylan's insistence for him to just hop in the backseat, he carefully tucked his suit tails underneath of him and did as was requested without complaint.  Adrian decided to lend a team support and moved in next to him.  He grinned at him with equal displeasure.
"Yes, I agree, sir!" Giles said, quietly to him.
Adrian just snickered at him.  Giles laughed lightly as well in an unspoken trust. 
Gail, on the other hand, was having problems navigating the back of the Audi.  Getting her purse strap caught in the hinge of the car, she fought to free it valiantly - all the while nearly falling into her seat where Adrian was�butt first. 
Adrian jumped back in terror as her derriere was thrust in his face, he threw his shoulder up against it to push her away. 
"Gail!  What the hell are you doing?" Adrian yelled.
"Damnit, Adrian - it's my purse.  Help me here!"
"No!!" he yelled in answer.
When finally she freed herself, she fell in the seat next to him. Her tow head pressing against his chest as she shut the door.
"Whew!!" Gail said.  She looked up to the front seat to see all eyes trained on her, slowly Adrian followed her gaze.
"Adrian? Gail?" Dylan asked as Maggie gave them dirty looks.  "I think you have some explaining to do here, folks before we go anywhere!  Just who on earth are you?  Is this some sort of joke?!  I don't think it's very funny!"
"Sir, if I might!" Giles interceded to Adrian's relief as he looked clearly unable to talk.  "May I introduce you both to former detective, Adrian Monk who right now is on the investigation of an unfortunate murder and his lady friend, Gail Fleming."
Gail shot her hand out.  "Hi!"
No one offered to take it, so she quietly took it back in regret.
"Why didn't you tell us?!" Maggie cried.  "I thought we were friends?!"
"I'm sorry, it's just that if we told you we wouldn't be able to find the man we were looking for and possibly get tossed off the boat!" Gail tried to explain.  "I really do like you both, I'm sorry!"
"Giles, explain - you knew of this and didn't divulge?" Dylan barked, looking at his employee with an accusatory air.
"I regret, sir, my choice most humbly - I did it out of love for the person involved, Mr. Moreno!" Giles said, hiding his dark blue eyes, immediately.
"Mike?" Dylan asked.
"Yes, sir!" Giles said, slowly.
"Well, dash all - no need to explain further I - hang on!!  Hold the press - Adrian Monk??  The Adrian Monk?  Possibly the most well-known man in San Francisco next to the mayor Adrian Monk?" Dylan shouted, his eyes lighting up.  "Good God, man!  I can't believe I didn't recognize you!!  How do manage to solve all those crimes so effortlessly?"
"I know!" Gail said, and smiled at him.  "I'm so proud of him!"
Adrian looked at her astonished.  "You are?!"
"Sure!" she said, unashamedly.
Adrian just smirked and sniffed in the air in modesty as he looked back at Dylan.  "It's nothing really!" he answered, proudly.
"It must be hard dealing with criminals and multiple personalities all day!"
Gail started to laugh as Adrian's expression dropped.  "I don't have -"
"Just last night, he started thinking he was Rasputin!" Gail replied.  "And, and - this morning, he thought he was that cabbie on Wings - Antonio!"
Adrian rolled his eyes.  "Gail!  I'm OCD!"
"Osteochondritis Dessicans?" Dylan asked.
"A hereditary disease that commonly occurs during the early development of dogs, and less often in horses and cats. The condition is characterized by cracks and flaps in auricular cartilage, which cause inflammation, joint instability, pain, lameness, and degenerative joint disease," Giles started to spew out like reading it from a book.
Gail started laughing, Adrian's face was beginning to turn beet red.  "No, it's not..."
"Well, I must say - this explains a lot!" Dylan answered
Gail was now in tears from laughing so hard, she wiped them from her eyes.  She could see how Adrian was struggling to maintain his dignity and so she decided to be nice for once.
"Actually, he's obsessive-compulsive.  But, the thing is - you normally can't tell.  He handles it so well.  It's hard to tell he's sick, so easy mistake!" she said.
Adrian's eyes opened wide as he looked up at her.  She just grinned at him and rubbed his arm softly.  He surprised her as he reached over and patted the back of her hand warmly with his.
"Oh - I see!" Dylan said, letting it finally sink in.  "So if you see a spider you run for your life?"
Adrian gritted his teeth.  "No, I have no fear of spiders..."
"Heights, crowds, germs and milk actually!" Gail answered.
Adrian could feel his blood pressure rise.  "Gail, I don't think they need a full encyclopaedia version of my life!"
"Milk?  Criminy!  But, it just like - sits there, it doesn't do anything.  Why on earth would you be afraid of milk?" Dylan persisted.
Adrian just moaned and buried his head in his hands.  Gail put her arms around him before he moved away from him.
"Now - spiders.  Ewww!  Those furry little insects with the eight arms and beady eyes... yuck!"
"Frankly, I think anything that comes out of that end of the cow would be scary, if you think about it!" Gail replied.
Adrian couldn't believe the conversation.
"It's not because of the milk itself!" Adrian moaned.
"I believe in fact it is the bacteria!" Giles answered.  "As with most dairy products, the build up of which is not always satisfactorily removed through the pasteurization process!"
"Can we please talk about something else!" Adrian said, bitterly.
"Right!  So, that's what we'll have to do then!  Help the great detective find his suspect!  Get his man!  Lock the man up, stock and barrel and..."
"Sir, the main suspect in the crime is Mr. Moreno himself!" Giles interrupted.
Dylan turned to look at him.  "Say it isn't so!  No!!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Oh, that's terrible!" Maggie lamented.  "He's such a sweet guy, are you sure, Mr. Monk?"
"It's just a suspicion right now.  We really need to find Mr. Moreno himself to confirm it one way or the other!" Adrian said, feeling at ease at last to speak his mind without playing a role he didn't fit into anymore.  And, relieved mostly to change the subject.
"I don't think he's capable of such a thing, Giles!  It can't be true!" Maggie replied.
She moved her hand back and touched his shoulder.
"Thank you, ma'am!" Giles said, trying hard to smile.
"I think that we'll..." Maggie tried to explain, when suddenly Dylan interrupted her.
"By Gods - if it isn't!  It is!!!  It's MIKE!!" he shouted.  He threw the car into gear, it grinded loudly as the tires screeched on the pavement.  "Strap something on folks, we're going to give this baby wings!"
"Uh - Dylan!" Adrian cried, trying to tell him it was simply a man selling watches.  But, he didn't hear him. 
The car roared to life, as Dylan drove like a mad man down the center of the street.  Several people screamed as they dove out of his way.  He went from 50 to 100 mph in nothing flat.  The man with the watches dropped all of his merchandise in the street and ran for his life.
"Don't worry!  We'll get 'em, Adrian!" he said, taking his eyes off the road to talk to Adrian behind him.
He looked terrified as he pointed towards the street begging Dylan to watch where he was going. 
Suddenly, Maggie screamed.  "Dylan!!  Watch out for the old woman!  You're going to hit her!"
Dylan sprang around and everyone in the car shouted as they covered their eyes.   He barely avoided her.
"Why don't you watch where you're going, you old cow!!" he shouted out the window.  The Spanish woman turned and waved her cane at the passing car.
Gail and Adrian didn't think anything of grabbing for one another now, suddenly their usual animosity was pushed aside as they clung to one another for dear life.  That's when Adrian noticed that the normally calm Giles actually looked like he was having a panic attack.
"Sir!  Sir!  I beg of you!  Sir, please cease and desist!" he cried, as he swiped a handkerchief across his forehead in anxiety.  He then turned and swiped it across Adrian's sweating brow as well.
As they ran roughshod over the cobbled streets, everyone was shaken back and forth in their seats like a bottle of tightly capped pop.  Adrian practically hit the driver's side a couple of times, and the ceiling of the Audi about three times.  He wondered silently if he was going to make it out of this alive as he buried his face into Gail's shoulder and held her tightly against him.
"Hold me, Gail!" he whispered.
"Dylan!  Stop it!!  What are you on!!  Stop the car!" Gail screamed, kicking Dylan's seat a couple of times.  But it did little good.
"That's it!  I want you to stop this car right now, Dylan or so help me God, you won't get any for a week!" Maggie yelled above everyone else, as she about reached over and grabbed the keys out of the ignition in anger.
Suddenly, Dylan landed hard on the brakes.  Adrian, Gail and Giles were tossed forward and fell against the floor between the front and back seats.
Giles was deeply humiliated.  "I'm so sorry, sir, Madame - are you alright?" he asked, helping them sit back up.
Adrian looked infuriated, as he sat back up and dusted himself off.  "Yeah, I'm fine!"
He began to twitch uncontrollably and kept putting his face to his shoulder.  Gail looked at him in concern.  She touched his face a bit and stroked his cheek.
"Is he alright?" Maggie asked, looking back at them.
"He will be, just give him a moment!" Gail said and kept on stroking his cheek with her warm palm.  Like instant medicine, what should have irritated him actually helped and her passive touch soothed him to the point that the twitching stopped.  "Are you OK now?"
He nodded at her and she hugged him one last time, smoothing back his hair.
"Are you sure you two aren't married?  You act like you are!" Maggie whispered.
Gail just smiled at her.
"I just wish sometimes I wasn't!" Maggie continued to say and glared hard at Dylan.  "Give me the keys!  You've just lost your driving privileges!"
"What about the other?" Dylan asked, only concerned about one thing.
"We'll see!" Maggie snarled, as he handed her the keys.  They decided to trade places and both got out of the cars.
Gail needed to get her land legs back again after the wild ride and stepped out herself.  Adrian followed her, as soon as he did, he saw Dylan walk up past him.
"Howdy do!" he chanted, like nothing was wrong, waving at him like a nut.
When he turned to sit into the passenger side, Adrian lunged for his throat with his hands before Gail grabbed him. 
"Adrian, no!  It's OK!  Chill!  We'll save getting even later, alrighty?" she said, gripping his arms as his anger subsided.  He looked up into her eyes and turned quiet.
"I'm glad you're here!" he whispered as he went back to the car.
Gail stood there for a moment and smiled to herself.  She sat back in next to him.
Grinning at him unabashedly, Adrian looked at her.
"What?"
"Nothing - it's just - that was a nice thing to say!" she said, quietly.
He nodded.  "Don't let it go to your head!"
She looked shocked, the words were familiar.  "You heard me?"
He grinned now. 
"Damn, I'll have to be careful what I do when you're asleep from now on!"
He swallowed.  "What do you mean?  What else have you been doing?"
She didn't say anything, just smirked quietly.
"Gail?"
Maggie witnessed some of their transaction and giggled.  "I think they should be married!  You two are so cute together!  Where to first?  And, before you open your mouth Mr. Thomason - I'm not asking you!"
Dylan pouted and skulked in his corner.
"Say, let's go check out the cathedral first!  There is an old one down by the coastline!" Maggie announced, starting up the car. "Hon, do you have the map?"
Dylan started rummaging around in the glove compartment for the said item.
Adrian rests back in his seat in relief.  "Thank God that's over!"
"Amen to that!" Gail sighed, slumping down next to him.
"Actually, sir - I have some unfortunate news..." Giles interrupted.
Maggie suddenly revved the car too high and it screamed to life.  Adrian's eyes opened wide in horror.
"Mrs. Thomason's driving license has been revoked twice!" Giles finished.  "Mr. Thomason is the expert driver in the family!"
"Oh God!!" Adrian and Gail cried in unison as they stared ahead of them at the back of Maggie's head, begging for mercy.
She tore off down the street much the way her husband had done earlier.
"Here's the map, darling!!" Dylan sang and threw it open right across the dash and windshield, totally obliterating Maggie's view.
"Oh, this looks promising!" Maggie replied, oblivious to everything around her.
"AHHH!!" Adrian screamed as beyond the paper impression of the Northwest Territories he could see a cliff overlooking the ocean that they were heading straight for.  He covered his eyes.

(Minutes later):

Dylan stood outside the car and looked down at the cliff as the car was parked beside them.  "I say, that was a close call - good thing that dime stopped us!"
He bent down to pick up a small coin in the dust and examine it in wonder, as a few rocks and pebbles from off the edge of the tire that hung over the side of the cliff attested just how close they had come to plummeting to their deaths below.
Adrian didn't hear him, he instead sat weakly on the ground, his head between his legs and hyperventilating.  He was trying hard to avoid blacking out.  Gail sat next to him, shivering from head to toe.
"You've blighted me enough, sir!  I quit!" shouted Giles, in unusual anger as he threw down his handkerchief on the ground and marched off towards a nearby town.
"What again?  Giles!!" Maggie cried.  She turned back to Dylan before running off to talk to Giles.  "He's always quitting!  Normal people don't quit all the time like that!  This is all your fault!"
Adrian thought of Sharona briefly with Maggie's words - but shrugged it off.
"Mine?  You're the one driving woman!"
"That's it - I quit too!" Maggie shouted.
Dylan just stood there, throwing up his hands in disgust.  "I give up!!  I bloody well give up!  I suppose you're going to quit on me too?"
Both Gail and Adrian looked at him for only a split second, before standing up and running off the other way.
"That's right!  Who needs you anyhow!!" Dylan shouted, angrily.
He hit the back of the car and sat against it in frustration.

(Half an hour later, Gail and Adrian investigate Rio on their own):

The city really turned out to be a lot more modern than they first suspected.  The downtown and streets were teaming with people as the radiant sun was beaming down on them.
As they stopped to visit a vendor on the side of the Ipanema beach for some chilled coconut water, Adrian looked at her in concern.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I studied Spanish in high school, I need to speak to the man for a minute!" he answered, stepping up to the tiny middle-aged man who just handed Gail a coconut.
"Well speak slowly to the Carioca - I think they speak Portuguese here, Adrian!" she replied, and sipped her drink.  "Oh God, this is good!  Want a sip?"
She offered him her straw, but he just gave her an insulted look. 
"Nevermind!" she grumbled.
Adrian tried his best Spanish and Gail was pleasantly surprised - he was really pretty good.  The man behind the counter knew what the wanted immediately.  He handed him his own coconut water and a small bottle of sunscreen lotion.
"Are you burning?" she asked as he urged her to join him in the shade of the vendor's awning.
"No, you are - you need some lotion!" he said, and put some into the palm of his hand.  "Now, hold still!"
She looked shocked that he was so concerned for her and even more that he himself was offering to apply it.  Dabbing a bit on the tip of her nose and then the plum of her cheeks with his fingertips - he rubbed it slightly into her skin.
"Alright, I need a wipe, please!" he said, shaking the excess off his hands.
"Why don't you put some on too?" she asked, not moving to retrieve a towellette for him.
"With - the same hand?" he cried, looking terrified at the thought.
"Adrian, my face is germ-free - I swear!  You're getting red already.  Here!"
Seeing he wasn't making any overtures to do it on his own, she gave him a wipe towellette as she took the bottle from his grip.  Squirting some on her fingers, she began to smooth it onto his face.
"Gail!  What are you doing - I can do it!" he cried as he tried to move away from her, she grabbed his arm and stopped him.
"Shh!  Relax - it's just me!" she whispered.
She continued to stroke his soft face, softly exploring his nose, caressing his cheek and down over his chin.  She even brushed his lips gently with her hand.
He jumped back a bit.  "Gail, I don't think I'll burn there!"
"Oh yeah!" she whispered, surprising herself.  "Well, why don't we go into town a bit?  I heard from others on the ship that the Candel�ria Church is really beautiful or we could go to the Museu de Arte Moderna?  It's just wonderful here, isn't it?  I almost feel like singing The Girl from Ipanema!"
"Please don't!" he snarled.
"I am The Girl from Ipanema!"
"You look like it!"
"Will you stop insulting my outfit - besides, it's not really - so, in fact, you're insulting two people!"
"Gail!" warned Adrian, losing patience.
They started to walk off down the streets with the unique wavy lines across the stylish pavement.  When they did, Gail could hear Adrian start humming behind her.  He was humming the tune from - what else - The Girl from Ipanema.
She turned to smile at him, catching him in the act.  "Catchy, isn't it?"
He looked flustered.  "Damn!" he cursed.
But, as they walked on - he kept humming despite himself.  Gail started skipping to the tune.
"Will you please stop that!  Act your age!" Adrian snarled, stopping to wait for her to quit.
She looked blankly at him.  "I thought I was?" she teased.
"Oh yeah, you're right!"
"Hey!!" she hissed.
Adrian walked away, snickering and singing-
'Short and tan and old and annoying,
             The Gail from Ipanema goes walking,
             And when she passes,
             Each one she passes goes "AHH!"'
"That's not funny, Adrian!" Gail yelled, following him down the street.

(The Candel�ria Cathedral.  A huge, sprawling church with several people going in not only to worship but to also visit):

Even Adrian had to admit that he was enjoying himself, despite the case still at hand.  He forgot himself for a moment as walking behind a tour group with Gail beside him, he looked up in awe at the frescos across the ceiling that no doubt had stood there for centuries.  Though, he found himself craving a rag to clean away the inches of dirt over the original painting, he marvelled at what fascinating work that would really be. 
"You like it?" Gail asked, coming up to him and admiring the masterpieces skyward with him.
"You were right, Gail - it's beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it!" he said, breathing in and closing his eyes to savour the moment.
"I'm right?  Oh my - have to write that down!"
He smiled down at her.  He touched her shoulder again, a new record.
"Thank you for this, Gail!"
"Wow!  You're welcome!  It's enough to just see you happy!" she whispered.
He glanced down at her, his eyes softened as he nodded.  "You too!"
"I think for me, it's like - when you witness something like this - it's nice to share it with someone!" she answered.
Adrian grinned.  "I agree!  Unlike the shared experience of Dylan and Maggie!"
Both he and Gail shared a laugh.
"You don't suppose Giles really did quit for good, do you?  I hope he didn't leave Rio!  I rather liked him!" Gail replied.
"Me too, he was our only real link to Mr. Moreno!"
Suddenly, Gail gasped and gripped Adrian's arm.
"What?!" he snarled, wondering why she was so touchy-feely of late.
"Alright, this is getting scary!  Adrian - promise me - please, to remain calm!" she said, still hanging onto him.  She was glancing off towards the front of the church.
He followed her gaze and noticed a certain young, Italian man seated in the pews up front.
"Oh my God - it's him again!" Adrian cried.
"I have an idea - follow my lead, OK?  You sit on one side of him, I'll take the other!"
He nodded and quietly they divided company, Gail took the center aisle and Adrian the far right.  All the while, Mike Moreno sitting in the second row of pews had no idea that he was being staked out as he bowed his head down to his joined hands in reverent prayer.
Adrian made his way around; about to slide in alongside of him when an old woman cut across his path, she was sneezing into a handkerchief.  Adrian cringed.
Gail looked over at him slightly in concern, but then begged for him to sit down.  He did so, begrudgingly.  She sat down next to Mike nearly shoulder to shoulder with him.  He didn't even look up to take note of her presence.  She watched him for awhile in silence, and then leaned back against the hard wood seats.  Gazing over to signal Adrian - she could see him gesturing frantically about the old woman sneezing continuously next to him.
"SARS!!" he whispered, loudly.
The woman glanced up at him.  "Shhh!"
Gail waved at him, telling him to calm down as he kept getting more and more flustered, annoying the woman to no end - until at last she finally hit him with her purse.  After which, he was quiet.
Gail rolled her eyes, and then focused back on Mike.
"Peaceful here, isn't it?  The kind of place where you just feel like opening your soul!" she said, aloud, hoping Mike would notice her.
The old woman hissed.  "Shhh!"
Now, Adrian went on the defensive. 
"Shhh!" he himself said to the old woman.
So she hit him with her purse again.
Mike looked up at Gail to see who she was talking to and recognized her from the ship.  Frightened, he jumped up to run off to his right only to notice he was now blocked in by the old woman and next to her - Adrian Monk.
"I mean - " Gail kept on talking. "this is the perfect place, if you have something weighing on your mind, Mike.  Think of me as your confessional.  What happened to Mr. Tolkin, huh?"
Mike's large chestnut eyes glared up at her like a nervous deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.  He seemed hardly the type likely to be a murderer, Gail thought - but knew that looks could be deceiving.
"You don't understand - it wasn't supposed to happen!" he moaned, his eyes imploring her.
"Are you saying it was an accident?" she asked.
"It was meant to be me - not him.  I've messed up too many things!" he muttered, burying his face.
"What things, Mike?" she continued to cajole, she touched his arm in a show of sympathy.
Suddenly, the old woman seated next to Adrian missed her handkerchief and sneezed on him instead.  Freaking out completely, he leapt up and left his seat.  In the resulting chaos - Mike saw his opening.  Diving for the escape past the old lady, he ran for the exit.
"Adrian!  Get him!!" Gail screamed, standing up to run down the other aisle.
But, as Adrian jumped into his own aisle, he was beset by a throng of tourists approaching him and pushing him back towards the front.
Gail watched as Mike Moreno was halfway out of the church - abruptly stop and wait at the large, mahogany doors.  Had he had a change of heart? 
That's when she witnessed Giles appear from a side alcove, exchanging a few words with mike and then putting his arm around the young man, escort him outside.
"I don't believe it!" Gail breathed, watching in shock - they had been betrayed.  "Damnit!"
She searched through the growing crowd for her partner.  "Adrian?"

(Moments later, outside):

"Are you sure it was Giles?" Adrian asked Gail as he stood next to her on the church's stone steps out front.  She sat down and hugged her knees.
"Yeah, I'm certain!  Do you think he's the one?"
Adrian shook his head, but his eyes drifted off to the horizon.  "I don't know - something just doesn't quite fit here!"
"Well, we better start figuring out things soon, the more chances he gets the more he will get away with all of this!" Gail lamented.
"I know!" answered Adrian.
"Why don't you think Giles is the one?" she persisted.
He looked down at her.  "Gail, if I knew - I'd know who did it - I don't!"
"But, maybe it is him - think of it - he's the butler!  It would be the perfect cover!" she said, her dark eyes growing excited.
He held his forehead in his hand as he continued to listen to her.  "Yes, Gail - that's precisely why he did it!  He went ahead because knowing he was a butler no one would believe he did it because it was too obvious!"
"Well - excusssee me!" Gail snarled and got up from her spot.  She began walking away from him.
"Where are you going?!" he asked.
"I'm going to find Dylan!"
"Umm - do we really have to?" Adrian said, starting to grow anxious again with the mere thought.
"Well, what would you suggest then?  We just sit around here twiddling our thumbs and our toes?  Or better yet - maybe the murderer will just walk up to us and say 'Hey, guess what?  It's me!  Slap on those pretty little cuffs!'"
Adrian rolled his eyes.  "Gail - he quit!  The last person Giles is going to go to is Dylan!"
"Then what the hell do we do now?!" she asked, standing in the middle of the busy noon day square with her hands on her hips.  "Tell me - I'd really love to know!"  
Adrian shrugged again and then he perked up.
"Do you still have your cell phone?"
"Sure, yeah - I got it at Verizon.  Do you know that it's cheaper than a regular phone and you can -" she started spouting off as she reached into her purse.
"Mrs. Lazar, the phone please!" Adrian snarled, holding out his hand.
"Here!" she snapped, walking over to hand it to him.  Impatient with the whole matter, her attention wandered and she looked longingly at the incredible view of the ocean beyond the white sands.  "We should go walk out on the beach after - who are you calling?"
"I'm calling Stottlemeyer!" he whispered, covering the receiver with his hand. 
She nodded, and then decided to go treasure hunting in her purse for a stick of Juicy Fruit.  She leaned up against the stone banister of the church as she half-listened to him.
"Hello?  Yes, Captain Stottlemeyer please - it's Adrian Monk!" she heard him say.
After a few minutes, he was connected.
"Sir?  It's me.  Did Sharona contact you recently?  Uh huh�oh?...Yes - mmm hmm - about the case.  I'm in Rio!"
He grimaced for a moment.  "Please, stop laughing!"
Gail smiled to herself.
"I needed to call you to find out what you've uncovered about Tolkin - yes - really?  That's strange!"
  Gail looked up in curiosity.  "What?  What?"
He waved her off.
"But, it can't be - are you sure?"
Gail was jumping around like she needed the bathroom.  She was dying to listen in.  Finally, she could stand it no longer.  Running up the stairs next to him, she tried to lean up to put her ear next to his to hear the phone.  She continued to chomp loudly on her gum.
"Gail! - what? - that's Gail chewing her gum - yes!  Will you please go away!!" he snarled, trying to shove her slightly.  "No - not you sir!"
She just gave him the finger and sat down at his feet.  He didn't even notice as he was still engrossed in the call.
"OK, thank you.  I will.  Goodbye!"
He hung up.  She stared up at him, he looked lost for a moment.
"So?!" she asked.
"He thinks it was suicide!" Adrian answered her.
"Suicide?!" snapped Gail.  "But that's not - wait - he said it was an accident!"
"Who did?!"
"Mike Moreno - maybe it was!!"
"No!  No!  There's more to this!  Why would Moreno run in fear over something that Tolkin did himself?!"
Gail looked at him blankly.  "Possibly he was a witness to something he shouldn't have and got scared!"
"It still doesn't make sense, we're missing a piece to this puzzle!"
"If it's not Giles, if it's iffy on Moreno - then, who else?  The cook?"
Adrian looked frustrated.  "I'm not sure.  I wish we had more to go on - we're too far away from the crime scene.  If I can't see any longer�"
"Listen, I don't know about you - but, I'm going down for a walk along the edge of the beach.  I need to clear my head!  I've been thinking of this thing too long, it's beginning to hurt!" Gail announced, standing up, and gathering up her purse.  "You're welcome to join me if you want?"
"No, umm - that's alright - I'll just wait here!" he said, hesitantly.
She just looked indifferent.  "Oh well, suit yourself.  See you later!"
Gail began to walk off down the pavement towards the beach, Adrian watched her leaving him and decided that he couldn't take it alone without her.  Running off after her, he caught up with her.  She smiled and they strolled off together.

(They decided against the beach at that hour, there were far too many people and Adrian found he couldn't handle it):

They instead went back further into town.  Gail stopped to get a caricature done of her at a sidewalk artist's stand.  She was tickled by the results and Adrian found he couldn't stop laughing when he saw it�saying it was supposed to be just a caricature, not a realistic portrait. 
Walking around the fountain in the middle of the square in Leblon, they threw a few pennies into it.  They stopped for a brief lunch at an outdoor caf�, and tried some amazing local cuisine.  Gail bought Adrian a large hat to cover his head from the sun, refusing to wear at first, he decided to when he realized he was getting warm.  Now it was Gail's turn to giggle, which Adrian didn't find nearly as amusing.
Stopping at another caf� for a drink, they sat outside and admired people going about their daily business outside.  At one point, a little girl saw Gail applying some makeup and became enchanted by her. 
She ran up and tried to climb into Gail's lap.  Gail freaked at first at the invasion, not used to the extra little visitor in her lap.  Adrian couldn't watch as the girl seemed to be getting her hands all over Gail's legs and arms as she climbed up, they appeared to be sticky from something the little girl just ate.
"Lydia!" screamed her mom, as she ran over to retrieve the little girl from the distressed tourist.
Gail looked up, the little girl now comfortably in her lap.  "It's alright, she's fine, aren't you?   She was just curious about my makeup," she said, softly talking to the girl.
The little girl beamed.  "Pretty!  Colors!"
The mother just smiled at her daughter.  "Come now, mama has a lot of shopping to do next door at Cabr� - we need to go, sweets!"
"Can I watch her for awhile?" Gail suddenly asked.
Adrian looked up at her in surprise, shocked at her willingness.
"Ahh - " the mother hesitated, then she saw that they looked like a safe married couple, what harm could there be.  "I guess it would be alright.  Lydia, would you stay here with�"
"Gail!" she answered, holding the little wiggling girl still.
"Stay here with Gail and mama will be back soon.  I should only be a few minutes�"
"That's OK, take your time.  We'll be fine!" Gail announced, enthusiastically.
"Thank you so much!" the mother said, smiling at both Gail and Adrian.
Gail fussed over the little girl in her arms, her face lighting up as the played with Lydia.  As Adrian sipped his coffee, he watched her in fascination.  Her whole demeanour softened.  He never would have expected it of Gail and for a moment, just very briefly - he watched her with a new mixture of feelings.  He smiled to himself, as he watched Gail patting some face powder on the little girl's nose.  Lydia giggled in amusement.
"Want to try on some blush!  I bet they make your cheeks glow!" Gail said, giggling with her.
The little girl smiled and knelt up in her lap a bit, touching her face.  She looked at her.  "Pretty!"
Gail realized that she was fascinated with her hair, and began to pull on the golden locks with her tiny fingers.  She laughed at Lydia and glanced up for a moment to Adrian to see him staring at her, a soft look in his eyes.  She smiled at him, and Adrian blushed a bit - his smile was warm as he returned it.
They gazed at one another for a minute, it was almost like they were married and�
Lydia pulled on Gail's hair hard and she was brought back to reality.  "No, no!  Lydia honey - easy, it's not a wig!"
She gently removed the girl's tiny, but healthy grip.  Adrian laughed lightly.
'She is pretty!' he thought to himself.  He shifted a bit with the realization and looked away a bit.
Eventually, the mom came back for Lydia, thanking Adrian and Gail once again. 
They decided to do more exploring of the city, checking out museums, monuments and parks.  Adrian had never in his life been anywhere this exotic, he had to admit he was glad he had the chance to experience it.  Even with Gail.  Actually, Gail was turning out to be kind of fun to be with.
The sun was setting on Rio de Janeiro as the pair knew that they had little chance of finding Mike Moreno - and suddenly they didn't care. 
Stopping to check out a quaint shop along the street, there came something that made the cement under their feet seem to vibrate. 
"What's that?" Adrian asked, as Gail inspected a silk scarf on a rack.
"I don't know!" she said and they wandered out to the square.  The sounds of music playing loudly outside made Adrian wince a bit.  They looked up to see a group of dancing people progressing down the street.  "Oh my God, it's a street parade!!  How cool!"
"It's so loud!" Adrian whined.  She grabbed his hand.
"That's right, babe - it's loud and brassy - don't you love it?!" she replied.
"No!" he snarled.
The moving crowd of colourful dancers and finely costumed revellers strolled past them carrying banners as well as a moving parachute tent that rode above their heads like a snake down the street.  The drum beat was intoxicating, but Adrian just covered her ears thinking they might pop at any moment. 
Suddenly, a man with some drummers caught sight of Gail from the group and came running over to her.
"Senhora!  Would you care to dance with me?" he asked, his bushy moustached face curling upwards into a welcoming grin.  He was dressed in a bright, multi-colored shirt and tight form fitting pants.  He looked ready to party.  He offered his hand to her.
"Sure!" Gail giggled, pleased to be asked.
"Uno momento!" he said.  Swooping past her, he grabbed one of the scarves she had been previously admiring and wrapped it around Gail from below her waist.  He ushered her out further into the street with him.  "I will steal your wife only for a dance, sir!"
Adrian just waved at them to say it was quite alright and but stood to the side to watch them, just in case they wandered off.
He signalled the musicians he was with to start playing and he began to sing something in Portuguese, a catchy song that was picked up by some people over his shoulder - adding an immediate choir.  Gail started dancing to the beat - rotating her hips with the man's movement of the scarf, so that she did indeed look like Shakira.
Or Charo, mused Adrian. 
He was curious as he watched her hips move and she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. He smiled as the beat picked up and she was still moving expertly along with the man as the drum rhythm started growing in intensity and she was still moving at a furious pace.  Her ponytail shook as her waist moved faster and the man gradually brought her out in the open more so they had an audience cheering her on.
Adrian felt goosebumps as he saw how many people were admiring 'his wife'.  He giggled as she threw back her head and laughed - having a great time.  Despite himself, his eyes fell onto her hips and butt moving to the rhythm - keeping time with the music.  He was amazed how talented a dancer she was.  He could feel his pulse begin to quicken as he watched her movements, and his eyes trained on her. 
Then, the man let her go, she swiped her brow with the back of her hand.  He bent down, kissed her hand and then sneaked a kiss to her lips.  She smiled, replied thank you and went back to Adrian.
"Whew!  That was fun!  But, you're coming with me this time, sugar buns!  Let's go!" she said, bending down to take his hands in hers.
He tried to pull away, but she urged him to stand.
"Come with me or I'll leave you here all alone in the crowd, Adrian - your choice!  If you do me anything during this trip - just for once - try and have fun!  Please!" she begged, stopping to look up at him.  Her healthy, flustered face was hard to resist.
"OK!" he whispered.
"Yeah!!" she cried, and leaned up to give his cheek a kiss.  He was about to wipe it away but then stopped himself.  'Fun!' he chastised himself.  'Fun isn't using a wipe!  Yes, it is!  No - relax damnit!'
She held onto his hand and he wasn't about to let her go, as they filtered into the crowd steadily moving along to the coast. 
As they wandered along, lightly dancing with the group, someone came up and tapped on Gail's shoulder.  Adrian and Gail turned to a beautiful, blonde woman with an even lovelier smile - it was Shakira!
"I just had to tell you, honey - I love your outfit!" she said, stroking Gail's arm.
"Oh my God!  Thank you so much!  I'm like - a big fan!" Gail said and looked in awe.
"Thank you, that's sweet of you - have a great time, you two!!"
Shakira reached up and grasped Adrian's arm for a moment, smiling at him before moving off into the crowd again.
"Who was that?" Adrian asked, baffled at the woman's appearance and Gail's reaction.  He had to admit she was gorgeous.
"What do you mean 'who was that?' - That was Shakira!" Gail said.
It still didn't register.
"She's like probably one of Brazil's most famous singers - "
Nothing!
"You're hopeless!  I can't believe it - she liked my outfit!" she giggled and seemed on cloud nine.
"Actually, it's not really yours - so she was complimenting two people!" Adrian teased. 
"Oh shut up!" she chastised, lightly.  But, she was much too happy to care.  She began to dance to the music playing around them.  She tried to urge Adrian to, but he just stumbled along with her.  "Try it!"
She led him off to the side. 
"Here, I'll teach you some simple moves!"
"I can dance, Gail!" he growled, looking unnerved to have people watching him.  But, in fact, they hardly noticed them.  "Everyone is looking!"
"So what.  OK, if you can - show me!"
"Here??"
"Yes, here!  Come on - let's see what you've got!"
He just shook his head.  She tried to grasp his waist with her hands but he jumped back from her. 
"Just two steps?  Fun?" she reminded him.
He stuck his foot out and shook it.
"I thought you said you knew how to dance?  You don't know how to dance!" she replied, scoffing at him and turning away.
"Reverse psychology isn't going to work, Gail!" he replied.
He could see her downcast face then and knew it meant a lot to her.  He began to play along and move his hips a bit to the rhythm.  She tried hard to suppress a giggle as she applauded.
"That's it!" she answered him.
He laughed at himself a bit, and the fact he could felt good. 
"Now, come on, let's go enjoy the parade!" she said and they went back into the throng.
As they slipped under the huge parachute tent, they found Shakira again coming up to them.  She urged Adrian to dance for her, and as he did, she slid down in front of him, slowly rising seductively up in front of him.  Her hands on his hips as she gyrated her own hips in time with the music.  It was almost lewd as Adrian squirmed in embarrassment.  Gail was just laughing herself silly as she watched them.  Shakira slipped him a kiss and then disappeared into the crowd to dance with someone else.
Lydia was overjoyed when she found her new friend Gail and she picked up the little girl in her arms.  She stretched her up a bit so that she could touch the fabric of the melon-coloured canopy of the parachute high above their heads.  Adrian slowed his pace for a minute to watch them.  Gail's radiant face seemed to soak up the colors of the parade and she seemed to be like a little girl again herself.  He felt the sounds of the people around him and the musicians drown out as he stared at her giggling with the girl in her arms.
Suddenly, the Gail Fleming he knew, the obnoxious sister of Sharona seemed to vanish and someone else he was only beginning to grow to understand and care about took her place.  She smiled over at him, her face warm and inviting as she coaxed him to come over to them.
"Help me lift her up to reach the top!" she asked.
He didn't hesitate as he balanced the small girl up on one of his arms and Gail the other.  As they lifted the tiny tot skywards, Adrian slid his arm around Gail's waist to hold them steady.
Gail stood closer to Adrian and as the little girl squealed in delight, touching the silk fabric with her fingertips - Gail and Adrian looked into one another's eyes for a moment, their faces only inches away.
"You're so tiny!  I can almost fit you into my pocket!" He joked lightly, as he glanced down at her.  She smiled at him, her face turning rosy as she could feel his breath against her cheek.  "I'm having fun."
"Me too," she replied and slowly their faces inched even closer to one another.
Just then, a loud noise startled them.  They sprang apart, still holding Lydia but waking them to their senses once more.  They realized just how close they had come to doing something they might both regret and how easy it had been.  What had just happened?
Nervously, Adrian and Gail looked at one another - but the expression in their face made it clear that something had changed.  It wasn't a bad thing, just it felt a bit strange.  Gail bounced Lydia for a moment before setting her down on the ground. 
"Go on and find your mom, Lydia!" Gail said, bending over to hug the little girl. 
"Bye!!" Lydia sang, and waved as left the couple
"Want to maybe get something to eat?" Gail whispered as she gazed up at Adrian.
"Sure!" He said, softly.  "I think I worked up an appetite!"
Gail just laughed.  "It's all that dancing!"
He giggled at her, and taking his hand - they ducked out from under the parachute and walked off for another cafe down the street.

 
(That evening, Gail and Adrian found a pristine little cafe with nice music to have a light dinner and enjoy an espresso on the terrace):

They sat together at a small table outside, watching the sun setting off in the distance.  The sky turned a golden shade as the sound of the surf caressed their ears.  Adrian closed his eyes, enjoying good company as they could sense staff starting to clean up for the night.  All the tourists were leaving, except some couples walking hand in hand together on the beach.  Some of them played in the tide, kicking at the water and laughing together in their own private joy.  How beautiful it was.
There was something so inviting about this time of the day, when the day was exchanging for the coming dawn. 
Gail glanced over at him, watching him as his eyes were languidly focussed on the horizon.  How dark they were, she noticed the his thick and wispy eyelashes heavy upon his cheek as a bit of his ebony curls blew lightly in the warm breeze.  He nestled his coffee cup in his hands, playing absently with the porcelain feel under his fingertips.  His skin seemed so golden in the orange tones of the setting sun, almost like he was from here.  She smiled, he was such a handsome man.  She wondered if anyone had told him that of late - and then, she remembered - she had. 
He looked up to find her watching him.  She didn't avert her stare, instead she just grinned with a sense of peace about her.  A lock of her flaxen hair blew across her brow and her lovely smile seemed to light up her face as her amber eyes seemed to reach out to him.  She moved her hand across the table and for a moment ran her fingers lightly across the back of his hand.  He didn't move away.
Neither of them said anything, there was just no need to.  The solitude of the moment was what they needed now.  To soak up the splendour of Rio at night.  She left her hand resting on top of his as they returned their eyes to the gorgeous scene before them.
"Excuse me, but we must close - I'm sorry!' Said the waiter, who came up behind them.
Adrian turned around, and got set to pay him for their meal.
"Want to go for a walk?" Gail asked him, as she gathered up her belongings and finished off her espresso.
"On the beach - with the sand?" He asked, hesitantly.  He gave the waiter a tip and followed her from the safety of the cafe to the edge of the terrace in the dusk.
Gail just shook her head and kicked off her sandals.  She carried them in her hand and slung her purse over one shoulder.  "You'll be with me.  I'll fight off any sand bogeymen for you!"
He gave her a smarmy look. 
"Forget it," she said.  She walked off on her own down the wooden stairs to the beach, hoping that for possibly once he was coming around, but obviously not.
"Gail!" He called out to her as she had started making her way down into the sand below him.  "Ask me again!"
She grinned knowingly.  But, instead of saying anything - she just held out her hand to him instead.
Coming down the stairs, he took her hand in his, but stopped to kick off his shoes and socks.  He carried them in his opposite hand and they ventured down onto the beach further to admire the surf close up.
"I'm proud of you, Adrian!" She whispered to him softly, as she leaned in a little closer to him while they walked.
 
(Gail and Adrian returned to the ship before it disembarked sometime in the early morning hours - around 1-2AM):

Both were plenty tired by the time they flopped down in bed.  Adrian had no qualms about sharing the bed tonight, he was too tired to care.  He did spend his average twenty minutes in the bathroom after Gail had used it, coming out in nice silk, grey pyjamas that Gail hadn't seen him in before.
"My God - are you wearing someone else's pjs, honeybunny - say it isn't so!"
"I can't sleep in my clothes all the time, Gail and because I don't have my own - I borrowed them," he said, trying to appear nonchalant - but she was unduly impressed.
She herself sat in a lovely bright red, silk nightgown that revealed her better assets. It looked brand new.
"Don't you just feel a little illicit wearing someone else's clothes?" she said, smirking at him.  She placed the novel she still was reading through on her lap as she sat up in bed.
"A little.  Ready to get some sleep?" he asked.
"Yep!  Are you going to join me up top this time?  Under the covers?" she asked, looking questioningly at him.
"I think I'm ready - yes!"
Gail smiled, she couldn't believe it was such an ordeal - such a simple thing.
"Good!  I swear though, I'm not sure if I can sleep - what an amazing day!  I can't stop thinking about it!" she sighed and grinned broadly.
"I admit it - it was!"
"Could we stay up and talk for a bit - or are you too tired?"
He looked a little nervous now, as he crawled in under the blankets on the left side of the bed beside her.  As he stretched out on the pillow, he glanced up at her. 
"Why?  What do you want to talk about?"
"I don't know - I mean, whatever - just chat!"
"At two in the morning?" He asked, he thought she had flipped.
"Why not!  If I bore you, you can just go to sleep!" She said.
He closed his eyes in reply.
She poked him, angrily.  "Hey!"
"Alright!  Do you want to talk of the current economic situation in the former war torn Yugoslavia or who you think the most likely successor of mayor of New York City will be?" He teased.
She gave him a dirty look.  "Come on, I want to get to know you a bit.  Can't you be nice."
He sat there mute and grinned.
"That's better!" She snarled.  "OK - I tell you what - you confess something about yourself and I'll confess something about Sharona!"
"Gail!" He admonished.
"Oh, you're no fun!"
"I danced for you today - that was fun!"
She spun her finger in the air as to say 'big whoop!'
He turned over to go to sleep and ignore her.  She rolled her eyes and gave up.  Slumping down in bed, she switched off the light.
It was quiet for a few minutes, then Adrian spoke.
"So how did you get such a big apartment living alone?  What do you do for a living?"
She smiled, her back to him.  They didn't turn to face one another as she answered him.
"I didn't buy it myself, I was a hairdresser for years.  It was Hal Meyer's place actually!"
"There's a surprise!"
"Adrian!" She said, admonishing him this time.  "We lived together there for about five years.  He was so sweet, he drove me across town from my tiny place and then at the corner he covered my eyes with his hands.  He led me down the street and asked me what I wanted for my birthday.  When he uncovered them, there was the apartment."
"He bought you an apartment?  Wow!"
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.  I miss him..."
"What happened?" Adrian asked, softly.
"You know - I don't know.  One day, he said he was coming by a little late and he never showed up.  He never called, nothing.  Just stopped coming all together!  I later found out he had taken up someone else.  Out of guilt he helps pay the rent on the apartment.  Once he came by to pick up some effects, he told me he missed me and then I never saw him after that."
"You miss him?"
"Sometimes, other times it's easier."
She became quiet.
"Do you miss Trudy?" She asked, finally.
"All the time, I try not to let it - but I do.  Though, anytime I go anywhere or do anything - she's there, even if not physically - you know?"
His voice broke and he too was quiet.
"I know, me too!"
"It's nice being able - " he started to say, and then stopped short.  "To share a bed with someone..."
"Yeah!" She whispered.  "It just feels good."
Suddenly, there was a movement in the bed and she realized Adrian had turned over to face her.  Gail caught her breath for a moment in her throat, she didn't dare move.  She was scared he'd turn away again.  Softly, his hand reached out to her and she felt him touch the middle of her back.  The natural response caused her to jump a bit.
"Sorry."
"It's OK, that feels nice," she replied.
His touch became more gentle as he stroked her back and hair with his fingers, she could feel them trembling as they came in contact with the skin of her bare shoulders.  He played with the strap of her gown in curiosity. 
She wiggled back a bit to come a little closer to him.  Finally, she turned to him.  Sitting up, she lifted her gown up over her head.  She sat naked before him.  Now, he looked spooked.  She hoped she hadn't done the wrong thing.  He lay there, motionless as she tenderly began to undo the buttons on the front of his pyjamas, one by one.  Rolling a little closer, she nestled her cheek against the dark hair that covered his chest.  Adrian couldn't breath for a moment, his hands began to shake uncontrollably.
"You're safe," she whispered, "I'm here!  It's just us."
Feeling her words lull him, he very slowly folded her naked body into his arms and closed his eyes.  She slipped her hands underneath his pyjama top and wrapped her arms around his bare back and murmured at the warmth of him against her.  He could feel her breasts brush against his stomach and so he sheltered her closer.
Maybe it was the intoxication of the warm summer air that had gotten to him, the seduction of the day they had spent or even the coconut water from earlier.  Whatever it was, he didn't seem to mind anymore, he felt the most calm he'd felt in years and he realized how beautiful it was to hold a woman in his arms again.  He was happy to find it was Gail.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Lazar!"
"Goodnight, Mr. Lazar!" She said, softly and closed her eyes - feeling sleep welcome her.

(The next morning, down in the main lounge):

Gail was up early, feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  It didn't take her long to track down Dylan again.  As they wandered about looking for something to do while Adrian and Maggie still remained asleep in their prospective staterooms - they found a large, abandoned grand piano.
"Care for a little tickle of the ivories?" Dylan asked her.
Gail smiled.  "I say, Mr. Thomason - are you coming on to me!"
"Well, if I did, gorgeous - I'd use a much better line than that.  Actually - that was a good line!  Oh bother!"
He grinned and invited her to sit down at the piano with him.  He looked very at home as he began to play, like he'd done it all of his life.  Starting to sing some silly little 1930's jazz number to her, she listened to him in amusement.
"Know any of the words, Ms. Fleming?  You may pick up the verse anytime!"
"You'll have to teach me!" She replied. 
Suddenly, someone entered the empty lounge with them.  Gail glanced up to see a familiar face - Giles.
"Sir, I just phoned downstairs - they have your outfit for the party tonight!"
"Hi Giles," Gail answered, coolly, she didn't seem to be happy to see him and Giles felt it immediately.
"Madame," he answered, equally formal.
"Oh say, what is this - you act like you've just met!  What's wrong?" Dylan asked, spying their reactions.  Neither of them seemed ready to divulge what they knew.  "Ah, I see - leaving me in the dark.  Fine, but be warned, I shall find the source of this singular disagreement sooner or later!"
"Excuse me, Dylan - I was wondering if I could have a word with Giles for a moment..." Gail asked, trying to move down the piano bench to get up.
"What?  There are no secret amongst friends - you can talk to him in front of me!" Dylan insisted and started playing again.
Gail grimaced and Giles looked off into the distance in uneasy silence.
"Well, come on now!" Dylan insisted.  "Spill your guts you two!  You're not having an affair, are you?"
"Dylan!" Gail snarled.
"A little giggle and goose below the buffet table now and again?" Dylan persisted.
"Sir!" Giles scolded.  "I really must protest this line of questioning."
"You know what, Giles!  He's right!  I have nothing to hide - how about you?"
Giles looked at her in shock.  He gulped slightly as he moved a bit in place, trying to hide his discomfort.
"No Madame!" He replied.
"Good - so you wouldn't mind telling me why I saw you leaving a church with Mike the other day?" She said, and stared at him point-blank.
"You married Mike, Giles!!  I don't believe it - congratulations old man!"
"I'm sorry to say that I and Mr. Moreno did not seal our destinies yesterday, sir!"
"Then what are we talking about here?" Dylan asked, he looked blankly at Gail.
"Why don't you tell him, Giles?" Gail said, totally side tracking Dylan's ignorant comments.
"Madame, I admit - I was in the company of Mr. Moreno.  He called me earlier in the day and asked me to meet him at the main cathedral in town.  But, he did not tell me further the reason why.  I awaited him in the alcove and met him at the door.  He said he was being pursued, I noticed you and Mr. Monk as we left.  I took him back to the ship.  Hence he left my company, but would not tell me where he was going.  That is all."
"He never gave you more information than that?  That's all you remember?" She said, sounding herself like Adrian now.
"Yes, Madame... that is all."
She shook her head.  "I'm not buying it!"
"I'm sorry to hear that, Ms. Fleming - but it is a fact, unfortunately."
"What are we talking about?" Dylan asked, but didn't get a response.
He told you nothing else?  Nothing about the murder?" Gail questioned once more.
"No, Ms. Fleming, he remained tight lipped!"
"Well, I'll just have to call Captain Stottlemeyer then and see what he suggests!" Gail threatened and fished out her trusty cell.
"Captain Stottle -" Dylan said.
Giles interrupted him this time.  "Madame, there is no need for that.  What I tell you now is all I know.  Please do not involve the cops somewhere where they are not needed.  I am protecting Mr. Moreno it's true.  But, he still refuses to trust me completely and take me into his confidence!  I am sorry I don't have more to tell you.  I wish I could help him as much as I would like to help you."
"Did he ever talk to you of wanting to commit suicide?" She asked.
"On occasion, it has been brought up - but, he wouldn't do it any longer, he's given his heart and soul to God.  He considers suicide a sin."
Gail nodded.  She felt satisfied with that.
"I'm sorry to grill you, Giles. We're just trying to help.  I hope sincerely he didn't do anything wrong!"
"Thank you, Ms. Fleming!"
"Alright, not that I understood any of that - but we need to practice!" Dylan interrupted.
"Practice for what?" Gail asked, sitting up and turning to him in curiosity.
"For the theme night in three day's time.  Don't tell me no one has told you yet - it's a 1930's Circa Party.  It's all the rage!!"
"Really, sounds like fun!" Gail said, her eyes lighting up.
Dylan smiled at her.  "Can you sing?"
"Me?!" She asked.
"Yes, are you musically inclined?  We could use a second soprano!  My wife is fantastic, but tends to get frustrated by the third act!  Who knows - we may even be able to entice Mr. Personality to join in!"
Gail just laughed at the ludicrous suggestion.  "Don't hold your breath!"
"Where is your little love muffin, by the way?"
"Gone to the world - still asleep in bed!"
"Ah!  I knew it - I knew you two were a couple - I could see it a mile away!" Dylan said, nudging her.
"No, no - we're not - well - umm - no!!" She answered, though she herself was unsure what they were anymore.  Their relationship was hard to pin down.
"Alright, I won't rib you anymore, except to say there is a nice glow about you�even more so than usual!"
She touched her cheeks and grinned.  It was true, she felt flush.  "Thank you."
"So, what shall we practice first?  I know - how about '47 Ginger-Headed Sailors'?!"
Giles walked up to the piano, looking visibly blanched.
"Sir, if I might make a suggestion�?"
"Of course, Giles - your opinion is always valued - go ahead!  Suggest away!" Dylan answered.
"Thank you, sir.  Would it not be better possibly to try the light-hearted melody of 'Oh By Jingo!', it might be preferable in front of the young lady!"
"Young lady?" Giggled Gail.  "Thank you, Giles!"
"You're quite welcome, Ms. Fleming!"
"Well, since we are missing our other cogs in the wheel - would you be so good as to accompany us, Giles?!" Dylan asked his butler, stroking the keys lightly with his fingertips.
"Yes, Giles!  Come on!" Gail replied.
Just as Giles was about to cleverly object, they were joined in the lounge by another observer - Adrian.  He looked clean and smart in a simple brown tweed jacket, white polo shirt and dark brown Dockers.  Much more casual than usual - obviously borrowed attire from David Lazar's closet.
Gail smiled at him as he came over to them at the piano.
"Ah!  If it isn't the famous Monk, Adrian!" Dylan sang and played a little impromptu tune on the keys.
"Adrian Monk!" He corrected.  "Gail, I've been looking all over for you!"
"Little lonely in bed, was it?" Dylan asked, being bold as usual.
Adrian just ignored him.  He turned to Gail.
"You were?  How sweet!" Gail said, blushing again.
For a long time Adrian and Gail just looked at one another in silence, and then looked away nervously.
"I hear wedding bells!" Dylan taunted.
Gail had had enough, angered she hauled off and hit his shoulder hard.
"Oww!  That hurt!" He whined.
"Good!" Gail snarled.
"Whoever called them the 'gentler sex' had no idea what they were talking about!"
Giles smiled for a second to himself.
"You look nice!" Gail whispered.
"Thank you!" Dylan answered.  Gail gave him a nasty look.
"I meant Adrian!" She snarled.
Adrian giggled a bit.  "So do you!"
It was true - she had changed into a lovely little white summer dress of a light, shimmery fabric that was covered with a design of blue birds and tied around her waist.  She had on her own sandals and Adrian looked down to admire her pretty, little, pink toenails peeking out.
"Umm - you look - ah - summery!" He whispered.
They just gazed at each other again, in quiet admiration before Dylan interrupted them.
"I say, now that that has been firmly established - what say we practice the dance number?  Adrian - you can be the baritone!"  Dylan replied, not waiting for a response from him - he began to play.
"Dance - number?" He asked, fearful at what he'd gotten himself into.  Then, he finally saw Giles standing next to him.  He hadn't even noticed - he'd been so focussed on Gail the whole time.  "Goodmorning, Giles.  I'm surprised to find you here!"
"Goodmorning sir - yes, I had a change of heart!"
Adrian looked at him, wearily.  "Really, in what way?"
Dylan seemed angry as he stopped playing.  "Hey now, no talking over the solo part - you'll soon get your turn!"
But, Adrian again just ignored him.  "Giles, can you please take me to speak to Mike?"
Giles nodded.  "Certainly, sir - this way!"
As they proceeded to walk off, Adrian turned to Gail. "Are you coming?"
"Yup, after you!" She said and they walked out of the lounge and on Dylan.
"What about the song?" He cried.  "That's it - I'm coming too!  I'm tired of being left out of everything!"

(They entered the lower decks in the bowels of the great ocean liner.  Down to Mike Moreno's shared cabin):

"He should be awake by now, sir.  I'll just see if he's in!" Giles replied, stately and knocked on the metal door.
"Who is it?" someone said.  It sounded like an American accent.
"It's Giles, sir!  May we come in?"
"Sure, the door's open!" they called back.
Giles opened it to see a young man laying alone on his top bunk, reading a magazine - definitely not Mike Moreno.  Gail remembered him - it was Harry Preston.  She also had no trouble remembering how good-looking he was.
Dylan peered around him in disdain.  "You call this a room - looks more like a closet to me!  Why - say, if it isn't Harry!  How the heck are you?!"
"Hey, Dylan!  How's it hanging?  Giles - you just missed Mike - he just left!  Wait!  Hello, lovely lady - I remember you!  Gwen Lazar, right?  We don't get many ladies in these parts!" he said, sitting up at attention now.
"Actually, it's Gail - Gail Fleming!" she said, all smiles as she reached up to shake his hand.  "Oh - and this is my - umm - what are you again?"
Adrian looked at her insulted, Dylan started laughing.
"Private consultant!" Adrian snarled.  "Adrian Monk!"
"Glad to meet you!" Harry said and reached down for his hand.  Hesitantly, he took it.
After shaking it, Gail immediately fished him out a moist wipe from her purse.
"Sorry, I guess my hands get kind of sweaty down here!" Harry replied, watching him.  "Well, if you're looking for Mike - I can tell him you were by!"
"That would be great!"  Adrian replied, still wiping his fingers.  "And, can you tell him it's very important?"
"Will do, Captain!" Harry answered, winking at Gail for a moment.  "Now, if you don't mind - I've got to get changed for work.  Though, she can stay if she likes?"
Gail giggled like a nervous schoolgirl, Adrian just gave her a dirty look.  With that they left, Gail regretfully followed.

(The remainder of the day was quiet):

Gail called Sharona again to check up on things and fill her in on what was happening with them.  Adrian chatted only briefly with her.
They went down together for the buffet and he nearly knocked Gail into the pool when he spotted a bee in the strawberries.
But, those were the highlights.
Around four, Gail took a brief nap while Adrian polished the lamps in the other room.  They got a phone call from Dylan.
He told them to be downstairs in time for the gala and to dress to the nines.  There was dinner, dancing and fireworks at midnight.
Excited, Gail agreed before checking with Adrian first.
He, obviously, was hesitant to go - feeling uncomfortable at the mere though of a party.  But, Gail managed to sweet talk him into it.  Especially when Gail let it slip that Mike would be working tables that night.
She decided to help Adrian find something to wear, as she knew there was no way he was wearing tweed for the event!
Instead she found him a smartly-cut tux and tails with a white vest - but, he was adamant about no ties - so she found a collar pin that looked actually very sharp on him.
Gail knew immediately what she wanted herself as soon as she opened Gwen's closet.  Disappearing into the bathroom with it...

(An hour passes and no Gail, who is still in the bathroom):

Adrian was beginning to think she was taking up his bad habits as he glanced down impatiently at his watch.  He fidgeted with his cuff links and found a mirror over a side board.  He straightened his collar.
"Gail!  Hurry up!  We're going to be late!  The dinner starts at five!" he shouted, glancing over at the closed door.
"Just a minute!!" she screamed back.  "I need to put another pin in!  Damnit!  Oww!"
"Come on, please!!" he snarled and rolled his eyes.  As he adjusted his errant collar in obvious frustration - he ended up losing a cuff link.
Bending down to hunt for it, the bathroom door opens.
"Adrian!  Are you OK?  What's wrong?"
"I'm fine - I just -" he began to say when he happened to glance up to see her standing over him.  As he did, he found he was at an immediate loss for words.
Gail Fleming was absolutely stunning!
She had a fine dress of pure, black silk with a v-shaped neckline that was slightly off her soft shoulders.  Cinched a little at the waist it was surrounded by a lovely design of white vines and flowers that stood out strikingly against the charcoal color.  The full A-line skirt flared out and cascaded elegantly to the floor.  Behind her was a long, white taffeta and lace train that draped down from a corsage composed of white gardenias against the small of her back.  She had her arms covered by satin, white gloves and around her neck she wore a little black collar with a small diamond in its center at her throat.  Her flaxen hair was piled high atop her head in a beautiful French knot that curled under at the crown and was held in place by another arrangement of lily-white gardenias.  She looked like royalty.
"Gail!" he breathed in surprise.
"What?  You don't like it?  Too much?" she cried and looked away in discomfort.  She had tried so hard to be impressive this time.
There was only one woman in his life that had ever looked this lovely - and that was on her wedding day.
Slowly, he stood up before her, as he could see the look of doubt in her eyes.
"How could you possibly say that?  You look so beautiful!" he whispered, as tears began to flood his eyes and a warm smile came to his face.
She almost started to herself, as he took her hand in his and kissed her gloved fingers.  He pulled her a little closer to her and held both of her hands in his, he stroked the back of her hand with his.  They just stared at one another again.
"We better go, or we'll be late!" she whispered as she moved away a bit.
"Late for what?" he asked, as he held her hands tighter.  He stared into her amber eyes, lost in his own little world.
"The party!" she giggled.
"Oh - the party!" he replied, and then offered his arm to her, she took it proudly.  "Where did you get the flowers, by the way?  You didn't - pickpocket them?"
"Very funny!  No, the maids left them every morning - in this corsage formation - just for that reason!"
"And, your hair...?" he asked as they went out the door.
"I'm a hairdresser, Adrian - remember?  You know, it's no wonder we haven't solved this murder yet!" she groaned.
Adrian snarled, some things never change!

(The dimly-lit dining room was sumptuous with balloons and streamers, decorations everywhere adorned the walls to give it the impression of a New Year's Eve bash):

There were several tables all around a large, sound stage where a Las Vegas type show was being performed.  Adrian and Gail were joined as usual by Dylan, Maggie and Giles - as well as a couple of people they'd just met - Mark and Sophie.
Adrian felt uncomfortable with the noise, the laughing and the bawdy jokes being bandied about.  So, he reached underneath the tablecloth and intertwined his fingers with Gail's.  She looked over at him in surprise.
"You just talk to me, alright?" she whispered.  "I'll translate."
He was unsure what she meant, but soon she had him chuckling with her own jokes at Dylan and Maggie's expense that they were telling to the others.  No one had any idea of their secret, little conversations.  He held her hand a little more, comfortably resting it against his lap.
The meal was incredible, they both tried foods that they never had before - there was at least five courses.  The show was exciting with magicians and chorus girls.
As the evening went on, Adrian admired Gail more and more as he watched her laughing with everyone, passing around party favours and toasting the Thomasons.  Eventually, when the cognac came around - everyone was feeling pretty good.
"Almost midnight!  Grab your lady there, Adrian and we'll move out to the dance floor!" Dylan announced.
"Umm -" he said, nervously.
"Now, come on - I know you know how to dance!" Gail replied, taking his hand and lifting him from his chair.
As she led him out onto the dance floor beyond the tables, she tried to get him to relax just a little.
"Here, I'll show you what to do," she whispered, as she gazed up at him.  "You put your hand on my waist and�"
"Gail, I can do it myself!" he replied, gently taking her into his arms.  He took her right hand in his left and waited patiently for a tune to dance to.  Dylan stood nearby with Maggie in his arms, so he got his attention.  "Dylan, where's the music?"
"Just be patient, old friend - eager are we?" he winked.
Adrian wasn't quite sure what he meant until he heard Old Lang Syne playing from the stage halfway across the room.
Gazing down at Gail, he knew they hadn't moved to the dance floor for the foxtrot.  Gail looked visibly nervous as well.
"Maybe we should just go!" she whispered.
But, as they turned they spied Robert Gresco near the doors watching the crowds in obedient silence. They were stuck.
Dylan leaned in to whisper something else.  "Now, when the clock strikes twelve - you have to kiss her for each minute it chimes!"
He giggled, maliciously and turned to hug Maggie again, they began singing the famous song.
Adrian started fidgeting nervously as he looked up at a clock on the wall, he noticed Gresco's suspicious eyes were now trained on him.  He was trapped.
"We have to do this, Adrian!" Gail said, looking down at her feet.
She could hear him sigh loudly in disdain, like water torture would be preferable to this.  Then, he noticed Gresco leave.
"Oh thank God - he's gone!  Look!" Adrian said, glancing up at the door.  He smiled in relief.
Gail looked up at Adrian, her eyes full of pain as she pushed him away from her suddenly.  Lifting her skirts, she ran from the ballroom.
The clock began to chime.
Adrian didn't hesitate for possibly the first time in his life as he went running out after her.
Dylan and Maggie were too busy kissing to notice their absence.
Gail came out on deck, standing by the railing in the dark as hot, angry tears flooded her eyes.  She shivered as the chill of the night touched her skin.
She heard his footsteps running up behind her, but she refused to turn to face him.
"Leave me alone!" she snarled, her voice clearly breaking as she sobbed.
"Gail?  Why didn't you tell me -?" he whispered, approaching her slowly.  "Here, take my coat.  You'll freeze!"
"No, thank you," she answered, sourly and refused to take it.  "You probably think it was stupid that I  - nevermind - it doesn't matter anyhow..."
"Yes, it does!" he said, softly.  "It's not stupid."
Reaching out, he gently touched her shoulder and turned her to face him.  But, she couldn't look in his eyes now.
The chimes of the clock continued, but the singing sounded distant.
She stared at his feet.  There was another chime.
"You don't have to - no one is watching," she hissed, obviously bitter.
Without another word spoken, he put his fingers under her chin to raise her face to his, she looked deep into his amber eyes as he leaned down to meet her tender lips with his own.  It was amazingly gentle as she felt a spark go through her, she could scarcely believe it was happening.  His mouth was sweet and fragile as he lingered to taste her quivering lips for a moment.  Then, he drew away slowly.
"You're not scared?" she asked, her voice shaking.
"No," he replied, quietly. "Not anymore."
Another chime, once more he bent down and kissed her lips but a little more this time.  She moved her hands slowly up from her side to under his tuxedo jacket to draw him near to her.  She sank into his arms as he moved his own to embrace her shoulders.
They drew away, smiled for only a second, when another chime sounded.  She couldn't wait and this time brought him to her, her lips separated to welcome his kiss and her tongue lightly traced over his lips.  He cried a bit in her discovery.  His fingers pressed warmly against her soft skin as he pulled her into his arms even more.
This time they didn't separate for more than a second between the chimes as he bent her back and kissed her lips passionately, she moved hands from under his jacket to around his neck.  His lips separated now and she could feel his tongue slide across hers as he devoured her lips slowly.  The scent of him filled her as she buried her nose into his smooth cheek.  One hand escaped up to bury itself in his tight curls. 
They parted once more, as Gail smiled at him.
"Adrian!" she purred.
Another chime sounded, and again they drew together for a consuming kiss that they didn't want to end.  And, this time it didn't, as one after another the peels of the clock were heard but ignored by them. 
That's when the fireworks went off.  Loud pops and bursts didn't even faze Adrian Monk now.  He felt safe with her in his arms, the world be damned.
But, as they drew away for a breath, she giggled lightly.
"I kiss you and rockets go off!" she said.
He laughed with her for a moment and then brought her up against him, holding her tightly in his arms.  She embraced him softly with her hand still buried in his hair and closed her eyes.  He hid his face away in her shoulder and breathed in the sweet aroma of her.  Now he sighed, but in pleasure.  How wonderful and warm she was, so real.
"You feel so good, Gail!" he whispered into her ear, with the tip of his tongue he ran it along the smooth slope of her neck and down to her shoulder and kissed her there.
She moaned in delight.  "So do you!"
He could feel her nuzzling his ear, sucking a bit on the lobe and so he shut his eye, shuddering with the lovely sensation.  He squeezed her hard in his arms and just hugged her for a long time.
"Would you still like to make up for that dance we never had?" he asked her quietly, after they started coming down from the feeling they had just experienced a bit.
"I'd like that!" she whispered to him.
Smiling at one another, he let her go.  Taking her hand in his, he led her back to the ballroom.

(Half an hour later):

Gail and Adrian pretty much had the ballroom to themselves as everyone had since filtered off to wearily return to bed.  There were still people cleaning up, but they remained dancing alone on the dance floor. 
There was a Harry Connick Jr. song called "Where or When" playing over the speakers softly in the background. 
Adrian held her against him, she rested her head against his chest as she moved to his rhythm, basically letting him carry her along as she enjoyed the closeness of him.
She moved away from him for a moment as he did a little twirl of her in time to the song and then brought her back into the safety of his arms again.  He never knew a happiness like this in such a long time, or a peace like this.

It seems we stood and talked like this before
We looked at each other in the same way then
But I can't remember where or when

The clothes you're wearing are the clothes you wore
The smile you are smiling you were smiling then
But I can't remember where or when

Some things that happen for the first time
Seem to be happening again
And so it seems that we have met before
And laughed before and loved before
But who knows where or when 

Adrian laid his head on top of Gail's, she looked so small in his arms; 'like a little china doll', he mused as he smelt the aroma of the gardenias in her hair.  He kissed the top of her head, she murmured in pleasure.
As his mind drifted, he looked off in the distance and saw something odd...
"No, Trevor - don't mix the glasses!" a busboy chastised another.  "You can't mix them up, if you do we'll get in trouble!"
Adrian's eyes grew large, suddenly an unmistakable feeling struck him.  He knew what had happened to Mr. Tolkin - just like that!
"Gail!" he screamed.  He gently pushed her away from him.
"What?  What's wrong?" she cried, unable to fathom what could be more important than what they were sharing right now.
He took her pretty face between his large hands and kissed her lips fully with his.
Breaking away he said.  "I think I solved the crime!"
He kissed her again, overjoyed.   When he broke away this time, Gail was jumping up and down.  "Really?  Oh God!  This is terrific!  Yeah!!"
Excitedly, she hugged him heartily.  Then, kissed him once more.  
"Well, what are you waiting for - let's get out of here!" Gail exclaimed.
He didn't hesitate, taking her hand - they ran from the room.

(Down in the bottom of the ship, but this time heading for the kitchen):

"You're sure about this?" Gail confirmed as she followed him up the hall. 
"Yes, I'm certain.  It all makes sense to me now!" he said, and entered the galley - looking around him for a certain suspect. 
But, all that was around them were boxes and cans of food.
"Adrian, this isn't the kitchen - this is the food locker.  It must be further up the hall!"
There was a sound of someone walking outside and suddenly they went quiet, cowering back a bit in anticipation.
"Who do you think that is?  Is it Mike?" Gail whispered to Adrian.
"Shhh!" he scolded and hid her behind him.
Abruptly, the door they entered in from shut loudly and a click was heard.
"Oh my God, someone just locked the door!" Gail screamed.
"Damnit!" Adrian hissed and ran for the door, but it was like she had guessed - it was locked from the outside.  "Mike, is that you?!  Open the door!!  We know you didn't do it - we need to talk to you!  Open it, please!!"
Now the only sounds coming from the outside were footsteps going in the opposite direction.  Then, a hissing sound, like that of the air escaping into the room.
"Adrian - it's not a storage room - it's the freezer!!  We've got to get out of here!"
Adrian began hammering away on the door, but it did little good.
"We're going to die!" Gail lamented.
"No, we're not!  There has to be a way out of here!" he said, running around the perimeter of the freezer to find an escape route.
"I'm too young and beautiful to die!" she continued to say.
He looked back at her in disbelief.  "Gail, you're not going to die.  Now help me!"
She got up and came to where he was, that's when high above her she saw a small vent.
"What about that?  Maybe we can call for help!"
"Or crawl out..." Adrian said, turning to eye her.
"Why are you looking at me that way?" she cried and moved away from him.
"It might be our only choice!" he said, shrugging sheepishly like it was nothing.
"Five minutes ago, you acted like I was the most wonderful woman in the world to you and now you're ready to shove me in some tiny little rat hole!"
"You said tiny and little..." he corrected.
She gave him a critical look.  "So?"
"It's redundant!"
"So are you!" she hissed.  The charm had already worn off.  "Look, I can't go up there!"
"Well, at least you'll die beautiful and young..." he retorted.
"I said young and beautiful, actually!" she replied, smiling sarcastically.
"Oh, shut up!" he growled.
She stood with her hands on her hips and looked at him.  "Alright - hoist me up then!  I'm doing this for you, remember that if I don't make it back!"
"Thank you, I'll create a memorial in loving memory of you!"
"Damn straight you better!" she warned.  "Lift me up!"
"You're going to -"
"I might if you keep giving me grief!" she snarled.
He finally moved to place his hands below her foot, after all, he'd gone through this with Sharona.  Of course - this was not her...
He used all of his strength to give leverage to the diminutive Gail, she quickly grabbed the vent cover and tossed it down.  It nearly hit Adrian on the head.
"Hey, watch it, be careful where you're tossing things!" Adrian yelled up at her.
"Sorry, touchy touchy - up a bit more, I've almost got it!"
He lifted her a bit more and she finally was able to fit herself into the narrow vent opening and get her torso through. 
"OK!  Push the rest of me in, Adrian!" she called out, her butt and legs dangling in mid air.  She hung onto the sides of the vent shaft for dear life to make sure she didn't fall back out.
Adrian reached up, but found it fairly awkward with her in her full length evening gown.  He tried to be discreet as he sought a spot to shove her in, he couldn't touch there, oh that's showing - no not there!
He started to try to move her skirt around her bare legs and to cover her exposed derriere.  He couldn't help but notice the little flowered panties she had underneath.  The skirt was proving to be difficult to fold underneath of her because of the stiff nylon skirt to keep its shape.  As he fought with it, it bounced back even more.  He tried desperately to fold it around her but it ballooned out like a tent.
"What the hell are you doing back there?!  Adrian, give me a push!!  I'm falling out!  For the love of God!  Adrian!!"
He kept messing with her gown.
"Adrian!!" she screamed.  She was quickly losing her grip on the interior walls.
He suddenly in desperation, grabbed her butt in his hands and shoved her hard up into the vent.
"Ahh!!  Oww!  Damn - is that any way to treat your wife?!" she hissed.
"You are not my wife, Gail!" he replied, loudly and then under breath.  "Thank God!"
"I heard that!"
Suddenly, Gail went quiet.
"Are you OK?"
"No," she said, her voice trembling.
"Why - what happened?!" Adrian asked, worried about her now.
"I can't do this!" she cried.
"Are you stuck?"
"Not exactly.  Umm... there was something I neglected to tell you... I'm claustrophobic!" she answered, her knees were visibly shaking.
"You?  Phobic?" he said, smiling to himself.
"Oh sure, you just loved that little bit of trivia, didn't you?  I'm sure I'll never live that down!  But, this isn't funny - I - I can't move!  I'm scared."
"It's OK, Gail.  Just breath slowly!" he coached, standing close to where she was.  He began to stroke her leg.  She started to giggle.  "What's so funny?"
"I'm ticklish there!" she answered.  "OK, I feel better.  I'm going to try again!"
Suddenly, the door to the freezer opened.  Adrian turned to face Giles entering the room with his arm around Mike.
"Giles!" Adrian said, relieved.
"Giles is out there?!  Oh thank God!  Giles!!"
"Madame?  Please don't feel the need to show your gratitude in your current situation!" he said, grimacing a bit.  Gail looked like a wall mount.  Adrian turned and covered her exposed derriere with the skirt again.

(Outside in the warmth of the kitchen):

Gail and Adrian warmed themselves with a steaming cup of coffee and a blanket around them to share.  The four sat around the large cutting table at one end of the kitchen, while staff were cooking and clean on the far right hand side.
"So that's my whole story, Mr. Monk.  I'm so grateful to get it out in the open at last.  I didn't mean to be so much trouble!" Mike explained as he sat down across from them.  "It was Giles that convinced me to at last come to you!  I'm sorry I locked you in the freezer, I guess I just panicked.  I wouldn't have left you in there, I went to tell Harry to come get you out - but Giles was there waiting for me and brought me back here."
Adrian spoke up.  "I believe you, Mike - there's no need to explain further."
"But, I murdered a man!" Mike complained, he stood up to pace the room.
"Actually, I think it's just the guilt that leads you to believe that, Mike.  You were involved with Mr. Tolkin after you broke up with Giles.  Deciding that you wanted to reinvent yourself in Tolkin, you followed him blindly into a life of crime because you so wanted to impress him.  But, when you started getting a conscience - you wanted out.  You wanted to go back to your peaceful and happy life with Giles, but you hesitated.  Your days of adventure were over.  Tolkin, on the other hand, didn't take it lightly..." Adrian explained to his captive audience.
"That's right - he was very possessive of me.  He always accused me of seeing other people.  But, it wasn't true!" Mike explained, a saddened look in his eyes.
"It was during this time you contemplated suicide off and on, you were unhappy with your life and thought it was your only solution!  That's what Tolkin was counting on.  Then, you found religion and didn't want to kill yourself anymore - Tolkin knew that meant you would be going back to Giles for sure this time.  But, Tolkin was selfish - if he couldn't have you, no one would.  So he drugged your drink to make it seem like a suicide as everyone knew in the restaurant you worked in that you had tried it twice before unsuccessfully."
Mike Moreno lowered his head.  Giles put his arm around him.
"So why did Tolkin die then?" Gail asked, looking over at Adrian at her shoulder.
"Because he drank the wrong drink!"
"You mean - he drank his own poison?" Gail asked.
"Exactly.  I couldn't quite piece together how the switch happened, until I noticed tonight how easy a mistake could have been made if the glasses were identical.  It must have been a bus boy or a cook that mixed them up.  Tolkin drank it himself and when we saw him choking in the restaurant - well, the rest you know..."
"Wow!" Gail said.  "So you see Mike - you're innocent!"
Mike smiled at her and then held out his hand to Monk.
This time Adrian took it in gratitude. 
"You saved my life in more ways than I can even begin to explain.  Thank you, Mr. Monk and to you - Ms. Fleming!"
He kissed Gail's hand in turn.
"I'm glad to help, Mike."
Giles came around and leaned over to kiss Gail's cheek and then, surprised Adrian by kissing his as well.
"Thank you, Adrian!  Thank you, Gail!" 
"You're welcome!" Adrian replied, smiling warmly.
They returned later on that same day to explain matters to Dylan and Maggie.  The only thing Dylan replied was...
"Good, now we can practice for theme night!"

(That night as Gail and Adrian lay in bed together):

There was a supreme satisfaction and hard to lose smile on Adrian Monk's face, as he chatted with her softly into the wee hours.  But, it was the last thing he said that struck a chord with her.
"Just to think, in a couple of days' time - we'll return home and everything will be back to normal!"
Gail felt the words cut through her, as tears escaped to her eyes.  She hated to confess that she had had the most fun she'd ever had in her life on this trip.  Not to mention, she found she liked being with him!  Something she herself wasn't expecting.
He could hear her crying next to him.
Rolling over to face her, he could make out her features in the light of the moon shining in through their port window.
"Gail, what is it?  Why are you crying - we're going home!" he whispered, touching her cheek softly with his fingertips.
"Yeah, to watch the wallpaper peel!" she groaned, he wiped her tears away.  "I love it here - I love - I like being with you!"
He grinned.  "Oh Gail, I love it here too..."
That's all he would say.
"Adrian!" she hissed and playfully hit his arm.
"And, I like you too!" he confirmed.  "I'm glad I got a chance to know a different side of Gail Fleming!"
"Especially tonight!" she joked.
"Yes, nice panties!" he said, giggling.  He leaned forward and warmly kissed her tender lips with his.  He urged her closer and brought her into his arms, she grinned as she rested her head on his chest.  She laid her arm across his stomach as he sighed happily.  "I'm glad you're with me!"
"So am I!" she said.  "So do you still think this trip is comparable to the Poseidon Adventure?"
He just laughed as she did.  Soon, they drifted effortlessly into sleep safely in one another's arms.

(The theme party the next day aboard the ship):

As a thank you to Adrian Monk and Gail Fleming, the party was named in their honour.  It was a terrific bash that Dylan managed to orchestrate.  Gail and Adrian even attended in traditional 1930's attire.  Dylan persuaded them to launch champagne corks into the crowd with a slingshot.  Yet, when Adrian accidentally struck Gresco, he ducked behind a nearby table.
Afterwards, everyone - even Adrian - got up on stage for a rousing rendition of 'Oh by Jingo!'  All which Dylan managed to get someone to capture it on tape, unbeknownst to Adrian.  Gail and Maggie were totally campy and even Giles provided backup. The second part was all the rage, and they got a standing ovation.

(Two days later, the Holland America ship docks back in the San Francisco harbour):

Dylan, Maggie and Giles said fond farewells to Adrian and Gail.  Giles was joined by Mike, who smiled for the first time since they met him.  They were going to try a relationship again.
Dylan asked for Adrian's address and phone number, but he fudged a little on the numbers.  Gail didn't on hers.
Returning to Gail's apartment together in a taxi, Sharona and Benjy were waiting for them by the door when the pair arrived with open arms.
Sharona immediately began to fuss over Adrian like a mother hen.  "I was so worried about you!  Are you OK?  Gail treated you right, didn't she?"
Adrian came inside and never realized how good it felt to be on familiar turf before.  "Sharona, I'm fine!  Gail and I got along alright!"
Gail smiled.  "Oh, yeah - you bet we did!"
She hugged Sharona and messed up Benjy's hair, affectionately.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sharona asked, suspiciously.
"Nothing!" Adrian said, trying to appear innocent.
"Oh sure - you see me naked - and it's nothing?!" Gail said, her hands on her hips.
Adrian covered his eyes.  "Gail!"
"What?!" Sharona screamed in disbelief.
"It was just a joke she was playing before we went to bed!" he muttered, nonchalantly.  He gulped when he realized how he had phrased it.  "That didn't come out right!"
Benjy looked uncomfortable.  "I think I'm going outside to play for a bit!"
Sharona didn't move a muscle as Benjy breezed past her, she had her arms across her chest in anger - a little thread of jealousy rippling through her.  Gail knew it.  "You slept together?"
"Do you know he had this really cute mole on his lower back?" Gail teased.
"We had to share a bed - we didn't do anything!" Adrian said, though he now was clearly flustered.
"We most certainly did!  What are you talking about?!" Gail continued.  Adrian was about ready to crown her.
"We - slept - together!!" Adrian hissed.
"Wow - you sure love to emphasize the fact, don't you?!" Gail replied.
Sharona was fuming, as her eyes looked full of betrayal.
"I can't believe the both of you!"  She said, stomping her foot.  "I'm here, pacing the floors - not sure if you might be in mortal danger or not and what do you do...?"
Adrian looked down at his feet in shame, and then noticed something different about Sharona.  "Are those new shoes?"
She knew she'd been found out, she glanced away nervously.
"So what if they are?" she said, her voice trembling.
There was a silence, which Gail just had to break through.
"What - you're not going to tell her about the kiss too?" she blurted out.
Sharona growled in frustration and stalked off, cursing to herself.
"You've got a big mouth, you know that?!" Adrian said, angrily at Gail and looked at her in a less than flattering way.
"Well, you would know.  Oh, relax - I was just playing with her, I'll apologize after and tell her the truth.  But, you have to admit - it was funny!  Especially when you saw those shoes she just bought..."
Adrian couldn't help but smile at the thought, it was amusing.
"You know - I bet she bought those just because I had them.  They're just like exact replicas of my Italian ones I lost.  She's always got to show me up!  She's probably envious!"
"Yeah, I'm sure that's it!" he snarled.  "And, this whole little production you just put on - that had nothing to do with it?"
"Alright, maybe just a little," she answered, meekly.
He wouldn't look at her now, so she came up to him and touched his arm tenderly. 
"I'm sorry, I guess I'll never really change and neither will you.  But, you know what, Adrian Monk?  I wouldn't want you to!"
His expression softened as he laid his palm against the side of her face.  "We'll always have Rio!"
She giggled lightly as he brought her face upwards for a moment to kiss her soft lips with his and for a moment, he could almost swear he smelled gardenias.  They held each other close for a long time, as they knew it would more than likely be the last time.
"Yes, we will," Gail smiled and kissed him once more.  "I'm going to miss - that..."
His eyes warmed as he held her at arm's length and brushed her hair from her eyes. 
"Oh say - maybe it doesn't have to be!" she suddenly said.  "I mean, why couldn't we have this wonderful affair - travelling the world and solving crimes together?  Crimes by day and making love at night!  Wooo!  I like that idea!"
Adrian froze in place, his eyes as big as saucers.
"Excuse me!" he cried, abruptly and let her go.
Running for her phone, he immediately began dialling a number.  Gail came around the corner to hear he was the phone to a certain lieutenant at the SFPD to bring by some papers.
Gail spoke up.
"Backup?" she asked him.
He nods.
"Tall?"
He nods even more.
"Cute?  Young?  Blonde?" she asked.
Nods on all three counts.
"Thank you!" Gail chirped and took the phone from his grasp.  But as he was about to walk away, she pinched his ass.  He jumped and could hear her giggling as she took the call in the other room.
Adrian sank down on the sofa in obvious relief, as he held a cushion over his face.  He had survived Gail Fleming!  Amazing!  Peace at last!
Then the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Sharona yelled in the hall, running off to answer it.
She opened the door to Dylan Thomason and his butler, Giles.
"Oh, hello there - who might you be?" Dylan asked.
"I'm sorry..." Sharona answered.  "Do I know you?"
"I'm a friend of Gail and Adrian's - better known as Gwen and David Lazar.  Are they here by any chance or are they off banging the old headboard again?!"
Sharona was speechless as Adrian ran up past her to prevent further damage at the door.
"There you are!  I say, old man - just how many pretty birds are you shacking up with?"
"Thanks for visiting, really must go, bye!!" Adrian said and slammed the door in his face.
"That's a dash rude!!  I have a video of your trip for you, Adrian!!" Dylan shouted through the closed door.
Sharona was heard gasping, opening the door, she snatched the video from his hands.  Dylan saw Adrian try to fight Sharona for it furtively but unsuccessfully as she slammed the door again.
"I hate to be the one to say this, sir - but perhaps we should have allowed a grace period before paying Mr. Monk a friendly visit!"
They wandered down the street to the car where Maggie was waiting for them.
"Quite, Giles - quite!"

THE END
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